Previously...

"Then lets get rid of her."

A grin that Edward knew all too well plastered Bella's face. It was the grin she wore when she was thinking evil, evil thoughts.

Edward couldn't help smiling back. "What do you have in mind?"

"Bella! Calm! Deep breaths!" Edward said loudly as they walked back into the living room.

Bella breathed in and out a few times. "I can't calm down , dammit! A huge celebrity is holding auditions for the most beautiful girl in town! I'm that girl Edward!"

Tanya's head popped up. "Celebrity? What celebrity?"

Bella started hyperventilating again. "Robert Pattinson!"

"WHAT!?" screeched Tanya, jumping up. "Oh em GEE! I like, love him!"

"Back off biotch! He's mine!" said Bella, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Besides, you don't even know the terms and conditions. Go down there looking like THAT and you have no chance."

"And you think you stand a chance?" sneered Tanya. "What are the terms? Dress like a hobo and have awful split ends?"

Bella pretended to crack. "No! For your information, the terms and conditions are..." she pulled out the list she and Edward had written on toilet paper. "Number one, must have pink hair."

"Done." muttered Tanya.

Edward and Bella avoided looking at each other in fear they would collapse into hysterics.

"Two. Must be dressed leopard skin cat suit with peanut butter facial mask."

"I have a leopard skin cat suit!" exclaimed Tanya.

"Three, must walk into mall singing high school musical song of choice."

"What I've been looking for." Tanya decided.
"And lastly, must have tattoo of Rob himself on cheek."

"I've so totally always wanted a tat. Its just like face-painting, right?"

"Riiiight." chanted the whole room in unison.

"Sorry to bail." Tanya strode over to the door. "But...uh....I'm gonna. Ily." and she slammed the door behind her.

About two second went by and then the whole room collapsed.

"Oh...my...God....You guys.... we.... face-painting...."

"I know....pink....hair...cat suit..."

"We officially rock." Edward declared once they had recovered. He scooped Bella up into a hug.

Bella pretty much melted into him. It felt so good. "I agree." she said into his shoulder. "I literally cannot wait for tomorrow."

Alice skipped into the room pulling Jasper by the hand. "We are NOT ditching tomorrow Jazz."

"Gee, eavesdrop much?" complained Edward.

Pfff! Yeah! The nerve of some people! Thats almost as bad as hiding under a jeep for an hour to get the dirt on someone else's love life! Terrible.

"It was pretty hard to miss. And by the way, never become actors. You both suck."

"Tanya didn't seem to notice."

"Thats because Tanya is an idiot!" exclaimed Alice.

"Agreed!" shouted the whole room.

"Anyway, now that we've gotten rid of Edward's lovely girlfriend, seriously, what a catch, we can get down to business." said Bella.

"Buisness?" echoed Edward.

I believe she means snogging each others brains out until the cows come home, m'dear.

"Yeah. The whole reason we organized this lil get together, was to find out exactly what you were doing when you disappeared without a trace."

Alice pulled Jasper down onto the couch. "I want to hear this too, your post-cards were always.... vague. 'Dear, Alice..." she said in a perfect imitation of her brothers voice. " 'I'm having fun in L.A. Doing stuff. Hope you're ok. Remember, appliances, although helpful, are not your friends. Talk to someone else once in a while. Love Edward'"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Exaggerate much?"

"Just tell us what happened!" Bella yelled impatiently.

"Ok...ok. So I was kinda hit by inspiration. I was watching a movie and was like 'If those actors make so much money playing make believe, why can't I?'"

Well, snookums, if you would simply LISTEN to your sister, you would know that you CAN'T ACT!

"So I decided to go to L.A. I packed my bags, grabbed Dad's credit card and off I went."

"Dude..." murmured Emmett.

"So, I pretty much met Tanya on my way there. She wanted to act too so we set off together."

Bella gritted her teeth, imagining only too clearly that little journey.

No, no, Bella. Edward left his HSM CD at home.

"Well, I haven't seen you in any blockbusters lately. What happened then?" Bella demanded.

Edward shrugged. "We crashed and burned and spent the rest of Dad's money on partying. Then it all ran out so I came home and Tans tagged along."

They all sat in silence for a minute, apart from the sound of Zac Efron muttering pathetically, "Like kindergarten."

"Oh for the love of GOD! Rosalie, turn the damn thing off!"