Thanks so much for all the support! John and Natalie's story has simply evolved into having a life of its own. Having said that, now comes the caution that even though I tried to tone it down…it is John and Nat…so if you are not into smut, are too young to read smut, or are offended in any way by serious smut – follow the directions at the double bars...
Chapter 10
For two nights and two days Natalie tormented John. She would not answer his phone calls or even acknowledge he'd left about 50 voice mails as John went from initiating his most winning lopsided charm to the point of open anger and borderline bullying as he tried to get her to engage in some kind of dialog with him. Nothing worked. Natalie stood solid in her conviction to keep him well away from her but still firmly planted in Justin's life. As long as she was entrenched in Llanfair, John had no hope of getting anywhere near her, not without causing one hell of a scene. And that was one thing he would not do, which Natalie was damn good and well aware of, and she was blatantly using his code of ethics against him. It was to a point where he wasn't sleeping and certainly not able to work with any semblance of concentrated effort. And it was affecting Justin too.
None of this was lost on those closest to the two of them. As much as Sabrina loved Natalie, in this crazy scheme of isolation and conquer she could not support her. While she didn't really know what had gone on between Natalie and John to have caused such a drastic shift in the dynamic of their relationship, Sabrina wasn't the least bit surprised it was an out and out open altercation of two strong wills. Even the blind could not fail to see the inexorable swell of electricity sizzling between the struggling parents. And though Sabrina was confident the two would eventually find a way to resolve how they would work together and navigate this latest divergence, she was of the mind it really needed to occur sooner rather than later for Justin's sake. Her baby was clearly out of sorts and the cause could squarely be laid at the feet of his mother, and that Sabrina simply would not tolerate. After Jared's death, Justin had suffered the terrible loss and fracture in the routine of his short life which could've had destructive and long lasting effects. But Natalie had handled it with such strength and grace Sabrina was never more proud of her. That entailed her openly giving John his rightful place as Justin's father and weaving him unselfishly in to repair the damaged fabric of her son's life. From where the older woman sat, it required a tremendous amount of courage on Natalie's part. The danger had been there from the start, but Natalie had ignored it in order to do right by her son.
Now it appeared Natalie was cognizant of just what precisely it was she had done and what John really wanted for all of them. Nattie was running scared - with Justin caught in the middle. He was anxious, insecure, and when John had dropped him off earlier in the afternoon, he had cried inconsolably as his father had walked out the door. It simply had to stop and if it took a creative solution on her part, then so be it. Sabrina would gladly put up with the consequences if it meant she could re-establish the balance of Justin's life. As a further windfall, Sabrina was of the notion that John and Natalie's lives could be healed too, if only Natalie wouldn't be so pig headed about it – and if she was very lucky, Sabrina was optimistic she might solve two of their tribulations with one fell swoop. So after she fed and bathed Justin, she made several phone calls, one of which was to Natalie.
"I don't think Justin is feeling well. He's terribly cranky and I think he may be running a fever. So, since it looks like you're probably going to be late getting home from BE, I'm just going to put him down in his own bed after I give him some medicine rather than take him back to Llanfair."
Natalie was instantly alarmed, "Should I come home right now?"
"Oh no, I don't think it's that serious. But you know Miss Natalie, he is only two and his schedule has been completely disrupted yet again. I do believe it's best if I put him to bed a little early and hopefully he'll be right as rain in the morning."
"Well, I'll try and leave as soon as I can. I'm nearly finished and once Kevin throws holy water on the final product, I'll head directly home. Call me if anything changes?"
"Of course! Don't you fret, I really just wanted to give you a heads up…not unnecessarily worry you." Sabrina should have felt bad for her little white lies, but she didn't…
When Natalie finally pulled into her driveway it was late and she was drained. The presentation had proved a bear to tweak just so and to create a final draft which would pass Kevin's perfectionist muster. But it was done and it was the least she could do considering he'd been indulgent of her needing a little time away from the office while she'd tried to stave off the impending disaster of her and John. When she entered the front door Natalie was a bit surprised to find Sabrina was waiting for her in the entryway, with her coat on and apparently very anxious to leave.
"I'm sorry, Miss Natalie. But I have to run, the hubby is waiting for me and Friday is our big night down at the Llanview Bowl. The league needs me. I did want you to know Justin went down tonight with no problem. Poor little guy, I think he really missed his own bed. Anyway, he's been asleep for about a half hour and I just checked on him. No sign of a fever and he's sleeping peacefully, so I really do think he's fine. It appears he was just a little overly tired, that's all. Well, I'll see you on Monday."
"Thanks, Sabrina. I appreciate your staying late and taking such good care of Justin as always. Have a good weekend. And good luck with your tournament." After Sabrina left, Natalie locked and dead bolted the front door. She went upstairs to check on and tuck in her sleeping angel, kissing his soft cheek and sifting her fingers for the briefest moment through his dark thick hair. He didn't awaken and his skin was thankfully cool to her touch. Maybe Sabrina was right, a good night's sleep in his own bed probably would do him wonders. Then she went across the upstairs gallery to her own room and changed out of her BE appropriate buttoned up skirt and blouse and into a softly worn cotton dress. Padding on bare feet down the stairs and into the kitchen, Natalie decided tonight she was simply going to indulge herself. No extracurricular BE work with her nose buried in amortizations and acquisitions until the wee morning hours. She was just not quite up to the kind of mental acuity necessary to really analyze the product and projections discussed in any of the reports she'd brought home. Instead, Natalie was going to have one sinful little treat and then climb into bed and read a tacky murder mystery until she fell asleep. Justin wasn't the only one who had missed the familiar surroundings of home.
She went into the pantry and couldn't resist, and quickly she stuffed one and then another raspberry filled truffle into her mouth, closing her eyes as the sweet tart tastes burst onto her tongue. Natalie was rooting around in the tin for just the right confection for thirds when the doorbell rang and was succeeded directly by pounding on the front door. Nat stood stock still, but as the pounding became more aggressive and demanding she had no doubt who had arrived to storm the castle. Damn but John was going to wake Justin and then she was going to have to kill him. And even if somehow through a miracle he did not wake Justin, it wasn't such a bad idea to be permanently rid of him as far as Natalie was concerned. Because John was not used to taking no for an answer, and she had distinctly and unequivocally said no; so surprise, surprise, here he was decked out in all his overbearing male bluster come to try and influence her. He would see she was different…she wasn't the same wounded John McBain-crazy lovesick girl she had been over three years ago and she had steeled herself into not losing this one.
When Nattie threw open the door, her eyes were blazing. "What do you want McBain. It's late, I'm tired and Justin is already in bed. And so help me God, if you woke him with your caveman tactics, you'll discover new meaning to the word 'bitch' when it comes to me."
John ignored her impotent threats and breezed past her not waiting for permission. He sat down on the hall bench and with cool deliberation removed his boots. When he stood, he placed his hands on his hips with his feet wide apart in the usual stance he assumed when he was uncompromising in his purpose. "We're talking Nat. That's it. We do it here where our voices can carry up the stairs, or we go into the family room – it's your choice. Either way, it's happening."
"I don't think so McBain. I believe I already told you I'm tired." Natalie opened the front door wider, "Please leave."
John turned and strode down the hall into the family room.
Nat heaved a sigh. He was really going to do this. It took every ounce of self control for her not to slam the door in frustration. But she managed. And when she followed him into the family room, she found him leaning up against the kitchen counter, a freshly opened beer in his hand and an arrogant smile on his face. It was all Nattie could do not to scream.
"So, are you going to tell me why you're so pissed at me? Or is it you're terrified…is that it Natalie, is that why you've been avoiding me? One little kiss and you're running scared?" John took a drink of his beer.
Nat rolled her eyes, "You're an ass, and I'm not going to lower myself and 'tell' you anything. So you can just put the beer down and get out of my house. And tomorrow, you can call before you come over to pick up Justin to be sure my mom is here and I am not. Good night John."
He nearly laughed out loud. Natalie's eyes were smoldering with animosity and her cheeks were flushed with the heat of the battle. And she looked so damn enticingly girly in that skimpy curve hugging little lime green number with her cleavage peeking out from the top of her scooped neckline and her bare legs going on for days. Goddamn but he loved her like this, spirited, beautiful, and in all her full red-headed volatile splendor. John wasn't going anywhere. Carefully he set his beer down. "Here's the deal Nat, I've known you to be a lot of things but a coward was never one of them."
"How dare you! After more than two years, you decide to just to show up and disrupt everything during one of the worst periods in my life and I'm supposed to be grateful? For what, that you would finally deign to start acting like a father to Justin? You know nothing about me John, and you have some nerve if you think I'll stand by and let you judge me let alone decide I'm the coward!"
John crossed his arms over his chest and he was the picture of calm self-assurance. "That's right Nat, coward. No judgment on my part, just honesty. You know as well as I do, this is unfinished business and it's long overdue. And you and I should be well past skirting the truth, don't you think? The Natalie I know would have dealt with this full on and given me shit for refusing to talk about it. So, seems to me if you're avoiding the issue, you're flat out in a panic – but I already get it Natalie. Fight or flight babe, you tell me which one you prefer."
Nattie felt like she was in an alternate universe. How in the hell had this escalated where in less than three minutes they were now at the point where they were soon to thrash out who did what to whom in their relationship? Because there was no way they could talk rationally about the kiss without dredging up some of the most wretched episodes of their history. Natalie could not go there, not now, not ever. Somehow, she needed to quickly employ a strategy to definitely deflect and dodge. John was right, when confronted with this alarming situation there were only two choices, and she had settled on flight. Damn him! Why couldn't he keep his hands and his mouth to himself?
"Fine, you're so big on honesty. Here it is. We are exes. I am not looking to revisit any part of the past, let alone dredge up old feelings with an old flame. How many times do I have to say it? So I think it's best for the time being we put some space in between us. I'm sorry John, if I in any way gave you the idea I would be open to more. Because I'm not."
"Hmmmm, so now I can add fraud along with coward to the list of new personality traits you've acquired. Let me remind you, I may have initiated that kiss, but you were more than a willing participant." Natalie had the good grace to blush furiously. Oh yeah, she had been consenting all right with her lush breasts pillowed against his chest and her tongue halfway down his throat and her arms locked around his neck while he had plastered her up against the garage wall so he could fuse them down the length of their bodies. That was not the behavior of a woman who wanted "space." John took another drink of his beer while he allowed his eyes to remind her of how it felt.
Natalie knew any conflict with John could get dirty and she was not unprepared. Flat out it would be futile to try and dispute the potency of a single kiss; damn, but John was too well aware of what he did to her with a touch as innocent as the incidental contact of his skin with hers, let alone when he covered her body with his and set her senses on fire. "I never said we weren't great at sex, even as exes. But that's all, just sex John. Everything else we were lousy at. I don't want to go back to the lousy, not even if it means I'll have to forgo great sex. Is it clear enough for you?"
It was clear all right, and he liked it, a lot. After all this time, Nattie still remembered it was great; as in mind blowing, can't get enough, tender, unhurried and sometimes bittersweet, we'll do it anytime and anywhere, we're so scorching hot together sex. He was no fool, and though he had been slow to come to the realization, he had enough experience to appreciate what Nattie and he did to each other, made each other feel. And it was extraordinary…and rare…and bonded them together irrevocably. She'd get used to it, and he would do what he had to do to make sure of it. Though at this point, he'd accede he may have underestimated the magnitude of her resistance.
So, John didn't answer her right away, taking another drink of his beer while he let her think she had won the moment. "Seems to me, we're good at just about everything that requires teamwork - parenting, fighting, hanging out, flirting, talking, loving, and of course, lest we forget...sex...just some of these activities are easier for us than others. You're simply afraid of the hard work the not so easy ones may call for, isn't that more like it Nattie? And I think you're really pissed at me because I brought it all back up - when you had nearly convinced yourself what we had and what we were existed the way you decided to distort it, so you could present this sham of a life and pretend this is what was real."
Oh my God, the son of a bitch didn't really just say that…"Take it back McBain! I swear to God if you don't take it back things are going to get ugly and for the sake of our son, I'm asking you to stop this right now and just leave."
"You're in control of this Natalie. I already explained this and patiently too, I might add. If I hit a nerve maybe you should ask yourself why." John finished his beer in one long swallow and dispassionate as could be; opened the cabinet door under the sink, threw the empty bottle in the recycle bin, and proceeded to saunter over to the fridge and help himself to a second.
Natalie was left briefly speechless by his condescension. Then it hit her, John was actually angry with her. For the first time in all the years they had been doing this dance, John was not leading. He couldn't manipulate her, intimidate her, scare her, or control her. It freaking galled him, because he was the one, he had forced her hand and when she went on to build a life detached from him, she had done it successfully without looking back (well not much anyway). She couldn't help it, she laughed with the certain knowledge that she really was in control. "What a bastard you are. You don't get to rewrite history, and I'm not letting you off the hook. But before we take the gloves off, you'd better be very fucking sure this is what you want McBain…"
That got his attention; so it came down to this and how deep they would need to go to surgically excise the infection. Fine. But Nattie had better be prepared to deal with her own shit when it came to cleaning out the old festering wounds.
"What leads you to believe I would spin any part of what we went through? We were happy Nat and we didn't get enough time to take satisfaction from it. After the accident, we were not. That's what I remember. And we both made mistakes, some pretty big ones to be sure, but if you want to start laying blame there's enough to goddamn go around. For my part, I apologized and I seem to recall you accepted and ultimately we agreed we could remain friends. So what you're telling me now is, you never forgave me and you're not willing to remain friends. That's the message I'm getting and it's loud and clear."
Natalie scoffed with disbelief at how he was attempting to minimize what had really happened between them. "It was a bit bigger than we were simply unhappy after your accident. Let me put it in the simplest terms you can understand. You humiliated me by leading me to believe you thought we had a future while you were giving up on me and moving on with Marty Saybrook. You may not have slept with her while we were still technically together, but what you did was way worse, you were confiding in her and tolerated her insinuating herself between us. After everything we went through, after all the times I stood with you, and when I told myself it was okay if you shut me out because I knew how hard it is for you to say what it is you really feel…the whole time, you were lying to me and going to her to talk about you…me, and us." Nattie raised her chin just a notch and she didn't even care if he saw the diamond bright shine of tears in her eyes. But she would not cry – she was done shedding tears over John McBain.
Fuck, there it was what he had known all along. Natalie was not past any of it. "So that's what this is all about, Marty Saybrook? She's dead Nat, has been for years now. And you know I wasn't in love with her. Couldn't even call what we had dating let alone a relationship."
Nat threw up her hands in disgust, "I'm supposed to just say everything's all better because you weren't in love with her and wouldn't call what you had with her, well - anything?" She laughed bitterly, "You're clueless McBain. It isn't about whether you were or were not in love with Marty or even where things may or may not have been headed at the time she died. It's about how I couldn't trust you anymore - you John - who I always had faith in when there was no one else. That's why I broke up with you, and I got it you know; you wanted to make damn sure I would be the one to end it. That way you could be the bigger person, allow me a way to save a little face, and tell me it wasn't you who was easily able to give up on us. But it was you, the one who gave up on us. Not me."
"Christ Natalie, you frankly gave me plenty of reasons to distrust you during that time as well. And I never thought I would see the day when you no longer had respect for me, but I did." John ran his hand through his hair, "Except you know goddamn good and well I never gave up on us. As for Marty, how many times can I say it was a mistake? At some point you are just going to have to believe me and move on. It's not like I married her - not like you did with Jared."
Ahhh finally, Natalie thought, now they were getting somewhere. So, if he was a fickle emotional turncoat, then she was a heartless unfaithful little bitch – how was that for an odious bit of payback? Except he was sorely mistaken, because John couldn't tell her she was better off without him after the break up and then complain when she really was. She simply wouldn't indulge him in his self-pity. "Yes, I married Jared. The man loved me, built a life for our son. Whether you like it or not, no matter how much you seem to think it wasn't so, this is the real deal, no bogus imitation; Jared was committed to the three of us and together we made a family. He wanted us and made sure every single day that went by we knew it. Why wouldn't I choose to be with a man like that? Of course I married Jared."
John's jaw locked with anger. He had wanted her, he just didn't know how much at the time. And that fateful night, days after he'd returned from Ireland, days after Marty's death – God yes, he had wanted Nat, been with her, made Justin, and found his soul could be at peace, but only with Natalie. And he never would have married someone else because he couldn't have what he really desired, that's for damn sure. "Jared, Jared, Jared," he mocked. "It's all about how good he was, how much he gave you. I have never once heard you say you loved him Natalie. At least I can admit it, I made a mistake – I never should have been with Marty. You on the other hand, wallow in the charade of what you want others to believe. Do you think if you say it enough, it really will make it so?? I'm not fucking buying it. Why don't you just come clean? You gave up on us – and you used Jared to do it. Like I said, you're a little coward."
"How the hell would you know anything about my marriage? Were you here? Oh that's right," Natalie smacked her forehead with exaggerated drama. "I almost forgot, you were across the country because you were so concerned about both Justin and me and the fictitious life we were supposedly leading. You left us McBain; and it's a tad hypocritical to whine about it now that you flipping figured out time didn't stand still for us in your absence."
No, Nattie. I was across the country because I couldn't stand to see another man with his hands all over you and my son – and I never should have left you…It's what John almost said but instead his pride got the best of him so he tamped down on his feelings in favor of provoking Natalie some more. "As a matter of fact, I have it from more than one reliable source you and Jared were on the verge of divorcing and it was you initiating the end of the marriage…sounds like the two of you manufactured a real solid family to me. I'll concede at one point you may have thought you cared about him, but in love with him? No goddamn way Nattie. I know what it looks like when you're in love. Babe, this wasn't it. And I'll hazard everything I know about you and state for the record it is exactly the reason why you were leaving Jared…" John's intense blue stare penetrated her defenses, challenging Natalie to deny he was the only one with first hand experience on who she indisputably was when she was deeply, wholly, perfectly in love.
Natalie gasped at his outrageous assertions. John was so conceited. Even if it was true, she had managed to go on without him, hadn't shriveled up and died, and had done a hell of a job raising their son with next to no help from him. "Has it ever occurred to you this is about me and not you?? I don't like who I am when I'm with you John. I'm jealous and insecure. And God knows you don't like me when I'm channeling the immature clingy and desperately pathetic either. But it's always what we get reduced to because I never know where you're coming from and you won't let me in. And I'm so tired John, tired of all the bull shit and the second guessing and I'm telling you, I am done. It's so over, there is no us beyond being Justin's parents."
For a split second, John almost believed her. And he wanted to shake her, until she understood the depth of his feelings for her and everything he ever did perpetually began and ended with her and the enduring connection they would always have – two kindred souls who were nothing but aimless, inconsequential without each other. John genuinely didn't understand why Natalie couldn't comprehend the significance of who they eternally were to each other if she would just open her eyes and see…and it hurt him, that she still didn't trust him with her heart and she had closed herself off from his.
It also pissed him off that Nattie could wield that kind of effect over him and he was more than willing to let her…Unless everything between them was in truth exactly as it seemed. "Goddamn straight Natalie. This is not about me. This is about you, and how you feel about me - and us. It's so not over Nat, I don't give a fuck what bull shit you're trying to impress me to accept. And you know what else? I think you realized very quickly you'd made a horrible mistake when you married Jared, that there was no fucking way you could learn to love him…or would even remotely have anything close to how good what we had was - even on our worst of days. So, while you might have initially persuaded yourself it was a viable decision to accept Jared's arranging the fair and equitable trade of your body in exchange for staying the course of an upper middle class marriage, your heart wouldn't be fooled into perpetrating the lie. As if it wasn't bad enough, and what's really killing you, is you think despite all your best efforts Jared knew it too, that you were not over us and you never will be. And if he did, then he knew the real reason why you needed the marriage to end. I get you Nat, and this is all predicated on guilt and appearances, not some great love for poor dearly departed Jared."
Before Natalie could stop herself, she slapped him soundly across the face. The instant it was over and the sting of what she had done registered from the palm of her hand to her brain, Natalie was mortified. She had never hit another human being in anger ever, let alone John.
John's eyes closed for several long moments while he took a deep breath. Shit, he probably deserved that, but he wasn't sorry. Nattie needed to hear the unvarnished truth and obviously he'd been fucking right all along, and she sure as hell didn't like having any of it dangled in front of her deceitful little nose. "Goddamn, Natalie. What are you doing?"
For a moment, Natalie thought she might faint from the shock, as everything went still and the edges of her consciousness faded to black. She couldn't look at him, and as she turned away her voice was small while the pain of what she had just done and the dire sense of imminent and devastating loss cut through her, stealing her very breath. "I think you should just go, John."
He waited for Nattie to turn around so he could assess the damage between them, try to decide if he could assuage the hurt and shame of what they had just done to each other. But her body was so stiff and he was so damn certain that if he touched her, it would be akin to pouring rocket fuel on a bonfire. So he just stood there mad as hell, flexing his hands open and closed until he purposefully walked out of the room and down the hall to throw open the front door.
John stopped short of leaving when he realized he was standing in his stocking feet, so angry with Natalie he was shaking. No one could cause the pitch of emotion in him that Natalie could. As the cool spring evening air hit him, this time John decided, no fucking way – it was not going to end like this. She was just going to have to suck it up and learn to forgive him and for his part, he was going to have to learn to communicate so she would always know exactly how he felt. And he didn't give a damn if it took them the better part of a lifetime to master these tasks either, and knowing them it probably would. He simply shut the door and turned on his heel, advancing up the entrance hall with long determined strides and back into the kitchen. Natalie was where he had left her; her back to him, hands clutching the counter top, staring with unseeing eyes. He would not let her squander away a chance at real happiness or their sexual currency, not tonight, not fucking ever again.
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John came up behind her, his body enveloping hers, his hands sliding down her arms until his fingers entwined with hers. She didn't move, didn't pull away. After long moments where they stood just so, and he allowed Nattie to get used to the fact he would pursue her, be with her, John leaned in, his mouth opening and he tasted her throat, moving up to graze her jaw with his teeth, his hair brushing her cheek. At the sharp intake of Nat's breath and her resultant tremor, John slowly turned her until he could easily capture her mouth fully with his own. It fed his raging desire. He intensified the kiss, sweeping her warmth repeatedly with his tongue, surprisingly tasting chocolate, so intoxicating, decadent, and he groaned deeply into her mouth as his sex hardened. He slowly ran his hands up the side of her torso, gently pressing her breasts with the palms of his hands. God, there was no hope for him, and he didn't care. This was his Natalie, sugary, hot, yielding in his hands. She wound her arms around his neck, running all of her fingers through the thick luxury of his hair, arching her back to give him added access to her breasts. He obeyed by running the pads of his thumbs across her nipples softly over the bodice of her sun dress while his palms molded her ample fullness. Natalie melted with pleasure beneath his touch.
"Jesus, Natalie….don't tell me no….not fucking now, not after all of this…" And John rocked his pelvis against hers so there could be no doubt in Natalie's mind what she did to him. He had to know, had to see for himself it was the same for her. He kissed her again, and then trailed his tongue down her neck, tracing a lovely path of open mouth kisses and gentle bites along her collar bone as he lowered the straps on her dress and teased the abundant rounded cleavage he happily revealed. With one arm slung low around her hips, his other hand began to systematically raise her dress above her derrière until he could easily cup her luscious sex and apply sweet pressure to her throbbing bud with the heel of his palm. Nat couldn't help it, God but it had been so long….she needed him, didn't want to fight this any longer, and it was too late for any resistance as she surged against him with complete abandon.
John laughed softly, and two of his fingers leisurely, deftly slid beneath her delicate silk panties to find her feminine folds swollen, wet, and Christ, so ready. He knew what Nat needed, and he would give it to her and would get so much more in return.
He ran his mouth back up to hers, and he bent her back in his need to consume her, insolently sucking her tongue into his mouth, wanting to imprint the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her forever on his body and in his heart. He swiftly swept her panties down her long shapely legs fully exposing her. Natalie completely surrendered as his fingers and his mouth sent a spiral of intense sexual desire curling from her belly to the core of her so that it made her legs weak. She gripped his shoulders and her hips moved with brazen self-indulgence as John growled with smug male confidence, "Oh yeah Natalie….give it to me…" And he continued to work his loving assault on her body.
She pulled his shirt free from his jeans and ran her hands up his flat abdomen and chest, and then down his back, finally cupping his butt with both hands. And then Nat was working the buttons on the front of his jeans, until he sprung free of the painful restraint. She ran her hand between John's stomach and his full erection teasing him unmercifully until she took the whole length of his shaft into both of her hands. John nearly came undone, and he bit his lower lip to give him something to concentrate on besides his fingers sliding in and out of her hot wet slit and her deliciously working hands caressing him to the verge of climax. He felt like a fucking teenager, with no ability for restraint. He needed her now, to be deep inside of her body where every stroke would get him closer and closer.
He rested his forehead against hers and he confessed, "Nat, you have to stop…..or we have to fuck, you decide. Cuz I'm gonna come…baby you're killing me."
Natalie responded by smiling and pushing his jeans down. "I say we fuck," she breathed against his ear before she took the lobe between her teeth and gently bit down. John shuddered. Jesus she was so sexy and she loved having her hair mussed, loved when they both came completely unraveled, and she was always right there with him, urging him unabashedly on. Her legs spread and Natalie leaned into him, rubbing her breasts against his chest and kissing him, making exquisite love to his mouth. John ran his hands over the round cheeks of her ass so he could lift her slightly to give him purchase and unerringly he found her moist opening with the head of his cock. "God Natalie…" And he was inside and she was so goddamn tight and it was torture to take it slow, as inch by inch he entered her until John was fully seated within her body.
"Wrap your legs around me Nat." And when she complied John carried her over to the table in the nook, setting her down so she was balanced on the edge. Then he began to move, with deep, slow rolling presses of his entire throbbing sex, his hands clutching the table as Nat clung to his strong biceps, her legs still wrapped around his waist meeting him thrust for thrust. With every stroke, he could feel his balls growing tighter, aching as he incrementally reached for it. And then he felt it, a rush of hot silky wetness and the first strong contractions of Nat's climax. She cried out and he captured the rest of the sound in his mouth as her body worked on his like a velvet fist and she was so swollen with her pleasure that he simply had no choice but to let his own slam into him with tremendous force; his release was so powerful Natalie could feel his ejaculation deep inside of her at the entrance to her womb. For both of them it just seemed to go on and on.
And then she heard it, heard him say it, softly against her mouth as he slowed his hips, "I love you…God I've missed you…"
For long seconds neither of them spoke, as they tried to catch their breath. When they came down, John was still inside of her, and he kissed her with such aching tenderness Natalie was afraid she might cry.
"Nat…"
She placed her hand over his mouth and saw the gravity of what he wanted to say in the passion of his gaze. But Natalie was reasonably certain the hot wild sex they had just engaged in may have, in this instance, short circuited John's common sense.
"Not a word McBain. Not now. Let's just go to bed and concentrate on doing this all over again."
He nodded, it didn't matter. He didn't have to tell her this second, or in the next minute, hour, or even day…because he wasn't about to let her go. She was his and if it meant he needed to marry her to make sure no other man ever touched her, filled her with his seed, made beautiful children with her, then that is exactly what he would do. And it was a goddamn bargain if it meant he got to keep her to himself.
He tangled his fingers with hers and led Nat out into the hall and up the stairs to her bedroom. She turned her back to him and lifted the long fall of deep burnished hair. John slid the zipper of her dress down and peeled the straps over her arms and the fabric past her waist, lightly tugging at the swell of her hips until it pooled at her feet.
John wound his arms around her pulling her back against his upper body. To Nat's delight and surprise, John was still hard; his tumescence snuggled against her. He cupped her breasts in his hands and they overflowed with a sumptuous weight John had always loved. Nat was all woman, soft curves against where he was angles and hard planes. They just fit in the most primal of ways.
Natalie turned and ran her hand through John's hair pushing it out of his eyes in the same tender gesture she used with their son. Slowly, she unbuttoned his shirt, sliding her hands up his chest and then pushing his shirt down his arms until he stood in all his naked masculine glory. He was so handsome, with his big beautiful body; so elementally male and he caused her heart to ache. Nattie kissed the corner of his mouth, his jaw, his neck, his bicep tracing the outline of the heart tattoo adorned there with the tip of her tongue, and working her way with maddening precision down his chest to his belly button, loving the taste of the salt on his skin. John slid both hands into Nat's hair and wrapped it in his fingers. She just looked up at him with compete trust in her deep blue eyes and went a little lower to exhale soft warm breath over his burning cock. Then he was once again in her hands, and she was stroking, her tongue swirling, mouth sucking, his sac cupped gently in her other hand as she squeezed, rolled and was driving him fucking crazy...John was lost in the sensation, his hips undulating with short slow thrusts.
He had to pull out or it was going to be over before they ever really got started. He felt like he had never even come, and the pressure was so intense he could only drag her up and just before his mouth descended on hers, he conceded with a hoarse whisper, "I have no control with you…Jesus Nat, what you do to me…"
He crushed her to him, their tongues dueling, sweeping and John walked her backwards to the bed. Nat felt the mattress and John simply pushed her down. He knelt on the floor between her thighs and ran his long fingers up both sides stopping short of his goal. He guided her legs over his shoulders and slowly parted her plump lips with his thumb and index finger applying the barest amount of pressure to both sides of her highly sensitive bud. Natalie moaned, and her legs stiffened with the rush of white hot longing that turned her liquid. Her hands were above her head and when John circled his tongue around her, Natalie's back arched and her hands twisted into the comforter as she held on for dear life.
"Oh my God John…" He kissed her, drawing her entirely into his mouth and tasting him on her and it was so erotic. He slid two fingers in and curled them up as he matched the rhythm of his tongue with the in and out motion at her sex. Nat couldn't stand it, she was so close and she rode his fingers shamelessly as John stroked her sweet spot expertly.
"Tell me when Nat, I want to hear you say it….'I'm coming John….I'm so there John'…"
Natalie gasped, "You need to shut the fuck up first John." He laughed, "Jesus Nattie, you say the sexiest things." And then he brushed his tongue counterclockwise before he tugged her back into his mouth once again.
"Oh God, don't stop John…." He rubbed his teeth gently across the distended tip.
She cried out and pulled his mouth closer with her soft thighs, "I'm coming, John…I'm so there…" And he greedily drank her pleasure in and when she was done, Nat was limp in his arms as he covered her body with his own.
"Ahhh so sweet," John kissed her and Natalie loved the taste of her on him. He pinned her to the bed, holding her hands above her head as he pressed his rock hard erection into her. Natalie entwined her legs with his and John began to move, his hips and ass flexing with the strain as he set the perfect cadence over and over and over inside of her. Natalie's eyes were closed and she swayed her hips in answer so that their pelvises were in constant contact, the base of his erection connected to her. And she was so hot, wet, there…so John did not know where his body ended and hers began. They were one.
"Open your eyes Nat…yes, stay with me Nattie… baby, we're so close...Jesus it's so fucking good…" And they tumbled over the edge together their eyes and bodies locked.
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This time John waited to say it; waited until she was tucked securely against his side and nearly asleep with her face resting on his chest so she could feel the steady beating of his life beneath her cheek, content with the smell of John, the feel of John surrounding her. He was caressing her hair, and into the darkness he simply said, "You're my heart Natalie, there's no hope for it. I just love you."
"I won't hold it against you, I promise. Go to sleep John. Or I'm going to have to ravish you one more time."
John laughed and kissed her. "Night, babe. Go ahead and act all tough, but I know you love me too." Nat gently kissed his chest in answer, and within moments they were both fast asleep.
To be continued……