It's well into the dredges of May, sun hanging high and hot in the sky, when Meg slides down into the chair beside Castiel at the kitchen table. She looks between Cas and the phone in his hand before settling her eyes on his face.
"You really think this is a phone call type of conversation?" she asks with a sympathetic smile.
Cas's hands tighten around the phone, voice strained as he says, "No."
Meg's smile widens slightly. "So then why are you trying to burn a hole through the thing with your eyes. Sam gave you his address, didn't he? Go see him!"
Cas's hands flex nervously around the phone. "What if he doesn't want to see me?" he asks quietly.
Meg gently places her hand on his forearm. "Then at least you know you tried." When he looks at her, there's so much understanding in her eyes that it makes his heart clench.
She removes her hand and leans back in the chair. "Besides, it doesn't look as pitiful if the poor woman going through the divorce is standing next to her soon to be ex-husband at the open house, so you need to find something outside of the house to do while the potential buyers are here."
He can't help choking on a surprised laugh at that. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"
"It's why you married me!" she proclaims with a grin.
Castiel's grin falters into something sad, and he looks away from her. "I'm so sorry for how this all has turned out."
Her hand is back on him in a flash. "This isn't your fault," she insists. "Neither of us can do this anymore, right? Isn't that what we decided?"
He opens his mouth to argue, but she cuts him off. "I can't do this anymore, Clarence. Looking at you, remembering, it hurts too much."
He lets the phone fall flat on the table and places his other hand over hers.
With a reassuring squeeze, he says, "I know."
Meg turns a watery smile on him. "So go on then, go to your manly love."
He smiles back. "I will, so long as your know you will always be my lady love."
Meg chuckles softly, shaking her head. "You're such a sap!" She stands and places a soft kiss to his temple. "Best of luck to you, Clarence."
Cas gives her hand one final squeeze before letting it slip from his grasp. "And to you, as well."
As he exits his car, Castiel can only hope the dark rain clouds aren't a foreshadowing to how this meeting will go. Heart hammering in his chest, he stares up at Dean's apartment. It sits on top of a bowling alley, and Cas has to go around the back of the building to reach the stairs that go up to it. Surprisingly, on the whole journey to the door, he never once thinks about turning around and chickening out.
He knocks on the door and can hear Dean yelling, "Hold on a minute!" His heart skips a beat when the door is finally pulled open.
Dean still looks as gorgeous as Cas remembers, even if he looks torn between shock and slamming the door in Cas's face.
"What do you want?" Dean demands.
"May I come in?" Castiel demurely asks.
Dean glances over his shoulder and into the apartment, and Castiel's heart sinks into his stomach. Does Dean have someone in there? Cas wouldn't blame him. Dean had every right to move on with his life.
Cas lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Dean turns back to him and says, "Sure." Even if Cas can't read his tone, it's a start.
Dean steps aside to let Cas by and then closes the door behind him. "Excuse the mess."
Cas takes in the place, and notes that even if it's clearly a bachelor pad, it isn't exactly what he would consider messy. It's more sparse than anything, a far cry from the cozy home Dean had with Lisa. Cas's chest hurts at the knowledge that he's the reason Dean doesn't have that anymore.
Dean walks past him and sprawls out across the threadbare couch. "So what do you need?"
Cas supposes he shouldn't have expected any more. He wrings his hands for a lack of anything else to do with them, taking note of the fact that his palms are sweaty. He wipes them on his pants and tries to make eye contact with Dean. He doesn't quite make it.
"First, I want to apologize."
Dean raises an eyebrow.
"The way things ended... I'm sorry, Dean."
Dean turns his head away to stare at a crack in the wall, dismissively saying, "Yeah, that's fine, Cas, you had a lot going on. That it?" As much as Dean is trying to cover it up, Cas can hear the emotion in his words and it makes his heart break.
"Meg and I split up," Cas offers quietly, unable to bring his eyes up from the ground.
"What!?" When Cas chances a glance up at him, Dean is starting at him in open amazement.
Castiel nods, a slow, solemn motion. "We could never get past the miscarriage. It was too painful to see each other and pretend at normalcy day in and day out. Also..." Cas does make eye contact with Dean now. "I never could get over you."
Dean is blinking at him, mouth opening and closing silently.
Castiel continues, "I was afraid to say it before, Dean, but I love you, too."
Dean is up off the couch and kissing Castiel so fast that it makes Cas's head spin. It's a desperate kiss, full of all the hurt and pining that's built up over months away, and it leaves Cas clutching Dean and panting against his mouth when they finally pull apart.
"I love you, Cas, shit, I love you so much," Dean whispers against Cas's lips, and Cas pulls him closer, needing to feel him, feel that this is real and happening, that Dean doesn't hate him and didn't send him away.
"Thank you for opening the door, Dean," Cas rasps.
"Hey." Dean takes Castiel's chin between his fingers and tilts Cas's face up until he looks at Dean. "I will always open the door for you."