Arthur had spent the rest of the afternoon with his father, Uther had lapsed into a strange place in his mind. He had started to mumble about the witch named Nimueh. Merlin had been excused until dinner – as he still wasn't fully forgiven for taking the lead about ending the hunting trip even though he had been right. However, there was no way to know that the weather was magical in nature and he hadn't prepared for rain. The idiot needed to think about things more carefully if he were to truly be a servant in the employ of the royal household.
"Pretty, but dangerous. I didn't know. I couldn't have known," Uther muttered a bit of drool accumulated around the edges of his lips. Some spilled down his stubble as he whispered, "I thought I knew."
To assume regency would be usurping his father's power, however it was becoming clearer every day that Uther would never be the king he once had been. He would never be the man who Arthur called father. His soul was leaving him a little more each day. His heart had been broken. Gaius had said that there was no known remedy for the damage that had been done.
It hadn't escaped Arthur's notice that Gaius did not put the entire blame on Morganna.
When Uther fathered her, he had effectively dug his future grave and even though Arthur was disappointed, angry, and felt as if he had been robbed of his sister – he could not demand justice. What his father was suffering, was punishment enough. All he could do was try to bring his father out of this personal hell or he would soon be watching his father die.
Uther's green eyes filled as he muttered, "I didn't know. I thought it would take the servant, but The Cup took Ygraine. Nimueh told me. A price. What a price. Seemed so easy. King's do not pay. She didn't know. He had tried to warn me about the nature of the magic, but I didn't listen. Magic murdered my wife."
It was as if a Dorocha had flown through Arthur as he realized that Morgause had revealed to him the truth. Merlin had been wrong. Morgause hadn't tried to trick him. His king, his father had been responsible for his mother's death. It was his bad judgment. It was his fault and for his mistake – he slaughtered anyone and anything that had magic. Despite that the first time this information had come to light, Arthur had been so angry that he had attempted to kill his father – this time he looked upon the broken man in front of him with pity.
"I told The Cup to take the servant's life," Uther repeated sadly. Tears formed in his eyes, but they hadn't spilled, "Why didn't The Cup take his life?"
If his son wanted to get an answer, he wouldn't have been able to ask the question. He honestly did not want to know who his father tried to bargain, no sacrifice... he did not want to know who's life his father had tried to sacrifice. It was bad enough to know that his mother had been the sacrifice.
"Yyygrainne," whine Uther, clutching at his chest and rocking back and forth. Uther was crying in earnest now. Tears slid down his face as he relived his heart break.
"She's not coming back," Arthur said quietly to his father. His voice was heavy with sadness, "You murdered her."
His father, for just a moment, looked Arthur in the eyes with what seemed to be clarity. Eyes and nose running, lips trembling – his head slightly bowed as he muttered, "I know."
He had not planned on spending so much time with his father, but Arthur could not seem to rise from his chair for the longest time. Uther's suffering had been so heartbreaking and yet so...
Outside the king's chamber stood Merlin even though he had been given time to go to what ever it was that Merlin does. Other servants would have stood more formally, but Merlin wasn't like the rest of the castle staff. He wasn't like anyone else. He was leaning against the wall, with one foot up, pressing against the wall. His place face, bruised with the lack of rest was turned to the side as he watched – something or someone down the hallway. The thin frame shivered even though he was wearing his brown suede jacket. Over all, his physical self was a bit to long even though he was not obnoxiously tall like Percival, it had to be the slimness or the delicate bone structure.
There was something about Merlin that was beautiful. Not in the maidenly sense! It was as if he were some romantic figure, carved combined with a shabbiness that only extreme neglect and poverty could forge. There were times like these that he reminded Arthur of a living statue exquisitely displayed in his own frail misery. Arthur knew he wasn't feeling well. He gave up on the idea that his servant had been enchanted and now he worried that Merlin was just wearing out. Some servants did that after some time. Usually they were women who when after they became women would begin fainting and be unable to do the hard labor required of their station.
Merlin had been wrong.
He wanted to call out to Merlin that he had been wrong about Morgause, but the corridor was no where to have that kind of discussion. Instead he half walked, half marched his way to his own rooms where Merlin hopefully had a meal waiting for him. He wanted a bath to chase off the chill. He wanted to sit in front of the fire and not bother with reports. Aggravaine would no doubt want to speak to him about the meeting and interrogate him about why he hadn't had a heads up before it had taken place.
The idiot, that loyal idiot – had been wrong.
A red flash of lightning lit up the hallway and the boom was so .. physical.. he felt as if his teeth were loose. He cursed under his breath unsure if Merlin had done the same. Finally at his chambers, Arthur felt as if he could relax a little. It was strange. The room was comfortable, but the walk was almost as if he were heading to the gallows. Each step had been difficult for the safety here meant he would be able to speak freely and while he wanted to talk to Merlin, he dreaded it as well.
Some covered dish was waiting for him on the table. The fire was low, but the room was very warm. The heat felt good. Nothing was out of place and the floor looked decently clean – Arthur was a little disappointed. It would be hard to talk to Merlin without it being obvious that he wanted to talk. Arthur ignored his dinner even though he was glad to see that it was there. He sat into the cushioned chair in front of the hearth, "Merlin, grab a seat. Bring it here. We need to talk about something."
In his mind he could hear his friend say things like, "You know I'm always right... I told you so... Why didn't you listen to me? I was right about that... I was right... You need to learn to listen as well as you fight... I was right, Arthur... "
"...Arthur?"
Arthur sighed. He and Merlin had been at odds for so many weeks, but he needed his Merlin – his friend to be there for him right now. Even if Merlin was sick, he'd have to find a way to reach though to his friend because right now he needed to talk. He couldn't tell his mother's blood, his uncle, that his father had been responsible for his mother's death. Instead of being contrite and full of remorse, he blamed others. He had blamed magic. He took it out on his kingdom and removed something mysterious from his realm. Even if it had not been intentional, Uther was responsible and he had not taken responsibility even though deep down – he knew he was to blame.
Merlin dragged a chair over and lowered himself carefully onto it. He crossed his long legs at the ankle and laced his fingers together over where his stomach. Arthur stared at the straps on his friend's boots for a moment, wondering why the cobbler had wasted so much extra leather on frivolous decoration.
"What did you want to speak about, Arthur?" Merlin asked for the second time, his voice was soft and moderated with extreme patience.
Arthur swallowed and tried to reign in his feelings but a grim grin grotesquely took residence on his face, "It isn't like I'm happy about it, but I finally get the chance to tell you that you were wrong, Merlin. For once, I have proof you are an idiot."
"Arthur?"
Arthur raised his focus from his servants boots to his stormy blue eyes, "My father is responsible for my mother's death, Merlin. It wasn't an attempt by Morgause to turn me against him." The depths of blue were filled with compassion, understanding, and even regret – but there was no sign of surprise. Arthur's intestines quivered sickly as the truth dawned on him, "You already knew, didn't you, Merlin?"
"Yeah, I knew." He had lied. They both knew it. "You were ready to kill him. I couldn't let you kill your own father, Arthur. You were angry and you had every right to be angry. Tell me, would you be able to live with it? Would you be able to slaughter your father over his arrogance? He made an arrogant decision. He thought that he could command The Cup, but no mere man, even if he is a king, can command The Cup."
"I'm assuming Gaius told you the rest after the fact?"asked Arthur. He felt betrayed on level, but also protected. He wasn't a child!
Merlin nodded, "I asked him what he knew about The Cup of Life. It was a very interesting bed time story." The thin man sucked on his bottom lip before asking, "How did you find out?"
"My father has reached a whole new level of insanity. He is mourning his wife. He admitted to his crime," explained the young Pendragon who was staring at his own hands, "he turned his guilt into anger and he stained not only his hands, but mine as well in blood. The kingdom is dripping with his guilt."
"You didn't... yknow... kill him, did you?" anxiously asked Merlin who grinned when his friend shook his head no in answer. "Well that's good. I didn't like lying to you. I do not enjoy when I have to tell a lie, but I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. You do understand that, don't you?"
Arthur hadn't expected the conversation to have gone like this, but he was almost relieved that it had. He would rather find out that Merlin lied to protect him from doing something that he would regret than to find out that his friend had been wrong. However, he really didn't want Merlin having to lie to him. Knowing the truth was important. He didn't need Merlin to edit what information he was exposed to and what he wasn't. Truthfully, as much as there were times when he wanted Merlin to be wrong just to bring down the level of smugness that built up over time... he actaully would rather have Merlin be spot on.
"I'm not going to tell my uncle," Arthur admitted while leaning back his head to study the ceiling.
Merlin sighed, "Do you really honestly think that he has no idea?"
Arthur fought the urge to fidget. He didn't like the question. He said what he wanted to and had a hard revelation about his friend. He didn't want to discuss his uncle so he switched the subject to one that had been on his mind, "I'm glad we're not at odds anymore, Merlin. I know things have been stressful lately. You haven't been feeling well have you? I mean besides the not being able to eat properly because you're so busy being lazy."
Arthur had smiled his best teasing smile, but Merlin was frowning at him in his very un-Merlin-like way. Stormy blue eyes narrowed before the boy said, "You know, it would be funny if I failed at being a manservant, however I'm not treated like other manservants. Your father's manservant does not have to do half the things I do. For some reason I get to do half of the stable boys job. You have a trainer for your dogs and he is supposed to exercise them. You have scullery women who do the laundry for the castle but I'm responsible for yours – and yours alone. No one else but me has been maintaining the buttery, so I'm doing that job as well. Apparently the person who had that job has been let go. Tell me, Arthur, just how lazy I am?"
The blonde gave over to laughter much to Merlin's surprise. He snapped, "Should I tell you what I do for Gaius? I..."
"Merlin! Do you think I'd give you extra work if you couldn't do it? At first when you started working for me I was determined to make you hate the position and leave – but you manage all of your chores and extra. I'm serious when I say I can't train anyone to do your job." Merlin only blinked so Arthur continued on, "I thought you'd give up. I thought you'd tell me off and give me a reason to throw you in the stocks but instead you rose to each task. You have shown loyalty. Granted your loyalty is laced with insults and petulance. You can be girlishly moody, but you have your moments. And I'm reluctant to admit this but you do have your wise moments – when you aren't wrong. Do me a favor though? Don't lie to me to keep me from making a mistake. I don't want to live a lie."
Arthur was laughing.
Merlin wasn't. In fact Merlin was angry. "Arthur, you don't pay me enough to do all that work."
Arthur was still laughing.
Merlin sighed, "You can compensate me for the lack of pay. I need three days off."
"And why do you think you are going to get three days off? I've been rather generous considering your poor judgment lately, being sick, missing work in the mornings and sending George to wake me. I think I've been quite generous about the amount of time you miss without removing wages from your salary," snapped Arthur.
Merlin glowered, "I need to move my mother from Ealdor to Camelot. I finally found a place for her to live that I can afford. I want to do that soon."
"Merlin, look outside," Arthur said carefully, "We're under a magical attack. Granted it's just snow and a light show with wind, but what if it doesn't cease? What if it affects the crops? People could starve. I need you here with me now to be at my side as I solve this. After we get this straightened out, then you can have the time to move your mother. It hadn't occurred to me that you were going to move her here. I can't pay you that badly if you're going to be paying for your mother to stay here."
Merlin was still angry, but he didn't say anything. He just picked at the edges of his neckerchief before he said, "Your dinner is probably stone cold by now."
"I can eat it cold," stated the young Pendragon. "You have served me worse."
A knock at the door interrupted just when Arthur felt like Merlin understood and that he was still his friend – that there was a way through all of this. It was Leon.
"Sire, we have a problem." Leon's voice was grave as if he were about to tell Arthur something truly disturbing. "We have druids asking to speak to you and .. and we found something strange in the woods."
Arthur stood and smoothed out his tunic, "They are risking arrest to come and talk to me. It has to be important. I'll see them. Leon, what else is there. What's in the woods? Come on. Tell me."
"There's an area near Camelot. Very close to Camelot's gates that we never noticed before. Well there wasn't this snow here before either, but Sire. It's completely snow free. Everything is green. Everything is lush and growing. It's like a haven."
"It has to be magic," said Arthur grimly.