"Spotlight, bad baby
You've got a flair
For the violentest kind of love anywhere out there
Mon amour, sweet child of mine, you're divine
Didn't anyone ever tell you it's ok to shine?" - "Bel Air" : Lana Del Rey.
Ana
I remained quiet. We all did. We just stared at one another, unsure what to say or when to say it.
Christian moved from me and began to walk toward Kate. She backed away, shaking her head.
"Kate..." He whispered.
Kate shook her head, wiping her eyes. I could tell she was trying so hard. So hard not to cry.
I looked down. I didn't know what to say.
"How long?" She whispered.
Christian frowned, "Kate...we didn't.."
"How long?!" She hissed.
"A few weeks." He confessed quietly.
I chewed my lip and looked up. What did I expect? That she wouldn't find out? That she'd be okay when she did?
I sighed and she turned to me, "Aren't you going to say fucking something?" She demanded.
"Kate, I'm sorry. I am. We didn't plan on this." I told her. It was true. It just happened.
She narrowed her eyes, "Is this why you tried to talk me out of asking him to move in?" She was getting angrier.
I shook my head, "No, that's not-"
"Shut the fuck up!" She looked away from me and back to Christian.
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
Kate started laughing. What the fuck?
"It's fine..." She shook her head and looked down, her tears forgotten, "I'm fucking your brother."
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Today was so fucked up.
How fucking dare she start crying and shouting when she was cheating herself!
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. She went out, probably to get drunk.
I turned onto my side and smiled when I saw his perfect face.
Kate finding out didn't stop us from being together. Only now we could be together without hiding.
I leaned my head on his shoulder and he moved to put his arm around me.
"You should get some sleep." He whispered sleepily.
I shook my head, I couldn't sleep. I was too wound up. Too annoyed.
"Let it go." He whispered, kissing my temple.
And so I tried. I tried so hard. I closed my eyes and banished thoughts of Kate out of my mind. Banished thoughts of her lies and double standards. And I fell asleep.
-
I was sitting in his lounge, nursing a headache when he padded in with two bottles of beer.
He smiled and handed me one. I took it gratefully.
We didn't speak for few moments. He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek.
"I have to go out for a few hours. Work related." He told me.
I sighed and nodded. Ever since Kate found out, he'd been totally wrapped up in work. I hardly got to see him. I thought tonight would have been different. But no.
"I'll be back soon. Promise." He whispered. He kissed me once and then walked out the door, leaving me in this big house alone.
I sighed and stood up, deciding I'd look around and explore.
I left the lounge and headed down the long corridor, turning right. It was his office. I bit my lip and pushed open the door. Nothing special. A desk, lamp, laptop, chair, pool table. I closed the door and went forward, there were a few doors. I opened one. The bathroom. I opened another one. A bedroom. His bedroom. I smiled to myself. It smelled like him. The bed was made and the room was tidy. Really tidy. His tie from earlier hung on the wardrobe handle and his jacket was laid across the foot of the bed. I left.
I tried to open the remaining door. It was locked. I frowned. Why would it be locked? What could possibly be in it that would make him want to lock it?
Maybe the key was in the office. I smiled to myself and returned to the office, searching for the key. I opened drawers and looked on the bookshelf. I was curious. Maybe I should have just waited until he returned and asked him, but my curiosity got the better of me. I knew this was wrong, but I didn't care.
I found it. In the last drawer of his desk. I smiled again and returned to the lockdoor, inserted the key and unlocked it.
I slowly opened the door, ignoring the slight creak it made.
I wasn't not prepared for what was on the other side of the door.
Christian
Kate was out of the picture. Thank fuck. I had saved myself the torture of breaking up with her.
I was on my way to Elena's. I lied to Ana, telling her I was going back to work for a few hours. I was a dick. A fucking dick.
I pulled up outside her house and killed the engine. I had to see her. I just had to. I had been craving her since the last time we were together.
I closed my eyes. I was seventeen again. Sneaking around, lying to people. I hated it. But I loved it at the same time. It was so fucking bittersweet.
I climbed out of the car and knocked lightly on the door. She answer quickly. I smiled. She smiled. I entered. She closed the door.
"Christian." She kissed me softly and went into the kitchen, "Whiskey?" She offered, pouring some into a small glass. I smiled and took it from her.
"Thank you." I whispered, downing it. It burned, but it was good.
She laughed and took my hand, led me up to the bedroom.
I was later than I thought. I got home at midnight. I left at seven.
Closing the door quietly, I walked through to my bedroom. Ana was cuddled under the duvet, sound asleep. I hated myself for doing this to her. She didn't deserve it. Cheating on her was not a good way of saying I loved her. I unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it to the floor, took off my jeans too and dropped them next to my shirt. I climbed in beside her. She stirred slightly, but not enough to wake. I kissed her temple softly and whispered, "I love you." before getting comfortable and closing my eyes.
The night replayed itself behind my closed eyes. My skin tingled from when she touched me, when she dug her nails into my hips, into my back, into my neck. Bittersweet. So fucking bittersweet. And I was a dick. Such a fucking dick.
"What time did you get in last night?" She asked, finally breaking the silence over breakfast.
Mrs Jones left the kitchen and began to clean. Not that she needed to.
"Around midnight. It took a little longer than expected, I'm sorry." I was sorry. But I wasn't going to change. I knew that.
She nodded and looked back down to her bowl of melon.
I frowned, "Is there something wrong?" I asked her. She shook her head and smiled. It was forced.
I could tell.
"What's in that locked room?" She asked.
I swear my heart stopped.