"You wanna get drinks and dinner after tour tonight?" Jamie asked Eddie as they headed back into their car after dropping their prison transport back at prison.
"I can't tonight" Eddie said sheepishly
"I get it, you don't want to lose to me in darts twice in one week" Jamie said smirking
"Oh you wish, I was having an off night" Eddie said
"SO what gives you got a hot date or something?" Jamie asked
"I actually do have a date tonight" Eddie said looking away from him
"Oh. Well ok, have fun" Jamie said trying to mask the hurt in his voice
"Jamie" Eddie said gently
"No, go have fun. Make smart decisions, remember if you get pregnant you will die" Jamie said smirking at the end
"Alright no more chick flicks for you" Eddie said laughing
"Seems like I won't have to watch them anymore" Jamie said icily
"Reagan" Eddie said putting her hand on his arm
"Sorry, forget it"
"You are moodier than any teenage girl I ever met" Eddie said rolling her eyes, not knowing how many times they could talk around the subject but never talk about the subject
"Whatever Janko" Jamie said
They got back to the precinct relatively quickly and quietly. Eddie had finished getting ready for her date, and while it did take her longer, Jamie usually always waited for her but when she walked out of the locker-room he was no where to be found. She was going on a date but she still couldn't get her partner off her mind. She was tired of constantly making these jokes about them but never actually having a conversation. They both were off tomorrow and she decided to grab their favorite breakfast sandwiches and bribe him with one to talk.
Eddie met up with Paul at the restaurant that they had agreed on. She hadn't told him she was a cop but she hadn't told him she wasn't a cop. She just said she did a lot of case review and he seemed satisfied with that answer.
They ordered their drinks at the bar while their table was getting ready. Eddie knew she talked a lot but this guy had nothing on her. It was someone she met at the gym and he seemed nice and normal enough, but she wanted out of this date badly.
Once they were seated at their table she knew she needed to leave.
"So that's enough about me, what did you say you do again?" He finally asked
"Oh, well it's not nearly as exciting as your job" Eddie said rolling her eyes "It's a lot of paperwork, data review, looking at case files" Eddies said
"Sounds so interesting" He said not really listing to what she was saying, instead his eyes never left her chest.
"Um, do I have something on my shirt?" Eddie asked looking down
"Oh what? No you're great" He said distracted
"Umm, ok" Eddie said pulling the menu a little higher to her
Next Paul started to slid his hand up Eddie's skirt when she moved away.
"We're in public" Eddie said
"No one can see"
"I can and I would like you to stop" Eddie said
He kept talking about himself but it was when he was talking about how he felt that he always needed to have sex on the first date to really understand who he was dating was when Eddie knew this was not going to end well.
Her first red flag should have been when he wanted to sit on the same side of the table as her. Once he took his hand off her leg, his other went around her back and shoulders.
"Paul, please" Eddie said sliding away
He kept his hand there and was trying to feel her bra clasp when Eddie jumped up.
"I'm going to the bathroom" Eddie said grabbing her purse and walking as fast as she could to the bathroom
"Jamie pickup" Eddie said as she called him and paced around
"Janko aren't you supposed to be on some fancy date?" Jamie asked
"I need you to come pick me up, please. He's giving off a really creepy vibe and I want out" Eddie pleaded
Jamie didn't question her tone and nodded and then realized she wouldn't be able to see him.
"You want me to come in or just text you when I'm outside?" Jamie asked changing from his sweats to jeans and putting his sneakers on
"Can you come in, I'll tell him you're my brother or something. You need to sell it this guy is weird"
"Um yea" Jamie said not knowing how he got into these situations
"Thank you, I'm just gonna tell him I'm sick or something" Eddie said
"Alright I got you"
Eddie thanked whatever God Jamie believed in that he agreed to come get her and took a few calming breaths. While it wasn't anything like what happened with Jake, she was not comfortable with the direction the night was going and it was bringing back bad memories.
After a few more seconds she composed herself enough but mussed her hair up a tad to make it look like she was sick.
"I was wondering if you were waiting for me to come in there" Paul said as she sat back down
"I actually don't feel very well, my brother is coming to pick me up" Eddie said putting a hand to her stomach
"We can eat and then I can take you home and stay with you"
"No that's ok really, my brother's on his way..." Eddie said trailing off
"I don't mind"
"I know but I do" Eddie said
"I promise you would feel all better when I am done"
"I'll pass" Eddie said angrily
She was trying to figure out what to do next when she finally saw Jamie's car out of the window. She saw him jog up to the door and walk in and talk to the waiter.
"Hey sis" Jamie said walking over. "Diarrhea or constipation tonight. You know all the coffee you drink isn't helping"
Eddie shot him a look and he gave her a small smirk.
"You really called your brother to pick you up from our date. And to think I was gonna let you sleep with me" Paul said
"You what?!" Eddie asked getting annoyed
"Come on Eds" Jamie said gently grabbing her jacket off the chair next to her
As soon as she stood up he put his arm around her waist and a hand on her elbow.
He guided her out of the car and put her in the car.
Her head was spinning, she didn't know how she ended up with another date that just treated her like a piece of meat, she also hated that the first and really the only person she trusted to get her out of that situation was Jamie.
Neither one of them spoke until they were a few traffic lights away from the restaurant.
"Tha" "You" They both said at the same time
"Sorry you first" Jamie said to her
"Jamie, thank you for picking me up. I don't think you understand how much it meant to me"
"Well just try and get better taste in guys" Jamie said before he realized what he actually said
"Sorry that was mean. You don't have to thank me. You're my partner, I would do anything for you. I'm glad you know you can count on me" Jamie said
"I know but thank you" Eddie said genuinely
"You ok?" Jamie asked her
"Yea, my head's just spinning" Eddie said
"He spike your drink? He touch you?" Jamie asked getting defensive
"No, no nothing like that, my head's just spinning from the night. I mean I had one glass of wine at the bar and saw them pour it and never left it unattended. He tried to touch me but I... can we not talk about it right now?" Eddie asked
"Ok" Jamie said nodding
"You eat yet?" Eddie asked
"Yea I had dinner with Sarge" Jamie said
"Oh" Eddie said turning her head
"Janko" Jamie said seeing her turn out of the corner of his eye "I'm guessing you never got your food"
"No"
"Am I stopping for pizza too?" Jamie asked turning to face her at a red light
"You mind?"
"Nah" Jamie said knowing there was more on her mind
"You can come up and have some, hang out for a little"
"Eddie, just cause you had"
"What Jamie? Just cause I had a crappy date and I'm hungry and it's barely 8:30 it means you can't come up? It's not a replacement date Jamie. I'm hungry and I don't really wanna be alone" Eddie said, voice shaking
Jamie rubbed a hand over his face before agreeing. "Ok"
They were quiet except for Eddie calling for the pizza, once they got to the pizza place Jamie was about to get out but Eddie hopped out faster.
"I can pay for it or some of it" Jamie said awkwardly when she got back in the car
"It's fine" Eddie said
"I might eat some though" Jamie said
Eddie didn't say anything she just burst out laughing
"I would except nothing less" Eddie said
They pulled up to Eddie's and Jamie parked. They still hadn't said much but they made their way up and into her place and she set the pizza on the counter.
"I'm gonna change"
Jamie no sooner had their pizza plated before she came out in leggings and a t-shirt.
"Sorry I went casual"
"Fine by me" Jamie said "You want a beer?" Jamie asked
"Um no. Actually can you not drink one either? I wanna talk to you"
"Uh, sure ok" Jamie said growing nervous
Jamie said on the sofa and Eddie said on the coffee table facing him.
"You're sitting on a table"
"Yes I realize that" Eddie said
Jamie just nodded, he'd been friends long enough with Eddie to know when to stop talking.
"Thank you for picking me up tonight. It was a very uncomfortable situation and it brought back some bad memories. I wanted out and I called you because I trust you with my life Reagan, I knew you would help me. I didn't intend for a replacement date or second string or whatever you want to call it. I just needed my best friend tonight" Eddie said looking away
Jamie put his hand on her knee but she quickly slapped it away hard.
"What the?"
"Oh my God, Jamie. I didn't, I'm sorry" Eddie said looking down
"Ed, look at me please" Jamie said softly
Eddie knew his next question and so she figured she'd answer it for him.
"He put his hand on my knee and tried to go up my skirt and then after that he was trying to take my bra off over my shirt and that's when I called you" Eddie said
"I'm really sorry Eddie" Jamie said gently, keeping his hands as far away from her as possible
"It's been years since Jake and one freaking night and all those same feelings come back" Eddie said trying not to cry
"It's ok Eddie"
"It's not" She said louder than she intended to. "I worked so hard to get rid of them and just one stupid little date and they're back" She said putting her head in her hands
"Can I hug you?" Jamie asked her, not wanting to spook her
Eddie shook her head no.
"Ok" Jamie said sliding back on the sofa, away from her
"I'm sorry. This wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about, it wasn't..."
"It's ok" Jamie said putting his hand on her forearm. That was their thing, what they did in work and out of work and he hoped it would be ok
She finally looked up at him, eyes wet.
"Can I please hug you, you're breaking my heart here"
Eddie just shook her head no.
"Eds maybe you need to talk to someone again" Jamie said gently
"It's not that"
"You won't let me touch you, and you're crying. You need some help processing this"
"Can I talk and can you not say anything until I get it all off my chest" Eddie said wiping her eyes
"Ok" Jamie said nervously
"umm ok" Eddie said taking a deep breath
"Jamie, I know that we've talked around our friendship and partnership for a while now and you've always been team partnership and I flip back and forth but Jamie I don't know if I can keep talking around it. But I also don't think I'm ready to date you"
"Ed"
"Jamie please" Eddie begged
"Sorry" Jamie said motioning for her to continue
"I want you to know how much I value our partnership and friendship first and foremost. Jamie you've been a constant for the last several years, one of the very few people I know I can trust and that will protect me and fight right next to me. I do have feelings for you, feelings that are more than just platonic and more than just knowing we always have each other's backs and I've had these feelings for awhile and I've tried to convince myself otherwise and act like everything is fine. But I can't do it anymore. But before you jump in about the job, I also don't think I can date you right now. I'm more broken and damaged than I thought" Eddie said when it looked like Jamie was about to but in he stopped.
"You have your own emotional baggage to deal with and I understand that and I know that. I've been trying to date to convince myself we can just be friends but look where it gets me. I disappoint you by telling you about the date and not having dinner with you and then I get into trouble and your the first one I call to bail me out. I got what I deserve tonight" Eddie said
"Whoa no I am gonna cut you off" Jamie said
"Eddie, no you didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve it years ago and you don't deserve it now. No matter what" Jamie said swallowing his emotions hard
"But...it always comes off to you as the backup as the last resort" Eddie said feeling a few tears fall
"And I'm just as at fault in that situation" Jamie said
"I need you to know that I have these feelings, that I don't know if I can make them go away but also know that I can't lose you in any capacity. You're my best friend and I need my best friend. I'm trying to put myself back together and the pieces aren't fitting right" Eddie said with tears
"Hey there's nothing wrong with feeling off but don't worry, I'm right here to help you put the pieces back together"
"It's not fair to you for me to call you when I'm like this" Eddie said
"I want you to call me when you're like this, if I can help in anyway you know I will" Jamie said, feeling a few tears spring to his eyes
"I just don't know what I want now" Eddie said crying
Jamie leaned forward to hug her and she hugged him back and slid both of them back onto the sofa.
"It's ok to not know what you want. Hell I don't want you seeing other guys but I don't have the balls to ask you out yet." Jamie said "We've been playing with fire by constantly going around the actual issue and I know that's more me than you. But cards on the table, Janko, I like you too, more than just a friend and these feelings aren't going away but you know I play things safe and in playing it safe I haven't asked you out yet. I truly believe that one day we will get there when the time it right for both of us. And the time wasn't right for me, I needed to work though stuff and now you need to work through stuff" Jamie said
Eddie slid off his lap and next to him on the sofa.
"I think I need to put myself back together before we can change our relationship. Right now I need my best friend" Eddie said, voice breaking
"I'm right here, you always have me" Jamie said
"I don't want it to change our relationship" Eddie said
"It won't Eddie. I have your back, just like you have mine" Jamie said
"Thank you" Eddie said
Jamie just nodded and kissed the top of her head.
"I don't know how after all the times you had to save me how you could still like me"
"I like the challenge" Jamie said smirking, which earned him a poke in the stomach from Eddie. "But seriously Ed, I would do anything for you. I hope you know that. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, and not someone who deserves to be treated the way you were treated tonight"
Eddie didn't say anything, she just buried her face in his shoulder.
"I mean it Janko, you deserve better than that"
"You don't care that I'm broken"
"You're not broken Eddie, you're you. You're my best friend, I know exactly who you are and if you need me to help you find you I will"
"I didn't think it would make me feel this way"
"What way"
"Like I deserved it"
"No one deserves it" Jamie said firmly
"I think I was trying to date other guys to prove to myself and I guess you to a degree that I was dateable and that I deserve happiness to but that is what I got instead"
"You didn't deserve it, you didn't ask for him to not respect you, how would you have known. And you don't have to prove anything to me" Jamie said
"Thank you"
"He should have respected you Eddie"
"Sometimes I still feel that I don't deserve that respect because of everything my father did"
"You deserve even more for having your family ripped apart and your life changed so drastically and still wanting to make a difference in the world" Jamie said, which made Eddie cry again
"What, why are you crying now?" Jamie asked concerned
"It's still weird when people give me permission to get upset over what my dad did. I'm usually looked at just as bad as him"
"It's not your fault Eddie" Jamie said wiping her cheek with his thumb "I promise to always respect you"
"Thank you" Eddie said nodding into his arm
"Can you look at me for a second?" Jamie said
Eddie looked up at him and wiped her eyes
"Someone once told me that its ok to feel the way I'm feeling and that it's ok to not always be ok" Jamie said
"She's pretty great isn't she?" Eddie asked giving him a small smile
"She's ok, I guess I'll keep her around" Jamie said
"Thank you, for everything. And for promising to wait for me to put myself back together"
"I'll always wait up for you" Jamie said
Eddie kissed the side of his cheek and hugged him again and he just hugged her back.
"I still can't believe you asked half the restaurant if I was constipated or having diarrhea" Eddie said rolling her eyes
"You said to sell it!" Jamie said laughing "I was trying think of what could get your out quickly, I didnt know what you had already said to him. I did the best i could, i got you out"
"You did, thank you" Eddie said seriously
"You're gonna be ok, and us together, we'll be ok too" Jamie said
I hope you all liked it. Remember these are just moments before they get together in my Partners and Friends stories. Don't forget to review!