Ian pulled himself to his feet as well, seeing that Helga was ready to head back. "Probably just the wind. Let's go back." Both of them knew there was no wind, but without another word they started toward the fair. Suddenly there was another crash and Ian wheeled around. Two glowing eyes peered back at him; it was just a cat. The fast beating of his heart still lingered from the sudden panic, and the small mew seemed to mock him. He turned back around to catch up to Helga, who was still walking ahead of him. He had always hated the dark.
Arnold spotted the two figures emerging from the dark streets. Gerald and Phoebe, who were next to him as they stood in line for food, did not. Arnold's eyes remained on Ian, studying the emotionless expression as they approached. Ian did not return the stare, although fully conscious of it.
"Oh, hi guys," Phoebe said as she noticed their presence. They smiled convincingly, still in their own little bubble of arguments and confused affection with each other.
Ian turned a shoulder from the others as he whispered to Helga, "Are you coming to the party with me?"
Helga leaned back. "No." They straightened, and no more words were exchanged.
The kids got their unhealthy food and headed to the large group of fourth graders crowded onto a picnic table. Everyone had eventually found each other and sat together, planning what they would do at Rhonda's party. They noticed the new addition and turned their attention.
Lila spoke up, saying, "Are you guys coming too? Looks like we have everyone, this will be ever so much fun!"
"Well, I'm going home to get ready," Eugene said. "I want to look my brightest!" The happy boy jumped from the picnic table to land gracefully onto the ground. Well, not really. "I'm okay," he groaned, his face smashed into the concrete from the trip. Everyone got up and started heading home to get ready, and rid of their current clothes into ones that didn't smell like barbequed smoke and crowds of people.
Phoebe tagged along beside Helga. "Are we going to get ready together?"
She sighed. "No, Phoebe. We're not going to get ready together. I'm going to go home, and go to bed." Helga's placid voice worried Phoebe. Phoebe didn't know, however, of Helga's thoughts. Helga was emotionless now, ashamed of herself. She didn't know why. She felt dirty, betrayed. All she wanted to do was stay home, like she should have before. Phoebe looked down at her feet as she walked.
"Well... then... I'll go home with you. I just don't want you to be alone." They stopped walking. Helga looked over at her friend, hating her for her sincerity and loyalty. She wanted to snap. Yell at Phoebe for not thinking of herself, for never thinking of herself. She wanted Phoebe to go to the party. She wanted to at least explain to Phoebe that she would be fine. That she would try to be fine. But Helga could not bring herself to talk; she was just so tired. So she turned and continued home. Phoebe followed.
A few hours passed, and Helga sat up on her bed. Phoebe sat on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed as she picked at her nails. Both girls were very quiet. The party had started, but they still did not move from the bedroom. Helga let her body fall and flopped her back onto the bed with a small bounce. She stared at the blank ceiling, the whiteness and emptiness matching her thoughts. Finally, after a long, silent stare into space, Helga said aloud, "Phoebe, go to the party."
Phoebe finally moved herself from her previously motionless position and crawled onto the bed next to Helga. "Then you come with me."
"I don't want to go." Helga knew Phoebe wanted to go, though. She could feel Phoebe's pain from missing one of the most exciting events of the year.
"Then I'm not going."
Helga sat up and stared her friend in the eyes. The stare was like concrete. "Phoebe, I am not going. You want to go. GO." Phoebe was frustrated by the lack of openness Helga had with her all of a sudden.
"Helga, tell me what the matter is." They stared at each other for a while, each daring the other to back down. It wasn't long before Phoebe saw Helga's stone face grow sadder and sadder, and knew that her thoughts were starting to eat at her. "Helga," she said quietly.
Helga was petrified to tell Phoebe. She was petrified to say the words aloud. She was petrified to think. The last thing she wanted to do was tell Phoebe. Tell Phoebe what she wasn't sure of, because she didn't know what it would lead to. She was so confused... that's all she was anymore. Just so confused...
"I don't know," Helga said, her voice severely choked up by holding back tears. She shook her head. "I don't know I don't know I don't know..." Phoebe was almost frightened at seeing Helga almost begin to cry; she'd never seen Helga agonized this much, and didn't know what to do.
"What did you and Ian talk about?" She asked, suspicious.
Helga stared at her friend with red, puffy, and struggling eyes. Her face was distorted in the utter confusion she felt inside. "Phoebe, do I really love Arnold?" Her words were still garbled from her fight against crying. Phoebe's expression changed to worry.
"What? What do you mean?" She knew well enough that Helga's love for Arnold kept her going every day, because the passion it instilled in her certainly wasn't a negative one. Arnold meant the world to her, and such an emotion in jeopardy would certainly throw Helga into an unbalanced state of mind. "Why wouldn't you?"
A wet sniff came before another forced sentence. "All he did was give me his umbrella." Her volume changed into a whisper, and she looked down, unable to keep eye contact. "Just a stupid umbrella..."
Phoebe was getting pretty unsettled. Maybe others would have thought the situation to be absurd, but Phoebe knew how much Arnold cared for Helga. She could see it in his eyes, and the way he looked at her. The way he has looked at her since the day they met. Helga had no idea just how much Arnold has cared for her from the start, because she was so wrapped up in her own secrets. Phoebe propped herself up onto her knees and leaned toward Helga to look her in the face. Helga quickly looked up and continued before Phoebe could speak.
"Don't you understand, Phoebe? Arnold hasn't done anything for me! I've been head over heels for the boy practically my entire life, and why? He's never even done anything for me to feel this way! I'm such an idiot!" Helga curled up into herself and buried her face into her knees. She knew what she had said to Ian. But now she realized how much it hurt. It did hurt loving Arnold, with the love so one-sided. Sure, she loved him from a distance, but it was so hard now. She didn't know why, but it was just so horribly difficult now. Was Ian right? Is one little encounter really worth that much? She didn't know. She had no idea. Disorder stormed around her heart like a swarm of bees, almost inflicting as much pain as if it weren't just a metaphor. Phoebe backed off a little.
"Helga, don't you remember all the times Arnold helped you through the rough times? He's been there for you, right when you needed him." Phoebe's calm, comforting voice softened Helga's snuffles, signaling her attention. "Remember when your mom was at work all the time? That was terrible, wasn't it?" Helga nodded, still hiding her face. "Did Arnold just blow you off? Did he tell you to deal with it yourself? Or did he help you, without hesitation, like I think he would do?" Helga did not reply. "The Arnold I know would have helped you." A pause, and another hesitant nod. "Who compliments you when your day is gloomy and hopeless? Who offers you the last pudding cup when they're all out? Who calls you up after spilling paint on you? He wouldn't have called if he wasn't dwelling on it all day." Phoebe tried to think of every good thing Helga had happily caroled to her whenever Arnold had brightened her day. Helga's breathing was quiet now, signaling her composure. "And remember," she began to chuckle," remember when you had amnesia, and Arnold took care of you all day? Well I don't know if you remember that, but I had to watch it all day." She added jokingly, "It was almost sickening." Helga tried not to smile, but the memory of that day warmed her.
"Tell you what. I'm going to head home to get my stuff together for the party. You get ready too, and I'll meet you there." Phoebe knew she had to trust Helga to show up, and it was largely based on trust. She didn't know if her friend would pull through and show up. Helga nodded, and sat up. Her face was emotionless, and her hair was tousled. Phoebe gave Helga a quick hug.
"We better hurry, we're late. ...I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Alright."
"Good." Phoebe got up, made sure Helga would be okay, and left, hoping for the best.
"Criminey," Helga muttered to herself as she stared at the reflection in the mirror. She was dressed up and ready to go, but completely unsatisfied with her appearance. Her blue-green dress was bland, her hair still in its routine pigtails, and her face as make-up-less as it always was. Helga headed downstairs, and sat at the bottom of the steps, staring at the front door. Would she go or not? She still felt pretty crummy. "One hour," she told herself. "One hour and I'll head home. Just like Phoebe said before." Helga got up and slowly opened the door. Feeling the outside air beckon to her, she suddenly felt terribly unprepared and almost slammed the door back shut. The sight of the boy sitting on her steps was what prevented her from doing so. He turned around, and Helga looked back at him.
"Come on, Helga," Phoebe said impatiently to herself, checking her watch for the tenth time. She walked from the punch bowl and looked at all the kids dancing and enjoying each other's company. Gerald, Arnold, and Ian were nowhere to be seen.
"Hi, Phoebe!" Lila sang as she spotted the small girl. Phoebe smiled and greeted her. "Have you been listening to the local band Rhonda booked? They're ever so wonderful, aren't they?" Phoebe looked behind Lila at the four girl band on the small constructed stage in the corner of the ballroom. The lead singer's voice echoed throughout the room seeing as it wasn't made for a live performer, but their music still maintained its upbeat sound and it sounded good. "Hey, let's go check out what everyone else is up to!" she sang happily, taking Phoebe's wrist and excitedly leading the reluctant girl into the crowd.
Gerald spotted Lila guiding Phoebe through the crowd and perked up, seeing she had come after all. He started towards their direction, and soon caught up with them. Lila kept up her perkiness and happily greeted Gerald.
"Hello there, Gerald! Are you having fun? I was just saying to Phoebe here that we should start a group game, like bobbing for apples or something!" Her smile was anything but contagious.
"Actually, I-" Phoebe began, but Lila interrupted her.
"I'll go check with Rhonda! Be right back!" The girl disappeared, leaving Phoebe uncomfortably alone with Gerald. She couldn't look at him like she used to. Not when she still liked Ian.
Rhonda scoffed at such an absurd idea. "Lila, I do not host such disorderly games. As an honorable member of the Lloyd household, I do not have a wooden barrel in my home, nor would I ever stick my head in it to bite at an apple like a common animal." She continued, saying with an even more sophisticated tone, "I will, however, host a dancing contest." Her pride at such a wonderful idea didn't fail to beam from her face. "We've never had one before, have we?"
"Why, I don't believe so. It sounds ever so wonderful!" The girls headed to the stage to announce the contest.
"I'm glad you came," Gerald said sheepishly. He felt better knowing that Phoebe hadn't shown up with Ian. But her conversation did not correspond with his.
"Where's Arnold?" Gerald looked around.
"I dunno, I haven't seen him." Phoebe felt a little relieved. Maybe he had gone to Helga's house to check on her when he saw she had not come. Suddenly the music stopped and there was a tapping on the microphone. All attention was directed to Rhonda, on stage.
"Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but I have decided to spice up the party a bit. There will be a dance competition in a half hour, and everyone is invited. There are to be two partners for each entry, and I, of course, will be the judge." She looked down at the people beckoning to her. "Some other people, too. Well, that's it, you've got a half hour. Thank you!" She hopped off the stage, the music resumed, and people went to find their friends and pair up.
"Do you want to be my partner?" Gerald asked, seeing the opportunity. Phoebe turned to him and smiled reluctantly. She didn't know how to dance.
"Sure," she replied halfheartedly.
After signing up, Phoebe spotted Arnold at the front door. She rushed over.
"Arnold, hello!" He smiled back at her.
"Hey Phoebe." She looked behind him, and turned her head to look around the area where they were. "What?"
"Where's Helga?"
He looked puzzled. "I don't know. Why?"
She stopped to look back at him. "She didn't come with you?"
Arnold shook his head. He saw her facial expression. "Why? What's wrong?"
"Where's Ian?"
"I don't know."
Phoebe felt she should have known better. Of course Ian would show up at her house. He probably did, and now she didn't know if Helga would show up or not. She walked away back into the party and Arnold caught up to her.
"What's going on?"
"Well, Helga's not here. Ian isn't here, either. You figure it out, Arnold, because I don't know." Arnold was almost beside himself as he felt a twinge of bitterness, but remembered what he had thought earlier and composed himself.
"Well, whatever. They'll show up soon."
Phoebe continued into the crowd to find Gerald. Arnold took another look at the empty hallway by the front door.
"I said I didn't want to go to the party with you. I said no. Why did you even bother coming over here?"
"I never said anything about going to the party. I just wanted to come over here. Is it that bad? ...Besides, parties are for 'social weenies,' remember?" Helga didn't reply. She quietly shut the door and took a seat next to Ian on the front steps.
"Well, now what?" Helga asked tiredly.
"I dunno."
Helga stared at her Sesame Street band-aid. She wondered if she would make it to the party or not.
"We could make out," Ian offered nonchalantly.
"That's not funny."
"Sorry."
After a while, Helga got up and walked down the last step, then headed down the sidewalk.
"Helga?" Ian said to her. Helga stopped and turned. "You look nice." She stared at him, then turned back and continued to Rhonda's house. Ian joined her.
Arnold stood at the balcony in the back of the house and stared into the midnight blue sky. The dark blue hue outside reflected onto his thoughtful face. He heard someone come up beside him and saw Lila. She looked pretty.
"Hi, Arnold," she said quietly.
"Hi, Lila."
"You look ever so down, is something the matter?"
"No, I'm okay. Thanks, Lila." She paused to study his face.
"Would you be interested in joining the dance competition with me?" Arnold looked back at her, taken off guard by the offer. Partner with Lila? Of course he would; after all, who could deny such an opportunity with their crush? Arnold looked over the balcony and stared at the distanced ground below. Who could deny that...?
"I... I don't know."
"Come on, it will be ever so much fun!" He didn't answer, because he didn't want to say no. He was convinced that if he answered now, he would say no, and Arnold wasn't about to let himself turn down a dance competition with the object of his affections.
"Arnold?"
He replied only with a sigh.
"We only have a few minutes," she continued. Arnold shifted his position against the marble balcony.
"...no... That's okay." 'Idiot!' he yelled inside.
"Oh... well... ok, Arnold. I'm heading inside, then come in soon, okay? It's getting chilly out here." And with that, she left, leaving Arnold alone once more. He could feel the absence of anyone around him the moment she quietly went back inside.
Arnold wondered why on earth he would turn down Lila after being asked to join her to dance. He loved to dance, and he certainly liked Lila. It was just...
"Holy cow, this is Rhonda's house?!" Ian exclaimed, taken aback by the enormity of the building.
"C'mon, Cat Boy, you're holdin' us up," Helga snapped.
The moment the door opened, the faint noise turned into loud music and conversation flooding the home. They entered and Ian's eyes studied every corner of the interior as they walked, staring like a child in a candy store. Most of the people were gathered near the stage, but Helga kept her distance. Her eyes scanned the crowd, looking for the small dark-haired girl in glasses. She didn't see her.
"C'mon, cheer up, Helga. We're weenies now!" Ian said cheerfully. He saw that Helga was still staring at everyone else. "What is it?"
Her attention turned back to Ian. "Huh? Nothing. I'm gonna go find the punch bowl."
"And spike it?" Ian tagged along behind Helga like a little puppy.
Arnold heard the faint noise inside die down, and figured the competition was starting. He stood up straight and turned to head inside.
Ian sat on a chair placed in front of Helga as they sat next to the food table. His giddy expression had left as he looked at the sad girl. "What's the matter?"
She stared at her knees. "I wanna go home."
"Ohhh, come on, we just got here! We're going to have fun! It'll be great!"
Helga wondered how in the world she ended up at the party with Ian, anyway. She had said 'no.' But now, well, she didn't feel 'no.' Maybe it would be fun to be with Ian tonight. She looked up to see him studying her.
"Can I do something with your hair?" he asked thoughtfully.
"What are you talking about?" Helga asked, suddenly retracting her optimism. Without another word, Ian leaned forward and ran his fingers through her hair. She stared at his close face, his eyes diverted from hers. He pulled her pigtails out and the ribbon fluttered onto her lap. Then he dragged his fingers through her locks of hair and Helga felt her hair fall neatly around her shoulders. She still stared at him. With a final brush of his hand against her bangs, Ian leaned back a little to study her.
At that moment, Helga saw Arnold walking and stop a short distance behind Ian. He stared at Helga, and Helga looked back at him. His face turned white. Ian did not realize that Helga's heart began to beat faster and faster as she watched the look on Arnold's face. She didn't understand.
Suddenly, Helga shot up from her seat and darted away from them. Ian turned in surprise at the sudden jolt. He saw Arnold and they looked at each other, completely oblivious of the other's thoughts. And both were horribly confused.
Helga kicked her heels off in frustration as she moved as fast she could down the staircase. She reached the bottom and wheeled around to head to the back of the house. She ran into the back doors and her body slammed into them as she aggressively pushed them open. They swung apart and Helga hurried across the grass toward the pond in front of her. She suddenly stopped before she reached it and carefully approached, feeling as if she was approaching an angry, growling dog. Helga slowly peered into the water. In the moonlight shining into the placid, almost motionless water, who else should look back up at her but Cecile.
Then the nightmare began.