Zoe had momentarily given up on getting out of her restraints and was resting…damn, she was tired…when the door opened and a grim-looking Moby walked in.

"Moby! Hey, hot stuff."

Moby made no reply as he walked over to the bed. He rested his hand on the rail near where her wrist was tethered. He almost took hold of her hand, but then his hand twitched and stiffened, and he took hold of the rail instead.

"Moby?"

Still more silence, his jaw tight.

"Are you going to say something, or did you come in here just to glare at me?"

"Why, Zoe? Can you answer me that?"

"Why what?"

He gestured to the arm that was bandaged nearly to her elbow.

"I don't know. You'll have to ask the patch of black ice that I slipped on."

"Oh come on, Zo. Really now."

"You think I…jeez, your worse than that ass doctor. Get out."

"Zoe, if I'm to convince them to release you into my care, I need to know the truth."

"Truth? You want the truth? The truth is, if I ever decide to kill myself, there won't be anyone around to rescue me. Now, I've TOLD you the truth. And here's another little bit of truth for you to chew on. I'll rot in here before I'm going anywhere with you. Get. The Hell. Out."

"You are IMPOSSIBLE, woman."

Zoe just closed her eyes and didn't respond. She sighed—she wasn't sure if it was with relief or frustration—as Moby stomped out. She thought about trying to get her wrists out of the restraints again, but the visit from Moby had further exhausted her. She would just rest another moment or two and then figure out what was next.

Then, the door started opening again.

"When I told you to get the hell out, I meant to stay out."

Zoe didn't even turn her head towards the door, figuring Moby was back for round two.

"I'll remember that if you tell me to get out."

"Brodi!"

"Hey, kiddo. What's up?"

"I might be telling you to get out. I'm too tired to argue."

"That's fair. But I'm not here to argue," he stated as he leaned forward, resting his arms on the bed rail. "Just here to see how a friend is doing."

"No lectures?"

"No lectures."

Zoe sighed, with relief this time, and closed her eyes. "Then you can stay if you like." She was silent for a moment, then opened her eyes and looked back at her friend. "I suppose you saw Moby."

Brodi nodded. "He's worried."

"No one will listen to me."

"Well," he said softly as he undid the tether closest to him, "I'm all ears. Will I do?"

Zoe watched, astonished, as he undid the other restraint, then put the rail down and sat beside her holding her hand.

"You aren't afraid I'm going to hurt myself?"

"Should I be?"

"Not fair to answer a question with a question."

Brodi chuckled and nodded.

"Then how about this. I figure that, 1, I would talk to you first and find out what really happened before assuming anything, and 2, you wouldn't have let me help you if you didn't want help."

Zoe nodded and closed her eyes as she let Brodi massage her hand. "Finally someone with half a brain."

"So how about it?"

Zoe opened her eyes. "How about what?

"What happened? You said no one would listen to you. I'm here. I'll listen. And I promise I won't just tell you to go meditate," Brodi hesitated a moment to wink at her, "grasshopper."

Zoe laughed in spite of herself.

"You've got to believe me, Zen. I did NOT attempt suicide."

"I believe you."

"But I did do something stupid. Ever have something so bad happen, you completely numb out? But then you hate the numb so much, you'd do anything to feel something?"

Brodi closed is eyes and nodded. He knew he wasn't going to like where this was going, and he didn't trust his voice to speak.

"So yeah, I guess I'm telling you that I'm a cutter. Used to be, anyway. Usually barely more than scratches; nothing horrendous, nothing terribly noticeable. When I started boarding, it tapered off so much that I actually stopped. Life has been working. I push myself enough on the slopes, I get all the rush I need."

"So what changed?"

Zoe pushed herself up so she was sitting facing Brodi. She still felt like a child sitting next to him, because of the size difference, but she knew she was safe with him.

"The leg twitching and locking up. It started about a week ago. After I got an invitation to a cousin's wedding. Officiated by my older sister's husband."

"Your brother-in-law is a minister?"

"My sister's husband is a minister." Zoe spat. "He's nothing to me."

"OK. I'm sorry. Your sister's husband. Go on."

Zoe closed her eyes again, remaining silent for so long that Brodi was afraid he had angered her into silence. He let the silence draw out a moment longer, then touched her arm gently.

"Zo…."

"My mother took on a second job. On the days when I took gymnastics, my sister's husband would pick me up. But he wouldn't take me straight home."

Brodi didn't know what to say, but he knew what was coming, so he just squeezed her noninjured hand. "I'm still here. Go on."

"He, ah…he did things that you just shouldn't do to a 12 year old girl. And he told me…he told me that God would forgive me for tempting him."

"God, honey, I'm so sorry."

"It happened once more. After that I refused to go to gymnastics class. I'd taken classes since preschool. I was good. My mom and sister wouldn't believe me, so I gave it up."

Brodi moved closer to her and took her into his arms. She let herself be held for a moment, then pulled back.

"Did the street preacher today…"

"I said a polite "no thank you" at first. Then I told him to buzz off. I only decked him after he told me that God would forgive me. I don't think I even made a conscious connection to it. I just snapped. Decked him and ran. Took a walk, bought a straight razor. Except I slipped on the ice while I was cutting, and it went a lot deeper, and a lot longer, than I intended. I barely made it back to the lodge. Brodi, you saved my life. But I can promise you, it was just an accident. You have to believe me."

Brodi leaned forward and hugged Zoe, kissing her cheek as he pulled away.

"I do believe you. And I'll talk to Dr. Michaels. If he won't release you on your own, maybe I can convince him…"

"I'm not going ANYWHERE with Moby."

"that I can keep an eye on you. Don't worry…I doubt he'll release you to Moby once he finds out he's only 19."

**********

Author's note: I really do know someone that had something similar happen...brother-in-law who was a minister, who was told "God will forgive you for tempting me." This friend had a trill in her voice when she sang that she couldn't get rid of...a body memory. I'm trying to approach it this way with Zoe.