The Recovery Period: Chapter Ten

A/n: I know, I'm a terrible person. Forgive the delay. Here's an equally frustrating chapter about Danny not having the conversations he wants to have with the people who are finally here for him.

Sometimes Grace wished she was still young, like Charlie. That way, maybe she wouldn't feel the overwhelming need to fix things herself, and she could go back to innocently relying on her parents, who could do no wrong. But they had done wrong. They had divorced, Danny was constantly in danger (and putting them in danger, despite his best intentions). Rachel had lied to them all for years. Grace grew up pretty fast after that.

There had been no time to readily process Rachel's bombshell of a secret when it was first revealed to her. Everything moved so quickly. Danny rushed off to the hospital to donate his bone marrow, Steve quick at his heels, Rachel rushed off to be with her son, and Grace was in school. Stan was left in the dust, grasping at the air and hoping for his lost son. Grace, too, felt left behind. She was angry at her mother and at her father and at Charlie, just because, but she never let on. Only afterwards, once Charlie was on the road to recovery and Danny and Rachel doted after him with renewed vigor, did Grace begin to feel a sense of guilt welling up inside of her. Should she have known about Charlie? Could she have guessed? She felt like she should have known. She should have tried.

She found Stan in the garage one evening, after he had returned from work. She was home alone, and had heard the garage door open and close, but minutes had passed and Stan had yet to enter the home. Finally, Grace opened the garage door and peered inside. Stan, briefcase in hand, stood at the doorway, his hand holding the doorknob but not twisting it. He was staring at the ground, and appeared to have been doing so for several minutes.

"Stan?" She spoke timidly. He blinked, his only response.

Finally, he had looked up and attempted to smile at his stepdaughter.

"I've helped raise you longer than I raised my own son, but that turned out to go to the crapper." Stan muttered. "And Charlie's going to be fine. And your dad's going to get him."

"No," Grace shook her head. "No, because Mom wouldn't let that happen. Charlie is safe, here with you and Mom."

Stan scoffed, his tone harsh. "You really think I have a chance with Rachel anymore, with Danny crawling around the house 24/7 to be with you and Charlie? You're so fucking naïve." He paused, flushed angrily. "I'm fucking naïve. You're not naïve. You're like a thirty year-old trapped in a little girl's body."

Grace raised her eyebrow. "Thank you?"

"Forget it." Stan rubbed a hand along his face. "Forget everything. Forget I'm even here. Seems easy enough."

"I didn't know, just so you know." Grace thought this was as good a time as any. "I didn't know about Charlie."

Stan's face softened. "I know that, Gracie."

"I would have told you if I knew." Grace insisted.

Stan hesitated. "I don't think that's true, but thank you." He shrugged dejectedly, as if he had exhausted everything there was to say on the subject of losing a child to the perpetually-present ex-husband. "Let's go inside."

Now, Grace sat with the adults while Charlie slept, completely oblivious that there were any other visitors in the house besides his father, when in reality, the place was full. Steve and Danny sat on the couch, silent but close. Eric sat next to Grace on the bottom step of the stairwell, his arm lazily around her shoulders. Rachel stood. Chin was standing as well, the most recent addition to the home. He was holding a sleeping Sara in his arms. She, too, was oblivious. Oblivious to the pale look on her uncle's face and the word he kept repeating to Rachel. Yakuza.

Stan, bitter and alone and helpless, was in the kitchen, sipping Rachel's tea in slow gulps and working his way through a large helping of blueberry pie. He was generally ignored.

Grace's cheeks were still red from her outburst at Steve. She had snapped at Chin, too, when he had first entered the home and it became clear to her that he was seeking the safety of Danny's home (basically) without actually respecting or apologizing to Danny. This was a perversion of the truth, however. Chin's surprised face indicated this to Grace, who stuttered to say something else, but then Danny was reprimanding her from the stairs, and Rachel was shaking her head as well, and only Stan seemed blatantly disinterested. Grace clamped her jaw shut. She wanted to leave. Chin wanted to explain himself. Stan wanted a piece of pie.

"Of course, Chin, I understand." Rachel nodded, her arms crossed over her chest. "Of course. I'll set up the guest room for you. There's another twin bed in Charlie's room. It was an extra for Grace, when she had friends over. Sara can sleep there. Is that all right? Until you get this settled."

The relief washed over Chin's face like a waterfall. "Rachel," he placed his free hand on her arm. "You have no idea what this means to me. Thank you."

"Of course." Rachel said again, nodding. "I understand, Chin." She seemed to be a broken record tonight. She headed up the stairs, Eric and Grace parting for her to walk in between them.

Steve and Danny, who had been eavesdropping in order to not speak to one another, were briefly out of things to do. They glanced at one another.

"You tired?" Danny asked Steve.

"Sleep is for the weak, Danny."

"Yeah, I get that, Steve. Are you tired?"

"Funny." Steve said. He was tired. He was very tired. "What about you? You went all the way down the stairs, big boy."

"Patronizing." Danny caught on to the tone immediately.

"I can't take you seriously when you're wearing a shirt you probably got in 1993."

"If I had known you were coming I would have put on my best pair of cargo shorts, believe me." Danny rolled his eyes.

"Can't outdo the master." Steve retorted.

Danny knew this conversation wasn't going anywhere. Steve wasn't looking him in the eyes. In fact, Steve could hardly keep his eyes open. The great two hour makeup session Danny had so envisioned (that was how a bitter Stan had once pitched it to him, anyhow) was not going as planned. There was no way Steve would get on his news and beg for forgiveness when all he could manage were a few predictable quips. Danny wasn't tired. Seeing his friend brought him a renewed sense of vigor to really speak about what had been bothering him all these days and what he wanted to get off his chest – still, once Danny actually saw Steve, he changed his mind. He didn't know if he was really ready to have this conversation, or if he just wanted to continue with how things were; Steve with part of Danny's liver and Danny with a silent recovery.

Danny made the decision in his mind before he patted Steve's knee gently. "C'mon, go get some sleep."

"Sleep?" Steve repeated softly. "Nah, Danny, I need to-"

"Shut up, would you?" Danny shook his head. "Let's go. We can talk in the morning. I'll take the couch. You go upstairs in the bed."

"No." Steve shook his head. "No, I-"

"I'm serious, babe." Danny said, softer. He could feel the eyes in the room drifting towards them. "You need to rest. Why are you out of the hospital so soon, huh? Who let you out?"

"I'll let myself out, Danny." Steve said, mustering up the last of his energy to say this with gusto. Danny rolled his eyes and turned his head towards the staircase. Grace and Eric still sat at the bottom of the stairs. Rachel was emerging from the guest room.

"Chin," she called down. "I've made up the bed. Shall I bring Sara up?"

"I can." Chin adjusted the sleeping girl in his arms. His arms were numb from holding Sara for so long. He hadn't realized how long it had been; had not realized how much how tightly he held his niece. He only focused on keeping her safe and away from yakuza or whomever else.

"All right." Rachel nodded. "Eric, would you help Steve up the stairs, please?"

As people began to move, some slower than others, and Stan not at all (although he had been long since forgotten), Grace and Eric stood. Grace busied herself with finding a blanket for her father and not showing him her red face. Chin and Sara walked up the stairs, Chin's face stony. Sara still slept. Rachel moved down the stairs to help Steve. Eric moved as well, taking Steve's arm. Rachel took the other. Soon, Danny was alone in the living room, staring out the window at the cars in the driveway.

"Here, Danno." Grace said, appearing suddenly at his side and handing her father a blanket. "I'll get your pillow."

"Monkey." Danno took his daughter's arm in his strong hand. She wasn't looking at him. "Grace, do you want to talk?"

Grace shook her head, indignantly silent at first. When she finally turned her head, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and looked at her father, Danny's shoulders fell. "Grace," he said again, tugging her into a hug. Danny hugged his daughter decidedly less than he wanted to. She had become a little more reserved to her father's overt affection. His engulfing hugs if he picked her up from school were less welcome. She called him "Danno" less. In the long run, Grace's love was still the same for her father, and always would be, but she was growing up. She was independent now. She tried to be, at least. Perhaps this was why she was so surprised at her outburst this evening.

"I don't want you blaming Uncle Steve for anything, okay?" Danny whispered, pulling away and looking his daughter in the eyes, holding on to her shoulders. "I know things are a mess, but let me fix it, huh? I don't want you in the middle of this."

"Danno-"

"No-"

"No," Grace pushed her way back into the conversation, "I just wanted to say I didn't mean to."

"But you meant it."

"Yes." Grace said. "Because it's not fair."

Danny looked down. "We're working on it." He could tell Grace was uncomfortable and let go of her arms. "Anyway. Let's talk about it tomorrow. Got that? Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Grace repeated, happy to be let go. "Night, Danno."

"Nigh-" but Grace had already scampered away, and Danny was once again left alone. There were two conversations put off until tomorrow.

"No makeup sessions for you, tonight." Stan muttered as he headed up the stairs. Danny ignored this.