Hey, this is editing me, and I totally forgot to replace this chapter with its title. Hah -Gabriel

Chapter 9: In Harm's Way

And I wanna come home to you

But home is just a room full of my safest sounds

Cause you know that I can't trust myself with my 3AM shadow

I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone

I wanna sleep next to you

But that's all I wanna do right now

So come over now and talk me down

-Troye Sivan, "Talk Me Down"

Several weeks later, around the end of August, there was an Order meeting going on. Severus was there, along with James, and everyone else who frequented the meetings. There were also some others who didn't come as often, and Severus hadn't learned their names yet. He was familiarizing himself with everyone there, and he was beginning to tell himself they were getting used to him too. It was about halfway through the meeting. They had been discussing strategies to keep the students entering Hogwarts in September safe, along with keeping the graduating class safe. Dumbledore was talking with Kingsley about strengthening the wards, and one of Severus's past teachers, Minerva McGonagall, was helping them with some of the details of the spellwork. Everything was going quite swimmingly, if Severus could say so himself, when his left arm began burning.

It didn't start out as a prick, or a slight itch, but it was a full on burn, as if Severus had somehow dunked his arm in boiling hot water. He let out sort of a strangled noise, as though he was a cat that was accidentally kicked in the side. Everyone around him turned their head, and he stood up, shaking slightly. He had to go, and he couldn't be late. The burning got more intense, and Severus almost couldn't feel his arm anymore. He started to leave, and then as he was just walking out the door, he heard two words that would keep him together for the rest of the night:

James Potter's Good luck.

He knew luck probably wouldn't help him, but to James Potter, you could never really be sure. At this point, if he could, James would give Severus all of the Felix Felicis in the world, because he deserved it. More than half the people remaining at the table looked completely unfazed, and it set alight a spark in James. How could they be so nonchalant about this? How could they just brush this off as normal? It was one of the once-in-a-blue-moon occasions that Severus disappeared in the middle of an Order meeting, because the Death Eater get-togethers barely collided with the Order ones. James knew Severus would either come back to this meeting looking like a wreck, or he would go home and probably pass out. James had seen him once, or maybe twice, after a Death Eater meeting, and it was never good. With the Order succeeding recently, there couldn't have been much good news to spread around the Death Eater's table.

James silently grew angry at the people surrounding him, because they did nothing to help Severus. They were adults with the power to do so, and yet they chose to turn a blind eye towards it. That's what made him speak up.

"Isn't anyone going to be by the door?"

"What?" Sirius asked, genuinely confused. James had recently begun explaining Severus's entire situation to Sirius, and he was becoming more open-minded towards Severus as of late. He was starting to realize what an impact their bullying had made on him. Remus was there for some of it, and James could tell it deeply upset him. Remus looked horrified, and had to leave the room once. He later explained he was horrified because he knew it was because he didn't do anything to help Severus, and it was mostly his fault for allowing the bullying to continue.

There were a lot of things admitted that night.

"Isn't anyone going to watch the door for him?" James repeated.

"Why?" One lady piped up from a corner. James was mostly sure her name was Dorcas Meadowes.

"Well, what if he's hurt? You know what You-Know-Who can do, what if he's almost dying?" James was trying to be more and more insisting. After trying to convince some of the members of the Order, James stood up and decided to do it himself. "If no one's going to do it, I will." He walked out of the room, and pulled up a chair by the front door. If Severus didn't return by one in the morning, then James would leave and check his house. If he wasn't there either, well…

Nevertheless, James tried to not worry himself too much. He focused on catching bits and pieces of the conversation that the Order was having, but it was mostly talk about the incoming students. There wasn't much that concerned James. After most of the conversation died down and it turned to how the members' families were doing, James stared out of the window of the door, and tried naming the stars he could see. He tried doing everything to keep his mind off of Severus and what could have possibly been happening to him. James started listing spells off the top of his head, and cleaned his glasses on his shirt too many times for him to count.

Hours passed, and James refused both Sirius and Remus's offers to sit there for a while to let James sleep. If Severus wasn't getting any sleep, James wouldn't either. James accioed several books and stayed there, watching.

He was on his third book when Severus nearly crashed through the door. James was sitting on the stairs, careful not to knock his tea over, and immediately got up when he heard someone on the doorstep. He helped Severus through, and sat him down on the chair James had abandoned hours ago. He put his book down, and went back over to Severus.

"Severus? Are you alright? Can you hear me?" James held Severus's arms carefully, and brushed his hair aside slightly so he could see his face. Severus was a deadly sort of pale, more pale than James had ever seen him. He was shaking a lot, and he wasn't responding. James put the back of his hand against Severus's forehead, and noticed that it felt cold. "Heat, heat, heat..." James muttered to himself. Then, he got Severus up out of the chair, and into his arms. He lead him up the stairs (mindful of the tea) and got him to a guest bedroom in the Headquarters. He noticed Severus stopped shaking a little, and he helped him up onto the bed.

"Severus, are you alright?" Severus nodded-at least James was making slight progress. His mind was racing-what could You-Know-Who have done to him? "Will you be okay if I go downstairs and make you tea? Is that alright? Should I get Sirius or Remus to stay in here with you?" James knew he was talking fast, but he had to get everything out. He wanted to make sure Severus was at least better by morning.

"Yes...Lupin can...he can stay in here..." James went across the hall, and went straight into Remus and Sirius's room. When he entered, Remus sat up quickly at the noise.

"Oh, Prongs." Remus suddenly realized what must have been the reason James was still awake, and immediately asked, "Is he here?"

"Yeah, he just got in...he's in a really bad state, I've never seen him like this before. Can you stay with him a bit while I get him tea?"

"Of course," Remus replied, and he went into Severus's temporary room while James went downstairs.

Severus didn't know what he was feeling. He was cold, almost like ice, but there was a few moments of warmth. He felt James's arms around him, but he wasn't quite sure how long ago that was. Severus tried to keep any coherent thoughts together, but it was getting harder and harder the more tired he got. He was mentally and physically exhausted, as if he hadn't slept for two weeks. He heard people talking, the low rumbling of voices, but he couldn't make out distinct words. After a while, he could, but only James's voice really got through to him.

"Will you be okay if I go downstairs and make you tea? Is that alright? Should I get Sirius or Remus to stay in here with you?"

Severus wanted to answer in a normal, full-fledged sentence, and maybe throw in an insult towards Black, but he could only get out a few words before becoming too tired to continue. "Yes...Lupin can...he can stay in here..." Severus didn't want to hear about how bad his life decisions were (honestly, now that they got on slightly better terms, Black turned into a mother hen with the constant nagging) and he just wanted to be alone. Alone, but with James. He was sure that that made sense somehow. He heard Lupin enter the room, and someone, probably James, go down the stairs.

"God damn it," Remus said, "What the hell did he do to you?" Severus didn't answer-he would if he could. It was almost a complicated story to tell. "You know," Remus continued, "You've turned James into a right sap. I hope you know that. He stayed up all night sitting at that door for you."

He did?

"James won't be happy about this. Sirius and I will probably have to hold him back before he goes hunting down You-Know-Who so he could skin him."

If Severus could have paid money to see the Dark Lord being skinned alive, he'd have gladly paid the money.

"You know? Sirius and I are placing our bets now, to get them in early. I'm giving you a month before you two get together, you and James. Sirius gives you a week."

If Severus could laugh, he would. He would also probably tell Remus it wasn't like that, and James and him wouldn't ever end up together, not after sixth through almost all of seventh year. Their lives were too tangled, it was a mess.

"And don't try denying it, either. James has become a wreck lately. Any time we're having a conversation, you know what he always comments? He says, 'I wonder what Severus would think, or say, or do about this or that.' It's terrible, it's as though he's a fifth year student again." Remus said.

Severus didn't know how to respond to that. He had no idea that he made an impact on James-he didn't even do much. He wondered if anyone noticed how Severus acted around James. He tried being discrete about his feelings towards him, but around James...he just couldn't. He found it hard to act normally around him. Since he graduated, he had gotten better at being smoother and less twitchy, but around James it somehow took a different turn and he was a complete nervous wreck.

Soon, James returned with the promised tea, and Remus left. "Whatever he said," James said, "I'm sure he was only joking." By then, Severus had mustered enough strength to talk for a bit, so he replied, "He said you were acting like a wreck whenever I'm not around." Severus slowly drank his tea, and he tried sitting up a little more.

"Did he?"

"Apparently," Severus said in a quieter tone. He knew he shouldn't have mentioned it. Of course it probably wasn't true, this wasn't sixth year anymore. They were in the middle of a war, and he had Lily...Lily. He had Lily, she was his girlfriend, and she was brilliant. Severus and Lily had started rebuilding their friendship, and it was going well. She was like the sun shining, so why would James leave the sun for the moon? Severus didn't have a chance. He just looked down into his tea cup, and didn't elaborate.

"He wasn't wrong."

James noticed how uncomfortable Severus had become. James knew exactly what he must have been thinking: Remus was joking or lying. Severus thought that it wasn't true, when in all honesty, it was an understatement. James knew that he past the point of no return a while ago, even though he had no idea of Severus's feelings. He knew Severus didn't think he was enough, though, and he knew it was a make-or-break moment.

"He wasn't wrong."

He had to reassure him somehow. James wasn't going to let this go, not again.

"He wasn't wrong, Severus. I did sit at the door all night waiting for you, if he told you that, and I am a complete wreck when you're not around. These past few weeks since you've sort of made a return after graduation...they've...sort of been eye opening. Ever since that day in the bathroom, it has, really. You have to believe me on this. I've been a mess, all because of you."

The last few weeks went through his mind, with Severus officially joining the Order, then having re-introductions to the Marauders...he remembered it as though it was yesterday (despite it being not that long ago, it felt like it had been years).

August 2nd

Severus had just been inducted into the Order of the Phoenix, and it was significantly less stressing (and, less harmful) than his Death Eater initiation. It was just a simple vow he had to make, and that was all. He left the room directly afterwards, tuning out everyone's applause. Everything sort of reminded him of that fateful day, a month ago. Everyone's sickening applause when they congratulated him on becoming a Death Eater paralleled this moment too much. How could he belong to two organizations at once? It was almost as though he was in Romeo and Juliet, between two feuding groups and caught up in the middle.

Would his death be the only result?

Suddenly, he heard people enter the room he was in. He turned, and he saw the Marauders. He had to stop himself from rolling his eyes."What do you four want?" James walked over, and held out his hand.

"I'm James Potter," he said. "Gryffindor house, just graduated Hogwarts."

"Potter, I know that."

"Just go with it."

"Fine. I'm Severus Snape, Slytherin house. Also just graduated Hogwarts." Severus shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Severus Snape. These are my three friends," James said, gesturing towards the other Marauders.

"I'm Remus Lupin," Remus said, going over and holding out his hand, "I'm a Gryffindor as well, just graduated Hogwarts, and I'm a werewolf. Hope that isn't a problem."

"I don't think it will be," Severus said, shaking his hand.

"Peter Pettigrew," Peter said, and they shook hands. Sirius was the most reluctant and the last one to step up.

"Sirius Black," he said, and he held out his hand. Severus hesitated a minute, but shook it was the beginning to something much better, even though Severus didn't know it at the time.

"He wasn't...he wasn't lying?" Severus asked slowly, and put his tea down. There was no way. It had to be some sort of joke, some sort of prank. There was no way that James could possibly reciprocate at all. "He was telling the truth?"

"Completely," James replied. But for some reason, Severus didn't believe him. He wanted to believe him-he wanted to so badly, but something in him was preventing him from doing so. He wasn't like Lily or anyone else that James had ever been with, Severus wasn't….he wasn't for James. Severus didn't think he was for anyone. He wasn't supposed to get this, he didn't deserve this.

"But...you have Lily. I'm not...I don't…." Severus struggled to continue, because not only did he have a hard time explaining what he was trying to say, but because he was struggling to keep enough strength to continue without running out of breath.

"Severus, we can talk about this tomorrow, you need to rest," James said, going over. "Try to sleep." James took the cup of tea and started leaving the room.

Severus managed to get out one word before he passed out. "Stay…"

James heard "Stay" before complete silence. James guessed that he probably passed out, but he went back in anyway. He put the tea back on the nightstand, and was about to sit down when he realized the room didn't have a chair in it. James sighed, and just sat on the edge of the bed. He turned the light out, and stayed put for a while.

James, after a while, ended up watching him sleep. Contrary to what James thought, Severus wasn't as peaceful when he slept. He tossed and turned and was just as twitchy. James's mood was brought down considerably when he realized that Severus wasn't able to actually relax. James frowned, and decided to go a little closer to him.

James kept watching him until he felt his eyes burning and he couldn't stay up for much longer. He didn't want to leave Severus alone, because, what if he woke up? James just decided to stay where he was (it was better to have Severus wake up and have James there than having him wake up and James be sleeping somewhere else.) James ended up sleeping sprawled across most of the bed, with one arm over Severus's leg and a leg over the side of the bed.

"Remus, fork it over," Sirius said the next morning while both of them stood in the doorway to Severus's temporary room. "I told you it'll be by the end of this week."

"Fine! Fine," Remus handed over the money. "Do you think they'd admit it to each other that they're both completely head over heels?"

"I highly doubt it," Sirius said, pocketing the coins. "I bet James would try to, but I don't think Snape would...understand."

"I don't think he would either. But we both know he feels the same way. Poor guy can't even keep his eyes off of James for more than ten minutes." Sirius and Remus laughed a bit, and both went downstairs for breakfast. They couldn't wait to tell James about this.

Severus woke with a start. He sat up quickly-or at least tried to-before making a pained noise because of the stinging in his chest. He couldn't properly sit up without feeling sore, so he lay back down before nearly having a heart attack.

James was laying across him.

Severus had to stop himself from going into full-fledged panic mode. There had to be a reason why James was sleeping on top of him (or, basically was, he was on his legs), but Severus wasn't focusing on the logic part of the situation. All that was running through his head was: Remus wasn't lying, Remus wasn't lying on repeat. Severus had no idea what to do in this situation.

He lifted his leg up slightly to see if James would at least stir, or roll over, but he didn't. Severus tried moving him, but he was too heavy.

"James," Severus hissed. "James." He didn't wake up at all. Severus sighed, out of ideas. Then, he saw Sirius and Remus passing by the slightly open bedroom door, and Severus shouted (as quietly as he could, of course) "You two! Get him off of me!"

Sirius and Remus entered, and they immediately burst into laughter. "Wow," Sirius said, going over.

"I knew James was forward, but I didn't realize he'd be this forward," Remus said, at least looking slightly apologetic. He went over too, and helped Sirius pull James off of Severus so he'd be able to get up. "How are you, by the way? Can you get up and walk around?"

"No," Severus said, trying his best to not go beet-red. "I don't think so. I don't feel as exhausted, but I'm sore."

"What did they do to you, then?" Sirius asked.

"I...well...I was target practice, again...mostly, anyway. They were feeling particularly creative last night, I suppose," Severus said awkwardly. He didn't like talking about this.

"Target practice?" Sirius repeated, looking angry. "They use you as a target?"

"Sometimes…" Severus said uncomfortably. Black shouldn't be getting this angry over this, should he?

"I hate them, I really do," Sirius said, "I'm going to get you breakfast and a different tea." Sirius took the cup off the nightstand.

"Remus, stay here with him. Also, get James up. We're going to talk to Dumbledore after breakfast, because I swear to god, Severus Snape," Sirius said, "We are getting you out of those goddamn Death Eaters or there will be hell to pay." Sirius then left, and Severus could hear him nearly stomping down the stairs. Then he heard Sirius yelling (quite loudly), "ARE EGGS OKAY, SEVERUS? I DON'T KNOW YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST, BUT THAT'S OKAY, SINCE NO ONE BOTHERED TO MAKE IT ALREADY, I'LL DO IT!"

"Tell him eggs are fine," Severus said to Remus, who was holding back laughter.

"On it." Remus went out of the room for a second, leaned over the stairs' banister, and shouted back, "Eggs are perfectly fine! It's a good thing no one thought to get him breakfast earlier, or else he wouldn't be able to get these perfectly FINE eggs!"

Severus internally smiled. It was getting better and better every day it seemed. The more the Marauders stuck up for him, the more people around them started changing their attitudes, too. The older members started to stop giving him dirty looks in the hallways. The other students from their year who were in the Order sometimes went out of their way to talk to him. It was going better than Severus had ever thought.

Remus entered the room again, and pulled James off of the bed. "It's about time he wakes up and has breakfast too." When James hit the floor, he let out a mumbled 'oof' and woke up (finally). "Good job falling asleep on top of Severus, watch-dog." It took James a second to process the sentence, and he replied with "Oh!"

"Sorry, Severus," James said, getting up. "I didn't really...mean to…"

"It's alright…" Severus replied uneasily. He didn't know how to respond to James. What situation were they in? Where were they in their...relationship? Was it friendship still?

James seemed to notice his discomfort and said, "Remus, can you leave for a minute? He and I need to talk." Remus nodded and left, joining Sirius downstairs.

"Alright, Severus. I promised we'd talk about this today," James said, sitting back down on the bed.

"Why...do you keep...why are you a wreck when I'm not around? You have Lily, she's...I'm not her," Severus mumbled.

"No, you're not," James agreed, and said, "You're you. Don't compare yourself to Lily, alright? Lily and I...she realized that it wasn't working. We broke it off weeks ago, Severus." Severus looked at him, slightly astonished.

"You what?"

"We broke it off, we broke up," James said. "Severus, trust me, I don't like her that way, and she doesn't like me that way."

Severus took a few minutes to process this. James didn't have feelings for Lily anymore...because he had feelings for him. Was Severus the cause of their break up? Was Lily upset over it?

"I'll answer the questions that are probably going through your head right now," James said slowly, "You weren't the cause of our break up, no. I was, okay? It wasn't your fault. Lily wasn't upset about it either, and neither was I. You didn't cause anything to happen, it was me, I broke up with her. She said the feelings were mutual and we're staying friends, don't worry."

"Oh," Severus said. His first question wasn't answered, though. Why did James have feelings for him?

"Knut for your thoughts?" James said, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed.

"Why do you….why? Why me?" Severus asked. He hated how awkward he was being with James, but he couldn't get himself to stop. He wanted to easily believe every word James said, he wanted to be comfortable with him, but he just couldn't.

"I couldn't just brush you off, Severus. You're sort of like the wind. You turn up, even in the most unexpected places, like in the summer. Especially when you think the day's just going to be hot and uncomfortable forever, there's a tiny little breeze that turns up and saves you from becoming a melting ice-cream cone."

Severus almost laughed at that analogy. "I'm a tiny little breeze?"

"A tiny little breeze that will end up saving my ass. Look, Severus," James said seriously, "I like you a lot, okay? And if you need it, I'll remind you every single day, if you want."

"I'd...like that, I think," Severus said. And, as much as he struggled to admit it, he finally opened up slightly. "I...I like you a lot too."