Chapter 10
Jacob.
"I love you,"
The second the words leave my lips, I can't believe I've said them. I feel my heartbeat quicken and I hold my breath as I wait for Moon to reply.
But she doesn't.
I start to panic. I want to tell her I didn't mean it, that it was a mistake. Crap, she probably thinks I'm a freak.
"Moon, I—I didn't—I…" I try to back pedal but stop when I hear her slow, even breathing. Her body is still. I turn her so I can see her face. Her eyes are closed and her lips are parted slightly. I sigh out of relief as I realize she's asleep. I guess I'd be tired too if I was just put through the wringer in one of the worst possible ways. I think back to the way Sam smirked at me while Moon was subjected to self-inflicted torture.
My blood instantly begins to boil. How dare he take his anger out on an innocent girl instead of settling it with me face-to-face. Was he scared? Was he afraid that if he did challenge me to a Death Match, I might actually win? That coward! What kind of Alpha does that? A weak one, that's what. He's not even the Alpha; I am. I could be a great Alpha, I know I could be. But…I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility. I'm only seventeen for God's sake!
I know that sounds like a lame excuse any teenager would make against any position that required any amount of responsibility, but this isn't some part-time summer job we're talking about here—it's Alpha responsibility! As Alpha, the safety and well-being of my whole pack, maybe even my whole community, and maybe even the entire town of Forks would ride on my shoulders and I'm not ready for that. If you said I was lacking faith in myself, you wouldn't be far from the truth.
The worst part, the almost dangerous part is that Sam knows all of this. He knows how intimidated I am by the role of Alpha. Any debate or disagreement we have is settled by the whole "I'm Alpha, you're not" thing. I guess I can't blame anyone but myself. I wouldn't have any issues if I would just suck it up and take my rightful place as Alpha.
As I look at Moon while she sleeps soundly, the bruises and scratches on her face beginning to slowly heal themselves, an overwhelming feeling of anger, of territorial selfishness churns in my gut. As far as my wolf is concerned, for some reason, Moon is Mine. She is Mine to protect and defend and anyone who hurts her will pay.
Woah. The realization throws me back. My wolf wants Moon, has already claimed her as my own. How did this happen without me noticing? How could I not have noticed this huge, territorial connection form between us? And how did this happen in the course of a few days? This can't be right. Am I mistaking my concern for love? I'd be worried about anyone in Moon's situation; that's just the way I am. There's no way my wolf is in love with Moon.
But as I look down at her and brush my fingers against her pale cheek, she whimpers slightly and nuzzles into the touch; I feel the wolf inside of me growl "Mine". Every fiber of my beast wants to protect this girl, to never let anyone ever hurt her again.
So it's true. My wolf has Marked Moon as my own. But have my human heart and mind done the same?