That morning I drive over to Carmel's after making sure that Anna will be okay while I'm gone. I don't want to leave her alone, especially after yesterday, but the quicker I tell Thomas and Carmel my plan, the quicker I can leave for Boston. The quicker I can kill Andrew Borden. As I'm driving through the vast expanse of woods, I recall all of the information I can about the ghosts.
Andrew Borden's daughter, Lizzie, supposedly when psycho and chopped him and her stepmother up. Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one. Why would anyone made a damn nursery rhyme about a murder? Lizzie was acquitted, though a lot of people believed that she was guilty as sin. She, of course, wasn't the one to stay and haunt the place. That was the role of her parents. Her father's wife, Abby Borden, was chopped up along with her husband while Lizzie was the only one in the house besides their maid, Maggie.
I shiver when I think back to the night I lost my memory. The way Abby's scream echoed throughout my ears. Or the sickening thud my body made as it hit the wall. I wonder why he didn't kill me then. Why I wasn't a goner as soon as I was knocked unconscious. My hands are sweaty as I grip the wheel. I pull up to Carmel's house, having luck when I see Carmel's car in the driveway. No doubt Thomas is over here.
I'm greeted at the front door by Carmel's parents and her mother ushers me into the living room where Carmel and Thomas are watching television. They don't notice me until I plop down on the couch beside them. Even then, they don't pay much attention my way. They're holding hands and their eyes are glued on the TV. They're watching Ghost Hunters. Cheesiest and fakest shit I've ever seen.
"Can you make contact with us?" One of them asks. A plate drops in the distance, probably from a hidden coworker. They all act super shocked. It might as well translate to this:
"Can you make contact with us?"
Plate shatters.
"Oh, so your name is Elizabeth?"
Again with the cheese. I see their eyes widen and look to me in shock when they hear what I have to say.
"I'm going back to Boston." I say simply, my eyes still focused on the television where stupid people are jumping and screaming. Thomas pauses the recording and Carmel is the first to speak.
"What do you mean, you're going back to Boston?"
"I need to remember what happened. I need to remember, otherwise things aren't going to be right between Anna and me."
"Have you told Anna this?" Carmel asks. Thomas is still silent as he looks to me. I shake my head.
"I tried to ask her something last night, but she couldn't look at me the same because I don't remember anything. I need to remember. And for that to happen, I feel that I need to go back to the place I lost my memory."
Thomas looked to me in sympathy. While Carmel continued to freak out about me putting myself in harm's way, I have no doubts that he was reading my mind. He saw just what I had asked Anna the night before. I could easily call Thomas my best friend, and he could see the pain reflected in my eyes.
"Do you think it would work, Thomas?" I ask him, completely ignoring the fuming girl I know as Carmel. She gives her apparently nervous boyfriend a look that could melt ice. I'm sure he's just as scared of her as I've been in the past. Carmel can be terrifying if she so wishes. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat under the scrutinizing eyes of Carmel.
"I guess, man. Maybe what was trapping the ghosts there could have trapped your memories, too. But it seems kind of dangerous to go back."
"Kind of dangerous?! What are you talking about? It's extremely dangerous! They almost killed you, Cas. They put you into a five month coma. It happened a year ago, and we all thought we were going to lose you when the cops pulled you out of that building. Thomas, your mom, me, Gideon, hell, even Jestine thought you were a dead man."
"Carmel, he needs to do this." Thomas says patiently, not wanting to spill my secret of why I need to do this. Why I need to kill Andrew Borden.
"Why? Why in the world does he need to do this? Huh? Answer that, Thomas."
"I asked Anna to marry me yesterday, Carmel." She stares in stunned silence. "She told me 'no'. All because I can't I remember what the hell happened these past months. I need to remember everything between us, because if I don't, the love of my life is going to slip through my fingers."
"Love of your life, huh? Would she want you to be doing this if she knew?" Carmel asks sarcastically while Thomas stares at me stupidly. I nod. It's the truth, she is.
"I went to Hell for her, Carmel. I don't think I would do that for just some skirt I'm chasing. And I know she wouldn't want me to do this. She wants me to remember, and if killing Borden is the only way that's going to happen, then so be it." I lean forward and put my head into my hands, vigorously rubbing my eyes.
I leave Carmel's house, all while she still tries to convince me to not go. It's not going to work. Driving home, I find that I've got a massive lump in my throat, and that I'm on the verge of crying. How could my life have gone down the toilet as it has since Boston? I don't want Anna to see me teary-eyed and broken, especially after she already saw me like that with my father. So I drive around for a few hours, park in a mall parking lot and just let the tears fall. Once I've gotten myself together, I drive home to Anna waiting on the porch, looking frantic as my car pulls up beside the house. Once I'm outside the car, she rushes over to me, throwing her arms around my neck, but unlike yesterday, she's no longer crying. She looks like she's furious. Why?
"Ask me again."
"What?"
"Ask me again." She says more firmly. Excitement rushes through me. Has she changed her mind? Will she say 'yes', whether I remember or not? It won't change what I'm about to do. I need to remember. I need to.
"Anna Korlov, while you please do me the honor of being my wife?"
"Yes." She says teary-eyed. And kisses my lips. They're salty from her tears. Then she shakes her head. "So, please don't go there."
"What?"
"Carmel called me today. She told me what you're planning. Cassio, I don't want you going out there. Not because I said 'no'." I take a gulp. Damn you, Carmel. Stubborn and always gets what she wants. Including her friend not going on a suicide mission. And if she has to tell his dead-but-not-so-dead-anymore fiancé his plans, then so be it.
"Anna, I need to. I need to remember, and if my memories are locked there, then I have to go."
"I can tell you everything you need to know."
"But you can't give me the satisfaction of knowing it. Of the experience. I need to remember the day I got you back. I need to remember our first kiss when you were warm. I need to remember the first breath you took as a living girl. I need to remember everything. Rainy days I spent with you. The feeling of nervousness as I slept next to you for the first time. I've forgotten everything about us, Anna, and I'm determined to not let it go any further. I have to remember. And to do that, I have to finish what I started a year ago. I need to kill him, Anna."
Two more chapters, guys! Thanks to those of you who stuck through the story the whole way! :)