A/N:
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.
Chapter 10
Edward's POV
When I got home from school the next day Alice wanted to talk to me. I, of course, had no idea about what. I just was hoping that she hadn't found out about Jane yet.
"You wanted to talk to me?" I asked as I walked into her room. It was bigger than mine and she has decorated it lovely. It looked like it was from a magazine. Alice set on her couch reading. She nodded, put the book away she and pointed at the empty place next to her to tell me I should sit down.
I took place on the pink couch and waited for her to start talking. She looked at me seriously for a few moments and then started speaking.
"Yes. I wanted to talk to you Edward. About relationships." She smiled at me.
"Alice, please. If this is about a boy you have a crush on I am not interested in talking about him. Can't you do that with one of your female friends? I am sure they are a lot more interested than I am." I wanted to get up but Alice pulled me down on the sofa.
"NO! Please stay. Don't worry it isn't about a boy I am interested in. It is about a girl."
I was confused. I didn't know Alice was interested in girls? She had never told me and I, honestly, never suspected anything. I couldn't hide my confusion well because she started laughing at me the next moment.
"Sometimes you're really stupid my lovely brother. I am NOT interested in girls that way. You would have recognized. But I want to know more about a girl YOU know."
Oh. Oh. She went on.
"I heard you spend a lot of time with that tiny gothic girl from your class. Tell me about her. Are you two a thing? And how long have you been hiding her from me? I want to meet her. Why didn't you bring her home Edward? I am sure mum and dad also want to meet her. Oh, we could invite her for dinner on Sunday. I am sure I will get along with her well and" –
"Alice stop it." She was in the typical 'Alice-mode' again. She smiled, was full of energy and didn't stop talking. I knew she only wanted the best for everyone. But she sometimes was in her own world. She was naïve and thought that she could manage everything for everyone. Although her behaviour could be extremely annoying I still loved her.
I tried to explain her that I am not interested in Jane like she thinks I was. I told her that she is one of my best friends now but we are not a 'thing' like she called it and we will never be. I didn't have the intentions to tell her more about my friendship with Jane. I didn't want Alice to be aware about everything in my life. I needed some privacy as well.
I told her she, of course, can meet Jane if Jane is okay with it. I told her that Jane is not nearly close the way she is and that she probably won't get along with Jane well.
But Alice wouldn't have been Alice if she didn't believe in herself. She was sure she and Jane would become good friends too.
I ignored her when she was fantasizing about our future and how amazing it will be when (and not if) we are together in a gang again. Which, was in her opinion in the near future. I just let her talk for a while. It was quite funny watching her. She definitely was a little bit hyperactive. She was speaking with her whole body and her gesticulation always got more hectic when she was excited about something. I tried to hide my smile.
But then she suddenly changed topic. The new topic was Bella Swan. I immediately wanted to leave her room.
"Edward, I don't know why you don't text her anymore or why are you suddenly not a good friend to her anymore like you have been before we left. But I am going to tell you something." She no longer was hyperactive. She was serious again and she stared at me intensively while she was talking.
"You will not be an asshole to her; okay? WE were the one who left her. It wasn't her who moved away. So, stop acting like you blame her for us moving away!
She is and hopefully always will be one of my best friends. And she will visit me and I will visit her as often as possible. And when she visits me you won't act like that, okay? I don't want you to ruin my friendship with her just because you are too stupid to be a good friend to her. You will act like a gentleman and you won't ruin my time with her when she is here."
I was speechless. What was wrong with all the ladies in my life lately? I didn't know what to say, again. I have never seen Alice like this before. She f****** annoyed me! This was definitely too much. I will act like I want to. Bella had hurt me and I won't forget about it.
"Don't speak to me like that! You can't tell how to act, this is my life and you can't tell me anything. Get that in your head! I don't know what is wrong with YOU, but stop acting like a bitch Alice. You have no idea about how I feel so shut up and leave me alone."
I was furious and angry. I stood up and left the room.
"EDWAARD!" She ran after me.
"You are not going to run away this time. Talk to me!"
She followed me to my room. We stood at the hallway in front of the door to my room. I won't let her follow me inside. I turned around and looked at her in anger.
I gnashed my teeth and slowly responded. "But. I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. To. You." Alice tried to interrupt. But I cut her off.
"Leave me alone! Now." I turned around, went in my room and slammed it as fast as possible. She tried to lean against it from the outside, but she was too weak. Alice knocked at it loudly and screamed desperately. "Edward! Please! Open the door!"
I didn't respond. I put on my headphones, turned on the music and tried to calm down. Music always helped me to relax.
Can't explain
Nor can I contain
Control
You have on my soul
It's all I do
Baby I dream of you
I am falling down
When you're around
You're the only one…
What was she thinking? It hurt that she blamed me for everything. But the truth was it was all Bella's fault. She kissed Andy after she had kissed me. And that hurt even more.
Alice wanted me to act like a gentleman. Bullshit! I truly was a gentleman when it came to Bella. Although I changed for her, although I spent so much time with her, although we came along so well, she kissed Andy.
It all seemed wrong to me. She had hurt me so much. The way she acted after that stupid kiss with Andy. She acted like ours never had happened. She avoided talking to me. She avoided spending time with me.
And now I should forget all that and act like a gentleman? I hated Alice for what she had said before. She had no idea what her best friend did and blamed me for everything.
Yes, it was true. I barely responded to any of Bella's messages. But I just couldn't. It hurt too much thinking about her with Andy. And I couldn't act like nothing had happened.
Never gonna give you up
Now matter how you treat me
Never gonna give you up
So don't you think of leaving
Girl you treat me bad
And I know why
I've seen you running around with another guy
And you think if you hurt me
Then I'd go away
But I've made up my mind
You know I'm here to stay
Never gonna give you up
Now matter how you treat me
Never gonna give you up
So don't you think I'm leaving
Baby don't you understand
What you're doing to the man?
Do you see these tears?
They're in my eyes
There's no use in lying
'Cause I really cried
You think you're gonna take me
And put me on the shelf
I'd rather die
Than see you with somebody else
Tears ran down my cheeks.
I don't know how long I was lying on my bed. But after a while I thought about what Jane told me last night. "…go and get that girl back. It is not like you have anything to lose."
Maybe she was right. I didn't have anything to lose. And as I lay there on my bed that afternoon I realized something. I realized that I still was in love with Bella Swan. Even the distance between us didn't change that. I loved that girl. And I wanted us back. I missed spending time with her. I missed her cooking for us. I missed watching movies with her while I secretly was looking at her.
I called Jane and we met thirty minutes later at the small park. We listened to music, drunk a bit from her IceTea-bottle and this time I didn't need to ask Jane for the joint. After a while I told her about my afternoon and what I have realized.
She didn't interrupt me while I was talking. She listened and seemed really interested. It felt good talking about it. Jane also told me a bit about her life and her first love. I really appreciated it because I knew she had problems with talking about feelings, too.
At this evening I realized something else. I realized that our friendship was important to me. I realized that we just slept with each other to avoid thinking about our true loves. Jane didn't seem like that but she was vulnerable. And I realized we had that in common, maybe that was the reason why we got along with each other so well.
Jane tried to help me. She gave me advices how I should act about the whole 'Bella-thing'. She also told me that she was proud of me accepting my feelings now. It was a long time ago that I was that happy. Now everything seemed possible and I wanted to try my best.
Why must life just take away
Every good thing one at a time
I want it back
Well yes I want it back
Yes I want you back
Please give it me back
'Cause I want your love
A/N:
First song: The Black Keys – You're the only one
Second song: The Black Keys – Never gonna give you up
Third song: The Kooks – I want you
Music can cause and intensify emotions that's why I tried to put it in.
Tell me if you liked/disliked this chapter.
amelie