A/N: Ngh…never mind…

XP

"So you were…you were honest when you told him you would marry him." Keilic said in an undertone, having followed me away from the others to talk to me.

"Yes, I was. And even if I wasn't, what the hell gave you the idea that I would marry you instead?" I demanded.

"I just thought…maybe…that, perhaps the idea of being Queen daunted you too much and that…maybe…you'd rather be the wife of a noble rather than the prince." He answered, "I just…Kaida, I'm sorry I…I've never met a woman like you before, I know I shouldn't have done that, I told myself I wouldn't, it was stupid but…you really have no idea just how attractive a woman like you can be. You're just so, so different, and at first that's slightly daunting, it makes you want to pull back and just think of you as more of a boy than a girl…but after a while…it's just that, I…gods I'm not good at this…I really am sorry, I thought…but I know it was stupid, I promise I won't do it again." He told me, burying his hands in his face.

"So you didn't come all this way to bring me back to him, you wanted me for yourself." I said, just to clarify, and he nodded guiltily, looking away. "Keilic, I know you don't love me, not in that way. I can tell, you're simply in love with the idea of having a warrior for a wife. You watched the way the prince and I interacted, and you envied that, you wanted that for yourself, and you thought that the only way to get that was if you had me yourself. You and I, we're friends, friends, that's it. You've simply never known of a relationship between a man and a woman that was anything other than romantic or held family ties. At first the Prince and I were friends too, that's what created the bond between us, that's what you want. You want to marry a friend. You want someone with whom you can laugh with and pick fun at without worrying about them becoming offended. That's it isn't it? That's all this is, isn't it?" I asked.

Keilic stared at me, his expression one of surprise and wonder, "That's…that's exactly it…You…it's like you can see into my soul…like you understand me better than I do." He murmured.

"Yeah, I'm that way with most people. I'm a bit of an empath, that's someone who can read other people's emotions to an almost supernatural degree, and I always have been. It's something I was born with, but the point is that I'm not going to make a big deal out of this because I understand that it really didn't mean anything. There was nothing in that kiss, whether you realize it or not."

"So why did you react so violently?" Keilic asked with a grimace.

"Because, Keilic, I don't like being touched, at all." I answered, "At least, I don't like being touched too much by all but one person. Remember I told you I once kicked him because he hugged me? It's not really something I can help, but I have gotten a lot better at dealing with it thanks to him. Still, a kiss is an extremely intimate type of touching, so even if you did it in a brotherly fashion like on my cheek, I probably still would have kicked you in the groin." I told him.

"Oh…I guess I understand now…" He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I really messed things up, didn't I?" He asked.

"It's nothing that can't be repaired, don't worry. By the way, I've been giving the three of them some private lessons in the mornings, would you like to participate?" I asked him.

Keilic perked up immediately, "Of course!" He answered, but then he looked over at the encampment, and then back at me, "…Three?"

I smirked, "Uh huh, and Aizira's pretty good too. I don't think I've ever seen you fight, so I don't know whether or not she could beat you." I told him.

"Yeah…" He murmured, still staring at Aizira, who only just noticed and looked from him to me questioningly. I waved a hand across his face. No response.

"Hey, Keilic?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant with your child." I said.

"That's nice…"

"Actually I already had your child, it's Kassima."

"Uh huh."

"Wow, you really are out of it."

"That's nice."

"You're imagining Aizira in my outfit, aren't you?" I asked.

"Wh-what?! No, no that's not—what were you saying?" He asked, panicking.

I was laughing so hard my sides hurt and I had to stumble back to the campsite. I was unable to say what I was laughing so hard about, and Kassima didn't help when she said, "Funny man made mommy laugh!" And the reaction that followed courtesy of Keilic, to whom we had to explain that Kassima was not really my daughter, she just called me mommy.

XD

"Are you even trying!?" Aizira demanded, pulling on her hair, "You useless little bag of girly flesh! You can't tell your left sword from your right can you!? Fight like a freak'n man already!" She cried.

"Aizira! You're picking up my slang, I'm so proud of you!" I said, laughing as I came over to where she and Keilic were suppose to be sparring together, but apparently Aizira's armored leather was too much for him, and he couldn't concentrate on his swords.

"I—try—I…" Keilic blubbered, and Aizira let out a roar of frustration and stalked away, ranting about this being a complete waste of her time, and going over to interrupt the spar between her brothers so she could take one of them instead. Keilic, poor guy, had not been able to string two words together around her ever since that first night, and it had only gotten worse after he saw Aizira, in her leather outfit, fighting against me. I thought it was really cute, but Aizira was just getting more and more frustrated with him, and he really wasn't scoring any points this way.

Keilic gave me a pathetic look and mouthed 'help me'.

I laughed, "Okay, for one, you need to stop staring at her body and watch it like you might watch a tiger circling you. When you fight, she is no longer the object of your affection, she is your opponent. And unless you fight her for real, she's only going to think of you as a useless girly-looking pampered noble who can't fight his way out of a burlap sack, and to a girl like her, that's not really top on the list of what she's looking for in a potential husband." I told him.

"I heard that." Alzik muttered at my shoulder, "And I see what you're doing. You stay away from my sister, girly man, hands off or I'll kill you." He told Keilic, who paled.

"Oh just ignore him. He did the same thing to me when I was still pretending to be a guy, and he never really did anything about it either, just made threats." I told Keilic.

"Yeah, right up until I caught the two of you bathing together!" Keilic exclaimed, throwing his hands to the heavens, "What a nightmare! My own sister!"

"Erm…bathing?" Keilic exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"It was dark so I couldn't see very well, I thought she was a he, but then I saw—"

Thunk!

The two of us stared down at Keilic's unconscious form, and we looked at each other, Alzik looked quite alarmed. "Yeah," I said, "He's a virgin."

Alzik busted out laughing.

"Alright, what did you do to him!?" Aizira demanded, coming over and putting her hands on her hips and glaring at Alzik.

"For once, I didn't do anything but talk." He answered.

"He was telling Keilic about the time he caught the two of us bathing together and that's when he found out I was a woman, but it seemed to be too much for the poor guy." I told her.

Aizira sighed and rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in the air, "This is just pathetic!" She exclaimed, picking Keilic up in her arms, which she did rather easily to my surprise, and carrying him back over to the cart where Kassima was contentedly playing with a doll that Aizira had made for her during the trip. Kassima started giggling at the sight of Keilic, and Aizira was snickering too.

"Are you trying to set them up together?" Alzik demanded, putting his hands on his hips.

"Not really, but the moment I told Keilic that your sister was a fairly decent fighter, he sort of fell head over heels for her. I had nothing to do with that. Unfortunately Aizira just finds his antics annoying."

"Good." Alzik said swiftly.

"Would it really be such a bad thing if Aizira married Keilic?" I asked him seriously.

Alzik's shoulders slumped and he sighed, "I…I guess not…from what I can tell, he is nobility, right? He could take much better care of her than I…and she would be with you. You'd be cousins-in-law or something."

"Keilic's not very strong though…" Tormal said, approaching us and joining in the conversation.

"Well, we really don't know that, he just can't seem to concentrate around Aizira. I've never actually seen him fight myself, he may not be bad." I said.

"So, what, we're just going to have to ask Aizira to turn around and not watch so we can get a more accurate assessment of his strength?" Asked Alzik, looking amused.

I was about to retort, when suddenly I Saw an arrow being shot into the air, only to land at our feet this time, and when my vision became reality, I decided not to bother with it, but I was already ready for battle when it hit land.

"I'm sorry to break up this little gathering," Sneered a familiar voice as a comparatively small number of men appeared from over the sand bank, Malik, of course, in the lead. They were only ten or so yards from our location, and I wondered how long they'd been watching. I didn't think they had been watching at all, because Malik's eyes skimmed us all, resting for a moment on Aizira, who was now smacking Keilic awake, and only giving me a single glance. "I'm looking for an old friend, you're little traveling buddy Amon," He told us, "We have a score to settle I'm afraid, mind telling me where he is?" he asked.

Alzik and I looked at each other. I had since shed my guise as a man for both comfort reasons, and in case I was spotted by a cultist from the Order of the All-Seeing Eye. I would still stick out, but with a group that contained a girly-looking man, a small child with white hair, and a woman who could carry a man in her arms, I fit in well enough that I didn't feel the need to wear it until we got to India. As a result, Malik, of course, did not recognize me.

"Um, is this the part where we start laughing, or fighting?" Asked Alzik.

"I would personally prefer to start laughing, because this situation is, point of fact, highly ironic and very amusing." I answered. I then coughed loudly and said, using my male voice, "I'm right here Malik."

Malik's eyes bulged as he stared at me, no, he gaped at me, and I startted laughing. "Don't believe me?" I asked, I then pulled out the mask from thin air and pulled it over my head. His expression only became all the more comical, and most of his men were gaping at me similarly. "See, now this is the sort of thing that makes the entire charade worth it." I said, pulling off the mask and jerking my thumb at them. "Still." I said, crossing my fists in front of me and then slashing them down, bringing out my blades while I walked towards him, reverting back to my usual voice, "I'll be happy to settle the score once and for all, but if you're going to cheat again with your little dragon friend, I'm afraid that I will have to summon my own beast. I think you saw a shadow of one of them already, I have others, many of which you do not want to have to meet, ever." I told him.

"You, you're a woman!?" He exclaimed.

I stopped and stared at him, "No, what gave you the idea that I was?" I asked sarcastically, putting my hands on my hips, "Yes, dirt-bag, I'm a woman. You were defeated in a non-summoner battle by a woman who is stronger than you are. How's that for a kick in the groin?" I smirked.

He recovered himself, and then he grinned at me, a grin I knew was once directed at Aizira, "But this changes everything." He said in a husky voice.

"Uh no, it really doesn't. I am engaged you moron, to a man far stronger, far more attractive, and far less likely to be locked up because of severe mental issues than you are. And even if I weren't I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole anyway. I hate your guts, I'd rather have sex with a barn animal than you, if I ever had to see you naked I'd cut off your balls and jam them in your eye sockets, we're enemies because you're working under a man I hate and intend to see dead, and I'm sorry but I have a thing against associating in any positive way with megalomaniacs who think they're all that even though they're more than likely very small, if you know what I mean. That enough reasons for you, or should I go on?" I asked cheerfully.

"Ouch!" Alzik exclaimed, laughing hard.

"KAIDA!!! THERE IS A CHILD IN THE AUDIENCE!!! PLEASE KEEP THE AGE LEVEL OF YOUR INSULTS DOWN BECAUSE I AM NOT ABOUT TO EXPLAIN TO KASSIMA WHAT SEX IS!" Aizira yelled.

"Oops…" I said, grinning nervously at her, "Sorry!" I called. "Kassima dear, Mommy is saying some very, very bad things because this is a very, very bad man and you are neither to repeat them nor pay any attention to them, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Now, Mommy wants you to close your eyes because Mommy is about to do some very, very bad things to this very, very, bad man, and Mommy does not want you to see them until you are older, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Make sure you understand, this very, very bad man is going to start crying, but I don't want you to look, okay?" I added.

"Okay Mommy! I won't look!" Kassima answered, and she even climbed up into the cart.

I turned back and smiled maliciously at Malik, who was looking murderous, "She's such a good girl. Now, where were we?" I asked cheerfully, "Oh yeah!" I pulled out my blades again, "And, trust me, if you decide to summon your dragon again, it'll be worse for you." I told him.

"You're all talk." He snarled.

And, predictably, he summoned up the blue dragon. I looked up at it, sighed, and shook my head. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. Oh Monigan!" I said in a sing-song voice, pulling her up like a shadow next to me.

She gave me a murderous glare, which I completely ignored, "What now!?" She demanded.

"Do you like dragons?" I asked, jerking my thumb over to a very surprised looking Malik, and his dragon, who had paused a moment, also surprised by the sudden appearance of Monigan.

Monigan looked, she stared from Malik to the dragon for a moment, and then, almost in spite of herself, her anger melted away and a very malicious smile played on her lips, "Oh I love dragons!" She said cheerfully, "They taste just like chicken. Yum." She said, snickering.

"He's all yours." I told her. Her smirk became a very disturbing smile that went from ear to ear, literally, it looked like her face was about to split open, and she darted straight for the Dragon, who attempted to swipe her away, but didn't quite manage it.

With a feral, predatory growl, Monigan grabbed the dragon and threw him down onto the sands, she then pounced and, before it could get into the air, ripped one of its wings right off with a shriek of laughter, and then began clawing at the wound she'd made, as though wanting to see how big she could make it.

"Wow, I forgot just how gruesome she could be…" I said, "Oooo, that didn't work!" I said, wincing at the dragon's failed attempt to get away. "Oh yes, use fire, that'll hurt her, not!" I snickered, "Ooo, that's gotta hurt, oh! Was that his intestine? And there went his liver…and that was the spine. How can it still be alive? Hey Monigan, you think you can put it back together after this?"

"I can try, but to be a real challenge it's gotta be in enough pieces." She answered.

"And there goes its vocal cords." I said, looking over to see that Malik himself had just thrown up all over the sand and was being supported by two of his men, both of whom were not looking, but still looked green at my commentary. "You know, I did warn you." I said, "But you people just never listen do you?" I asked, unleashing my daggertail and wrapping it around his arm. He let out a cry of pain and I yanked him down to where I stood so that he landed at my feet. I slammed my foot down on his head, and he let out a gasp of pain as I dug my heel into his ear, "I think it's about time I prove to you that I'm not all talk." I said darkly.

"You don't mind if we don't watch, do you!?" Alzik called, and I turned to see that most of the others had all vacated to the cart with Aizira so they didn't have to see, and it would be a bit more difficult to hear.

"That's fine!" I answered, turning back to Malik, who had made a feeble attempt to get up, one that I shot down by pulling my daggertail free of his arm, an act which ripped it up quite nicely, and then cracked it on his back, creating a very lovely gash.

He cried out, "Augh! No, okay! Okay! You're not all talk! You're not all talk!" He exclaimed.

"Bet you preferred me as a man now, didn't you? I'm a bit more frightening as a women, aren't I?" I asked.

"You're a lot more frightening as a woman!" He agreed, "Just let me go, please! I'll never bother you again!"

"Are you crying already? Good gods, you're even weaker than I thought! What a joke!" I exclaimed, kicking him across the ground and slapping my daggertail down on the sands in irritation. He got up and tried to run, but I snatched him by his leg this time, and yanked him up into the air so that he actually flew over my head and landed hard behind me. "You are a very, very bad man, Malik," I said, approaching his shaking figure, "And this is what happens to very, very bad men."

"We're leaving! You can catch us up!" Alzik shouted at me, shaking his reins so Bano would start moving.

"You got it!" I called back cheerfully.

I suddenly had a mental image of Keilic moaning, "My cousin's in love with a sadist…" but I doubted whether he had recovered enough to have seen anything at all.

Maybe I was a bit of a sadist, but in my opinion, Malik was one of those who seriously needed a good hard swallow of his own medicine. I didn't intend to kill him. His men had already fled and Monigan had gotten bored of dismantaling his dragon, so it was now just the two of us.

And no one to hear him scream.

XP

A/N: Not in mood for FAQ today…Nothing wrong, I was just counting on a free day today to focus more on the story, but work called and they need me to come in today and tomorrow, neither days of which I was suppose to work, so I'm afraid there may or may not be an update tomorrow, we'll just have to wait and see if I can get another chapter written. One of the ladies in our department is on medical leave, so I might get a lot more hours seeing as now there's only THREE PEOPLE working in that department. Which is good, because I want a new computer, but which will likely cause delays in the story. Sorry, can't be helped!

Until next time!