I still own none of these characters but I am incredibly grateful for the priviledge of writing about them...thank you again Stephenie Meyer for creating them. Thank you to Binky911 for your continuous support even through RL challenges. You really are my super star!
Thanks to all my readers who have supported my story and sent me reviews...posting this wouldn't be the same without your comments.
Chaper 10
~ BELLA POV ~
I lay on my bed with my headphones on, an open birthday card lying on the bed beside me. Dearest Alice had never been late for anything in her life. My birthday card had arrived today; the day before my 20th birthday.
Bella,
Happiest of birthday wishes to you! Wow, a woman of 20!
I've enclosed a gift I thought you might find some use for as well as a list of must's to download.
I love you very much!
The one and only,
Alice
Inside the card was a $50 iTunes card and a list of songs. Alice really did some odd things. I'd have to download them to my laptop and then I guess I could burn some CDs for my car. Some of the songs on the list looked familiar but most did not.
I got busy downloading right away and listened to the first song, Forbidden Flame by Spirits. I was listening to a part of the song that had Edward written all over it.
There was a line
You wouldn't cross
But if you did
Would you cross it with me
And you were so quick
To attract what we did
But I know, you know
what we've done
It's like that girl had some sort of sixth sense.
"Bella! Bella! You have a visitor." Dad was knocking on my door. A visitor? I wasn't expecting anyone.
"Coming, Dad."
As I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs I was greeted by James.
"Hey James. How did you know… where I lived?" I looked at him puzzled.
"This is Forks, Bella. It's not that difficult to find out things when you want to." He didn't move from his spot at the door. Suddenly, I understood the tense look on his face.
"Who's your friend Bella?" Dad leaned against the doorframe beside his gun belt.
"Dad, this is James. Remember we went to the movies the other night with Mike and Jessica?"
"Oh. Nice to meet you." He extended his hand to James, who looked like Dad might bite. "Didn't you and your family just move back to Forks?"
"Umm, yes, Sir. We just moved back from Seattle." He turned to me, nervously. "I was wondering if you would like to go for a walk with me. Maybe we could get some ice cream or something?"
"Sure." I said. "Give me a minute to change." I wasn't sure if I should be creeped out that he sought me out or flattered. I chose to go with flattered for the moment.
James was easy to be with. We liked the same kinds of music. We got each other's jokes. It was as easy as breathing being with him but, there was no spark for me. I didn't know if I was trying to compare the electricity that I felt with Edward to what I felt for James. How do you compare real life with a fantasy?
We sat and ate our ice cream and spoke about dreams and aspirations.
My phone started ringing.
"Excuse me, one second. I have a message."
BBMessage from Alice:: Did u get my card? ::
BBMessage from Bella:: Yes I did I'm so excited! Thank u so much! Umm what's with the song list? ::
BBMessage from Alice:: Just trust me. u'll like these songs. Watcha doin' for the BDay? ::
BBMessage from Bella:: Nothin. u know I don't like 2 celebrate. N e way… on a date…talk 2 u later? ::
BBMessage from Alice:: DATE? WTF? U have 2 call me later? ::
BBMessage from Bella:: Will do! xoxo ::
"I'm really sorry about that. It was my cousin." I apologized to James for being rude.
"Oh, that's okay. I understand."
During the walk home James reached for my hand. I held his but honestly, it felt weird. Like holding a friend's hand; it wasn't intimate for me but I could see in his eyes that it was for him. I realized at that moment that I might be playing a dangerous game. I needed to go home and sort this out in my head. I was still comparing James to the unattainable, the unrealistic, the divine Edward.
He walked me home and as we approached the front door I started to panic.
Please don't try to kiss me.
Please don't try to kiss me.
Please don't try to kiss me.
I repeated it over and over in my head. Thankfully when we reached the door he was a perfect gentleman and said his goodbyes.
"I had a great time with you tonight, Bella."
"Me too, James. I have to get inside. I can hear Dad pacing just inside the door." I felt awkward but he was so sweet.
When I got inside I hunted out the portable phone. Dad always left it in some crazy place. I pressed the button on the base to locate it - this time it was in the fridge.
"Heeeelloooo." Alice always sounded like music when she spoke.
"Hey Alice! I'm home now!"
"Okay. So first thing, let me say an early Happy Birthday." She proceeded to sing the birthday song to me. "Second when are you going to do something about your dancing? You are sitting on a world of talent and Forks has nothing to offer you." I cringed. I knew the onslaught of questions that was coming now. "Okay, and thirdly woman, I need details. Who is he? Where did you go? Do I know him? Is he cute? How did you meet him? How serious is it?"
"Whoa, whoa, Alice. Slow down! Take a breath! One at a time! Okay, I'm not that talented and you know that dancing is such a non-profession. I'm just going to work away at Newton's until I can put away some more money for University. And…..his name is James, he's super nice and very cute and he's Mike Newton's cousin. He's just moved back from Seattle with his family."
"Can you see me rolling my eyes at you, Isabella Swan? Dancing is NOT a non-profession! James, huh? He lived here? Perfect, I'll start doing some research! What's his last name?"
"Umm Alice? I don't think that's necessary and come to think of it I don't even know his last name. We really don't know each other that well but he's so easy to be around." I sighed. "You know I'm not really looking for a relationship right now."
"Sometimes, you don't need to look. Sometimes, sparks fly and things happen." I got the shivers as she said 'sparks fly'.
"Yes, I suppose. Well listen, I'm going to crawl into bed. I'm really tired."
"Okay, honey. I love you! Remember sometimes the chemistry between two people just can't be denied. Just fall, honey. Don't over think. Love you."
"Love you too." Why didn't I feel like she was talking about James? Alice knew me better than anyone. We never spoke about that weekend, that night, or Edward. She was there. She saw. You had to be blind not to see. But she'd never asked and I never told.
I woke up in a tangle of sheets, my pillow was no longer under my head and a quick inspection led me to discover it was on the floor. I didn't usually sleep so restlessly. I looked over at the clock 2:46am. I was exhausted but I couldn't get my mind to settle. I untangled my legs from the mess of sheets, retrieved my pillow from the floor and reached for my laptop.
As I opened my laptop the card and download list from Alice fell to the floor. I stretched over the side of the bed and retrieved them. As long as I was up I might as well continue downloading my list. I loved Alice dearly but she honestly made the strangest requests sometimes. Odd that she should give me a list of specific songs to download. Then again considering this was Alice maybe it wasn't that peculiar. When we were children she would ask me to do things like stand in a particular spot or do a particular thing and when asked why, she would simply trill, "Trust me." After I had all the songs downloaded I hoped I could put together some CD's for dancing.
It was after midnight so I was officially twenty now, an adult, and I still had no idea as to what direction I should take with my life. After high school, I figured I would work until I decided 'what I wanted to be when I grew up', but here I was, officially an adult and still no decision. Alice continuously harped on me to do something with my dancing; I just didn't see a career in it. I loved to dance, it was something I did well and wasn't clumsy with. I had taken a part time job after I graduated three evenings a week teaching hip hop and jazz to kids at a local dance school. That was about the biggest career I could see coming out of it. Not exactly a moneymaker but combined with my job at Newton's, I was putting quite a bit of savings away.
Along with the dilemma of what I was going to do with my life, came all the complex thoughts about Edward and James. Sleep was definitely going to evade me for the rest of this evening. I forced myself to think about the position I was potentially putting myself in with James. How unusual it was to find someone that I got along with so well; someone who I would probably not have questioned starting a relationship with prior to ...Edward. Just thinking his name played images through my mind that registered with my girly bits right away. I shivered. I certainly hadn't been looking for a boyfriend; I was quite happy with my own company most of the time. I was very much a loner like my Dad. Edward however had awakened feelings in me that I didn't know had existed. How could I realistically start dating James when Edward was playing a starring role in my daily thoughts? It seemed deceitful and furthermore, there was no spark with James. I tried to justify this in my head. Was there a spark with anyone I had dated before or just a familiarity, an interest? Edward was the only one who had created the absolute electricity. Was he eclipsing any other feelings that I might have otherwise had?
When I reached the bottom of Alice's download list I looked up from my laptop screen to the curtains slowly fluttering from the ceiling fan and realized the sky was just starting to change. The navy blue of the late night sky fading into the lighter blue meant the sun would be bright in the sky in about an hour. My eyes suddenly felt very heavy. I yawned, stretched, closed my laptop and placed it on my nightstand. Maybe I could get a little sleep. I snuggled into my bed and let sleep take over.
Oh no! What time was it? I was going to be late for work. I flew out of the bed and only after I tripped over my laundry hamper spilling the contents to the floor did I realize that it was my birthday and I had the day off. Stupid Bella!
"Bells, are you okay?" Dad had obviously heard my graceful crash to the floor and ran up the stairs to see what sort of injury I had inflicted upon myself. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah Dad! Come in, but I'm okay." Dad opened the door and I could see the smirk he tried to hide as he bit down on the inside of his lips. He was obviously trying hard not to laugh at me sprawled across the floor and as I scrambled to put my clothes back into the hamper.
"I just...well...you know." He extended his hand to help me up of the floor and engulfed me into a bear hug.
"Happy Birthday, honey! I can't believe you're twenty today."
"I can't believe it myself." I grumbled.
"Come downstairs. I'm making you some breakfast."
"Umm, is that a good idea?" Dad wasn't exactly known for being a good cook. More than once, I'd had to save the kitchen with a fire extinguisher.
"It's ok, trust me. I just put some toaster pancakes in and I got some whipped cream and strawberries for you. Totally fail proof." His sentence was punctuated by the smoke alarm. So much for those toaster pancakes. He made a mad dash down the stairs and called over his shoulder. "Your Mom is on her way over."
I finished picking up the rest of the clothes, brushed my teeth and ran my fingers through my hair to gain some semblance of humanity and went downstairs. When I reached the kitchen, I popped out the second attempt at toaster pancakes before they too were sacrificed and tossed them on a plate. Dad came around the corner singing.
"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Bells! Happy Birthday to you!" It was adorably off key but you had to applaud the effort. He handed me a beautifully wrapped little box with a sparkly ribbon on top. "I hope you like it honey."
"Awww... thank you Dad! I'm sure I'll love it." I shamelessly tore open the package. I loved presents! Under the wrapping was an iPod box. "OMG It's just what I wanted." I squealed. "Alice told you right?"
"Alice? No." He looked puzzled. "The lady in the department store said that's what all the young people had these days."
"Hellloooo." Mom called out as she came down the hall. "Where's the birthday girl?" She still had a key to the door. Dad figured with me living here that she should have unrestricted access. I was pretty lucky to have parents that got along so well after their divorce.
"There you are, Bella honey! Happy Birthday!" She pulled a gift bag out from behind her back. I clapped like a small child that just found their first quarter from the tooth fairy. Did I mention how much I loved presents? Tearing into the bag there were several items; a gift certificate for Victoria's Secret, a new pair of sunglasses, iPod equipment to connect my new toy to my car (Mom and Dad had obviously collaborated) and an envelope from Phil with $200 in it. This was shaping up to be a pretty wonderful birthday.
After eating entirely too much breakfast, Mom headed out and Dad went off to work. I went upstairs to spread out my new acquisitions on the bed and load some music onto my iPod when my phone started to buzz. This would be the morning birthday greetings starting.
BBMessage Jessica:: HB Baby! What r u doing 2 celebrate? ::
BBMessage Bella:: Dunno yet. Let's do something k? Call me later. ::
BBMessage Jessica:: Cool. Mike says HB 2! ::
BBMessage Rosalie:: Happy Birthday honey. Still on vacay. Call u with the deets when I get back. LOVE U! ::
BBMessage Bella:: Thanx! Can't wait to hear! ::
BBMessage Alice:: It's your birthday baby! Remember just FALL. NOT literally ok. ;) ::
BBMessage Bella:: Ha Ha very funny. ::
Bzzz bzzzz
Accept Contact James? Yes - No
How did he find out my BB pin? This guy was nothing if not persistent. I accepted his request.
BBMessage James:: Happy Birthday Beautiful Bella! ::
BBMessage Bella:: Thanx. How did u know it was my birthday? ::
BBMessage James:: I have a knack 4 stuff like that. *shrugs* ::
Bzzz bzzzz
Accept Contact ECullen? Yes – No
My palms were suddenly sweating; my heart was thumping in my chest. Part of me wanted to accept the request right away but part of me was thinking this was some sympathy gesture. No doubt he'd heard from Rose that it was my birthday. I found myself pacing the room, staring at my phone. I was unable to pick it up as it continued to buzz as other messages came in. I couldn't look. I couldn't think. I decided to go and take a long hot shower and headed for the bathroom.
I stood under the steady stream of hot water with my forehead on the wall. Why was this man able to create all these complicated feelings in me? I remembered that weekend and how he had managed to have my insides twisted in knots with just a glance and then that crooked smile but this was ridiculous! Bella Swan, you are not going to allow a man to screw your head up! I couldn't move forward until I settled this. By the time I was getting out of the shower, I had decided to accept the request. I would hear what he had to say and basically let him off the hook. There was no point in dragging this out. I would no doubt see him at other family functions and I didn't want it to be awkward. "So that's it!" I said out loud as I wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at myself. Oh boy. Now I was talking to myself. Crazy!
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