Author's note: My apologies on taking so long to update this between chapters. The muse is fickle and doesn't always agree with where I'm trying to take this. On the bright side, it's supposed to wrap with the Glitter and Gold contest so... yeah... it's not going to be too much longer, it will just take time to ensure everything happens the way I wish it to.

Thanks for your patience guys!

Part 10

Neither Jerrica nor Rio slept that night.

Her impromptu visit to his home might have cleared the air on a number of matters that had lain between them for too long, but Jerrica knew she was hoping for miracles if she believed it had changed things back to the way they'd been. Rio was polite but distant, having withdrawn into himself in a protective gesture that she understood even as it dismayed her.

Their discussion had helped her understand

With Synergy's help, she disguised her clothing into a running outfit, and she and Rio headed for the Mansion just after the sun had risen. They arrived before the house began to stir and Rio went to collect the van as Jerrica headed for her room to shower and change. No one knew she'd spent the night with Rio - an event that would be no doubt misconstrued no matter how she explained it - and they intended to keep it that way.

Organized chaos erupted not long after she stepped out of the shower, with the Starlight girls begging and pleading with Kimber and Shana to allow them to come to the shoot. Using Synergy and a few light cosmetics to cover her exhaustion, Jerrica had needed to veto the field trip; they could, she promised instead, view the music video before anyone else.

As consolation prizes, the girls knew they could do worse and enthusiastically dispersed.

The first day of shooting went off without a hitch... which was saying a lot when Rio went out of his way to spend as little time as possible with the band. He organized, checked and rechecked the sound equipment, ordered the extras around like a general and generally kept things moving so smoothly, despite his lack of interaction with Jem and the Holograms that the peripherals of the set ran like well maintained clockwork.

Jem for her part, focused on perfection - personal and professional.

She gave it.

Demanded it.

Expected it.

For all she hadn't slept the night before, Jem's focus was unshakable - and, as a result, shooting took half the time it should have.

With two days of shooting scheduled, the first day was finished just after noon with solid footage on the reels to be cut and edited into the music video that would eventually be distributed as a part of the album's release. If shooting on location the following day went as quickly and as smoothly, despite the tension between the star and her manager, the video would be cut together in no time.

Through the morning, Rio had watched Jem perform for the camera, his gut twisting with an emotion he couldn't put a name to. Now, more than ever, he understood his fascination with Jem and, despite everything that had happened, he still found her - Jerrica - mesmerizing. Apparently explaining the fascination didn't diminish it and, for the first time since this whole situation had turned into his own personal nightmare, grudging respect for everything she'd accomplished, despite her fears, filtered through the hurt.

He hadn't expected her visit last night and her presence in his house had simply ensured his sleepless night had stayed that way. Regardless, it had been their discussion that continued to dog him even now. Images of the past tended to creep up at inopportune times - like when Jem flashed a smile towards the camera that was brilliant and almost teasing. Yet, Rio could tell, even if no one else could, the brittle edge that smile held and how it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Watching Jem, and now irrevocably knowing she was Jerrica, he caught the mannerisms he should have seen from the start. Things he never should have told himself he was seeing because he wanted to see them; things he should have trusted because his instincts had been right.

But then, he'd never believed Jerrica capable of that kind of deception - at least not with him.

It didn't stop him from watching her while she was occupied on the shoot, singing along with the track he'd helped them cut just yesterday, in fact it only made Jem more alluring knowing what he knew now. His sweet, shy Jerrica had faced her fears to save a dozen girls, putting her own life as good as on hold to play the part of a genuine role model.

He'd turned away before she could see him watching her more times that he could count that morning, glad that they'd finished early so he could have his afternoon to himself.

Unlike Jem and the Holograms, who would be heading to fittings, Rio had to check on the album's production, the numbers, and the progress since Jerrica had promised delivery on such a tight time frame. The professionalism, despite the coolness, at the studio and on the set was working in their favor.

Leaving Jem to the Holograms, Rio did a quick check with the set director to ensure the tear down would go smoothly, before taking himself off to Starlight Music's headquarters. Once there, he went directly for the packing room to check on the status of the delivery that would need to take place inside the next seventy two hours if they hoped to meet the deadline.

From the packing center he headed for the bowels of the building - and nearly plowed Jerrica over as she was coming out of a storage room.

"Woah - watch it!'

Off balance, she reached for him even as he reacted instinctively to catch her, the end result was that she was in his arms, tucked close to his chest, Rio having spun to use the wall for support. Time seemed to stop for a heartbeat as she lifted her head, her eyes wide, and their gazes locked. Plastered against his chest, his arms about her in a protective hug, her breath hitched and stalled in her lungs.

This close there was no denying the strain both of them were under - or that it would eventually snap; the question was simply when and where.

With effort, Rio straightened and time seemed to resume, carefully peeling his hands away from their natural resting place and desperately trying to ignore just how good it had felt to hold her again. Circumstances aside, he struggled to let her go even as he was putting her back on her feet.

The rightness of her in his arms hadn't changed and it was unsettling.

Ignoring all of that, he looked at her critically. After he'd left the stage, he'd thought the band had other appointments. His question was civil and not unkind. "I thought you had fittings to attend."

"Jem is easy to outfit," Jerrica returned, her voice not quite steady, her gaze shifting away uncomfortably. "Shana designs and makes all our costumes so I can always do it later."

"Convenient - being the same size and all."

"Yeah; convenient." Her lips twisted, not quite making it into a smile. "Sorry I got in your way, I'll just-"

"Were you looking for something?"

Jerrica's gaze flew back to his at question before darting away again. "No, just... reminiscing. I'll s-see you later." With no more courtesy than that, Jerrica turned and fled, darting up the stairs behind him.

Rio let her go before slumping back against the wall he'd been using for support and rubbing both hands over his face, still trying to banish the feel of her from them. He should have let her fall, should have made no move to catch her - except it wasn't in him to do so. He'd never liked watching her hurt and while he couldn't yet ford the emotional rift between them, it went against his nature to let her fall if he could save her.

Which bespoke the true root of his problem; despite her deception and lies, he still cared for her - still... still loved her.

There, he thought peevishly, turning to the storage room she'd come from. I admit it; the reason this is so hard is because I still love her - because I'll probably always love her... deception or not.

But, if that was the case, what kind of man did that make him? He'd grown up with deceptions, lies and half-truths; surrounded by promises that were always broken. He'd learned early that he never wanted to be someone who disappointed other people - or tolerated it in others.

Could anything good come of it even if he could do it? Could he choose to live like that again? Go back to living with the lies and deceptions even if the reason was to help people? Could any good really come from this in the long run? Could he actively live with himself if he went against everything he'd believed for so long simply because he loved Jerrica?

And what happens when it ends, when she's unmasked - because she will be unmasked eventually.

It was a good question and one he didn't have answers to.

Shaking away the uneasiness, he stepped into the storage room, looking around as he did. Several boxes had been disturbed, the dust on the table showing where Jerrica had placed them. Foregoing the stool she'd have needed, he lifted the first box down and peaked inside.

Pictures; proofs of company advertizing materials - almost all of them featuring her father. Reminiscing? He was about to put the box back when a carefully wrapped something in the corner nearest to him caught his eye. Placing the box on the table, he opened it up further and pulled the wrapped frame - for upon touching it there was no doubt what it could be - and flipped it over.

The cloth covering it fell away and Rio froze, his own likeness staring back at him. It was an image of Jerrica's father, Jerrica and himself, the old man having his arms around them both and smiling. He and Jerrica looked amused, but tolerant, their arms around the senior Benton and - what the camera hadn't captured - their hands intertwined on his back. No doubt part of the reason Mr. Benton had looked so happy.

Reminiscing.

Right.

Re-wrapping the photograph, he put it back before replacing the box on the shelf. He took down the next one and then the next one, opening each one in turn and finding other mementos of Jerrica's father and them. Mostly old photographs; a few news releases, the high school graduation photos of he and she and a shot of the Bentons upon the grand opening of the first Starlight house.

Jerrica was nothing more than a blonde imp of maybe two years old - and it made him smile, reaching out to touch the photograph before he realized what he was doing. Once upon a time, before Mr. Benton had passed away, they'd been teased about how their own little girl would undoubtedly look like her mother. And even now Rio, heaven help him, had no trouble picturing Jerrica with said little girl in her arms standing next to him.

No matter how unlikely it seemed at that moment.

Shaking away the unwelcome mental image, he repacked the boxes and replaced them, sinking to the nearby stool while staring blankly at the wall. Their pasts were so intertwined it was hard to see a future without her; and hard to understand how she'd kept her secret for so long. Unbidden, Synergy's question from Jem's unveiling popped into his mind.

Did she deceive you because you were too blind to see the truth or because you wished to be deceived?

For the first time he considered the query, really considered it as he hadn't before.

Had she?

He'd suspected initially because he'd never seen Jerrica and Jem in the same places, but it had been a half formed notion and one he'd almost immediately dismissed outright because he'd trusted Jerrica. Initially he'd had trouble reconciling the fact he was drawn to two such different women - and they to him - in such eerily similar fashions. Only now did he realize he must have been picking up on the subtle hints the real Jerrica had been sending his way.

He should have realized it for himself; trusted his own conclusions - but he hadn't; because Jerrica had Synergy and Synergy tipped the scales against him. Still, the signs had all been there for him to see and he hadn't believed his own senses. So what did that make him exactly?

A trusting fool.

Yes, he conceded to himself, it does; but with good reason.

Bracing his elbows on his knees he tilted his head back to look at the ceiling without seeing it.

Jerrica knew of his past; she'd been through parts of it with him. She'd been aware of his aversion to lies and deception - his inability to tolerate them. She'd been aware; and she'd done it anyway, no matter what was supposed to have been. She'd done it, continued to be with him - in both guises - deliberately disregarding his beliefs.

Yet, she'd done it for a dozen good reasons; unbidden, the faces of the girls at the Starlight foundation rose to mind. With a soft groan, Rio rubbed his hands over his face again and attempted to banish the images - but they wouldn't leave. Here, in the dusty storage room, he was forced to ask himself a difficult question - and seek an answer.

What would have happened to those twelve beautiful girls if Jerrica hadn't stepped up to become Jem? The brutal truth, much as he didn't want to acknowledge it?

Eric Raymond would have dissolved Starlight house, banishing those girls to other foster homes and separating them likely for good. The money for Starlight house would have then been allocated back into the company for the Misfits and Eric Raymond's pockets.

And Jerrica?

He exhaled heavily, unable to see anything but the truth - for all her deceptions, Jerrica was fundamentally still the same girl he'd grown up with. The dissolution of her home and its purpose - a purpose she'd lived - would have killed her. Knowing that, how could he truly hold being Jem against her?

How could he not?

At some point, since her revelation, deceptions had ceased being as black and white as he'd always believed and become a scale of grays he couldn't see through. "This is all so convoluted," he muttered softly to himself.

Yes, he still loved her - but how could he honestly be with her knowing what he knew; knowing she hadn't trusted him? At least, not completely.

Little things were filtering in now that his anger and hurt had settled somewhat; like how Jerrica had begged him to be Jem's road manager even after he'd tried to beg off. She hadn't told him the whole truth, but she'd turned to him as she had been for a long time, counting on him in ways few other people did. That alone had been a leap of faith; her way of showing she did trust him with something far more precious than her identity.

And he'd blown it.

With a wince, Rio realized that Jerrica's concerns about his attractions to Jem had been valid; more than valid. He couldn't really blame her for exiling Jem to a memory for the few weeks before the Glitter and Gold competition had played a part in her resurrection. If he'd been in her position, believing another man had captured her attention, he might have done the same thing.

Except he hadn't.

And the crux of it was, he had been in her position and he felt compelled, vindicated even, to cast stones at her.

"God, what a mess."

Pushing to his feet, he couldn't help the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that came with the self-realization. Jerrica had lied to him, yes, but he'd lied to her too; in two separate guises - all for his own gain. For someone who hated lies as much as he did, the realization it made him a hypocrite, just as he'd been accused of being, almost made him sick to his stomach.

He owed her an apology for his behavior over the last year and his own deception; an apology he couldn't yet bring himself to make because he couldn't yet forgive hers.

I'm an idiot, he lamented, putting everything back where he'd found it before turning to the door. But knowing it didn't stem the pain of her betrayal or alleviate it. How could it? For all they'd lied to each other, he'd been blindsided by her admission where she'd known about his from day one. It didn't make it right, but it did tip the scales in her favor.

Why didn't she call me on it?

Even as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer; because she'd intended to tell him from the start. By the time she'd been forced to continue the charade and, at Synergy's insistence, keep her identity from him, the ground work had already been laid. Jem, because she was Jerrica, couldn't turn away from him – even if he'd been inclined to let her try.

And, once established, there'd been no going back.

But where, he wondered silently, would that leave them? For no matter how draw he was to Jerrica regardless of who she pretended to be, he couldn't continue pursuing both women - even if they were the same one. It had already been commented upon, magazines and talk shows had speculated since Jem's arrival about his relationship with both women.

Would it only get worse now that he couldn't consciously separate the two? For he'd realized just that morning while watching Jerrica masquerade as Jem that he could no longer think of them as separate women. Different side of his woman, yes, but not separate entities.

As he headed for the stairs, still struggling to come to some kind of personal resolution, to accept the situation, Rio realized something else. A mess didn't begin to cover what was happening between he and Jerrica.

But it was a good place to start.