This chapter is dedicated to everyone that read and reviewed this story or put it in their alerts and/or favorites (you all get hugs). I thank you all and here is the last chapter which is also dedicated to koitoy for the beautiful comments. Anyhow on with the last chapter. Oh yeah I forgot to say on the last chapter Suki means beloved and Hikari means light or shining I think.
Ikkaku was dreaming that he was in a dark place empty of all life and alone. He could hear someone yelling out for him but he couldn't move. He felt blood trickling down his head and back. Above all that he still heard the voice and with shock he recognized it as Yumichika's and forced his body to move. He couldn't make out half the words but he did hear don't leave me and save me with a new burst of strength he headed toward the voice.
"YUMI!! YUMI!! I"M COMING!" He cried out feeling as if he were running in place unable to help Yumichika where ever he was.
"I coming Yumi just hang in there!" He whispered as he continued to run and run and run and run. As he got to where he had to be he felt his heart stop as he stared out in front of him and saw Yumichika bloody and a dying slowly on the ground.
"YUMICHIKA!" He cried in alarm as he ran forward Ruri'iro Kujaku's words came to mind in a voice that echoed over and over again He'll came Ruri'iro he'll came for me I know he will because he loves memaking him realize Yumichika had believed in him and he hadn't saved him. Them came Hozukimaru's voice You gave him a life and it was enough for him. All he wants is to be loved and accepted for who he is, but when he showed you Yumichika felt his heart get broken by the hands of the only person he ever loved. It made him feel all alone again so he waited for you to come back for him to tell him it was okay and when you didn't he gave up. This is whats left of your Yumi. This sad man, this broken man is all that is left. As Hozukimaru's voice faded away he saw that Yumichika was looking at him softly and whispered sadly.
"Oh Ikkaku I knew you'd come. I love you and I'm sorry for being so weak." Ikkaku felt a sadness opening in his heart because of those words that he didn't understand. He saw that Yumichika was in terrible pain and still even though he hadn't arrived in time Yumichika was the one that was apologizing. He held Yumichika in his arms softly and cried out for help anyone to safe his beautiful lover. When a cold voice that he now knew to be Hikari's rang out as clear as a bell in the dark world.
"You killed him and now no one will help you." He heard the cold laughter of Hikari joined by Suki's.
As he awoke from that horrible dream he realized that he hurt everywhere . As he tried to get up his body cried out in agony and he felt something next to him almost fall off of the bed and grabbed the warm body and pulled it next to his and on instinct pulled it closer to himself. His mind was fuzzy and he could barely register who it was. Opening his eyes to look down and found Yumichika sleeping peacefully in his arms. The moonlight shining down on his skin. You're a moon child my love. He smiled at the thought and almost laughed We survived. He kissed Yumichika's forehead and smiled. We're still here. With that thought in his head Ikkaku went back to sleep cradling the slighter man.
Ikkaku awoke with a start and pulled the blankets off and looked around only to find the room empty. He felt his blood freeze and his heart stop. Where was Yumichika?? Had he killed himself? No that wasn't possible it couldn't have been the end of their month. Or had he been out that long and Yumichika gone through with his plans. His mind continued to feed him ideas of hopelessness and of a life without Yumi to hold and love.
He heard the door open. He didn't look up as he tried to search for Yumichika all over Soul Society he usually could find Yumichika anywhere but now there was nothing. Had he just been dreaming of Yumichika sleeping next to him or was it real.
"Glad you're awoke! Third seat of the Zaraki squad Ikkaku Madarame." He looked up at the formalities and pulled away he knew that face and that voice it was Suki. She smiled at him and it was a soft smile gentle and true.
"Oh don't worry. My mission is over I have no interest in you or your friend/lover whatever he is to you. I am merely here to check on you." She smiled softly and if Ikkaku hadn't seen her fight he would have said she looked kind and gentle a healer to the bone. He distrusted her greatly but as she began to heal him he realized she was very much a capable healer.
"Why the hell are you here?!" Ikkaku asked after the silence had become unbearable .
"I was sent to see if Yumichika was a problem to my kind which he is. Far to dangerous to my and my kind but I see in him something that we elementals rarely feel or understand." Suki whispered as she continued to examine him.
"And what would that be?" Ikkaku asked gruffly as he lifted his arms so that she could she the cut that she had delivered a few inches away from his lung.
"It would be love Ikkaku. His love for you is so great that it hurts him. He would do anything for you and never ask himself if it's what he wants. It makes me want to protect him and see what well become of him." She said it happily and spun around happily. As she stopped her smiled faded and with a serious face she continued.
"But there is great pain in his heart which was once pure, but now it is very dark Ikkaku. He is losing his path and I fear for him. I wish I hadn't had to hurt him. I wish I could talk to him just for a little while and tell him that he should be happy." She said wistfully. Ikkaku realized that for all her strength the mighty Suki was no older them sixteen human years from the looks of her and she was probably wanted a human life nothing more.
"I'll ask him if he'll talk to you." He stated and watched her face fall.
"That isn't possible Ikkaku." Ikkaku felt his heart stop at those words.
"What do you mean? I saw him!! He was here!" He yelled feeling lost. As the confusion vanished he felt his chest tighten painfully as he realized Yumichika might be dead.
"He is alive... but he left and I don't think he'll ever come back." She whispered.
"N-no not my Yumi! I need him!" Ikkaku felt pain well up in his chest and looked up at Suki whose face was expressionless.
"I'm sorry." With that she left and Ikkaku hit the wall besides his bed time after time after time until his hand bled.
Suki came back a while later to check on him and heal his hand. Her face a mask of patience but he could tell that she was worry.
"Where is he?! Tell me! I need to find him!" Ikkaku dragged himself out of bed and the pain in his torso made him fall to his knees. Suki helped him up and gently helped him into bed.
"I need him Suki! Please find him!" With that Suki smiled at him.
"You too have had your own tests Ikkaku and this is one you pass. You have shown me that you care for him maybe not as much as Yumichika loves you but still it is enough." She smiled at him and Ikkaku felt his blood come to a boil at that. She played with me. With my love for Yumichika.
"We had to make sure that you cared about him. Sis is Yumichika back from talking to Yachiru. If he is he can come in now!" Ikkaku looked out the door and saw Yumichika run into the room and jump onto the bed and hug Ikkaku tightly. Ikkaku hugged back just as tightly.
"Suki that was mean." Yumichika said pulling away from Ikkaku to look at Suki with a pout. Hikari walked in and laughed when she saw Yumichika pouting.
"You too were curious to know whether or not he cared about you." She said with a laugh.
"We'll see you sooner them you think Yumichika Ayasegawa and you too Ikkaku Madarame." They said in unison and disappeared. Yumichika got off of the bed and stood next to the it looking down at the man in it.
"Ikkaku I'll be back tomorrow I have to do somethings and them I have to move to the 13th squad barracks." Yumichika looked at him and smiled sadly as he got up and left. Ikkaku felt his heart break. Yumi is leaving anyways. At least he'll be happier them he was with me. He thought sadly. He was glad they had survived but had he known Yumichika would still leave him he would rather have died.
With Yumichika
As he headed out the door he felt his heart ache. He knew that he had to do this but it didn't mean he liked it but he needed to know if it was true. He looked up in time to see Suki and Hikari walk up to him. They both bowed to him which left him speechless for a second. Them they both huged him.
"He does love you maybe not as much as you love him." Suki said gently smiling at him and handed him a black necklace with a sort of azure gem on it as he looked closer he realized it had the kanji for hope on it.
"You can use that to call for us if you need help or want to talk to someone." Hikari explained smiling at him.
"We already packed all your stuff for you to move if you need to. Which we hope wont happen! I know that that would make you very sad." Suki sighed she already knew that Yumichika wasn't sure what to do and now he knew what might happen to him after his death. The queen well use his powers like she has ours and make him an elemental.
"Don't worry it'll all turn out alright Yumi-chan!" They said in unison and Yumichika hoped that they were right. After all this was the only way he could find out if Ikkaku truly loved him. They smiled and slowly their figures vanished but he felt a happiness bloom in his chest and a hope for a better tomorrow.
"We'll be here for you Yumichika." Soon after the words were said they completely disappeared.
The next day Ikkaku was able to leave the hospital and walked home with Yumichika behind him. He knew that Yumichika had always walked behind him but now it made him feel stupid. He slowed down to match Yumichika's pace and walked next to him. They were silent for a long time. Until they reached the house and Ikkaku felt his chest constrict as he walked in all of Yumichika's things were packed in boxes ready to leave. He turned to Yumichika and saw fear and sadness written across that beautiful face.
"I'm not mad Yumichika." He whispered and watched as Yumichika looked at him. He was sad and about to cry.
"Don't lie Ikkaku. I'm sick of the lies. You are mad at me. You have been mad at me for so long that I have forgotten what it was like when you truly loved me." Yumichika told him and smiled at him sadly and walked of leaving Ikkaku shocked. Have I really been that bad Yumi.
He followed Yumichika and found that all of Yumichika's kimonos were on the bed with other things that the smaller man held dear and now Yumichika picked two of them up and turned to Ikkaku with them. It was the azure kimono that he had given to Yumichika and a baby blue one that had been the first thing he ever gave Yumichika the colors were duller them when it was new that was for sure. He watched Yumichika look at them sadly. He realized they were his favorites and was shocked when Yumichika walked over to him and gave them to him. He took them shocked and looked at Yumichika.
"I thought you might want something to remember our days together by. That is the first gift you ever gave me. It has made me happy for a very long time." Yumichika said lowering his head and letting a tear escape him. As he ran a hand over the fabric. He looked up again and continued.
"And this one is the new one you gave me twenty-nine days ago. It's beautiful. I'm sorry I never wore it. I want you to have them to remember what we had together from the being to the end." Yumichika said and turned away from him as Ikkaku felt his heart break. Yumichika walked over to a box with combs in it. Ikkaku realized he had made the box and two of the five combs and given him the other three.
"I thought that this was among the sweetest things you made for me. I love it very much but I don't want them to remind me of what I'm leaving behind." Yumichika's face was now tear stained but his voice never quivered. As he handed the box to Ikkaku. He smiled softly but it was so fake and full of pain. His hands were trembling as he set the box on top of the two kimonos on Ikkaku's arms.
"I'm so sorry Ikkaku for being your burden for so long. I'm sorry I tried to keep us together when you wanted nothing to do with me and I'm sorry I wasn't a better lover." Yumichika told him and turned away from Ikkaku and started sobbing. Ikkaku watched as Yumichika's shoulder started shaking and soon the slighter body was shaking from the strain of trying not to cry but as soon as Ikkaku tried to grab him Yumichika walked back to his things. Ikkaku had realized that Yumichika was given him what he held dearest and it hurt more them words could ever describe to watch Yumichika so broken and utterly defeated. Yumichika walked over to a little box filled with necklaces and bracelets. Ikkaku knew what he was about to get and couldn't believe it. As Yumichika pulled back a gold necklace with a heart shaped locket was in his hands.
"Please Yumichika keep that!!" Ikkaku begged. He had had that made for Yumichika nearly a hundred years ago with a painting of them both in it. He himself had one that he held dear and he knew that Yumichika loved that present he had had it made for their anniversary. Yumichika smiled at him sadly and whispered no.
"This is my most precious possession Ikkaku and I want you to have it. I don't want to know about back them anymore. Ikkaku it hurts too much to know how much I have lost these last few years. I don't want you to feel guilty because I'll only remember the times we shared in Rukongai and all the happier times too." Yumichika was crying as he handed Ikkaku the necklace. Yumichika turned away from him. Ikkaku let everything fall and watched as Yumichika turned and looked at him with a hurt expression. Yumichika felt hurt that Ikkaku hadn't cared about the things he was giving him after all he had carried all of them through Rukongai from how precious they were to him. They made up part of his lost world and Ikkaku didn't seem to care about that at all.
"I don't want you to leave Yumichika! I want you to stay here with me!" Ikkaku moved to the wall where Yumichika's Ruri'iro kujaku was and picked it up. He felt pain run through his arm and almost dropped it. It had felt as if his arm were been torn off. Ruri'iro was enraged that Ikkaku dared to touch him after all the pain that he had caused his master. He took the blade out of its sheath and walked over to Yumichika. He gently took Yumichika's hands and wrapped them around the hilt.
"Yumi if I can't hold you! If I can't love you how I should have all this year them do one last thing for me...... Kill me." Ikkaku stated it as if it were a normal request and watched as Yumichika's eyes went wide with shock and his mouth opened ever so slightly in mid sentence.
"NO! I can't." Yumichika mumbled a mixture of shock and hurt ran through his eyes as he looked at Ikkaku. I will do anything for you but that Ikkaku. I well never raise my blade against you with the intention to kill. For I love you with every piece of whats left of my heart. Hell I wouldn't raise my sword against you even if you were about to kill me.
"Do it Yumichika. What are you afraid of? I don't want to live without you." He stated pointing Ruri'iro kujaku's blade at his heart which he noticed was trembling in Yumichika's grip. I can't Ikkaku. Can't you see that this is hurting me, that it's breaking me. I don't want to be the one to kill you but if you ask it of me I might do it. I love you so much and whatever you want if I can deliver it them I will. Even knowing that I can't do this. I can't!
"NO I wont do it Ikkaku. Please don't make me do this. I would never forgive myself it I did kill you." Yumichika tried to get Ruri'iro Kujaku away from Ikkaku's heart but he sense that his sword was happy, happy to know that Ikkaku might die by his blade. Yumichika stared at Ikkaku and them threw the sword to the side and ran into Ikkaku's arms. Ikkaku felt the warm hands wrap around his neck and felt Yumichika pull himself closer to Ikkaku's body.
"I can't Ikkaku. I'll do anything but I can't kill you." Yumichika whispered into Ikkaku's chest. Ikkaku smiled he had known Yumichika wouldn't kill him even if he had hoped that Yumichika would try it. He wrapped his arms around Yumichika's small waist. He heard Yumichika's soft sobs and felt the tears that were still running down his beautiful face.
"It's okay Yumichika we're still together we can start all over again." Ikkaku whispered running a hand through Yumichika's soft hair he felt Yumichika nod against his chest. They stayed like that standing in each others arms for a long time until Yumichika looked up at Ikkaku.
"Ikkaku do you love me?" Yumichika asked a look of hope written in those beautiful features.
"Yes. I love you more them you can ever imagine." Ikkaku watched as Yumichika smiled. It was a real smile filled with love and happiness.
"Thank you for everything Ikkaku. I'm so glad that you do love me." Yumichika whispered with a yawn.
"Yumichika are you tried?" Ikkaku asked as he felt Yumichika pull Ikkkaku's arms closer around himself. Yumichika smiled at him and looked up.
"A little bit. Ikkaku can you hold me like this a little longer. It makes me feel safe and loved." How can something so little make you feel safe and after everything I did. Is this all you wanted isn't to be loved and held gently? You really are a confusing person sometimes but that's what I love about you.
"I'll hold you as long as you want after you eat something you've lost to much weight Yumichika." Ikkaku stated pulling back to find Yumichika pouting at him. He almost laugh this was his Yumichika, this was the man that he loved. He smiled as he lead Yumichika to the kitchen and looked around to see what they could eat. Yumichika moved to the kitchen and started making some soup for them to eat. Ikkaku grabbed a chair and pulled it closer to Yumichika. Ikkaku them grabbed Yumichika and sat down with him on his lap.
"Are you still mad at me?!" Ikkaku asked looking at Yumichika who had turned his head around.
"I was never mad! I was sad and confused but I know now that you love me!" Yumichika exclaimed.
"I'm glad we're back together." With a heavy sigh Ikkaku held Yumichika closer. He was glad beyond words. He just couldn't help wondering if things would have been better if Yumichika had talked to him about it or if he hadn't gotten so mad.
"What's wrong?" Yumichika looked at him confused.
"Just wondering how things could have been different." Yumichika looked at him with a look of agreement.
"Well we know we love each other. We know that our love is true!!" Yumichika exclaimed. Smiling happily as he looked at Ikkaku with tenderness in does beautiful eyes.
"Well you said it yourself all does years ago true love never dies!" Ikkaku whispered as they got up to eat. Even though their future was uncertain they would face whatever happened when it happened together as it should be.
Not my best work I know but that's it. On the bright side I am planing on writing a presequel to it on how this two met so look for it. PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE WHOLE THING!! THANK YOU FOR READING!