Jasper woke up before Trudy and continued reading. It was heartbreaking for him.
I was kneeling at the window as Jason slept, praying that he'd survive by some miraculous incident. I was also listening to his sharp and laboured breaths. Then they started coming more frequently and in irregular bursts. I darted to his side. He was gasping for air and his pulse was racing and his temperature was far too high. Even the medicine couldn't bring it down and he was having a fit of some kind. I went to get a bowl of cold water and a sponge, then sponged him down, trying to calm his fever. Mid-way through the sponging, his gasps slowed and stopped, but he didn't start breathing again.
I tried to do CPR and revive him, checking his pulse. Or lack of it. I sat by his bed on my stool and cried. I knew he was dead and I didn't want him to be. I wanted to be able to get him through. I know now that I had to tell my parents that he'd died.
But when I went to tell them, they hit me with more terrible news. They had been diagnosed with cancer. Then I told them as gently as I could that Jason was dead and I had to make funeral arrangements. I got sharp slaps and kicks.
"This is all your fault. You're the one who let Jason die. And the stress you've given us. It's no wonder we've got cancer with a curse like you!"
"I'm sorry! I know it's my fault, but I can't rewind this and prevent it! If I could I would!"
It all went on for an hour. Then my dad's parents' doctor called. They'd died.
I got the blame for that, too. And a few more hits. I know that one day, I'll allow my husband to read this, he might be curious. Our babies (though I don't know if we'll have any, I might be attacked violently if I dare to get pregnant) will be sleeping or resting silently. And I know he'll understand what I'm going through right now. Or if he doesn't, I'll explain everything to him. If Mummy has taught me one thing it's that I have to do as I'm told to.
The next part of the entry was when her parents died.
I'm 18. My parents are lay dying in front of me. I can't help but remember when Jason died. And my granny and grandpa on the same day. I've applied for several jobs already. I can't live here. My father's final request of my life.
"Trudy, this is it. Before you are forty, you are to be married. And you will not give back chat to this man. You'll give him a happy life and you will give him children. Do you hear me?"
"Yes, Daddy."
My mother made a similar request.
"You will make sure that you treat him right and his children. You understand?"
"Yes, Mummy."
And I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. Daddy died. Mummy went into a coma.
It's been four days and Mummy died. I've been accepted to work in a boarding school. Anubis estate. Mm, sounds posh. I don't know how well I'll fit in there...
There were entries like the ones she had when she was ten. Then suddenly, there was a sweeter and much softer one.
I was selected to go and work in the Frobisher library today. I was an assistant curator. Well, I'm not bothered, I like that. Then I saw the curator. Honestly, I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven and met God. Turns out, I'm still alive and he was my co-worker.
He seemed so sweet, I couldn't help but fall head-over-heels in love. It seems he doesn't return those feelings at all. I tried my best to be quiet and good and sweet. But my attempts failed. I mean, I'm 36. How am I supposed to make him want me? He seems like the practical type. He won't want a complete idiot like me...
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Trudy answered it. Nina ran downstairs with a squeal. It was soft enough not to wake the little ones.
Downstairs, Nina and Fabian were in a huge hug.
"Nina! I can't believe it's you!"
"Fabian, I've missed you so much!"
"I've missed you too! How are you?"
"I'm great thanks. You?"
"Great."
They stood smiling before Trudy pulled them inside. This was going to be entertaining.
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Sorry if this was one hundred percent awful. I'd like to know what you thought. Review, please? Until next update, Random Dizzy. :D