(Song lyrics in italics are Ain't No Sense in Love by Take That)
"And you are sure you're going to be alright? It's not too late to change your mind.." Finn said. He had loaded up his car and was ready to head off on his fishing trip, but was starting to have last minute doubts about leaving Meredith alone.
She smiled reassuringly at him. "I'll be fine - plus I have all the emergency numbers you left me on the fridge. Me, the house and Doc will still be here in one piece when you get back - I promise".
"Ok, ok. I love you." he said, kissing her before going to get in his car. As he drove off Meredith waved and then went back inside the house. She went upstairs and flopped herself down onto her bed. Derek hadn't replied and it had been two days. She didn't know why she was disappointed, she had Finn. She didn't really want to have an affair - she wasn't that person. Doc came into the room and lay down on the bed beside her.
"It's just because he was my doctor, he saved my life." Meredith said, stroking Doc's ears. "Don't look at me like that, it's the truth."
She continued to stroke him subconsciously, while staring up at the ceiling. That was the reason, wasn't it?
Derek spotted Addison walking down the corridor. He started to chase after her and eventually caught up.
"Derek, what are you doing?" Addison asked, as Derek grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the on-call room. When they were in there, Derek pulled her towards him and kissed her. After several minutes they pulled apart.
"What was that for?" Addison asked, looking shocked, but smiling.
"Is it a crime to kiss my wife?" Derek asked, leaning back against the bed. Addison smiled, and shook her head.
"It was just unexpected," she replied. "And I was on my way to see a patient!" she kissed him once more and left the room.
"Damnit!" Derek shouted once she'd gone, kicking the bed. Kissing Addison had not been like kissing Meredith. It was nice, but it didn't give him the same rush, he didn't feel like it was the most important thing ever with Addison. He had tried numerous times since his kiss with Meredith, even adding an element of spontaneity to see if it changed things. "Derek, you are an idiot."
"Talking to yourself again, Dr Shepherd?" Mark asked as he entered the room.
Derek glared at him and left the on-call room. He went to reception and asked for a patient's file. When he got it he flicked through it quickly, found what he was looking for and handed it back. He had finished his shift and was just about to leave when he saw Mark again.
"Mark, tell Addison I had to go do something. I'll be home later." Derek called as he left the hospital. He jumped into his car and sped off.
I'm afraid of the morning, I'm afraid of the light
You should come with a warning, you should be wearing a sign.
Oh, this is your beautiful trouble, so you better beware
One look and I was in right over my head.
He finally reached his destination. He got out of his car, slammed the door and walked up to the front door. He hesitated slightly before knocking, he knew he shouldn't be doing this. He knocked but there was no answer. So he knocked again. Then he heard someone come down the stairs and he saw Meredith approach the door. She noticed it was him, and stopped before reaching the door and unlocking it.
"I don't want a dirty mistress, I don't want to cheat on Addison, I don't want to get in trouble for kissing a patient, I don't want to get beaten up by the vet, but damnit Meredith Grey, I want you."
He put two hands on her face, looked into her eyes and then he kissed her.
Oh this misery, there's no place on earth I'd rather be.
'Cause you're not the one I need, you're just the one that I want
Makes perfect sense to me.
'Cause you're not the one I need, but you're the one that I want
There ain't no sense in love.
He felt the same rush he'd felt before - he felt like Meredith completed him. He didn't want this to end. Meredith was pulling him inside the house and closing the door.
I tried to stop myself, so many times
But I keep falling over, I keep on crossing the line.
Oh, the heart of a gypsy, and the soul of a stone
It's just a matter of time before you leave me alone.
Sweet misery, fill my heart up and pour it all over me.
Clothes were being discarded as they made their way up the stairs.
'Cause you're not the one I need, you're just the one that I want
Makes perfect sense to me.
'Cause you're not the one I need, but you're the one that I want
There ain't no sense in love.
Meredith stopped at the top of the stairs. "Are you sure you want this?"
It's not logical, that's the way I feel.
You travel underneath my skin, but it's hell out here.
There's no sense in love.
Derek brushed Meredith's hair back and held her face with both hands. He looked straight into her eyes. "I want nothing more." he said, before leaning in and kissing her again.
'Cause you're not the one I need, you're just the one that I want
Makes perfect sense to me.
'Cause you're not the one I need, but you're the one that I want
There ain't no sense in love.
They finally reached the bedroom, and Meredith closed the door as they went inside.
Derek wandered down the stairs and into the living room where Meredith had directed him to go, buttoning his shirt up as he did. She had made him leave the room as she got changed, suddenly shy around him. He looked around and noticed some pictures on the mantelpiece. There was a picture of Meredith and a girl he didn't recognise. They looked similar so he assumed they were related, maybe her sister. Meredith was smiling - the smile that made him feel funny inside. He smiled as he looked at it. Beside it there was a picture of Meredith and Finn at a party. Derek picked it up. They were looking into each other's eyes grinning, seemingly oblivious to the camera.
"That was our engagement party," a voice behind him said, making him jump. He guiltily put the picture back on the mantelpiece and turned around. "It was a surprise"
"Who is this?" Derek asked, pointing at the picture of Meredith with the girl.
"That's Lexie," Meredith replied. "My sister."
Derek nodded and then moved to sit down.
"And this," Meredith said, picking up another picture of her and Finn. "This is the night he proposed. When he first asked me out, I said no," Meredith continued, smiling at the picture in her hand. "But he was persistent. So, I eventually relented, and turned out it was the best decision I ever made," she sighed, running her hand over Finn's face. "And then I go and do this."
At that she set the picture back down and went and sat opposite where Derek was sitting. Neither spoke for a while, but instead just looked at each other.
"I have been married for eleven years. I have never cheated on my wife, not even come close," Derek said, breaking the silence. "And then you came along."
"I'm sorry," Meredith replied. "I'm not the type of girl who cheats on her boyfriend - I may have been with a lot of guys, but I don't cheat. What are we going to do?"
Derek contemplated this for a minute. "We are two people in two happy relationships. We had a lapse of judgement, we made a mistake, but we shouldn't ruin those relationships. You are a very special woman, Meredith Grey, you're just not my special woman. I love my wife and you love Finn. We don't cheat."
"But we did just cheat," Meredith replied, tears stinging her eyes. "You came to my house…"
"I shouldn't have done that," Derek replied, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, I truly am - it was a mistake"
Meredith shook her head in disbelief and stood up. "Get out," she said softly, roughly rubbing her eyes and trying to prevent herself from crying. "You perform life saving surgery on me, you flirt with me, you KISS me, and then you come to my house and we… and then all I…" she pointed towards the door. "Just get out."
"Meredith, I…" he said, standing up and moving towards her. She took a step back.
"You can't just USE people," Meredith retorted. "Now get out of my house."
"I didn't mean…" Derek replied but was cut off by Meredith stepping towards him, pushing him towards the door. "I'm sorry."
He stepped out onto the doorstep and turned to face Meredith again, but it was too late as she closed the front door. He heard it locking and he sighed walking back to his car. Inside Meredith had returned to the living room and curled up on the sofa, hugging a pillow close to her and finally letting the tears she had been fighting fall. She was beginning to think he had done something to her brain when he had operated, making her do stupid things like fall for his charms. Ever since the night they had talked in the hospital, she had felt a weird feeling inside her. Something she didn't even get talking to Finn. And then at her check up she had inadvertently kissed him which had turned into a real kiss. And tonight he had turned up on her doorstep and they had committed the ultimate betrayal. To top it all off, he had instantly called it a mistake. She jumped as the phone rang in the hall, interrupting her thoughts but she didn't have the heart to go and answer it. She heard the answering machine message and then a beep.
"Meredith, it's me. I just wanted to check you were OK. I'm sure you probably are and hate me for checking up on you. Just wanted you to know I love you. See you soon"
Good, sweet, Finn. He didn't deserve all this.
Outside Derek pulled over at the side of the road in his car. He had just cheated on his wife with a woman he barely knew, and then had told her it was a mistake. He hadn't meant to say it was a mistake, even though it was. He and Addison had been married for eleven years and he was risking throwing it all away for a woman he had known for just over a month. But he couldn't help but feel that maybe it had been worth it.