I waited anxiously for Harry to get there. I had so much to tell him.
He showed up around five, once again with a bag of food. He got me a cheeseburger today, and it was good. I'd been craving red meat.
"How was your day?" I asked him.
He shrugged. "I had Teddy over for lunch," he said. "It's nice to sleep when I want and eat when I want..."
"I'm jealous," I admitted. He gave me a sad smile.
"How was your day?" he asked.
"I talked to my Healer," I explained. "And told him that Christopher is stressing me out too much, so he isn't going to be visiting me this week."
"Awesome!" he exclaimed. "Oh, that's really great."
"I know," I said. "And now every day from one to two Sophia gets to come visit so I do get time with her. It's kind of worked out perfectly."
"That's really great, Anna," he said. "What else did he say?"
"That I'm basically still in here because my head's not right and as soon as that gets straightened out, I can go," I explained. "And that my letter to my father never got mailed."
"It never got mailed?"
"I don't have letter privileges," I told him. "So no. The past week where I thought he had ignored me, I was wrong. Miriam just lied to me."
"Why would she do that?" he asked.
Truthfully, I had no idea either. I wanted to suspect Christopher, but I didn't think he had much to do with it this time. "I don't know. I'm not very happy with her," I said.
"If you want to write another letter I'll send it to him," he offered. "I think it's important for you two to connect."
"Me too," I said. "Reconciling with him is on my to do list for things that need to be done as soon as I get out of here."
"What else is on the list?" he asked, and I could tell he was really interest.
"Let's see..." I said. I had it written down in my journal, but I didn't want to dig that out right now. It had things in it that weren't for Harry's eyes. "Get as far away from Christopher as possible with Sophia, reconcile with my father, and get together with you. Those are the big things."
I noticed he smiled as I went through the list. "I believe those can all be arranged," he said with a grin.
"Good," I said. I got parchment and began to write another letter to my father. I tried to remember what I had said the first time, but I struggled.
Dear Dad,
I was in an accident while on a mission that left me without my memories. It was a really stupid accident, but other than my brain, I am physically sound. I am staying at St. Mungo's until my memories return.
I know that we're not on very good terms right now. This makes me sad, and I would really like to try to fix it. I know it won't be completely possible until my memories return, but talking to you would do me good, I think.
I can't be sure exactly what has led us to this point in our relationship, but I can guess. I want you to know that in this experience I've learned a lot about who I am and how I don't want so much of it. I'm going to try and get away from Christopher when I get my memories back.
I know you're probably really busy but I would love to hear from you or see you if you had the time.
Love,
Anna
I asked Harry to read it and he took the parchment from me. "I think it's perfect," he said. "Hopefully you'll get a letter back soon."
I sealed it in an envelope and he tucked it inside his coat's pocket. "Thank you, Harry," I said.
He shrugged. "I'll mail it out as soon as I get home. It'll be in Scotland by midnight," he assured me. "And I'll tell my owl to bring any reply back to me as I'm not sure if they'll even give it to you here."
"You're the best," I said.
He smiled and pulled out the Exploding Snap game for us. We played a few rounds, but I was getting frustrated with my hair. It kept falling in my face, no matter what I did with it, and I couldn't see.
Harry took a piece of lint off his shirt and used his want to transfigure it into a hair elastic. He handed it to me, and I piled all of my hair directly on top of my head. I was sure I looked ridiculous, as he burst out laughing. I couldn't help but laugh along.
"You know, I can remember you coming into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and having your hair all done. I don't know what was done to it, but it was all smooth and soft and wondering if you were in the right place," he said.
"When was this?" I asked. I hadn't heard this before but it definitely did not surprise me.
"Well, when you first became an Auror but you always had perfect clothing and perfect hair," he said.
I liked to know about her, who was me, but I didn't particularly liked what I heard. "I was so... materialistic and shallow," I told him. "I'm sure that's Christopher's doing."
"Definitely," he said.
"Do you know when I started dating him? I mean, he's quite a bit older than I am. It just... so many things don't make sense," I explained. "And I don't want to ask him."
"Er... I'm not sure to be honest. I think when you came into the Aurors three years ago you were already dating. He used to hang around the department a lot, bloody annoying, so I think it might have still been new. I don't really know," he said. "Your dad probably knows better."
I nodded, and we went back to our game. We spent the rest of the afternoon like that, and he would interject with something funny or a random memory of me. In his stories, I could tell how much of an awful person I was, even though he tried to cover up the full extent of it.
Miriam came in eventually and gave us a five minute warning. I sighed, but knew it was time for him to go.
"Same time tomorrow?" he asked.
"That would be great," I told him. He held me tightly for a few seconds, and I didn't want to let go.
"Maybe I'll have a reply letter to bring you?" he asked.
"Fingers crossed," I said. He leaned over to kiss my forehead, and then put his coat on to leave. Saying goodbye to him was one of the worst parts of my day.
I did not stay up late because there was nothing to do. Sleeping was my hobby when there was nothing better to do.
Miriam brought me my breakfast in the morning, but I still hadn't talked to her. I was still angry.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "You haven't said one word to me since yesterday morning."
"You told me you would mail the letter to my father and you didn't," I informed her. Just talking about it made me angry. I was supposed to be able to trust her and now I definitely did not.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I was told by Christopher to do whatever to make you happy. I gave him the letter to mail."
"Next time don't even bother lying to me," I said, fighting the anger. I wanted to stay calm but I wanted her to know how I felt. "Save us both the time. I spent a week thinking my father did not care about me. It just would have been easier if you had been honest with me."
"I'm sorry," she said again. I did not care; I just wanted her to leave.
After I ate breakfast, Healer Davis made his rounds and stopped in on me.
"You've left the hospital a few times," he acknowledged, as he gazed at my chart.
I nodded. "Three times," I said.
"And with Christmas coming up in a few days... I don't see why you can't leave again. Most of the residents in this ward will be going home with some part of their family. I don't really see the need for you to go to your home if you believe that it will stress you out. If you're going to be under anxiety while you're gone, I'm not authorizing it. Christopher doesn't need to know, so I think it might be a good opportunity for you to see your father, if you're up to it," he offered.
My mind soared. That would be perfect. "Really?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. "I think it would be good for you. What do you think?"
"I think it would be awesome," I said. "Really, really awesome."
"Good," he said. "I'll check in with you later in the week and find out what you're doing."
"Thank you!" I gushed. He left and I was imagining what Christmas would be like now. I would spend it in Scotland with my father. Maybe I would even make dinner, though I didn't know if I was a good cook. I guessed not, as part of Christopher's staff included a cook. I smiled to myself, Christmas truly wasn't that far off.
Connie showed up with Sophia just before one o'clock, and I was glad to see my daughter. It had only been a few days since I saw her last, but it felt like an eternity. And she was always glad to see me.
"You may leave, Connie," I said, observing her as she hovered over me. I did not feel comfortable around her, it felt as though everything I did was being watched and noticed. It would not surprise me if she was going to report it all back to Christopher later.
"I-" she stopped, as if taken by surprise. "Christopher would like me to remain with Sophia."
"She is fine with me," I explained, cradling her closer to me. "No need to worry."
She still did not leave. "I'm sure she will be fine," she said. "But I'd rather not worry about it."
"Connie, she is my daughter," I said. "I may not remember her birth but I will be fine taking care of her. Now, please leave. You may come back at two."
She nodded and left. It felt a little nice to be able to tell someone what to do and have them listen, but I was not getting used to that.
"Well, it's just you and I, Sophia," I said. I opened the bag of things Connie had brought with her for Sophia. Inside were some books and blocks and a few other toys that entertained us for awhile. It was the first time I got to be alone with her, and she really showed off a lot of her personality. She was a really funny little girl.
"Just give it a few more days," I told her. "And then we will be by ourselves. No more nannies, just you and me."She had the same exact eyes as Christopher, but she was so much more innocent.
An hour truly was not a long time, but it was good. I could tell she was getting ready for a nap as she was rubbing her eyes and getting a little whiny. When Connie came back in, she hardly said anything to me. I could tell that while she was a staff member, she did not like to be bossed around. I was convinced now that she was not from a lower class like the rest of the staff. She was an elite member of society, forced to work as a nanny.
I knew there was a story there, but there were more important stories for me to investigate within my life. I wrote in my notebook that afternoon, writing down everything I knew about my life so far. I thought maybe seeing it all collected would help me.
Harry showed up earlier than I expected, less than an hour after Sophia had left. It was too late for lunch, and too early for dinner, but he had a bag of food for me.
"I'm sorry," he said. "But I came early today. Some friends of mine invited me for dinner tonight and I did want to see you."
I liked that he came to see me and would have been really sad if he hadn't come. "I appreciate it," I said to him.
"Open the bag," he instructed. Inside were two chocolate cupcakes. As soon as I opened the paper bag, the scent of chocolate drifted through the room. It was hard to not smile.
"These smell amazing," I said.
"They taste even better," he laughed, taking one.
"Why do you always bring me food?" I asked, curious. He had never showed up with some sort of food. I was grateful for it, but curious.
"Because," he said, leaning forward. "For one, the food in here is pathetic and I feel bad you've got to eat it. And secondly, I think you're too skinny."
I looked down at my hands. I probably could stand to gain a few pounds, but I didn't have bones that stuck out or anything. "You're going to make me fat," I laughed.
He shrugged. "I can eat it if you like," he offered.
I took another look at the cupcake and took a bite. It was moist and sweet and the most delicious cupcake. "This is heavenly," I said.
"Still want me to eat it?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"I have something that might make your day even better," he said. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. "My owl got back just in time with this."
He handed it to me, and my hands got a little shaky with excitement. There was a wax seal on the envelope, so I knew he hadn't opened it.
"I can leave while you read it if you'd like," he offered.
But I wanted him here. If it was a good letter, I would want to share the news with him. If it wasn't, I knew he would calm me down. "Stay," I said.
I slipped my finger under the envelope and opened it. I unfolded the parchment and looked at what was written.
My Dear Anna,
I am glad to hear that you are on the mend. Some of my former colleagues wrote to me about your accident, and I agree, it was stupid indeed.
Unfortunately, it has been many months since the last time I saw you, due to circumstances that are, indeed, unfortunate. I'm sure if you've been told anything about your life, you can piece together the circumstances.
I would love to come visit you tomorrow. I will be in London tomorrow for a meeting with a friend and would be glad to visit around two thirty in the afternoon. Please let me know if this is all right with you. Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Love,
Dad
Author's Note: Thanks to karmonblake for a super quick beta! You're the best :) Also, I'm pretty sure I've got the best readers on planet Earth :) So, I know I said I wouldn't update this until next weekend but today I started freaking out for one of my exams (Biology) and instead of having a ginormous meltdown, funneled the energy into writing. Much healthier, eh? So, please let me know what you think! Also, if you've got some time, I've updated my writing blog with the current status of things. If you'd take a read and help me out, I'd greatly appreciate it :) Thanks all!