Author's Note: I haven't quite kept up with my writing schedule for this story. I hoped that I would be way out past chapter 15 by now, but I''m actually still writing 12. Mmm. I blame Innocence for this. And also the fact that I decided to turn my one shot Monkey Business into a multi-chapter for another writing challenge, and that has actually been much more of a challenge than a smutty farce has any right to be. I also got sick, which seems to be becoming a habit for me to get sick around this time of year.

One of the scenes in this chapter owes a debt of "inspiration", homage if you will, to an scene from the early chapters of my favourite author's first book. Fellow fans might recognise it ;) Shout out if you do. The setting for that scene was impulsive and without reason, but once I got into it it struck me that much of the action was perfect for this story, so I reworked it for Bulma with entertaining results. Ah, Bulma...such a clever, silly, bratty, spunky teenager.

Now, where were we? That's right - flying through the air in Raditz's arms!

'Left more' Bulma cried. 'Just a bit further!'

She was doing her best to read the dragon radar where she held it over Raditz's shoulder out of his sight, while at the same time clinging to him for dear life with her other hand. When he'd first picked her up her brain had gone into a flatline of blank joy at the feel of his strong arms around her back and under her legs. He had grinned down at her and she'd lost her breath. Then they'd taken off and she'd literally lost her breath. The wind whooshed past her face, stealing the air from her nose and mouth, the moisture from her eyes, roaring in her ears, and far too loud for conversation. Raditz held himself parallel to the ground they flew over, and Bulma's body hung unsupported between his arms, her butt dangling a hundred metres above the hard earth below. Her heart beat fast, not from excitement but from fear that he would drop her or that she would drop the radar.

She released the death grip on the shoulder of his armour long enough to point at a barren, rocky stretch on the side of the mountain they were skirting. 'There!'

They landed, which was even more alarming than flying, and Bulma slithered free of Raditz's arms. She looked down at her radar and then jumped guiltily as Raditz sidled up to her, looking over her shoulder and standing close enough to be touching her.

'What's that, then?' he asked, grinning down at her.

'Complicated!' she said, hiding it against her chest. The others were landing now too. A smell like bad eggs hit her, and she wondered what the heck Raditz had had for breakfast. She'd had more beans, which Goku and Krillin had saved for her, cold, congealed and in a distressing but not wholly unenjoyable sauce called 'Ice Chilli.'

'Excuse me, I need my space to concentrate!' she said loudly, wandering away from them.

She heard Vegeta's cynical 'Hnn' behind her, and Krillin assuring him that she needed no interruptions to do her work before he scuttled over to her to "assist" her . Stifling the sound of the proximity beeps somewhat with her hand she turned until the dragonball was directly in front of her, checked the distance gauge and counted about 80 metres on the grid. Then she wasted another minute just for show, hmm-ing and ah-ing before finally announcing 'I've got it! Follow me!'

She led the way uphill, stepping over the wind-hardy alpine grasses and shrubs and sliding a bit on the scree. The bad egg smell grew stronger as she crested a rise and looked down into a pit of bright, steaming, turquoise water. A quick glance told her what she didn't want to know. The dragonball was squarely in the middle of the small volcanic lake.

'Oh, crap.'

She wandered down the crater-like bank to the water's edge, but she could already feel the heat coming off it, and even soaking up from the ground through the soles of her shoes. She dipped a tip of a finger in to the water for half a second and pulled it out fast.

'Yeah, that's hot!'

She tried to cool her finger by putting it in her mouth and ended up sticking her tongue out at the powerful, burning, chemical taste.

'Eh!' she squealed, wiping her tongue hurriedly on the shoulder of her dress. 'And acidic!'

The boys joined her at the water's edge, Goku and Raditz both not willing to take her word for it and testing the temperature and the taste for themselves.

'I'd swim down for it Bulma, but even I don't like my baths this hot,' said Goku, spitting on the ground.

'You're telling me it's down there?' said Vegeta.

'No one said fetching dragonballs was easy!' she replied, and then she scrambled back up the bank – the heat coming up through her shoes was getting unbearable.

'Submarine?' suggested Krillin, leaping up to join her.

'We can't take a submarine down in that,' she said. 'Look at the bubbles in the centre! Submarines aren't designed for boiling water. And even if it survived, we wouldn't - we'd be baked alive!'

'How are we going to get it then?' asked Goku, joining them.

Raditz and Brolly were looking at Vegeta, and Raditz asked Vegeta practically the same question. 'What now, boss?'

Vegeta looked at the cat on his shoulder. 'Daemon? Any ideas?'

'How about you swim into it and have all the meat cooked off your bones?' said Puar unhelpfully.

'Huh. Don't be cheeky or you'll be the one taking a swim,' he replied, smiling anyway.

Vegeta floated up into the air to survey the problem from above. Bulma watched him, mentally running down the inventory of her capsule kit. Extending mechanical arm? No, too short. Flame resistant, heat reflecting suit? Not water-tight. What of their skills? Would Goku be able to do something? Could his powerful Kamehameha wave be useful here?

'Girl,' Vegeta called down at her. 'How indestructible are these dragonball gems?'

'Reasonably indestructible, but I'm not sure. It's not like I've stress-tested them. I mean, what's the point of using a bomb or something to blow the water out of the lake if we then destroy the dragonball?'

'We won't need a bomb,' said Vegeta, turning to face them. As she watched his contemplative expression stretched into a smile that she was beginning to grow familiar with. It was as if no happy emotion could pass over his face unless it was prompted by the misfortune of others or, as in this case, gloating at his own cleverness.

'Out of the way, all of you,' he said, raising his hand. 'Unless you want to die.'

Bulma looked up at him, puzzled by the soft glow that appeared in his palm, though Krillin and Goku immediately blanched and trembled.

'Get back, Bulma,' cried Goku, and pulled her far out of the way, the rest of them following. The light in Vegeta's hand suddenly burned brilliant blue and white. Puar sat up on Vegeta's shoulder and gasped 'What are you doing?'

'What is that?' said Krillin.

'It's not a Kamehameha wave, that's for sure,' said Goku. 'But it uses chi just like it.'

The ball of light streaked out of Vegeta's hand, striking the edge of the water near where they'd been standing. Hot rocks and water exploded, splattering the area, but mostly it was blasted down the mountain the way they'd come. With a rumble the bank slowly gave way, the water of the lake pulling it with it as it began to crumble, and the water forced its way through the gap Vegeta had created. Soon the water was rushing away through a massive break in the crater wall. Vegeta helped it on its way with a few smaller blasts, widening the gap and then deepening it as the water level began to even out. In a few short minutes the lake was drained except for a bubbling pond right in the centre of the steaming cauldron. Bulma had to admit it was clever. But I'd have thought of that pretty soon, she assured herself.

Vegeta hovered over the remaining water.

'I can see it,' he said. 'Sort of.' He stretched out his hand and blew another, narrow beam of energy straight downwards. The water barely reacted.

'Don't hit it!' she protested.

'I'm not an idiot!' he shouted back. He let off another blast, then a third, and Bulma was about to refute him when she noticed that the water was slowly draining downwards, into the holes he'd just made in the underlying rock. The dragonball came into view, sitting proud on a twisted piece of rock.

'Oh. I guess you're not an idiot,' she muttered.

Vegeta snatched up the ball triumphantly and flew to rejoin them, opening his mouth to offer himself whatever congratulation, when suddenly there was a deafening bang behind them. Bulma, Krillin, Goku and Brolly were blown onto their backs and Vegeta tumbled to land on top of them, and only Raditz kept his feet as they were all splattered with scalding mud.

'Ow! Fuck! Ow!' Raditz howled.

'Let's get out of here!' screamed Bulma. 'Fly!'

All five boys leapt into the air.

'No! Wait! Take me with you!' she screamed. Vegeta was back with stunning speed, hoisting her over his shoulder and winding her. They flew like the blazes up the mountain. She could see Krillin and Goku fall behind as they couldn't keep apace with the other Saiyans.

'Why did that happen?' screamed Puar shrilly as she clung desperately to Vegeta's other shoulder. Bulma didn't answer though as a second, larger explosion shot rocks, water and ash into the sky, followed by a massive steam cloud that rose up and blocked the sun. Small rocks came pattering down on the ground below them, followed by some larger ones. 'Faster!' she screamed.

Once they were out of the radius of the falling debris they slowed and Vegeta dumped her on the rocky ground, which was rumbling ominously.

'What the fuck was that?' he shouted.

'You moron!' she shouted back. 'You triggered a volcanic eruption when you blasted your, whatever it was, chi, straight down into an active crater!' She didn't mention that she had thought it a good idea until the moment of the explosion too. Another booming ejection had them all looking fearfully down the mountain again, and then there was a smaller one behind them. Bulma looked behind her and noticed that he had set them down right on the lip of the mountain's main caldera. 'We have to get off this mountain, NOW!'

He threw her over his shoulder roughly and jumped into the air again. A scared looking Goku and Krillin had only just caught up, and Raditz grabbed them both and tucked one under each arm. Brolly looked only mildly excited, a hint of a smile on his face as he looked at the natural disaster flaring up about them.

Vegeta led them laterally away from the eruption, slowing only when the mountain's slopes shallowed out into rolling foothills. He slapped the back of her thigh.

'Girl, wake up! Which direction should we be going?'

'Hey!' she protested, dragging her eyes away from the pillar of ash and steam and turning the radar back on. She checked the radar again, with some difficulty.

'We need to go that way,' she said, trying to point with her foot as her arms were otherwise occupied.

Half an hour later they landed in the wooded verge on the side of a road. Bulma groaned and staggered with stiffness after being carried so awkwardly for so long.

Every indication was that the next dragonball was somewhere in the small town over the rise of the hill. As they began to walk down the road the group fanned out across it. Hearing a car coming from behind, Krillin, Bulma, and eventually Goku moved off the road to let it pass. The Saiyans didn't.

'Guys,' said Krillin nervously. Vegeta flicked him a glance as the car slowed and the driver honked their horn at them.

'Hey, bozos, get out of the way!' said the driver, hanging out the window. The Saiyans turned to look at the young, red-faced man as he edged his car around them. Bulma saw the flush fade from his face as his eyes took in the armour and scouters on Raditz and Vegeta, and Raditz's sheer size, and then he locked eyes with Vegeta. His mouth sagged open and then he shouted 'Fucking weirdos!' and floored it, his little hatchback's engine screaming with the effort.

'You know what, guys?' said Bulma, as they watched the car careen into town. 'Maybe you should let me and Krillin and Goku handle this one? You might create a bit of a stir in your armour and looking so...um…y'know.'

Vegeta frowned, clearly unsure whether he agreed with her or not.

'It would make sense, Vegeta,' counselled Raditz. 'You did say we should be as inconspicuous on Earth as possible.'

Vegeta bit his lower lip.

'It's not like we have any reason to duck out on you,' she assured him.

'Very well,' he said at last. 'We will escort you to the edge of town. Retrieve the gem and return as soon as you have it.'

'At once, Sir!' replied Bulma sarcastically. Vegeta gave her a dark look and Goku's stomach rumbled loudly.

'Do you think we could get some food in town, Bulma?' he asked. 'I'm hungry again already.'

'So am I,' she said. 'I'll get lunch for us all while we're there.' She could do with some decent, non-challenging Earth food herself.

Where the trees ended and the first houses started, Vegeta halted them.

'We will wait here,' he said. Then he plucked the com unit from a surprised Raditz. 'If you get into trouble you can't handle press this button on the side and talk in the vicinity of this unit. We will hear you.'

'Oh, thanks,' said Bulma, surprised that he would think of their safety.

'I do not want to lose my only dragonball hunter or a dragonball,' he added, wiping away that notion.

She turned and was about to step away when she spotted a rabbit munching happily on some grass only a few yards away, apparently oblivious of the people close by.

'Oh, look at the little rabbit!' she said. 'It's only a young one – it doesn't have the sense to be scared of us.'

'Wow, that's cute!' said Krillin, and then he looked over each shoulder at the Saiyans and hedged his observation, adding, 'Not that I would notice, being a man and everything.'

'Do you like rabbits, my Lady?' asked Raditz.

'Well, I guess I do,' she said, discounting the time a giant rabbit had turned her into a carrot. In a movement so fast that she couldn't follow it properly, Raditz leapt forward, snatched the rabbit and returned to her side. He held his hand out to her, grinning and offering her the now-limp body of the rabbit kitten. Bulma could only gawp in shock.

Raditz frowned. 'What's wrong?' he said. 'Shall I gut it for you?' He slid the skin back from its belly with ease and pushed his fingers inside its body cavity with a pop to scoop the entrails out. 'It's barely a mouthful,' he said, 'but you have such a petite appetite it will probably keep the hunger pangs at bay a while longer.'

'How could you?' she squealed as he pulled the intestinal sack back into view, and she turned away in revulsion.

'What? Don't you want it?'

'Are you an animal? No, I don't want to eat a cute, innocent little thing that's still warm, let alone raw!' She stomped away, getting more irritated when she heard Vegeta chuckling at the exchange.

'I'll eat it!' volunteered Goku.

Bulma made a face. 'Goku, if you touch that thing I swear you can stay here with the others!' she shouted over her shoulder.

Krillin and Goku hurried to fall in either side of Bulma. 'But when I'm really hungry and I don't have time to cook the meat I quite often eat it raw,' said Goku.

'Not listening!' she screeched, covering her ears with her hands. 'Gross! Gross! Saiyans are gross!'

Brolly, Raditz and Vegeta watched the Earthlings make their way out of sight.

'Ah, women. Who can understand them, eh?' said Raditz, raising an eyebrow at Vegeta.

'She is an alien – I doubt we could ever understand her, and I don't see any point in trying,' he told Raditz. 'We're leaving this idiotic planet as soon as we have all of these dragonballs.' He sat down in the grass to examine his find at last. It was about the size of an apple, deep yellow-amber, with two red star shapes that glimmered unnaturally in the heart of the translucent orb.

'Daemon, how do they work?' he asked Puar softly.

'You gather all seven of them and make a wish,' the cat replied.

'I know that much,' said Vegeta curtly. 'Tell me more. Tell me everything, and I warn you to hold nothing back.'

'But I don't know everything about them!' it protested.

'Tell me all that you know.'

It sighed. 'When you gather all seven together and summon the dragon, the sky goes dark and the Eternal Dragon appears. Then he grants you one wish.'

'Any wish at all?'

'Any wish within its power.'

'And what power is that?'

'Well, it can't bring back to life someone who has died of natural causes, or a person who's been dead for more than a year.'

Vegeta stared hard at the ball, pausing while he absorbed Puar's words. 'Anything else?'

'That's all I know. Other than the dragon is really scary.'

'You've seen it before?'

'Yes. Once.'

'So I could wish for fame or fortune?'

'Yes.'

'An enemy defeated, peerless strength?'

'I guess so.'

'A planet restored? Immortality?'

'I don't see why not,' it said. 'What will you wish for?'

'Maybe I haven't decided yet?'

'You should wish for that Frieza person to be defeated,' it suggested. 'That would be the best solution for everyone.'

'Oh little cat, what makes you think I'm interested in what is best for everyone?'

'But we're helping you so that our planet stays safe!'

'Of course,' said Vegeta the corner of his mouth lifting. 'And so it shall.'

Listening in to the conversation between Puar and Vegeta from his lookout, Kami was disturbed by the dark emotions he could sense Vegeta repressing.

'What are you up to?' he wondered aloud. He was worried about what Puar had suggested too. They didn't know all the limitations of the dragonballs. They couldn't defeat anyone stronger than Kami himself, and Kami knew that even the Saiyans were already stronger than himself. Whatever terror pursued them, the dragon would certainly not be able to defeat, bind or kill.

Kami quelled a shiver that ran through him. Most of the time being the Earth's Guardian was a joyous, if monotonous task, but sometimes it seemed like the universe wouldn't be satisfied until the planet was scrubbed from the heavens. He preferred his job when it wasn't exciting.

'How are we going to get you out of this scrape?' he asked his beloved planet.

A gust of cold wind clutched at him in answer.

'I am afraid for us,' he whispered.

Bulma, Goku and Krillin wound their way down the high street. Many people were standing around on the streets talking to each other and looking into the distance at the rising column of ash.

'Better get the washing in,' said one man into a cellphone. 'Looks like Mount Jellytip is erupting again.'

A few people gave their volcanic-mud splattered clothes a second glance, and Krillin a third because he was still wearing his pyjamas.

'This is silly,' said Bulma eventually. 'You can't wear your pyjamas day and night until we've found the dragonballs.' She rifled through her bag, coming up with a handful of bank notes. 'Now go buy something less ridiculous.'

'Thanks Bulma!'

'Just don't be long about it – I doubt Vegeta is the patient type.'

Ten minutes later he emerged from a children's wear shop wearing chinos, a polo shirt, a woollen overvest and loafers, grinning from ear to ear. Bulma's mouth fell open at the sight of the prep boy in miniature.

'Is that really appropriate adventure-wear, Krillin?'

'Hey, just because we're roughing it with a bunch of aliens doesn't mean I can't look sharp, Bulma!'

She shook her head. 'You can be so weird,' she muttered, turning away.

They followed the dragon radar into a side road off the town's main shopping street. Between a greasy, nasty takeaway joint and a permanently closed pottery studio the radar indicated that the dragonball was only five yards away inside the velvet-festooned store before then.

'Madam Astrid's Divinations,' Krillin read from the sign painted on the window.

'Another fortune teller?' said Goku. 'I wonder what this one will do?'

Bulma pursed her lips. She had had nothing but bad luck with fortune tellers, between pretty young ones making out with her boyfriend, and powerfully magical ones callously pitting her friends in battles of life and death.

As they entered, a bell over the door rang and they were overwhelmed by the smell of incense. Goku held his nose as they looked around the dim interior. The purple velvet curtains blocked most of the light from the windows, allowing an oil lamp to cast an orange glow on a paisley draped desk. More curtains screened a doorway on the opposite side of the room, and voices and soft music of chimes and pan pipes drifted through. A teenaged girl came rushing down the stairs in the corner with a soft drink in one hand and a bag of chips in another.

'Oh, hey,' she said. 'Do you have an appointment?'

'No,' said Bulma.

The girl belched slightly, then waved her hand dismissively. 'It's okay, she's got no one after this customer anyway. That is, if you're wanting the fifteen minute reading? If you want a deep reading you've got to make an appointment and fill in these forms.' She pulled her hand from the bag of chips and waved a sheaf of papers with her greasy fingers.

'That's okay,' said Bulma. 'We're not here for an appointment at all.'

'Well, what then?' said the girl.

'I think she's got something we need,' said Bulma, starting to get annoyed at the girl's attitude.

The girl gave Bulma a cool look. 'Take a seat,' she said. 'I'll ask Astrid if she'll see you when she's done with this customer.'

Bulma, Krillin and Goku sank into the very squashy cushions of a low sofa and waited while the girl crunched through the rest of her pack of chips. Bulma checked the radar and the ball was stationary, a frustratingly close four metres dead in front of her, beyond the velvet curtain. Before long an old lady with weepy eyes emerged from behind the curtains, clutching her hand to her heart and smiling while she wept. 'Oh, she is wonderful,' she said to the room in general. 'Money well spent!' she gushed as she floated out the door. Bulma raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms.

'Some youngsters looking for guidance!' exclaimed a voice from the opposite doorway. An iron haired, late middle-aged woman stood there in an unremarkable house coat, but with a rather facetious turban on her head.

'They said they don't want a reading,' spoke the chip-eating girl. 'They said they want something you have.'

'Well, I'm afraid readings are all I'm selling,' replied the woman, eyeing Bulma and the boys.

'Oh fine, we'll have a reading then!' said Bulma. They all climbed out of the sofa, but Madam Astrid held up her hands. 'One at a time, dears! I can't do three at once!'

'Why not?' asked Krillin.

'Because then we wouldn't pay three times over,' grumbled Bulma. 'How much is it?' she demanded.

'Two hundred zeni,' said the girl.

Bulma fished her wallet out of her bag and threw the money down on the desk.

'Lovely dear,' said Madam Astrid. 'Right this way.'

Through the curtain every fortune-telling cliché was fulfilled. Bulma ducked under some hanging crystals and slumped down on a boudoir chair next to a velvet draped circular table. Incense burned on a side counter and candle lanterns and salt lamps where the only illumination. Her eyes and hand immediately slid to a silk handkerchief covering a sphere, the very size of a dragonball.

'Oh, we don't go straight for the jugular here, my dear!' said the woman, catching her hand before Bulma could pull the handkerchief away. Instead she pressed a bone china teacup and saucer into her hand and turned to the side counter to take hold of a teapot that was hiding under a cosy.

'Jasmine tea okay for you? Otherwise I can boil the kettle for something else, but it'll take it's time to cool.'

Bulma rolled her eyes and held out the cup. 'Whatever. Let's hurry it up.' She felt sure the ball was under the cloth, and she was seriously debating just snatching it up and making off with it, but despite her impatience and natural scepticism, she was curious as to what the woman would tell her.

'Now, you drink that, try not to drink the leaves, and tell me a few things.'

'Like what?' she asked, ready to roll her eyes again. Was the woman such a lazy charlatan that she would fish for clues so baldly?

'Just some things to open you up a little. I'm not really getting a strong aura off you, my dear, I'm afraid you might be a little uptight to tell you the truth.'

Uptight? Her? Bulma bit her lip with difficulty, growing angry behind her tea cup. She drank the tea mechanically. It was only warm and rather over-steeped, but not completely unpleasant. 'Go on then.'

Madam Astrid's gaze swept over her appraisingly, her smile tightening at what she saw before looking Bulma in the eye. Her heavy eye makeup was caked in the crinkles of her crows' feet and bags under her eyes, but the eyes that bore into Bulma were unsettlingly canny.

'Now, when I say a word to you I want you to say the first thing that pops into your head.'

Bulma raised an eyebrow. 'Are you a fortune teller or a shrink?'

'Fortune teller. But I get better fortunes this way. So let us begin. I say "bicycle" you say?'

Bulma let her eye rolling impulse break free. 'Seat!' she said.

It was Madam Astrid's turn to raise a brow. 'Well, that's a new one. Very interesting.'

Bulma reviewed her own answer and blushed, but Astrid continued.

'I say "love", you say?'

'Boys.'

'Stars?'

'Spaceship.'

'Death?'

'Wish.'

'Diamond?'

'Tipped.'

'Hmm. Waves?'

'Particles.'

'Quasar?'

'Pulse.'

'Genius?'

'M-' Bulma pulled herself back from proclaiming her own genius – Vegeta's words from yesterday had stung her. 'Modesty,' she revised. She took another sip of tea and grimaced as she sucked on tea leaves.

'Here. Swirl those dregs around three times and I'll have a look at it.'

Bulma did so, and Astrid frowned into the cup she was given.

She frowned. 'Well, we've got a bridge, which is a sign of transition. A flower, which is emergence or growth. Neither of those is very surprising for a girl your age. There's a rather large void…Are you planning on going on a long trip sometime?'

'Skiing with my parents?'

'Mmm, that could be it. And there's something else…'

Bulma heaved a sigh rudely.

'Well, never mind. Let's have a look at your hand instead.'

'Wait, what was it?'

'Just another metaphor,' Astrid said as she took her hand, leaving Bulma wanting to know whatever it was Astrid had decided to keep from her. The woman examined her hand for just a few seconds before exclaiming, 'That is interesting!'

'What is?' Bulma asked, dying to know despite her certainty that she was being fed a pile of rubbish.

'You've got a nice long lifeline, but it's broken, which is unusual.'

'What does that mean? That'll I'll die and be resurrected?' she said, her sarcasm instantly regretted when she remembered that with dragonballs it was a possibility.

Astrid grinned. 'Well, that would be a very literal interpretation, and rather unlikely, don't you think? No, it probably represents a clean break away from your old life. A change of career; a change of country; a new identity, that kind of thing. No, it's your love line that's interesting.'

'Why is that?' Bulma asked eagerly, staring down at her own palm, trying to see the signs Astrid did.

'Are you the cheating type, my dear?'

'What?' said Bulma.

'Well, much of your love line is doubled up. One line starts later and ends sooner, but they run parallel to each other for a long way.'

'What does that mean? How do you interpret that?' she asked.

'I really don't know what to make of it, I'm sorry. It's not one I've seen before. I'd warn against taking it literally though. Unless you really are planning to commit bigamy or enter a ménage e tois?'

'Of course I'm not,' she said, looking frowning at her palm. She rubbed the thumb of her other hand over it hard as if she could rub out the lines on it.

'Don't worry about it, love, you don't believe in palmistry anyway,' said Astrid archly.

Bulma looked back at her narrowly. 'That's right. Nor tea leaf reading.' Her eyes slid to the sphere. 'How about a crystal ball reading though?'

'On to the hard stuff? As you wish.'

Astrid lifted the handkerchief and Bulma let out a harsh bark of laughter. The woman was a fraud for sure!

'I knew it!' she crowed, reaching out for the one-star dragonball that sat in a pewter cradle.

Astrid pulled it away from her before she made contact with it.

'Don't touch the crystal, dear. It's a medium between worlds.'

'It's not. It's a dragonball, and I've been looking for it.'

'A what, sorry? It's a crystal ball, handed down from mother to daughter through my family for generations!'

'Now you're lying, and we both know it!'

Astrid's eyes flashed with annoyance and she sat straighter in her seat. 'What of it? I bought it in a brick-a-brack shop a few months ago after my last crystal ball was smashed.'

'Well, I need that ball,' Bulma said, reaching for it again. Astrid snatched it out of the cradle though, and out of her reach unless she wanted to get up and wrestle the woman for it.

'Needing is not getting. What a grabby young woman you are! I bought this ball fair and square!'

Bulma backed off and folded her arms. 'All right then. How much do you want for it?'

Astrid gave her a long, piercing look. 'What an opportunity! How much would Bulma Briefs, heir to the Capsule Corp fortune, pay for a bauble that she "needs" so much?'

Bulma gasped. 'How did you know who I am?'

'Well your T-shirt was a big clue.'

Bulma looked down at the front of her shirt where her name was blazoned in five inch letters. 'Hmm. But there's more than one Bulma in the world.'

'Yes, but I also recognised you from your photographs.'

'What photographs? My family is very careful to keep out of the media! People hardly know I even exist - there hasn't been a single picture of me printed in a tabloid, newspaper or magazine!'

'Not a single one?'

'No!' And it was true, baring one or two exceptions, but there was no way…was there? She looked Astrid in the eyes, realisation stealing across her face.

'That's right, my dear, I read Physics Today and The Cutting Edge. You are a precocious thing, aren't you? But so was I, once upon a time.'

This was no simple fortune-teller. 'Who are you then?'

'Dr Alice Calliper. Or I was a doctor, until I was discredited and they stripped my physics doctorate away.'

Bulma paused to get her head around this new information. 'Is that because you were as fraudulent a scientist as you are a seer?'

'Not at all!' she retorted hotly. 'I was framed and ruined, and my work spat upon. I was a beauty when I was young. A senior faculty member at my university attempted to seduce me, and I spurned him and told his wife what happened. In retaliation he stole my work and then turned around and accused me of plagiarism! No one believed my side of the story. Colleagues I'd thought of as friends told me that all along they'd never believed I had innocently achieved what I had at such a young age. Here's a real fortune for free!' She leant towards Bulma, her lips curling down with bitterness as she told her, 'The same thing or similar will happen to you one day! People will tell you that youth, beauty and genius cannot reside in one person - especially one who has the temerity to be female! People will say you've ridden your father's coattails; that you've been trained like a parrot by him; that they don't trust your findings and inventions as they do his, or some other older, uglier, more male counterpart.' She sighed and settled herself again, going on in a calmer, but no less acidic tone. 'However, for you, I'm sure that inheritance will soften the blow somewhat and you'll not be reduced to teaching high school science to pay the rent.'

Bulma regarded Astrid for some long moments. She wanted to deny that such a thing would happen to her; she wanted to keep on feeling angry with the woman, but she couldn't quite manage either.

'How did you end up telling fortunes, then?'

'My Aunt died and left me this business. When I came to town to shut it down I discovered that fortune telling was a great deal more enjoyable for a similar amount of money as attempting to teach dim and uninterested teenagers. There you have it, the story of my life in short.'

'So how much do you want for the dragonball, then?' Bulma asked dully. She hoped it wasn't so much that her parents got upset.

'Only that you get my paper published. I want your father to read it, and for it to be published under the Capsule Corporation umbrella.'

Bulma gasped at the outrageous demand. It was much worse than money – it was Capsule Corp's reputation she wanted.

'My father will not have the company associated with poor or shoddy science!'

'Well good, because my work is neither poor, nor shoddy! Get him to read it. I promise he will want to publish it when he's done. And I have a witnessed, dated and secured copy, so if he tried to claim it as his own, I'll bring the company down about his ears!'

'He would never!'

'I'm glad to hear it! Do we have a deal?'

'Fine. It's a deal.'

Ten minutes later Bulma stalked out of the fortune-teller's shop with a dragonball in one had and a research paper in the other. Krillin and Goku had to run to catch up. She considered throwing the heavy ring-bound ream of paper in a bin as she passed, but a deal was a deal, and maybe the science was sound after all. She huffed and glanced at the title. "The Mechanics of Wormhole Propagation" she read and huffed. It would be some kind of miracle if it were anything more than crackpot pseudo-science.

They selected a bakery-cum-coffeehouse to buy lunch. When the man behind the counter asked what they wanted Bulma tried to calculate the amount of food required for herself, Krillin, Goku…and three other Saiyans.

'All of it. Just give me everything you've got.'

'What took you so long?'

Bulma had just been getting over her bad mood and starting to feel good about having the second dragonball in hand when Vegeta's imperious tone cut her right up again.

'It's a very boring story, but I shall repeat it all at length for you if you wish!' Bulma said. 'Or we could eat. I'm starving.'

She popped the capsule she had packed their lunch in and they picnicked right there on the grass verge. The Saiyans frowned and prodded at the food, but began eating ravenously after their first few bites. Bulma quickly snagged some sandwiches and a slice of mudcake as the others demolished the bakery's worth of food.

Raditz hoed down a meat pie in two bites. 'Hey Vegeta, get a load of these!'

Vegeta only growled enthusiastically as he ripped into a twelve-inch chicken and salad-filled bagette with his teeth. Once Bulma finished her lunch she sat back and watched the spectacle of four Saiyans chug-a-lugging sodas, pushing food into their faces and burping unrestrainedly. She picked the dragonball up from her lap and immediately attracted Vegeta's attention.

'Give it to me,' he commanded.

She looked back at him weighing up the consequences of resisting.

'No,' she said, evenly.

They stared at each other, Bulma trying to maintain a smooth poker face, while Vegeta's expression grew more intense, like a cat getting ready to pounce.

'You don't trust me,' he said lightly.

'You don't trust me either, obviously.'

He smiled smugly and Bulma suppressed a shiver as she looked away. She knew that he didn't need to trust her. If he decided to take the dragonball by force there was nothing she could do about it, and she doubted even Goku could stand in his way, not with that Nappa guy on his side. She wanted to maintain some control over the dragonballs, and he wanted all the control, and the only way she could think of to stop him from having it all was to somehow get him to trust her. But how? He didn't seem the trusting type.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Goku, who had been quite oblivious to their exchange.

'Two dragonballs before lunch, huh?'

'That must be some kind of record,' said Krillin.

'Hmm,' she mused. 'Maybe at this rate I'll be home in time for my birthday.'

'When is your birthday, Bulma?' asked Krillin.

'Two days. In two days I'll be seventeen.'

'Wow, that's so old,' said Goku.

'I'm going to be fourteen in less than a month,' said Krillin.

'Fourteen?' she replied. 'I thought you were twelve?'

'No. I've been thirteen for nearly a year.'

'I thought you were the same age as Goku!'

'I think I'm a little older. Although it's hard to tell, because Goku can't make up his mind how old he is.'

'I'm thirteen too, I think,' said Goku. 'Or at least, I said I was twelve last year, so I suppose I must be thirteen now.'

'You're nine,' said Raditz.

'Nine!' the three Earthlings exclaimed.

'I don't think that's right,' said Goku. 'I'm pretty sure I remember more summers than that.'

'Oh my gosh, this explains so much!' said Bulma. Krillin was staring at Goku, reassessing their friendship.

'No wonder you can ride the Flying Nimbus!'

'Do Saiyans grow up really fast?' Bulma asked the older ones. Goku had always seemed small for a twelve year old, but for a nine year old, or eight year old, when she met him, he was quite large.

'No, we grow up at the proper pace,' said Raditz.

'How old are you?' she asked.

'Sixteen,' he replied, and Bulma couldn't believe it.

'And you?' she asked of Vegeta.

'Not that it means anything to you, but I'm twelve.'

'Twelve!'

He scowled at her. 'This conversation is absolutely idiotic. I am twelve galactic standard years, but roughly twenty-four in Planet Vegeta years, and who knows how many in the years of this place.'

'Oh. Right. That makes sense. So how long is a galactic standard year?'

'Do you want us to count it out for you?' he said. 'Moron.'

'I am not a moron! How long is a galactic standard minute then? I suppose you have those too?'

'A minute is a minute long! It's a hundred seconds.'

'And how long is a second?'

'A second! Look at the cursor on the com unit you're holding. It blinks on the second.'

She did. It seemed to blink in time with the second hand on her watch at first, but then they slowly got out of time.

'What are you doing, Bulma?' asked Krillin.

'Shush, I'm counting.' After she'd counted the galactic seconds into a minute, and then, to be sure, counted how many earth seconds into a galactic minute she asked Vegeta, 'And how many minutes in an hour, and hours in a day, days in a year?'

'Fifty minutes in an hour, twenty hours in a day, five hundred days in a year.'

'Right then, so…Vegeta is about eighteen earth-years, Raditz is twenty three, and Goku is indeed about thirteen.'

She had the satisfaction of seeing the stunned surprise on Vegeta's and Raditz's faces.

'Did you just work that out in your head, just like that?' asked Raditz.

'Of course!'

'She could just be making up any number and we wouldn't know,' said Vegeta.

'Well, when you get around to checking my calculations you can let me know how I did,' she replied tartly.

'I wouldn't bet against Bulma on an answer to a math problem,' warned Puar.

Vegeta grunted. 'I guess your claim of genius must be based on something.'

'Last time I checked, grace was a virtue, Vegeta.'

'Last time I checked, so was discretion.'

Seething, she averted her eyes from Vegeta's taunting face, and let them rest on the only person who seemed uninterested in the conversation.

'What about you, Brolly? How old are you?'

'I was born about the same time as Kakarott.'

'That's right,' said Raditz. 'How did you know that Brolly?'

'I remember him.'

'You remember me?' said Goku, bouncing to his feet excitedly. 'I'm sorry, I don't remember you at all. It must be because I lost my memory when I banged my head as a baby. Were we friends?'

Brolly pressed his lips together in an expression of mild annoyance.

'No. You were a cry baby.'

'Oh. We could be friends now, though. I don't think I've cried since I was a baby.'

Brolly looked up at Goku from where he knelt on the grass, the barest hint of suspicion marring his blank face. 'Maybe.'

'Stop this nauseating talk, Kakarott,' said Vegeta. 'No one is "friends" here. We are Saiyans and warriors, and such connections mean nothing to us, so start getting used to it.'

'What are you talking about, no "friends"?' Goku complained. 'Aren't you all friends with each other? Why do you all live and work together if you don't like each other?'

'We stick together because we are Saiyans,' said Raditz.

'And because there is no other choice,' said Vegeta. 'I'm not giving you any other choice.'

Goku and Vegeta locked eyes, Vegeta daring the younger boy to defy him, and Goku indignant and defiant in spades. Barely seeming to move, both boys looked coiled to spring at the other. The hairs pricked up on Bulma's arms as she could feel the energy in the air pick up.

'I don't wanna join you Saiyans,' Goku growled.

'Did I not say I wasn't giving you a choice?'

'Goku,' said Krillin quietly, 'I don't think you want to fight him.'

'Yes, I do,' said Goku. Suddenly his face transformed with a darkly gleeful grin that Bulma had not seen on Goku very often. 'I want to fight him.'

'Don't do it, brother,' chimed Raditz lightly, getting to his feet. 'It won't be pretty.'

'It won't be a fight,' said Vegeta, smiling back at Goku. 'So this is your last chance to back down.'

'I won't do what you say,' said Goku. 'You won't stop me from being friends with Brolly if I want to be.'

In a sudden explosion of movement, Vegeta left his place on the ground and had Goku clutched by the throat before all of them. Bulma screamed, and Vegeta head-butted Goku with a crack that rang around the wood-lined road and then tossed him to the ground at Raditz's feet.

'Brolly,' said Vegeta. 'You are not to be friends with this fool Kakarott.'

'Yes, Your Highness.'

With that Vegeta turned his back on them all.

Bulma and Krillin ran to Goku, who was groaning, but Raditz lifted him by his gi before they got to him.

'I told you not to do it,' said Raditz as he put Goku on his feet. The boy sagged and would have fallen to his knees if Krillin hadn't caught him. A big red patch was forming on his forehead, and a trickle of blood where the skin had split.

'Goku, are you alright?' wailed Bulma. 'We should take him to a hospital, or at least lie him down!'

'No, s'okay, Bulma,' slurred Goku.

'He'll be fine. The prince went pretty easy on him, all things considered,' Raditz reassured.

The Prince! Bulma swung around to glare at his back, fear warring with fury inside her. How dare he treat her friends like this! She wanted to punch him in the face for what he'd just done, but if he hit her back with the force he'd just shown Goku, it would be the last thing she ever did.

As if he could feel her eyes scorching the back of his head he turned and caught her staring.

'Where is the next dragonball, girl? I'm growing impatient for my wish.'

Author's Note: For my Kiwi readers...Jellytip...lol.

Oh yes, if you liked my story Monkey Business: A Midsummer Night's Dream, keep your eyes peeled for several new chapters, the first of which is coming soon. You may want to go there now and click follow if you're keen not to miss it. The whole of the next chapter is going up on this site, but the next one...uh oh!

You may not care, but here are "Bulma's calculations" for future reference.

Galactic standard:

100 seconds in a minute

50 minutes in an hour

20 hours in a day

500 days in a year

50,000,000 seconds in a year

34,615,385 galactic seconds in an earth year.

94,836.67 galactic seconds in an earth day

3,951.53 galactic seconds in an earth hour

65.56 galactic seconds in an earth minute.

1.0976 galactic seconds in an Earth second

1.44444 earth years in a galactic year (527 days)

25.308 earth hours in a galactic day

1.265 earth hours in a galactic hour

1.518464526 earth minutes in a galactic minute

0.911078717 earth seconds in a galactic second