Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been super-busy and I've been working on a challenge for it's_always_been over on LiveJournal.
As usual, I don't own anything. I did, however, buy a new Iron Man shirt the other day. It's an Extremis shirt! My favorite Iron Man topic! If you don't know what Extremis is, please, look it up. It's amazing.
Hot
He stumbles again, this time falling face-first into the scorching sand. Judging by the position of the sun in the sky, it's about noon in the desert of Afghanistan; not a very pleasant place to be.
One of the few people who has genuinely cared about him in a long time has just been killed. He has been kidnapped and tortured and pushed far past the limits he previously held for himself. And to top it all off, the only thing keeping him alive is a ridiculously complicated piece of technology installed directly into his chest.
But for some reason, all he can think about is her.
Maybe he's delusional. Maybe he's not. But he does know one thing: he's in love with Pepper.
The realization, the realization that he loves her, hits him like a bucket of cold water. Basking in the bright light of this awareness, he feels like he can finally see clearly.
When he told Yinsen that he had no one, he was wrong. He has her, and he has always had her. For over eight years, she stayed and he knew it wasn't just for the pay. He had put her through hell, yet she still remained by his side. He wishes that he could have been there for her, just like she is always there for him. Pepper has cleaned up thousands of his messes, but he has never been there to reciprocate. And though it is her job, that's no excuse.
That's the kind of man he's become: one who is strong enough not to have to hide behind excuses. Three months in a cave gives you a lot of time to sort out your life. Three months was all it took for Tony Stark to realize what a selfish, uncaring man he was, and recognize that he wanted and had to change.
He promises to himself that if he lives, if he makes it to see her breathtaking face again, he will make it up to her. He will be the man that she needs and deserves, not just a heartless, self-centered jerk. Even if it takes the rest of his life, he will prove to her that he has changed and that he wants to be with her.
He will later say that he had his eyes opened while he was here. Of course, he is referring to the fraudulent distribution of his weapons, but the statement applies to many other things. Without even realizing it, he has spent the past few months thinking about her, worrying if she's okay, hoping she's not overwhelming herself with work. Somehow, all of his thoughts come back to her.
Tony can't remember exactly what love feels like, but he knows that he has never felt this way before.
The sand is blistering hot, burning his feet as he walks, but he barely notices.