So some crazy shit went down, and it seems like everyone hates me for some reason. I wonder why, since I have almost killed off Cain and have had all this bad shit happen to him. Hmm... I regret nothing!
Cain: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Stand a little taller!
Owain: No! We need a better song for this situation.
LucarioKid: Car Crash, Three Days Grace. Mic drop! Also, was listening to that song and playing as Robin (The best character in Batman Arkham City) and doing all the Riddler fights and kicking ass! It was epic! Now then, I won't waste anymore time. If you all hate me, then please say it to my face. The silence is weird since the first couple of chapters everyone was super chatty and it was awesome. Now, it's as dead as my soul. Hehe... I'm serious.
So this is pretty short, but is more setting up the Epilogue and some events that are to come more than anything. So ya, don't hate too hard, or I may laugh a shit ton. I'm already laughing now. So, ya. Good stuff, right? Anywho, read and judge as you do!
Cain was about to let the blade drop, allow it to end him. The suffering, the loneliness, the silence. God how he had hated that.
"Please fight! For me!" Cain clenched his jaw. He knew the voice, but didn't know what to do. On one hand, he could die, and finally attain peace. On the other, he could live, but he would have to live with everything that had happened that night. He closed his eyes, biting hard enough to where he heard a molar crack under the pressure. After what felt like years he made up his mind.
He took his cross, digging it into the heel of Amelia. He pulled, the Vampire bitch falling to the ground, the sword missing his head. He rolled away, struggling to a knee. His head was down and he coughed up large globs of blood. He wiped his mouth with his right sleeve, his left on the ground to keep him steady. Amelia rushed him, trying to stab his head.
Cain pulled his head up, catching the blade in his teeth. He threw the blade, Amelia with it away from him. He slowly stood, leaned over. Amelia tried for a slash at his neck. He caught the blade, feeling his blood trickle down his hand and arm. He looked up at Amelia, and she flinched. His eyes weren't red anymore. They were silver with red swirls moving through them.
"Ready for the final round." He pushed her back, standing straight up, cracking his neck and shoulders. He let out a slow breath.
"I may not want to have to live through this Hell anymore, but someone needs me, and I can't just leave them now can I? So in other words, I'm about to take your bitch ass downtown. Cain style!" He focused his energy to making an exact copy of his cross in his right hand, though this one silver and similar to the powers or Kita. Amelia was terrified now.
"Don't you know? Every Vampire gets their own special power once they age. Mine is to become whatever I want. Even Bo Bo the Clown." To prove this he pinched his nose, a honking noise coming out.
"Fun, ya?" Amelia readied her blade in her right, her parasol in her left. Cain held both crossed backwards in his hands. He placed his left foot forward, large grin working onto his face.
"You're gonna like this one." He warped forward, digging both crosses into her shoulders, twisting and throwing her over his head. She slammed onto the metal and dented it. She stood quickly, rushing him. Cain suddenly had a metal helmet with horns appear on his head.
"Fus Ro Dah!" A blue burst of energy came out of his mouth, launching her away. Then a strange song with a choir started to sing from nowhere.
"I am DovahCain! Suck it bitch!" The hat disappeared, a red bandanna appearing on his head.
"Hadoken!" Blue fire shot from his hands, slamming into her. She was launched back, but before she could hit the ground Cain was below her, his right fight pulled back.
"Shoryuken!" She was launched higher into the air, the bandanna dispersing. A metal gas mask appeared over Cain's face, red eyes glaring forward. A large gun attached to the ground appeared in front of Cain.
"I'm finished with you! For the Helghast!" He fired missiles at her, blowing her back into the air. Cain pointed at nothing, the chuckled.
"This is for you, LucarioKid!" Large blue ears appeared on his head, a tail and black appendices on the back of his head. He placed his hands to his chest.
"Aura Sphere!" A sphere of... you get it... launched at her and striking her. Cain the got surrounded by a white sphere, a strange symbol appearing on it as it burst open, showing Cain, but the ears and appendices were larger, and the tail bushy.
"You CainCario evolved into, Mega CainCario!" He planted his fist into the ground, a swarm of aura around his arm. He rushed forward, upper cutting her and a tornado of Aura picking her up and launching her into the air. Cain swiped his hand up, six spike of Aura launching forward and stabbing her higher into the air with small explosions on impact.
As she started to fall, Cain placed his hands to his chest, a bright light forming. Right before she hit the ground Cain let out a large beam of Aura, the entire area around them turning white. When it cleared she was w=on the ground, large burns all over her body. Cain made the appendices disperse, walking towards her.
She got to her knees, scowling at him.
"Who are you going to use to kill me, Cain? Scorpion? Bowser? Grima?" Cain shook his head. A large silver revolver formed in his right hand and a his cowboy hat returning to his head.
"Myself. Tell your whore sister I said hi." He fired, the bullet striking her hip, shattering it, then ricocheting to her shoulder and shattering that. The bullet then moved through her neck, striking her jaw and shattering all the bones located there. Amelia recoiled back, then looked up as blood leaked from her jaw.
"You're full of shit." Cain was about to argue when he thought about what he just did.
"Can't prove shit!" He shot her in the head, her skull and brains splattering against the metal of the Zeppelin. Cain blinked a few times, then looked up and clasped his hands together.
"Thank you Erron Black!" He sniffed in, looking around.
"Something's burning." The ground below him exploded, launching him into the air.
"Well, can't get much worse than this. Then he noticed a tank flying past him and above him.
"Goddammit." It fell, crushing him under it. Only Cain's head wasn't under the tank. He then saw large amounts of bombs falling towards him.
"Fuck you, Physics!" They blew him up, the Vampire piecing himself together. He looked himself over, seeing everything was in order.
"Whoo-" A large sheet of metal fell on him. Followed by the rest of the Zeppelin.
"Was this your doing, Andy!?" No one answered, but Cain was sure the priest was laughing from heaven.
"Fuck you!" Cain was stuck though, unable to get out. Then he heard footsteps walking towards him.
"Hang on, moron." The weight was lessened and Cain was able to wiggle out, only seeing the feet of the person who saved him. He saw black baggy pants but nothing else. Except the black longsword on the man's belt, black shadows writhing on it.
"You ok?" Cain looked up, seeing a black coat that came to the man's knees, silver buckles and markings on it. The man had black fingerless gloves, and a necklace that had a cross on it dangling haphazardly.
"Totally. Who are you?"
"You know me." Cain looked up, seeing none other than his friend.
"Travis!" He hugged the man, Travis shaking his head a giving a one handed pat back.
"Wait! Why are you here? Usually you just watch and don't intervene." Travis shrugged, pointing to the metal sheet, bored expression on his face.
"You'd be stuck down there forever and a day, and the readers would hate that, so I freed you. Also, get your bags packed." Cain cocked his head.
"For what?" He got flicked in the forehead.
"The road trip you invited me and Owain on, twit!" Cain smiled and pointed at the sage.
"You remembered! Yay!"
"Yes, now hurry up so I can finish this story and we can go. Which means go!" The man pulled out a black book that had a red draconic D insignia on it. In a red flash he was gone. Cain waved at the air.
"Bye have a great time!" He stood, walking away from the Zeppelin. He wanted to go home and bug someone. Once she healed.
"Dammit, Cain!"
"What!?"
"I'm injured and you really have to do this!?" Cain poked the broken leg that Niles was sporting, the young man letting out a shout.
"I'll murder your family!" Cain leaned close, whispering in his ear.
"Good luck with that son." Niles merely leaned back closer.
"Kill yourself."
"You first!"
"Why don't you go bug Kita!?"
"She was hurt way more than you. Duh!" There was a cough behind them, showing Integra. She motioned Cain towards her. Cain walked forward, saluting. She walked away, Cain following.
"Soooooo?" Integra said nothing, just stopping in front of a door.
"Don't be hyper." Cain nodded, slowly entering the hospital room. It was mostly dark, except the silver wisps floating about calmly. Cain walked through them, stopping at the bed. Kita was sleeping quietly. She looked much better than she had a week ago, but she had been asleep the whole time. They had wanted to make sure she was stable before letting anyone visit her.
Apparently she had been conscious, but very briefly and was very confused. Cain found a chair, silently moving it over. Then he chuckled.
"Isn't the guy supposed to be the one half dead in the bed? Or are we trying not to be cliché?"
"Why are you asking me?" She opened her eyes. Cain didn't know what to do. He wanted to hug her close and be happy, but wasn't sure. Kita raised an eyebrow.
"Now crazy antics?"
"Integra said to not to." Kita gave a, "Really, bro?" face.
"Since when have you listened to her orders?" Oh ya.
"Fuck ya! Fuck the police! Whoo! Fucked the Nazis and used my powers of Wall Breaking like boss! Suck it Travis! Uh!" He gestured to his crotch, a black and red flash behind him. Travis walked forward, slapping Cain with his book before warping away.
"Oh, that wasn't very nice." A purple portal opened on the opposite wall, Travis poking his head in.
"Dude, you told me to 'suck it'. You're not nice. And I'm busy." As he said that a demon grabbed him, dragging him back in. There was a shriek before he stepped out, closing the portal behind him.
"Being Seneschal sucks. Especially when you're both Avatar and Seneschal." Cain nodded, understanding his friends trouble.
"Sounds rough." There was a flash in Travis' eyes and he growled.
"Dammit, more demons. I'll be back!" As he jumped out the window, Cain called after him, "Nice Arnold impersonation!"
"Get to the chopper!" Cain chuckled, walking back and sitting next to Kita.
"What now?" She smiled at him, about to speak when Owain burst through the door, his right hand twitching.
"My Sword Hand Hungers! Travis! I summon thee to help me fight demons!" Travis got launched through a wall, rolling to his feet and drawing his shadow sword, Epilogue.
"Help me, Owain! The demons are everywhere! We must vanquish them!" Owain drew his kitana, Missiletainn.
"I have your back, Noble Author!" As they made ready their battle cries, Cain shouted at them. They turned, even the demon that was entering stopped.
"We're trying to have a moment in our sequel thing, and you guys are botching it up! Split before I split you!" Travis nodded, tackling the demon through a portal, Owain slowly following, ranting about his sword hand.
"Don't you want to go on a trip with those two?" Cain nodded excitedly.
"But I have some things I need to do first." He leaned towards Kita, the Cressen doing the same.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" They turned to see Travis, Owain and the demon chanting for him from another portal. Cain didn't know how to respond, when the room went cold. Kita glared at them, blades aimed at them.
"Leave or I'll gut you all!" Travis and Owain held the demon head forward, closing the portal so the head was cut off, then was opened briefly as they grabbed the head.
"Twenty demon heads!" Was all they heard before the portal closed.
"Morons. Where were we?" Cain gave a 'regal' face.
"I was about to get all cliché happy ending on you." She sighed then laughed.
"Then do it before your friends come back." Cain did, kissing that Cressen right on the mouth, using his Vampiric tongue to... well, I'm sure you all know what happens when people who want to fuck the red out of each other's eyes kiss passionately. It's... Lively... And I say that as I am slaying demons with Owain and watching from a portal. Aaaand they're on her bed about to-there they go! Who knew Cain could use his time manipulation to take off clothes that fast.
Damn! This is good stuff. Good thing I got a camera. Owain! Take notes for Severa!
"Got it!" Well, this is good blackmail... Actually, Cain would probably sell this shit on the internet for money. Fuck! Owain, you can keep the sex tape.
"I'd rather not. I don't want Severa to end my life in horrible way, then hate sex me forever. She's mean already." Well, that sucks. Single right here, baby! Anywho, this is Travis here, or LucarioKid, take your pic. Make sure you say how much you fucking hate this ending because I decided that an normal ending is the most retarded thing that could ever be done.
So keep calm, slay demons, get ready for our badass road trip that will start this summer (Unless my parents decide to ground me for mean parent reasons... My fucking life) and MAY THE AURA BE WITH YOU!
That ending was a thing... Wait a fuck toasting minute! Why am I doing an author's notes thing, when I fucking did that three seconds ago!?
Owain: Force of habit?
Travis: Apparently. So, there will be one more chapter, and it will not suck as much dong as this one. Well... it'll suck dong, but not a ton. Everything sucks at least a small amount of dong.
Owain: Such is life.
Travis: Yup. And Cain isn't here right now since him and Kita are... busy?
Owain: Really?
Travis: Fine! They're fucking so hard that Satan in Hell can hear them like he has noise canceling head phones on, and they're turned up all the way! Seriously! It's like two crazy cat-demon, sex gods who are drunk, high, and horny and going at it all the time! And she moved in and we all live in the same apartment!
Owain: Well, I moved in with Severa.
Travis: And the same fucking thing happens over there!
Owain: ... Are you jealous?
Travis: No! I just want to fucking and sleep and not hear fucking while I'm trying! Is that too much to ask!?
Owain: Apparently. You could just ask him to be quiet you know.
Travis: I'm not about to be that guy. You know what, we'll talk about this off camera typing thing! Ok?
Owain: Yes, Sir!
Travis: *Draws Epilogue* Now let's go slay demons!
Owain: *Draws Missiletainn* Hell ya!
Travis: Keep calm and may the Aura be with you all!
Cain: ... Hey guys.
Travis: What the fuck? You stopped fucking?
Owain: And Hell has officially frozen over.
Cain: Well, something came up.
Travis: What could possibly stop you two from banging each other's brains out of your skulls?
Cain: She's got a bun in the oven
Travis: ...
Owain: ...
Cain: ... So... You're Uncles!
Travis: ... Fuck Shit Cunt!