It didn't make any sense. As his eyes carefully examined every word, every letter she had written, and it didn't make any sense to him. He knew she was trying to tell him something, just from how harsh her words were, and the lies she told. He tried to deny the truth in her words, that she was with child. Because Gods know she didn't marry Robb, that she never slept with Robb, only him...gods that was his child inside of her...he was going to be a father.
For a moment, Jon forgot himself, forgot that he was on the wall, forgot that he had the oath to take. For one single moment, all Jon felt was an utter joy. But then he remembered, he remembered where he was, where she was and her betrothal to his brother Robb. No wonder she was so cruel, no one could suspect Jon to be the father, for her sake as well as his. He could tell from the scroll that she was in danger, she hated using titles, calling herself future Lady of Winterfell is something she would never do. This scroll was a warning, a warning of the danger she was in, a warning to keep his distance from her.
Jon didn't know what to feel. His moment of joy was over and in its place was fear, and worry. This was his fault, wasn't it? But he couldn't bring himself to regret what they did, only that it was causing her so much trouble. But one day, she would return to Winterfell, one day she would be out of danger and he'd ride to Winterfell and see her and hold his child in his arms, a child that would be called Robb's. It would kill him, seeing her with another, even if it was his brother, but he could handle it, as long as he got to see her and his child. It wouldn't be long now before he was a sworn brother. Before Emylea would return to Winterfell and he would go visit. Everything would be fine, it had to be.
Gods, if you're up there, keep her safe from harm, her and the babe
He silently sent up his hopeful prayer and tucked the scroll under his bed, drifting back off to sleep.
Here he was. Somehow he wasn't surprised, but relieved, he needed to see her, speak to her. He was dressed in the black cape and armor like before, and he was standing in his small patch of snow, surrounded by the vast grassy landscape. And there she was, in her long, red flowing silk dress. She was so beautiful, words couldn't describe what he felt when he saw her. He wanted to run to her, to pick her up and kiss her deeply. But she only walked to him slowly with a soft smile on her lips.
"I didn't expect to see you so soon," she admitted, offering him her right hand. He took it and stepped out of the snow and pulled her into him. He hugged her tightly before pulling back and crashing his lips against hers. Her lips seemed almost to burn him, but he didn't care. Once they broke away he cupped her soft cheeks in his gloved hands.
"What was that for?" she asked with a breathless smile.
"I love you so much, do you know that? And I'm sorry I can't be there with you when the child is born but I'm still here, " he said quickly, trying to get out all of his words before he was whisked away yet again. Her smile darkened at his words.
"What is it?" he asked, her smile disappearing completely and being replaced with tears.
"Emylea, tell me, what's wrong? Is it the child?" he asked, starting to sound a bit frantic, his voice laced with panic and fear.
"It's a she," she told him with a tear-filled smile.
"And she's beautiful" she continues, her voice cracking.
"Did something happen?" he asks emotionlessly, fearing the worst.
"Not yet, not in your world", she replied back, her voice deprived of emotion, deprived of feeling.
"Tell me, so I can fix it...please just tell me" he begged, tears starting to well up in his eyes as well. She shakes her head.
"She's so beautiful Jon, so beautiful" she whispered absently, stepping back from him. Back and away. He tried to step towards her but his feet were trapped in the snow.
"Emylea?" he asks, she shakes her head.
"It's Rhaella now"
I needed to get warm, I needed to be hot.
"Marian, draw me a bath please, boil the water" I order my handmaiden.
"Right away my lady" she replies before she walks out of the room. My chambers, more like my prison. I had been in here a week at the least, sure I was free to roam about the palace grounds, but I had two guards who followed my every move and who made Winter on edge. I didn't want to roam about for fear of risking Winter's life. Her life and mine for that matter all depended on obedience. Obedience to the Queen and her guards.
I sat at my vanity, Winter laying by my feet as I brushed my hair and occasionally nibbled on the food that was brought to me. I wanted to refuse, refuse the food and let my body succumb to starvation, but I didn't have just me to think about anymore. I had her. My pregnancy was becoming slightly more apparent, I had a very small bump on my stomach that looked like it could be bloating to anyone who didn't suspect. Staring into my mirror I could see how pale I had become, the unkemptness of my hair, my visible weakness.
I almost jumped when the guards came in, carrying the large bronze tub into the center of my room. After the guards came maids with buckets full of steaming hot water. I watched as they filled up the tub and added some lavender to the water, no doubt they could see the circles under my eyes. Once the tub was full all of the maids left except for Marian. She helped me undress and into the tub.
"My Lady are you sure? The water is boiling hot, it's not good for you or the babe" she warned as I sunk into the water. It didn't burn me as I predicted, it was soothing, the heat seemed to cradle me and pull me into a loving embrace. It wasn't painful, it was pleasurable.
"Don't be afraid Marian, I'm fine," I told her, trying to soothe her nerves as the water soothed mine. I could feel the heat inside me start to rise to the surface of my skin. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being hot while Marian started tending to my hair. I felt her brushing it out and pulling it into braids, pinning them to the top of my head into a bun.
"Will there be anything else my lady?" she asks me politely as she rises to her feet.
"No, thank you, Marian," I tell her with a gracious smile. She smiles politely back and exits the room, leaving me to my bath and my thoughts. I couldn't help but look at the small swell of my belly, laying my right hand on top to try and hold the child inside, to try and reach her, my last connection to Jon.
"You know, your father is a very brave man" I whispered, wondering if she could hear me. Winter did however, she lifted her head up and moved to lay by the hot tub, putting her head back down to sleep.
"He's sweet and kind and loves you very much. I'm sure he's excited to meet you, almost as excited as I am. I bet you'll have his raven black curls, and his soft smile, perhaps his dark brown eyes as well" I mutter absently, getting lost in my thoughts, trying desperately to conjure his image into my mind. When I closed my eyes, I could feel him. I could feel my head on his chest and the beating of his heart, the warmth of his arms wrapped around me, that soft smile he reserved only for me.
Closing my eyes brought me back to that bed in Winterfell. I was back with him and he was stroking my hair and looking at me with such love. My head laid on his chest as I let myself be held and relaxed into his touch.
My daydreams were interrupted by the knock on my chamber door.
"Who is it?" I call.
"It's Sansa" a soft voice called back.
I could instantly feel my temperature rising with my anger and feelings of betrayal. How dare she come here?
"Go away" I called back, trying to keep my temper at bay.
"Please? I only wanted to..."
"I said go away, Sansa!" I shouted, unable to reign in my anger.
"But..."
"Do as I say and leave!" I shout, keeping my eyes closed, trying to get back to where I was with Jon. I hear silence from the other end of the door and the sound of fading footsteps. I sighed in relief. I couldn't see Sansa, not unless I wished to lash out at her, which I didn't. All we needed was space from one another, but I don't know if I could ever forgive her for trapping me here, for keeping me away from him and making me a hostage.
I finished the rest of my bath in silence, thinking of what it would be like if I was back at Winterfell with Jon and I didn't have to lie. I would hope he'd be happy. I know he would insist on us getting married, he would never subject his child to what he had to go through. He would love her with all his heart and then some. Maybe we'd live in a cottage just outside of Winterfell, the three of us. We could have been so happy...but I have to stop thinking about that. I can no longer daydream about what could have been, I must focus on what is.
I called Marian back into my chamber and she helped me out of the tub and into my robe. I took my time getting dressed. I was wearing a golden silk dress, a Lannister dress. The Queen's cruel way of claiming me I suppose. It was long sleeved and heavy, something made for winter living, not the summer. I couldn't help but smile, she was unintentionally helping me with my plans.
After I was fully dressed, Marian escorted me and Winter to the throne room. I was more than shocked to see Eddard Stark sitting on the Iron Throne. Just from looking at him I could see he was injured, a cast wrapped tightly around his leg and he looked pained to be sitting on the throne. It was only simple matters he was dealing with...Kingly matters. What happened to the king? I wondered. I spotted Sansa on the other side of the room but thankfully she didn't see me enter.
"Do you see Arya Stark anywhere?" I ask Marian. I hadn't spoken to Arya since our arrival, I couldn't remember how long ago that was.
"I don't my lady, would you like to go look for her?" she asks me almost robotically.
"Yes I would, you don't have to come with me unless you'd like to," I tell her with a soft smile, trying to help her soften up a little.
"I am to accompany you everywhere my lady, you know that," she says, in an almost scolding tone. She was only a year or two older than I was with dark curly hair and small breasts. She was beautiful, regardless if she was a spy. I wasn't quite sure who she was spying for, the Queen? Littlefinger? Varys? Anyone really, that's why she followed and watched me like a hawk.
"Right then, shall we start looking in the Hand's Tower?" I suggest. She only nods curtly and follows me as I walk from the Red Keep to the tower. Winter remains close to my left side, Marian on my right and two guards walking a few feet behind us. I missed my freedom, how was I ever going to escape if I was going to be watched this persistently?
The walk was a silent one, only the sounds of clinking chainmail and armor could be heard. It felt strange, to be followed and guarded like this. If I didn't think too much about it I could almost pretend that I was a princess, that my father was the king and I was simply taking a stroll through the castle. I could pretend that Jon lived her too and that he was courting me, that Arya and Sansa were my guests, that this was my home.
But once we reached the hand's tower, my daydream was broken. I continued on inside, my entourage ever so dutiful remained behind me. As we got closer to the main floor I could hear the smacking of wood.
"Could you all please wait outside? I'll be fine honestly I just want to say hello" I say, trying to sound trustworthy. Marian gives me a skeptical look, a look I imagine the guards mirrored if they lifted up their helms.
"My lady I think it's best if I-"
"No, I am your lady and I asked politely, now I am ordering you. All of you! Wait outside" I say in a commanding tone. They all seem taken back with my tone and before they can respond I enter the main room with Winter by my side. I enter and instantly smile as I see Arya with a wooden sword practicing with a Bravosi man.
"Dead," he says as he delivers a swift smack to her right arm, knocking the wooden play sword out of it. She huffs in frustration as she goes to grab her sword.
"Well that was a fast match," I say, making my presence known. They both turn and look at me.
"Emylea!" Arya said in excitement as she picked up her sword.
"Lady Targaryen, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Syrio" the Bravosi man told me with a respectful bow.
"Nice to meet you Syrio," I tell him with a smile. He smiles back.
"Do you know how to fight?" he asks me with a curious manner.
"I like to think I know how" I admit with a smile.
"She's really good! Emylea, show him" she tells me handing me her practice sword.
"Alright, if you insist," I say with a smile, holding the sword in my left. Winter remains by the door.
"Ah, I see you fight with your left" Syrio tells me, immediately making a move to hit my right side, which I deflect somewhat unsteadily.
"Strong" he mumbles to himself, moving to hit my left side, which I defend a bit stronger than before. We continue, the sounds of wood smacking on wood filling the room. With each stroke we got faster, harder, it was like we were trying to kill one another. And for a moment, that was all there was, wood smacking wood. But then I lost it, my thoughts drifted to Jon, of all the times we use to fight and it made me sloppy. Syrio made to strike my left, but his eyes said the right and I wasn't paying attention and I moved to defend my left, causing a hard hit to be given to my right side, making me gasp in shock and grunt in pain. The sword, however, remained in my hand and I swung it hard to the left with all my might, hitting Syrio in the arm as well.
"I am impressed, but you would have died before giving me that killing blow," he says with a proud smile. I give a slight smile back, pain running up my side. That was all I could focus on, the pain. Oh, no...it couldn't have...Gods could I have been any more careless?!
"Is something the matter?" Syrio asked as I held my right side and tossed my sword to the ground.
"You struck a hard blow is all, please excuse me," I say with a would-be polite smile before I quickly exit the room, Winter being careful to stay close to my side.
"Everything alright my lady?" Marian asks as I quickly walk back to my chambers. I stay silent, my thoughts starting to circle back around and around. What if I just jeopardized the child? What if something is wrong? What have I done? I can feel my chest starting to tighten with fear as I hurry into my chambers, Winter and Marian following close behind while the guards wait outside.
"Marian help me out of this dress," I say somewhat frantically, trying to reach the laces in the back.
"What? Why?" she asks in confusion.
"Just do it!" I snap at her, fear starting to cloud my thoughts. I can feel her starting to pull at my laces, but I couldn't get out of this dress fast enough. After what seemed like a lifetime, it was off. I quickly looked down and saw a large bruise starting to form on my right hip bone. But that was the only sign of bruising, on my hip. It might have rattled her but she wouldn't have been hit...she should be okay.
"My lady, are you alright? Shall I send for the maester?" Marian asks eyeing my bruise.
"No...I should be fine...thank you" I mumble, unable to take my eyes off the bruise. If it was any closer...I was too reckless! I shouldn't have done that! I shouldn't have left my chambers, gods I shouldn't have left Winterfell.
"I think I'm going to remain in my chambers for the rest of the day, will you help me into something not so confining?" I ask her politely. She nods and grabs a white, fur-lined robe and helps me into it. She takes my hair out of its pinned upstate, letting my silver waves hang loosely down my back. I slowly crawl back into my bed and pull up the covers and furs. Winter hops onto the bed and lays down by my feet.
"Is there anything I can get for you, my lady?" Marian asks me politely.
"No thank you, Marian, I just need some rest," I tell her with a bit of a forced smile. She nods and heads for the door, exiting my chambers. I lay a hand on top of the furs, where I think the baby is. I couldn't explain how or why, but this unborn child inside of me gave me comfort, she gave me comfort. It was as if Jon was still here, with me in this way.
"I'm sorry" I whispered down to the small bump, to her.
"There are so many things I want to tell you, so many things" I mumbled, trying to reign in my thoughts.
"Your father and I danced together once" I admit, a smile on my lips at the memory.
"It was only the once, and even then he didn't really want to. Neither of us really liked dancing, but I talked him into it..."
"Come on Jon, just this once!" I begged, tugging on his arm, trying to pull him towards the dancers.
"No! I hate dancing" Jon grumbled, a grimace on his face at the very thought.
"I don't care for it either but it's something to do, now come on!" I told him.
"Fine, but just one dance" he grumbles as I pull him towards the center of the room. Once we reach the center, I guide his hand to my waist and clasp my right hand with his left. We were awkwardly matched, I was only 13 and still quite small for my age, while he was tall, tall compared to me at least.
"Do you even know what you're doing?" he asks as we start to dance along with the music.
"Nope," I tell him with a grin. That causes his grimace to turn into a small smile as we moved with the music. We didn't even notice until later that we were the only ones dancing. We laughed for most of that night, spending the evening without a care in the world. Of course, it was awkward between us. We were only good friends at that point.
"But dancing with him, it was one of the best nights of my life," I said with a smile, my eyes starting to well with tears at the memory.
"I hope you'll get a chance to dance with him too little one" I whisper, wiping away one of my tears as there was a knock on the door.
"Yes?" I called, quickly wiping away my tears and sitting up in my bed, making sure I looked presentable.
"It's Lord Baelish, my Lady, I only wanted a word" he called from the other side of my door.
"Enter Lord Baelish" I answer, taking a deep breath and trying to ready myself for the game. I got an odd feeling from Petry Baelish, a feeling like he was playing a game with me. I watched the door as he entered, Winter lifted her head and started to growl at him. He made her uneasy.
"It's alright Winter," I told her softly. She stopped growling and laid her head back down, but she was watching him as he entered the room, along with two guards who were carrying the chest from the crypts.
"I've brought you a gift," he tells me with a proud smile as the guards set the chest down in the middle of my room.
"Thank you, Lord Baelish, but why?" I ask him warily.
"Think of it as a wedding gift, a show of my goodwill towards you and Robb" he answers with a smile.
"That's very generous of you Lord Baelish" I reply, looking at the chest curiously. Was it the same chest? Or an imitation of the chest? Could this be a trap of some sort?
"Please, call me Pyter," He answers, that same smile on his face. It was irksome and made me feel violated somehow.
"Thank you, Pyter, was there something else you wanted to discuss?" I asked, making sure my robe was covering my chest.
"I only wanted to reassure you that you have a friend, should you ever need one"
He knows something...but what?
"That's very kind of you to say" I answer with a sweet smile. At least with what I hoped was a sweet smile.
"Of course my lady, you could be carrying the future heir of Winterfell and The Warden of the North, I only want to ensure your safety, both of your safeties" he replies with a respectful bow, before exiting the room, along with his guards.
Could that be it? He wanted to get in Robb's and I's good graces, but for what? Did he need support from the North for something? A powerful ally? I wasn't sure. But I was sure of my fatigue. As much as I hated it, I actually needed some rest. I scooted down in my bed and pulled up my furs. Winter's icy blue eyes moved to watch me as I laid down fully and allowed my eyes to close.
There was still no word. No word if she would return to Winterfell or if she was to remain in King's Landing, surrounded by enemies. Robb dared not risk sending another raven, even if it would only portray him as the concerned husband, he did not want to risk her life or the child. The Lannisters were cruel and could find something to accuse her of. Robb considered riding to King's Landing himself to retrieve her, but he couldn't leave his brothers, not when he was entrusted with their safety and with their mother gone. Robb was stuck.
Perhaps that was why it took him so long to realize Bran had disappeared from their ride.
"Where's Bran?" Robb asked frantically looking around the woods for any sign of Bran. Robb trusted his gut and rode off in the direction he suspected Bran went in. He got there just as a band of wildings was about to pull him off his horse. Robb quickly took out his sword and cut down the man he saw cut Bran's leg. From there it was the fighting of swords and his wolf Greywind attacking the other man and woman. Everything seemed to go by so quickly. In one moment Bran was being held hostage with a knife to his throat, in another, the man holding the blade fell over dead. He looked up and saw Theon Greyjoy on the ridge holding a bow with a satisfied smirk on his face.
"Are you mad?!" Robb bellowed as he moved towards Bran. Theon's happy smile soon turned into an angry one.
"I saved his life!" Theon shouted back and held his bow up again pointing it to something behind Robb. Robb glanced back and saw a woman cowering away from Greywind.
"Please my Lord, I beg mercy" she cried out, dropping to her knees.
"And you'll have it, guards, put her in chains" Robb ordered as the guards appeared. Robb should have felt fear or relief that Bran was alright, but all he could think was how this was another thing he had to deal with, another problem to solve. How did his father deal with it all?
"My lady...my lady wake up" a voice whispered from above, barely able to be heard over Winter's growling.
I slowly opened my eyes and saw Varys hovering above me with a worried look. I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.
"Forgive me my lady but I do not have much time. I have a plan to get you out of here and back to your lover. I've heard whispers and something is going to happen very soon, nothing good I'm afraid but something, something that will help you" he whispered hurriedly.
"What?" I ask, slowly sitting up.
"Lord Eddard's sentencing" he answers simply.
"What? The king would never-"
"The King is dead my lady...you've been asleep for some time, 3 days to be exact" he murmurs, confusing me all the more.
"What is he getting sentenced for?" I ask.
"Sorry child but there is no time, I have spoken to him and he told me to tell you to remember the last time you spoke...that you can't go back...very crypt" Varys mumbles to himself.
"Just be at the ready child, there will come a time when I will need you to trust me, without question, for the sake of you and your babe. Can you do that?" he asks quickly.
"Yes...I can do that"
"Good"