Hey everyone…it's just been a bad week. I won't go into detail, but I'd greatly appreciate it if you shot a prayer up to the big man or do whatever it is in your religion for people in my situation. :) OHHH and I FRICKIN HATE WINDOWS 8! When I was writing, Word froze and lost the entire chapter! I had to start ALL OVER! I was pissed…still am. *raaaaage* Ahem…okay so with that being said, welcome to Chapter 10! Woot woot! :D Let's see how the gang is holding up…

Madness

Chapter 10: Time

Mikey sat in the pit, messing with the bandages on his hands. They had just gotten back from yet another failed search for their brother. It had been two weeks since they had last seen Leonardo, and it was taking its toll. He was seeing it change his family, and himself. He no longer had the desire to pull pranks on his brothers or crack jokes. He had tried early on in an attempt to cheer everyone up, but it back fired. Mikey reached up and rubbed the bandage on his arm. Raph wasn't amused. He hadn't meant to hurt Mikey, but he couldn't control himself, and Mikey understood that. He was wound up tighter than usual, so it didn't take much for him to snap. Mikey looked over at his older brother as he punched out his frustrations. Sweat was dripping down his face, and his knuckles were beginning to bleed. Raph paused and looked at his younger brother, maintaining his hard expression. Mikey sighed and looked down at the ground. Normally, this would be the time Splinter would come in and give them advice, but normalcy was long gone. They hadn't seen much of their sensei lately. He spent most of his time in his room meditating, and they had stopped training altogether. Mikey wasn't even sure if his father was eating. Then he heard a shock noise come from the lab, followed by a tight string of Japanese.

Donnie was a whole other story. He stayed in his lab, working himself into the ground. He hardly ever slept; and when he did, it was at his desk in a pile of papers. Mikey didn't even know what he was working on, but it didn't really matter. If it kept Donnie busy and sane, he would let him do it. He just wished that Donnie would at least take a break and spend time with him. Donnie hardly ever talked to anyone; and when he did, it was about Leo.

His family was drifting apart. There was no break in their suffering, and he couldn't find a way to make one, no matter how hard he tried. Without Leo to help them stick together, they were falling apart. Mikey wished that his brother would return soon because if he didn't, he would lose two more.

Leo woke up and rubbed his eyes. "Mornin'." Good morning, Leonardo. Sleep well? Leo reached his arms up to the ceiling, and a deep yawn escaped from his lips. I will take that as a yes. The bed frame squealed as he brought his feet to the floor. The abandoned apartment he had been living in for the past few weeks wasn't much, but it served its purpose. It was far enough away so that his brothers couldn't find him, but it was close enough that he could go in and keep an eye on things. He had made sure that he was the one in control while they were finding a place to live. He thought that he couldn't handle more innocent blood on his hands, no matter how much V deemed it necessary. They were working together now, but he was doing his best to make sure he was the one on top. He was able to do it too, most of the time. V told him the day after he found the apartment that he had killed another person. Another innocent life lost by his hand. However, he wasn't as troubled by it as he should have been. This disturbed Leo to his core, but then again it didn't. He couldn't find the words to explain this to V or himself, but Leo knew just what to do when he felt this way. He rose from his bed and stretched his legs. "I'm going to do my morning meditation. I'll be done in about an hour, V." Alright, Leonardo. We will start our training shortly after. "Sure." Leo sat on the floor and lit a candle. He had recently discovered that while meditating, he was alone. V couldn't touch him there, and it was perfect. It allowed him to escape this madness of a life and think for himself. He didn't have to second guess anything he thought, saw, or felt because here he was truly himself. Leo took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and drifted away welcoming the silence.

Mikey continued to lay on the pit's bench and stared up at the ceiling. Raph had finally decided to take a break from the punching bag, mostly because he noticed the red fist prints that were starting to appear. Now, he was sitting on the bean bag not far from Mikey feeding Spike a strawberry. They both shot up when they heard an explosion come from Donnie's lab. He emerged from the smoke pillowing out from the lab doors. The ends of his mask were singed, and he was coughing profusely. Donnie walked over and sat next to Mikey muttering to himself. Mikey reached out to his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dude…what happened?" Donnie huffed and crossed his arms. "The stupid wiring doesn't want to work with me. It either shocks the shell out of me or explodes in my face! Why is it always my face?!" Mikey chuckled to himself and asked "What is it anyways?" Donnie looked at his little brother and raised one end of his mask. "Why do you want to know?" A small smile escaped on Mikey's face as he started to twiddle his thumbs. "I thought that…maybe it's a-" Donnie raised his hand before his brother could continue. "If you say rocket powered skateboard, I'm gonna explode." Mikey's face dropped, and he looked down at the floor. Donnie sighed and put a hand on his little brother's shell. "But…I am working on a way to find Leo." That caught Raph's attention. He got up and joined his brother's on the bench while placing Spike on his shoulder and asked "How?" as he continued to feed Spike. Donnie looked over at his brother, and he couldn't help but smile a little. It was hard to take Raph seriously when he had Spike on his shoulder, especially while feeding him a strawberry. "Remember when we put that sonar system up around town?" Mikey and Raph nodded. "Well, I have been working on how to expand their range as far as I can across the city. That's why I keep on shocking myself. I have to create a whole new system in order for it to work." Donnie reached up and wiped his forehead. "At this rate, I'm gonna have to go back to the military junk yard and find some more stable parts. The ones I have are just too far gone to save. Once I do that, I'll be able to see all of New York. Which means I'll be able to track Leo down."

Raph paused from feeding Spike and looked at Donnie. "That doesn't really narrow it down." Donnie put his hand on his chin. "Well, he's either hiding in an abandoned apartment building or warehouse." Raph's voice got louder. "We know." He said while standing up and placing Spike on the bench. Mikey grabbed him, put him in his lap, and braced himself. "That's what we've been doing for the past two weeks!" This time Donnie stood up, and his body became rigid. "Really? I didn't know that. It's not like I've been there or anything!" Raph clinched his fists. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been there getting that damn mutagen!" Donnie bowed up and looked down at his brother. "Have you forgotten that you were there with me?!" They were both screaming at this point and were dangerously close to each other. "You could have stopped me!" Raph reached down for his sais. "Oh, yeah? Like you were gonna! When you get like that, you're blind Donnie! You don't listen to anyone!" Donnie unsheathed his staff. "Like you do? You have no room to talk, Raph!" Raph twirled his sais, and they faced each other, ready to fight. Anger and frustration were etched on their faces.

Mikey looked back and forth between his brothers. What would Leo do? He thought to himself. Mikey stood up and jumped in between his brothers, right before they stared to go at it. He pushed them away from each other and kept his arms up, creating a barrier between them. "Dudes! Knock. It. Off!" Raph and Donnie snapped a look at their little brother, eyes wide. "We don't need to be doing this right now. We have to stick together so that we can get our bro back. Don't break!" Donnie and Raph took a deep breath and put their weapons away. "Guys, we haven't been talking to each other at all except for when we go on patrol." Mikey's voice was calm and solid. "We've been hiding from each other and trying to handle this on our own. We can't be doing that anymore." He put his arms down and crossed them in front of his chest and took a deep breath. Looking between his two brothers he said, "I'm tired of the silence. If we don't talk it out," Mikey saw that Raph was fixing to say something, but he shot him a glare that could cut through steel. Raph didn't say a word. "we will fall apart and never find Leo." The three brothers remained tense. They continued to look at each other trying to read what the other was thinking. It didn't last long because Donnie quickly broke the silence. "Well then, let's try this again." Raph nodded, and the three of them sat on the bench as Donnie explained his plan. Raph stayed quiet, and Mikey looked up at his big brother trying to understand what he was talking about.

The absence of their leader was taking its toll. Cracks were beginning to form in their bonds, and Mikey was the only one who was able to patch it up. They were small this time, but time is unforgiving because the longer you let something go, the harder it becomes to rein it in.

Leo raced across the rooftops. He wasn't interested in saving people anymore. Compassion was all but obliterated from Leo's mind, but it was refreshing to feel the fresh air in his lungs. He approached the roof's edge and flipped through the air, landing on the opposite ledge. He turned on his heels and began to walk along the rooftop's border. Leo loved the feeling of uncertainty. In fact, he welcomed it. One false step, and he could plummet to the merciless asphalt below, or he could remain unharmed and safe on the rooftop's ledge. It used to not be this way. He always had to know if his plans would turn out either successful or burst into flames. The risk of failure had always consumed him, controlling everything he did. Everything he deemed important. That alone was enough, but he also had the weight of his brothers on his shoulders. He couldn't fail because that would mean failing them. His family…but that was no more. The thought of family made him sick. It was the source of all his stress and misery. It was what made him obsessed with success and certainty in the first place. Leo turned and faced the street. His bandana tails whipped behind him in the cold New York wind as he raised his hands up to the sky. The wind engulfed him as he closed his eyes. He let his body relax and swayed back and forth with the rhythm of the gusts, letting everything go. He put one foot over the ledge and let it dangle in the vulnerable space. He pushed it even further and leaned deeper into the gusts of wind. Suddenly, his body tensed, and he firmly planted his feet on the thin ledge. He looked up to the stars as he clenched his fists and released a scream that spread through the night sky. It didn't even sound like him. It had come from somewhere deep within. All of his anger, frustration, and pain escaped in that one horrible cry. They filled the air around him, and he was immersed in his rage. Leo lowered his arms and stared at the street below, becoming an empty shell with bandana tails flowing in the wind.

Leo's scream caused lights to appear in nearby windows, but he didn't care. No one was going to mess with him anyways. He was a monster in their eyes. Maybe, he was one in his own. Leo shook his head at the thought and came down from his perch. His face hardened as he heard a woman scream from a window in the next building. He turned and saw her. She was an older woman with a soft face. She could've even been considered beautiful, back in her prime. However, she was just like the rest of them. She would never know how much he had done for her. How many times this "monster" had saved her life. She would never welcome him into her home or thank him for his deeds. No. She would only see him for what was on the surface. This woman never cared. They will never care. If they ever got their hands on him, they would experiment on him and dissect him like a frog. They would be blinded by what he was on the outside, never to know what was truly there. He deserved recognition not dissection. He was their hero, guarding them from the threats that had lurked in the shadows.

Splinter had told him that being a leader meant not receiving thanks, and that the fact you saved lives was a thank you in itself. Leo laughed to himself and started to approach the woman. These "lives" didn't deserve to be saved. They were undeserving of such a blessing. They were snakes that slithered across the Earth, uncaring and selfish. Everything they did caused him pain and suffering. Their covetous and callous actions spurred the very problems he had to face. They were the cause of everything.

Leo saw the woman start to reach down. She clutched a baseball bat in her hands for dear life. As she rose, it began to wobble back and forth. Leo rolled his eyes. This woman in particular was her own brand of pathetic, and her ridiculously fluffy robe didn't help. She was fragile, weak, just like everyone else. He could get rid of her in a matter of seconds, ridding the world of another snake.

He leaped across the alleyway and landed on her fire escape. As long as he had her attention, he might as well use it to his advantage. "Miss," Leo put his arms across his chest and smugly said, "what do you expect to do with that?" The bat shook vigorously in her delicate hands. So much so that he was surprised she hadn't hit herself in the head yet. "Well?" Leo pressed. She remained a frozen, wobbly statue. Her mouth opened, and he could hear her take a deep breath preparing to scream. Before she could, Leo reached out with his right hand and clasped it around her mouth. The left naturally went to the back of her head. "Ssshh." Leo's twisted smile emerged on his face. He tilted his head and looked at the terrified woman. "There's no need for that." Leo started to tap his finders on the woman's face and chuckled. "You do realize what I could do from this position?" The woman's eyes widened in recognition. "Ah, so you do." Leo leaned in closer to the woman's face. Her breath hitting his cheeks. "It's really just a flick of the wrist." He analyzed her reaction. Anger, sadness, doubt, and fear spread across her face in a matter of seconds. Excitement filled Leo's empty shell. "However, that method is just…boring." Leo's brow furrowed in concentration, then the perfect idea formed in his mind. Leo tilted his head and whispered in the woman's ear. "This is going to be fun." As he was beginning to follow through, he heard a silent thud behind him.

"I'm all for fun, but this seems a little dark for you, hero."

Ruh rough! *Scooby voice* Ugghh…SWEET BEANS! I apologize again for the insanely long delay. I'm so frickin sorry my friends. *sigh* I'll do better. Pinky promise. I'll even swear on my Leo plushy. That's how much I care. :) Anyways, till next time! ;) ….(which will be in about 2 days *fingers crossed*)