Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and plot stories. Hope you enjoy this latest chapter.

A Sorta Date

Thorin said a prayer of thanks for giving him a son as smart as Frodo a number of times after his secretary secured reservations at the resturaunt for them, working her magic on whoever was in charge of that sort of thing at Rivendell. Either way Bilbo had been ecstatic when he'd told him where they were going for dinner, all but jumping with joy in fact, and he'd even got a quick kiss out of it before the other man had turned his attention to worrying about clothes and whether or not he and Frodo had suitable attire at the house. And thanks to Frodo Thorin wasn't even surprised when Bilbo made it absolutely clear that they would have to go back to the house first to change, simply nodding and assuring him that they would leave work a little early so that there would be time to do so.

More brownie points for him.

To earn more points he didn't say anything when Bilbo insisted on picking out his clothes for him when they got home either, since apparently Bilbo didn't trust him to know what was appropriate to wear to a fancy restaurant of this calibre. So instead of arguing Thorin opted to go along with it on the condition that Bilbo helped him take the suit off once they got back to the house, which Bilbo had agreed to with a definite gleam in his eyes before going off to help their son get ready too.

In both their opinions Frodo looked absolutely adorable in his suit and little bow tie, and Bilbo always looked good in a suit as far as Thorin was concerned as he gave his ex a thorough once over once they were all ready to go. There was something about seeing Bilbo all buttoned up and turned out that made him salivate for the time when he could pop those buttons open and turn Bilbo into a well ravished wreck.

He smiled the whole way down to the house's main level just thinking about later that night.

They'd barely left the stairs on their way out when Bilbo's phone went off, a startled look crossing his face before Bilbo yanked his cell out of his pocket and actually screamed into the phone. "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU BLOODY BASTARD?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN ABOUT YOU?!"

Not waiting for a response Bilbo continued to ream out the person on the other end thoroughly enough that Thorin found himself in a complete role reversal, needing to cover their son's ears so that Frodo didn't hear the foul language being used by his other parent.

Eventually Bilbo did allow the other speaker the chance to say something, and from the one side of the conversation Thorin could hear he gathered that Bilbo's friend Beorn had finally called back, having broken his last phone and gone hiking in Scotland in a spur of the moment type trip he'd forgotten to tell Bilbo about.

Bilbo was not pleased or pacified to say the least, and to be a complete arse about it now that he finally had Beorn on the line Bilbo refused to tell the other man what the emergency was other than to say that if he saw a pale man who looked like a cross between a goblin and an alien, Beorn was to assume the man might try and kill him. That Bilbo also added the fact that he and Frodo were currently staying with Thorin for the time being was something Thorin found interesting, particularly when he was pretty sure he caught a few swear words coming from the phone in response to that news.

After that a few more words were spoken on either end and then Bilbo was ending the call with a twitch under his eye that Thorin knew mean Bilbo was still angry but it was probably safe to remove his hands from Frodo's ears.

Looking up at his papa Frodo grinned and giggled at him. "He sounded like you when you dropped that big hammer on your foot."

Nodding in acknowledgement, he'd bribed Frodo very well that day not to tell Bilbo the new words he'd learned , Thorin would have ruffled the boy's hair if Bilbo hadn't styled it, contenting himself with a fist bump before smirking over at Bilbo. "Normally swearing like that's my forte, not yours."

"As long as we've known each other, of course I've picked up a thing or two from you besides that-." Just catching himself before he mentioned something Thorin did with his tongue while they were shagging that drove him absolutely mad, Bilbo cleared his throat and then informed Frodo that Uncle Teddy Bear would be coming to see them tomorrow.

"Yay!"

While their son did a little happy dance over that Thorin leaned in to ask just what Bilbo had been about to say about other skills he'd learned from him. Judging from the man's reaction, Thorin had a pretty good idea what the nature of the talent was, he just wanted a little specificity to use against Bilbo later.

"Never you mind."

"Oh but I do."

"You two are being funny."

Looking down at Frodo, who was not at all used to them being all couple-y, much less around him, Thorin and Bilbo weren't sure how to respond to that, especially since they both were cynically thinking that it was only a matter of time before they went back to their usual, slightly strained ceasefire and nothing more.

"Adults are funny sometimes." Bilbo told him finally, before holding out his hand. "Now we've got a restaurant to get to, don't we?"

Not nearly as thrilled at the idea of going out as he was that his parents were smiling at each other a lot more now that they were living with Papa, Frodo smiled back anyway since he knew how happy his daddy was to be going to the fancy restaurant. He didn't really like fancy places himself, the food always looked weird and there was never enough of it, but it made his daddy happy and that was what mattered.

Plus he was going to ask his papa if soon they could go to McDonalds as a reward for saying they should take daddy out to dinner once daddy wasn't around to hear them. Papa liked McDonalds too.

)

An observant man, not to mention one that knew his ex and their son well, Bilbo was well aware of the fact that both would much rather be eating a pizza or take out at home than dressed up in a fancy restaurant eating even fancier food. The fact that Rivendell was a vegetarian restaurant was also a strike against it, at least in Thorin's books, but there were plenty of dishes out there where you would never know you weren't eating meat unless told so, not that Thorin believed that either. Thorin was basically a carnivore at heart, who only ate green things because he was aware of their necessity in order to continue living. It had amused him when they were dating, Bilbo thought to himself as he perused the menu, he'd always gotten a thrill out of finding new ways to make Thorin eat healthier without the idiot knowing.

Glancing over at his son, who was playing with his silverware, Bilbo was glad that Frodo wasn't resistant to trying new foods or vegetables in general. Getting boys their son's age to go to fancy dinners was hard enough without the tantrums that could come when said boy found out there were no bangers and mash on the menu.

"Just order me something you think I'll eat." Setting his menu down and as far away from him as possible, Thorin had no intention of picking it up again. If he had to read one more flowery line about things being infused or bathed in something he was going to lose what little appetite he had.

Not really surprised Bilbo just nodded in agreement before asking Frodo if the boy knew what he wanted to eat.

"I'll have what Papa's having."

Lips twitching Bilbo smiled dryly as he thanked them both for putting up with his taste in restaurants. He knew what a trial it was for them.

Looking up from his silverware, which had neat designs on them, Frodo gave his daddy a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Daddy. It's cause we love you."

Forcing himself not to look in Thorin's direction, Lord only knew what expression the man was making at the moment, Bilbo thanked Frodo the sentiment before turning his full attention to finding the perfect dish for his boys, since they were humoring him so kindly.

"The fact that you read and understand pretentious crap helps too." Thorin drawled out, smirking at him when Bilbo glanced up to meet his gaze with a scowl. "That menu could have half as many pages if they weren't so determined to confuse the poor bast-person having to read it."

"If I let you pick where we're having for lunch tomorrow will you stop abusing the menus?"

"Possibly."

"Possibly?"

"I don't like to make promises I can't keep." Thorin pointed out. "And there's still dessert after this to get through."

"You love dessert."

"Normally, yes. But this is Rivendell."

Rolling his eyes Bilbo briefly looked heavenward as he asked the powers that be what on earth he was supposed to do with this man.

"I'll think about that and get back to you before the night's over."

Cheeks coloring up a little in reaction to the look Thorin was giving him, oh but he knew that look very, very well, Bilbo had no doubt as to the nature of the things Thorin was going to suggest he did to him later. Thank heavens Frodo was with them but was too young to understand the fact that he was behaving better than his papa at the moment.

"Daddy?"

Happy for a distraction from his now very inappropriate thoughts Bilbo gave Frodo his full attention.

"Is Uncle Teddy Bear gonna stay with us at Papa's when he gets here?"

Jaw dropping a little Bilbo belatedly realized that Frodo had a very good point. In the past Beorn had always stayed with them when he was in the city, and was likely thinking this time would be no different since he'd refused to give the inconsiderate prat details about what was going on earlier out of pique. But there was no way on God's green earth that Beorn could stay at Thorin's, the two would try to kill each other. Possible succeed if he wasn't around to knock their heads together.

"No, Darling. He won't be staying with us. We'll have to figure something out depending on how long he intends to stay." Which could be for a very long time since there was no way in hell Beorn would ever trust Thorin to keep him and Frodo safe. Oh but the shite was really going to hit the fan tomorrow, Bilbo silently bemoaned. In so many ways.

Just the thought of what was to come nearly killed his appetite.

But he was both a Baggins and a Took, which meant it took a great deal more than the thought of the two arses beating each other to a pulp to completely kill his appetite, especially when the appetizers he'd ordered arrived.

"Let's eat then."

Faced with food Frodo and Thorin agreed to that even though they left the weirdest looking stuff for Bilbo, not that he minded that in the least.

)

The next day saw Thorin watching the clock as intently as a cat watched a mouse hole, mentally counting down until his son's 'Uncle Teddy Bear' was due to arrive. Or when Bilbo said he'd be arriving, Thorin not exactly trusting the other man's word since it was obvious Bilbo was dreading introducing him to his friend. But he'd informed security that he was to be alerted when this Beorn fellow arrived or Bilbo tried to leave, so overall Thorin was confident that the two wouldn't be able to meet without him knowing about it.

And if he'd left Bilbo in his bed an hour earlier than he needed to that morning so that he could use his at home gym, specifically his punching bag, well it was always wise to be prepared when meeting someone who apparently hated his guts.

Hearing the sound of raised voices outside his office, always a good sign, Thorin glanced away from his time watching to see his sister and nephews through the glass. Given that Fili was sporting a black eye and Kili was looking a little bruised and battered as well, Thorin had a pretty good idea why the boys weren't in school even before his sister wrenched open his office door and all but pushed her offspring into the room while ordering then to explain to their uncle how they'd come to be suspended from school yet again.

Giving silent thanks that Frodo was so much easier to handle than the boy's cousins Thorin sighed and got out of his chair, coming around his desk to get a good look at the two hooligans he called family.

Naturally the boys both had plenty of excuses for getting into the fight, though when he cut through all the bullshite they were shovelling it became pretty damn obvious that the fight had originally started because some arses at their school had been giving them grief about their height. A fight he knew well, being a Durin. The men in their family tended to be on the short side, he himself was actually abnormally tall for a Durin even though that only put him at average height in the grand scheme of things. And while he'd learned to accept the fact that he'd never be as tall as he would have liked the two boys in front of him weren't there yet. Not nearly there yet.

Thankfully he didn't have to lecture them again about that point since his sister might have brought Fili and Kili to him under the guise of getting him to give them a talking to, but Dis had never learned how to keep her mouth shut. Particularly, Thorin thought with hidden amusement, when it came to lecturing the boys and so as per usual he gave up on talking after the first couple minutes of her interrupting and simply settled for giving the two scowling looks while Dis did all the actual work.

Not that it would do the two much good, they had a Durin's thick skull on top of the lack of height, but trying to tell Dis that, again, would just put him in hot water too.

As it was he got a death glare from her when he dared to head over to pick up his phone when it went off.

"It could be important." And as it turned out it was, Dwalin on the other end, letting him know that Bilbo's friend had arrived and was currently stepping into the elevator as they spoke. That Dwalin wanted to know if he was sure the man was on their side intrigued Thorin enough to ask why he would ask in such a wary tone of voice.

"Because if I'm any judge, and I am, he's not a man you want to be on the bad side of."

"I'll keep that in mind." Leaving out the fact that he was already on the man's bad side according to Bilbo and Strider, Thorin thanked Dwalin for the call and then hung up, announcing to his family that they'd have to continue the argument when they saw each other tomorrow. There was someone he needed to meet concerning the situation with Bilbo. He'd show them out since he was going in that direction anyway.

Dis wasn't thrilled that her boys were getting a stay of execution so to speak, but she couldn't argue that her nephew and Bilbo's safety wasn't more important that Kili and Fili getting lectured, especially since neither her nor Thorin's words ever got through really well.

For their part Fili and Kili were curious to meet their honorary uncle's friend, particularly when they heard who it was. They'd never met Frodo's Uncle Teddy Bear before, but their cousin had told them enough that both teenagers were sure that the first meeting between the man and their uncle would be interesting.

And right the two were for once, the four of them arriving on the scene just in time to see Bilbo literally lifted off his feet to be hugged and then kissed briefly on the mouth by a mountain of a man who had all four Durins tipping back their heads to get the full impact of 'Uncle Teddy Bear'.

Beorn Carrock was indeed a bear of a man, towering over everyone in his vicinity and with a hard muscled body that suggested he worked it hard and knew how to use it. The well worn clothing he wore hid the exact extent of the man's musculature, but not the fact that his neck was completely tattooed and his ears featuring stretchers and a couple of earrings on the upper shell of said ears. There were studs highlighting the man's eyebrows as well, the man's dark hair and beard closely trimmed to further frame a face that was arrestingly handsome despite all the adornments.

"Check out the tats." Kili breathed out in admiration.

"He picked Bilbo up like he was nothing." Fili added, terribly impressed by that.

Dis made a purely feminine sound of appreciation, while Thorin decided that he wasn't going to like the man currently glaring over at him any more than Carrock apparently liked him.

In fact, he had a feeling they were going to hate each other quite a bit. Especially if the bastard didn't turn Bilbo loose right that second.