Chapter Ten
I cannot wait to go and see Abigail tonight. I still can't believe that Jasper came up with this wonderful idea. I was out on Jaspers balcony waiting until it was time to go. I loved it out here, everything was so peaceful, I could sit and watch the clouds go by, count the stars at night. I got up to 11,844,562 last night. I heard Jasper come into the bedroom, cross out onto the balcony, then come to lean against the railing next to me.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I said, "Are you ready to go?"
He grimaced slightly, and I was immediately wary.
"What?" I asked.
"Um, Bella," he said, turning his face away from me, "we won't be able to go tonight."
"Why?" I asked, mentally cursing the weakness I could hear in my voice.
"I have something I have to take care of tonight," he said.
"Oh, okay," I said, disappointment coursing through me. Jasper still wasn't looking at me, so I got up and left the balcony, exiting the room, stepping out into the hall way. As soon as I pulled the door shut behind me, anger began to take over my emotions. I was angry at Jasper for not keeping his promises, and I was angry at myself for relying on those promises in the first place.
I leaned back against the door, resting my head on the smooth painted wood and closed my eyes trying to keep my emotions under control. It was in this position that Alice found me.
"Hey, Bella," she said brightly.
I offered a smile in return, but must not have been very convincing, because Alice took a hold of my hand tugging slightly.
"C'mon," she said, "let's go to my room."
I let her lead me away from Jasper's bedroom door, and down the long hallway to another door on the right. How long was this hallway anyway? It seems like it goes on forever. I thought to myself wryly. I followed Alice through the door and into what had to be her bedroom.
Everything was very light and airy, but had a touch of elegance and sophistication about it, just like the woman who lived in it. I looked towards the bed, draped in gold and white, and saw that Rosalie was already sitting there waiting on us.
"Hello, Bella," Rosalie said with a polite smile.
"Hello," I murmured.
Alice bounced up onto the bed, and patted the spot in the middle, asking me to join them. I climbed up with some hesitation, and awkwardly settled myself between them.
"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" Alice asked.
"Not really," I mumbled.
"Bella, I already know what's wrong, I just think that it would be good for you to talk about it," she said.
"How do you know?" I asked, completely confused.
"Oh, I guess nobody ever explained my gift did they?" When I shook my head no, she continued, "I can see the future, Bella. I see the different paths of peoples lives based on their decisions."
"So when Jasper decided..."
"Yep!" she interrupted.
"Oh," I said lamely.
"Bella," Rosalie began somewhat timidly, "Do you think it would it make you feel more comfortable if I told you about why I was changed? Maybe you would be more willing to talk about what happened. I know, from personal experience, that it's better to talk about these things. It's easier to come to terms with them."
Before I could answer, Alice cut in, "By the way, Jasper's 'other things to do tonight' have something to do with you, and will make you very happy. And no I won't tell you, I just thought that you would want to know."
I nodded, feeling a bit better, and turned back to Rosalie, "If you feel comfortable telling me, it might help, but I'm not making any promises," I said.
"That's okay Bella," Rosalie said, "My past isn't very easy for me to talk about either, but you're my sister, and if sharing mine will help you get past yours, it'll be worth it."
I reached out and grasped her long pale fingers tipped in red, and squeezed tightly. "Sister?"
She smiled softly and said, "Of course."
"Thank you," I whispered.
Rosalie took a deep steadying breath, and began, "I was born in 1915 to Harold and Lillian Hale in Rochester. Mine was a happy life, I had everything I could possibly want. Toys and dolls as a child, pretty dresses and jewelry when I was older. My parents loved me, but they were what you would call 'social climbers'. They weren't happy with their station in life, even though, at the time, during the Depression, we were very fortunate.
By the time I turned 18 I had been taught, trained, and sculpted into the perfect wife, I was just waiting for the right husband. Now don't get me wrong, I wanted more than anything to marry, have children…..." she trailed off, her eyes unfocused, envisioning the future that she had wanted, but lost.
I sat quietly and waited for her to continue, but judging from Alice's expression, she already knew what was coming. After a few moments, Rosalie shook herself lightly, coming back reality. Suddenly her breathtaking features twisted into a sardonic smile.
"I was visiting my fathers work when I first met Royce King. He was everything I had been waiting for, my fairytale groom. Rich, handsome, charming; he swept me off my feet. Roses were delivered daily, and I was soon in love. My parents were thrilled, this was their gateway to bigger and better things. I was so blinded by my feelings, and what I thought was love, that I couldn't see that everything wasn't as perfect as it seemed."
"It was little things at first. Royce would choose my clothing, but he said he just wanted to give me gifts, wanted me to have the best of everything. He chose my hairstyles, but of course he was just giving me advice from his mother, who of course was up on the latest fashions. It began to escalade. He was there every moment of every day, he needed to know where I was at all times, every second had to be accounted for. I was cut off from my friends, from everyone I cared about except for my parents and his."
"I finally admitted that something was wrong when I broached the subject of children with Royce, and he informed me that we wouldn't be having any. He had been visiting my home, like he did most days, and I told him about the children that I wanted with him, my hopes, my dreams for them. He let me pour my heart out, must have seen the hope in my eyes, before telling me that he didn't want children, never had, and never planned on having any. I didn't have much say in the matter he told me.
I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces with every word he spoke. I fled the house, and ran to my nearest friend, Vera. Or at least I had hoped that she was still my friend. Vera had married a carpenter, a man who was below her station, and had been shunned by society. I had continued visiting her, trying to retain our friendship but Royce had put a stop to that."
"Vera welcomed me into her home, and listened to me talk for hours. I told her about Royce's increasingly controlling behavior, and his latest edict. She talked me through it all, and by the time I left later that night, I was ready to go home and tell my parents that I was calling off the wedding. I could not marry a man like Royce. I just couldn't."
"Night had fallen while I was at Vera's, and I set off towards home at a quick walk. I was nearly half way there when I heard someone call my name. I looked toward the sound, and saw Royce and three of his friends walking down the street towards me, leaning on one another, stumbling the whole way."
Rosalie paused again, her hand now clutching mine in a death grip, staring off into the distance again, her face twisted into a grimace of pain.
"When they reached me, Royce immediately scooped me into his arms, breathing heavily into my face with whiskey tainted breath. He attempted to press his lips to mine for a kiss, but I pushed against him, telling him that he was drunk, and that I needed to get home. He pulled away from me roughly, holding me at arms length, shaking me slightly, his friends chuckling around us,
'You walked out on me Rosalie,' he had slurred, 'I didn't like that, not. at. all.' his shakes were becoming more wild and violent. 'And now you're going to make a fool out of me in front of my friends?' By this point my hat had fallen off, and my hair was coming loose from the pins. I was quickly becoming nauseous and light headed by his erratic jerking."
'C'mon, Rosalie, gimmie a little kiss,' he had said. I told him no again, attempting to wiggle out of his grasp. His features grew dark, a shadow passing over them, then his face twisted up into a sick sneer. He flung me by my arms into the group of his surrounding friends."
'Go a head, boys,' he shouted, 'she's all yours,'
"He stood back and watched, with a sickening fascination, as his friends took turns raping and beating me. He leaned over me as his friends were stumbling away laughing, long enough to rip the engagement ring off of my finger, before he followed behind them, his own deep laughter trailing after him."
"I was laying on the cold stone of the street waiting to die, when Carlisle found me. He brought me back to the house that he had been sharing with Esme and Edward, and bit me, changed me to save me, much like Jasper did to you," she paused, fixing her gaze on my face again, and gave a sarcastic little laugh. "You know, Carlisle had hoped that I would be Edward's mate." She shook her head, "Edward took one look at me and dismissed me as shallow, and not worth his time."
Anger and indignation rose within me, and I wanted to know just who Edward thought he was with his pompous behavior. Rosalie must have sensed my anger, she squeezed my hand giving a sweet smile, "I found Emmett a few years later. He had been attacked by a bear in the same woods that I had been hunting in. I took one look at his face and picked him up, carrying him back to Carlisle who saved him. I don't think that this life would be bearable if I didn't have him with me," she concluded.
Rosalie and Alice both turned expectant eyes on me. They wanted me to tell them about my past. Was I ready for this? Could I trust these two women who I just met? Then I remembered one word that Rosalie said. 'Sister'. Yes, I could defiantly trust and confide in my sisters. Just as I opened my mouth, Alice let out a tiny growl of frustration.
"We're going to have to finish this another day," she said petulantly, crossing her arms across her small chest. I was about to ask her why when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in, Jasper," Alice said in the same pouty tone.
Jasper. Dieu. With everything that Rosalie had told me, I forgot that I was mad at him. Now that he was back though, and pushing the bedroom door open, some of my anger and disappointment resurfaced again.
He stood just inside the doorway, looking around the room with a concerned expression on his face, his hands tucked behind his back.
"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" he asked.
We all lied and shook our heads no, when what I really wanted to do was respond with some smart aleck remark. Where did that urge come from? That wasn't like me. Jasper focused his gaze on me.
"Would you come with me?" he asked, "I have something to show you."
"Sure," I said, rising from the bed and preceding him out the door. I led us back to his balcony.
"Why do you come here so much?" I heard him ask from behind me.
I shrugged, sitting down on one of the stone benches, "It's peaceful out here," I answered truthfully. "Now what did you want to show me?" I asked. I was still upset with him for canceling earlier, even if Alice said that he was doing something for me.
He didn't utter a word, he just brought one of his arms around to his front, and clutched in his hand was something that was very familiar to me. How did he do this?
All thought rushed from my mind as I snatched the soft pink blanket from him and crushed it to my nose, breathing deeply the scent of Abigail that still clung to the fabric. I didn't register Jasper sitting next to me, until I felt something solid in my lap.
I brought the blanket away from my face to look to see what it was, and the sheen of tears blurring my vision doubled. It was tantes jewelry box. I had been fascinated with it as a child, always getting into trouble when she would catch me wrist deep in what I then thought had to be millions of dollars in riches. I lifted the lid off the box slowly, running my fingers across generations of pearls, broaches, pins, things that I knew she held dear.
I looked to Jasper, "How?" I asked, "How did you do this?" His answer blew me away.
"Emmett and I went to your house," he told me. They went through so much trouble. I suddenly felt very guilty for being so angry. Then another thought occurred to me.
"But, how did you know?" I asked.
A smile flashed across his face, "You aunt caught us looking for your things," he laughed, shaking his head in amusement, "That woman is something else," he said with a chuckle.
"That she is," I said with a shaky laugh, I was still so overwhelmed.
His next words filled me with so much love and hope that I thought I would burst.
"Somehow she knew that you were with us. She said to tell you that she knew that you wouldn't leave Abigail, and that she would keep her safe until it was time for you to come and get her."
I launched my self at Jasper, flinging my arms around his neck. He had done so much for me. He had given me hope, a piece of my past, and a piece of my Abigail. The love swelled within my chest, and I fully expected it to burst open any minute.
"Merci, Merci, Merci," I whispered into his sweet smelling neck. I felt his arms come up to wrap around my waist and he pressed his face into my hair, "Your welcome." The love that I felt flowing from him was deep enough for me to drown in. I loosened my grip from around his neck, and leaned back to meet his eyes.
Gazing into his now completely golden eyes, I wanted to nothing more in that moment than press my lips to his. Without a second thought, I gave into my instincts and began to lean up towards him. Brushing my lips tentatively against his, I waited for him to respond. I didn't take him long, he brought one hand up to tangle in my hair and deepened the kiss.
My eyes fluttered closed, but as soon as they did, images of my old life began to flash behind my eyelids. What the hell is the matter with me? How can I be doing this, be feeling these wonderful things? All of my lust and desire shattered, and guilt and self loathing came to the fore front of my mind.
How could I think about another man this way after what Robert had done to me? I knew that Jasper was in no way anything like Robert, but this is still wrong. I shouldn't be feeling these things, Dieu, maybe I am defective. Why would Jasper even want me in that sense?
Leaning away from Jasper's wonderful embrace, I felt my bottom lip begin to tremble and my eyes glazed over with tears once more. I dropped my arms and wrenched myself away from this magnificent man, who was entirely too good for me.
"Bella, don't-" he began, but I gathered my things and quickly fled the room before he could finish. I fled back down the hall to Alice's bedroom, where she was already waiting with the door ajar and open arms.