It felt like an open wound, and only seared the knowledge deeper. Until the rest of the Autobots laid eyes on Optimus's battered shell, there was still the merciful distance of disbelief. It shattered when the slow cavalcade rolled over the hillside, and down to the large, flat piece of land. Ironhide wasted no words or time in summoning them to transport their leader and comrade. They had come in a strange, mournful parade, Ratchet and the twins leading. Bumblebee was trailing behind with Sam and Michaela. It was clear that the humans were torn and uncertain about showing their support, and reigning in their intrusion. Sam looked miserable with guilt, as Michaela draped an arm over him, a futile attempt to comfort. Bumblebee chirped some soothing music, and Sam pat his dashboard in silent gratitude for the understanding.
Bumblebee circled around and parked from an angle where Optimus would not be so visible. He opened his door, and waited for the humans to exit. Sam's shaking hands were still gripping his steering wheel. Michaela pursed her lips as she turned to him, gently cupping his chin, forced him to look into her eyes.
"Sam. This is not your fault. You didn't do this." He was already shaking his head, and opening his mouth to spew more self-revulsion and negation. She silenced the flood of recrimination with a desperate kiss. He shuddered when she pulled away, her eyes searing and waiting. "This isn't your fault." She said steadily, her hand already on the door latch. Bumblebee rumbled encouragement and lurched forward. Sam managed a quivering, tired smile of reassurance as he turned to her. "Thanks." He whispered. She gave him a knowing, coy smile and an affectionate eyeroll as she exited the car. Sam lingered, tense and drawing a shaking breath for strength as he lay hands on the dashboard.
"Thanks, Bee, for helping me through this. You're a pal." Bumblebee rumbled in answer, as Sam finally got out.
Lennox tilted his head in acknowledgment as Sam and Michaela joined him in his dubious vigil. He had maintained a respectful distance from Optimus's corpse, and was clearly at a loss as to what to do now. Ironhide had said nothing in reproach, or even a hint that the humans were unwelcome, or intruding. Lennox narrowed his eyes at Sam and Michaela, and scowled when he saw the damage. Sam looked like he had been through hell, and back, bruises, cuts, torn clothes. Michaela looked worn and resigned, from the tired, protective way she kept glancing at Sam.
"You alright?" He asked quietly, as Sam only shook his head and Michaela apologetically shrugged. "What's going to happen now?" Michaela asked.
"Galloway's been demoted, and I've been appointed to his position." Both of them looked at Lennox in surprise as he hitched an awkward shoulder. "I don't know what's going to happen….but at least they can pay their respects to Optimus without any more interference. " Lennox grimaced at the violation they had already endured with so much patience.
There were no words spoken as the Autobots silently formed a small, protective cluster around Optimus's remains. Together, they all knelt to the earth, flanking each other as they bowed their heads. Ironhide's voice rang out, clear and strong and ravaged with emotion.
"Optimus Prime would have never wanted us to be united in the cruelest way: a shared sense of loss. Saying farewell to our brother, friend, leader, and loved one is not the way that any of us imagined his dream being achieved. And, yet, humans and Autobots now grieve together, because of him. He died the way he lived: defending those he loved. And, were Optimus given the choice, I do not believe he would have chosen another ending. So, now….we are left behind, with the unanswered questions, and memories. As brittle as this grief may be, I consider it a small price for the honor of knowing Optimus. Farewell, old friend. Your sacrifice was not in vain. May you rest until the day…all are one."
The humans were in tears as Ironhide fell silent. The Autobots rose, and as they did, lifted the corpse reverently. Gently, they held him aloft, careful to keep the limbs from undignified dangling, to not disturb the battered wreck any more. Ironhide cradled Optimus's head, shivering at the cold, dead sensation. True, they did not have flesh, but once the circulatory regulators ceased working, their bodies grew cold like a human's.
If there was any doubt this was a horrible delusion, it was viciously erased when Ironhide forced himself to peer down at the agonized, empty face. Snarling, he groped at the visor mechanism on the side of Optimus's jawline. There was a shrill creak of metal as the battered thing slid into place, shielding most of Optimus's shattered mouth and covering the lost eye socket. It was a bit less excruciating to ignore the brutality when it was concealed. Optimus now looked more at rest.
Ironhide waited, and the Autobots nodded. By unspoken agreement, they turned as one, and began the longest, saddest journey of their lives: carrying their leader to his resting place.
Sam raised an eyebrow to Lennox and Michaela. Ironhide caught Bumblebee's anguished look at the humans. Gently, Ironhide tilted his head in their direction, and quietly said, "Bring them, Bumblebee."
Bumblebee gave him a look of gratitude before he transformed. Sam, Michaela and Lennox were quickly seated. Bumblebee kept a slow lurch behind the sad procession. The Autobots made the journey back to the Hangar unhindered, their burden only made bearable by sharing its weight.
Ironhide did not flinch or waver as the unwelcome memories came unbidden. It was of a conversation that he and Optimus had. It had seemed so random and unnecessary at the time, but now, it was painful and poignant.
It was the day that the Autobots arrived at the human built hangar. It was a massive concrete bunker, that had several rooms large enough to accommodate their size. It was hardly home, and the stench of the humans was almost unbearable. Still, it was far better than remaining in stasis outside, and it offered shelter from prying eyes. With its metal interior, and various mechanisms, it was the closest thing to "home" any of them could hope for. Optimus had silenced the whining with a grimace of irritation, and he sighed in understanding.
"I know that these accommodations are not ideal for any of us. However, we have little choice but to accept them with grace and make the best of them. The humans are trying to accept us. We should at least do the same."
So they settled into their new "home." Gradually, when they became accustomed to the planet, the Hangar became familiar, and even comforting.
It was a cold day that Ironhide found Optimus in a rare moment of free time. Optimus stood, contemplating something that made him look both very burdened, and alone. Ironhide scowled in concern, unable to decipher what could cause such distress. Finding no visible cause, Ironhide hesitantly halted, wondering if it would be less intrusive for him to simply continue on his way. He stopped when he saw Optimus shutter his optics and lay a weary hand over his helm. His head drooped, the bitter sigh escaped as if under a tremendous weight.
"Optimus? Is something troubling you?" Ironhide regretted the invasive question as soon as it left his mouth. Optimus pivoted sharply, startled.
"Forgive me, I did not mean to interrupt you." Ironhide said apologetically. Optimus's voice was tired and polite as he answered, "You did not interrupt me, Ironhide. Thank you for your concern."
"It is not my place to know your thoughts, Optimus, but if something troubles you, might I be able to help?"
Optimus jerked sharply at the question, his optics narrowing at that. There was a long silence, before Optimus finally answered, "Please understand, Ironhide, that there are some burdens that are not meant for anybody else to bear."
Ironhide flinched at the sad finality in his voice, as he warily gazed around the vast, empty room that Optimus was in. It was the largest room in the Hangar, a cold, sterile place with shining metal walls and a huge door that would seal it away from the world. It had been installed, ironically as a shelter against an attack. The Autobots found it to be too eerie, and uncomfortable to stay in it for any length of time. The shining walls, the alien stench of the place made it almost unbearable to stay in. The Autobots left it unoccupied, and instinctively avoided it. Surely Optimus had not found this place to be a refuge?
Optimus lay a palm against the metal wall, gauged the soaring ceiling, and then turned to Ironhide. "I will discuss it with the rest of the Autobots, but if there is no objection, I think we will designate this place as a tomb. I hope that this room always remains empty for that reason, Ironhide."
With that, Optimus shook his head. "When the time comes for this tomb to be filled, I only ask that none join me here. I accept that the price of leadership is sacrifice. It is an honor, and not a burden, Ironhide. The true sacrifice that I'm not willing to pay is seeing one of you laying here in my stead. That would be unforgivable."