Another letter Kenny knew was coming. Although, he expected this certain letter a little over a month ago.
In fact, Kenny hasn't received a letter since the two concerning his mom and sister. Ruby has since then invited herself to become a regular at the McCormick household and her and Karen were hired as cart pushers at the local mart in South Park. It's a bittersweet feeling, Karen and Ruby working. The extra money is used for groceries. Kenny and the girls eat like kings. Their favorite meal: frozen pizzas.
His birthday was last month. There was a celebration; friends came in from town to even wish him a happy one. Everyone thinks he isn't okay, isn't happy. They think his world is over. Ever since Craig has been gone, his family thinks Tweek can't handle himself without him.
Up until Tweek's party, Kenny thought the same thing. The first thing Kenny noticed when he walked into Harbucks a few Friday's back is the horrible use of streamers and balloons. Exaggerations, if you will. Kenny knew the decorations were at the hand of Bebe and Red because girls usually think you can never have enough.
Kenny arrived late, but only by an hour or so. The pizza was already cold, but the cake hadn't been cut yet, so Kenny still felt fashionably late instead of just horribly late. He made his rounds to his former classmates, now alumni, remembering each name and each place said alum was at now. He made sure to keep the attention off of himself and more about the person he was speaking with at the moment.
Really, it wasn't hard for Kenny at all to keep the topic off himself. No one cared about Kenny much and most of them probably assume he's doing okay or 'just fine'. Craig always thought it was funny that no one cared about Kenny's well being. He always blamed the front he claims Kenny puts on. Kenny tried explaining to Craig that this 'front' Craig speaks of is not a front at all. More like his natural element. The whole class could have gone to a school made of cardboard boxes and he still would've felt happy just being surrounded by people.
Kenny knows this isn't the case anymore. He isn't sure what caused the change, but he knows there's been a 180. It could be what Kenny thinks is the final departure of his parents, maybe through his packed warehouse job he's had enough human interaction in his lifetime, or maybe it's because Craig is gone. Ever since Craig has been gone, Kenny finds it hard to find happiness in people, let alone try to bring it out like he was known for in high school.
It wasn't until after the cutting of the cake Kenny finally gets the chance to see Tweek. He notices the blonde slip outside for a smoke. He gives him a moment to gather himself outside, adjust to the cold, then follows suit.
Tweek and Kenny have Craig in common. Had Craig in common. In high school Tweek was just as much of a wreck as he was in elementary school. The only thing rumored to be keeping him grounded was Craig. After the two fought in elementary school and they spent those weeks recovering in the same hospital room, the two were rarely seen without the other. In high school, the romantic rumors spread, but neither boy seemed to care.
Kenny likes making people feel good about themselves. It's hard to do that to a schizo paranoid, or whatever Tweek has. Whenever Craig would ditch Kenny for Tweek, Kenny always took the chance to take small jabs at what seemed like Craig's only weak spot. Thinking back on it now, Kenny feels pretty guilty about some of the remarks he made about Tweek. Kenny's jealousy is a bad thing.
Craig wouldn't get mad. If anything, he'd smile. He'd say, "Tweek is fine."
Kenny and Tweek don't greet one another; instead they just stand and smoke. He heard some girls talking to Stan and Kyle, telling them not to mention Craig or ask him about him. They said he could fall apart just at the mention of him. Taking a closer look, Kenny doesn't quite agree with them. He looks put together enough. His jackets always a little larger than needed, but that's more of a personal preference. Even when he thanked his guests for coming, Kenny thought that Tweek has lost some of his nerves that weighed him down all those years of school.
Kenny was halfway through his cigarette when Tweek puts his own out. Kenny knew he should say something to him, anything really. He wanted to be able to deliver the letter to Tweek without some huge surprise. However, he didn't want to ruin the kids birthday either.
"Do you miss him?" Kenny turned to see Tweek facing him, clear green eyes staring into his blues.
"Y-yeah. I do. D-do you?" Kenny found it funny that the roles seemed to have switched in just a few months. Normally, Kenny would have been the one to pop the question first, not caring if he put anyone in an awkward situation or not. Normally, Tweek would be the one tripping over his words. Normally, Craig would be there to call them both out on such uncharacteristic moves.
Tweek didn't get mad. He smiled. "Craig is fine."
I wrote a letter to Tweek. Well, I started to write a letter to Tweek. A few times. Some how they never sounded right. One would come out a little too happy, the other a little too sad. It's hard for me, Ken. Hard for me to try to show Tweek what I want to say to him on paper.
He's just always understood. He took me at face value. I think that's why I showed up at his door once I got the chance to step away a bit. My mom knew what was about to happen. Told me to make my rounds to say goodbye because soon, they'd be coming for me. Tweek was my first stop.
You were going to my next.
My last stop.
I have nothing really to say to him really. I had the world to tell you. Isn't it crazy how unfair things happen? Picked me up on my way to your house.
Tweek and I let our silence to the talking. We would just lie around and watch a movie, or have anime marathons. We even had our reading pace in synch. He was always a slightly faster reader, but that gave me time to turn the page and adjust my hand to the binding. Of course I held the book, ever try reading a book during an earthquake?
I just remember telling him what I did, and what my plan was. He looked more surprised that I had a plan rather than what I did. This was before Token turned into a snake. Before I knew about prison and the charges that the town of South Park really fucked me on. Told the court they didn't want to see a kid like me grow up in South Park with their kids. Said I was always a bad influence.
Bullshit.
I told Tweek not to worry. I said, "give me two weeks when I come home and I'll come say hello." He believed me. I believed me then. I didn't want him worrying about coming to the court and listening to the hearing, or having to see me in chains. I knew he'd flip. His parents came to say goodbye. They actually came to yell at me and tell me that I ruined their son's life. I don't blame them. They used to thank me so much for being his friend. For 'putting up' with him, they'd say. I told them once he said the same about them. That's when they stopped offering me a ride home.
I didn't see either of my favorite blondes on the day of my hearing. Only hate saw me off. Hateful mom, hateful sister, hateful parents that aren't even mine.
It wasn't until about my 3rd week in Colorado prison that Tweek came to visit me. I never had a visitor before. Thought it was a joke when they called my name.
Walked into the room and there he was. Tweek. I could tell he tried to look more presentable, had his hair slicked back and what not. Must've asked his mom to button his shirt and all.
He smiled and watched me sit down. The guards must've thought we were weirdos, just sitting in silence and smiling at each other like that. I was afraid to touch him, afraid he would just puff into a cloud of smoke, like he was never really there.
You should know that neither Tweek nor I ever have the right words. First thing he says to me is "You look like shit."
"So do you" was my response.
Tweek stood and hugged me. Didn't ask for permission, didn't even see his hands shake. One fluid motion. Something about his persona had changed.
"Tell me how you been," Tweek urged me to talk. Him and I never urged each other. We just let each other be.
I cocked my head to the side like a dog that had never heard that certain sound before.
"You get a jail girlfriend yet? Join a gang? I bet they don't know what to think of you Craig, you're scary as hell!" Tweek cackled a little.
I could see him surprised at how surprised I must have looked. His confidence was so… attractive. Got me thinking I was his crutch through his socially awkward years. Weird how times changes everyone in ways that you would never expect. Token was the nicest guy and look at him now..
You..
You and Tweek switched places it seems. I hope you still have that spark in you like the one Tweek found when I was away.
Which made me think. Why is Tweek visiting me when he looks so much better without me?
"What.. happened." The two words stumbled out.
"To me?" Tweek leaned back in his chair, leg crossed, arm across the back, giving himself the accusatory finger that should have been paired with my words. "I don't know," he leaned closer to me, "I stopped taking my meds once you left. After two weeks, I just kind of started crying for about two days straight, then I heard my parents talking shit about you, I just started yelling at them. Lost my fucking mind, locked myself in my room, then about a day or two ago got tired of how I was feeling and have felt this way ever since."
Wasn't sure how to take any of what he just said. Just kind of stared at him, then finally ruffled his hair and took a nice quirky chunk in between my fingers.
"It's you." We would always wonder if we'd be making it out of South Park alive, out of our ruts, we called them.
Tweek smiled softly. His smiles before were rigid and sharp, never knowing when either side matched the other. The smile he gave me then was soft, that fluid motion he's adopted again. "Don't act surprised this is how I am," he took my hand from his hair and held it.
I hadn't had anyone reach out to touch me since he reached for a hug when I left him that night that it all happened.
"You look good, Tweek." My voice scared myself. The longest sentence I had spoken in a while. Usually it's 'yes' or 'no'.
"I'm feeling good and that's real," Tweek poured himself a glass of water with solid hands. No shakes, not even in his eyes. Guess he didn't need his mom's help. He hands me the second glass he poured and we both notice how my hands are now the ones that are shaking. "You and me should kick it more than ever."
We spoke a little more about what South Park has been doing, I asked him about you, my mom, and Ruby. He sat the whole time and talked with such emotion and animation. I'd sit and listen to his words and I was loving it. I was proud, but more importantly I was happy for him.
The guard told us to wrap it up and so he stood and motioned for me to stand for a hug.
"I know you think now the times have changed. We're older, but we always stay the same." He pulled away from the hug and looked at me in the eye again.
"It's for you, you know. I kind of felt like… If I had been there for you more like you were for me, you wouldn't have gone off and done this to yourself." He talked so lightly of the subject I was almost offended, but I got what he was saying.
Before the guard pushed him out he pulled back into the room and said, "Remember me and you."
The next week I killed cellmate #2237RP and was sent to Wyoming Prison. Choked him. Choked him for calling an old man a twitchy faggot.
Everyone is changing besides me, Ken. Some for the better, some for the worse, but still; everyone but me.
"Give me two weeks when I come home, I'll come and say hello…
…Tell me how you been…
..Don't act surprised this is how I am, I'm feeling good and that's real
You and me should kick it more than ever…
…I'd sit and listen to your words and I'd be lovin' it…
…Now the times have changed, we're older but we always stay the same…
…Remember me and you…"
"More than Ever"- Rebelution