I don't know why I thought of this scene but one night I just grabbed my notebook and went at it, finishing over half of it before falling asleep. I do this all of the time.

All. Of The. Time.

Like literally last night, I was falling asleep and I'm like "Think of a scene for Victor...think of a scene...OH HEY!" Then I got up and wrote an entire scene about Herlock Sholes :) because he's totally Victor -_-

Fun fact: I have to write everything in a notebook before typing them up, this is VERY inefficient since I have to then type it all up in google docs which sucks because my handwriting is literally tiny chicken scratch -_- and I had to type, it's tedious, but I also love to type because it's fun.

Disclaimer: I do not by any means own Code Realize: Guardian of Rebirth

"Cardia...Cardia please...why are you looking at me like that?"

This voice...this man...who is e and why does he look so frantic as he speaks with me? Cardia? Is that my name? For some reason I don't think that it is.

The man reaches out to grab my shoulders and I instantly fling myself backwards. A crack is heard as I hit the headboard of the bed and yet I don't mind, all I can remember is that no one is supposed to touch me no matter what.

Why?

I'm not sure, but the pained look on his face makes my heart ache. I've never seen a man cry...I've never seen anyone cry in fact, so when two crystal droplets roll down his perfect face, I'm last.

Crying doesn't suit him, I bet he doesn't cry very often, and yet he cries for a stranger? What an odd man?

"Where am I?" My voice cracks, my mouth is terribly dry. It's probably been awhile since I've spoken, which means that I've probably been sleeping.

"In ou-...your bedroom. Cardia-"

"Why do you call me that?"

The room air is tense, he's already stopped crying but even I can tell that he's still upset. His fists clench tightly against his thighs, I'm afraid he'll hit me for some reason if I say the wrong things.

Perhaps...I should stop asking questions. He'll leave if I do I'm sure. This man scares me...he looks so defeated now but my instincts tells me that I should stay away from him. I should get away and leave…

"You really...truly don't remember?"

"I remember that by under no circumstances can I be touched...but when you call me Cardia I don't feel anything. That name doesn't feel right to me. Are you sure it's right?" He clenches his fists even more, my words have to be hurting deeply. I can't help it though, I don't mean to hurt this man.

"It is, I...I need to make a phone call, please don't try to run off while I'm gone. I'd hate to traumatize you by forcing you to come back. I'll...I'll be back soon." The dejected and defeated man stood shakingly to take his leave. Before he does, he takes one last longing look at me, for a second I think that's he's going to start crying again.

My instincts scream at me to get up and run, to get away from here, but honestly I wouldn't know where to go. Escaping is certainly pointless, he told me he would just bring me back, I assume he knows this place better than I do.

"Cardia...Caaaarrr-deee-aaaaah. My name is Cardia…." The name rolls off of my tongue as I try to familiarize it. It has a ring to it that I really like, perhaps he is telling the truth then? "Cardia...he never told me my last name...maybe he forgot?" I try to relax in my so called 'bed'.

It smells familiar and yet it was huge. There was no way that someone my size needs a bed this large.

Looking around the spacious room I see many things. There's a bright large window with curtains to block out the sun along with a chair, on that chair is a book. A huge wooden wardrobe is on the far side of the room next to a mirror, there are a few pairs of shoes sitting next to it.

A large well crafted wooden chest sits at the end of my bed, part of my wants to open it but I feel like right now it'd be difficult to stand up.

I wonder how long I've been asleep for...my body aches as though it's been awhile since I've stood. This place feels so comfortable, he says that it's my room and yet there are several uniform coats hanging up by my door.

They look exactly like the one that the man was wearing in fact. How strange that he would hang his jacket on my coat rack.

I don't have much time to think about it, because he returns looking just as pale and disheveled as when he had left.

He clears his throat before speaking. "Victor is on his way but it'll be a few hours before he can get here, are you hungry?"

"Very." My stomach growls in agreement.

"I'll make you something to eat then-"

"What's your name?" I feel a little odd since I'm not sure how to address him. Right now he's the 'scary tough looking man' which doesn't have a nice ring to it.

"It's Van...Van Helsing, we met a long time ago. It's been years since we...nevermind. I'll be back with something hot."

I'm happy to hear his name despite how sad he looks. For some reason it feels almost too familiar to me, I feel ashamed for having forgotten it.

Why do I feel this way? Why does my heart feel as though it might burst...are these tears? Why do I cry over a stranger?

There a lot I clearly don't understand.

"This is...awful." My nose scrunches up at the taste of his soup. Although the smell is almost pleasant, the taste is far from that.

"Then don't eat it-I mean...you always say that when I cook for you, no matter how hard I try." He seems slightly bothered by this but part of him has come to terms with it I can tell. "You cooked most of the time."

I can see why. "Where you here a lot?"

"Yes...we um...we live together."

"Is that so?" My brain hurts, I feel like I have a slight headache as I try to imagine us living with one another. "I can see why i would have to do all of the cooking-"

"You little brat!" He reaches out to grab the collar of my dress but stops himself, there's something about the way he does it that tells me that he's done it a thousand times before. It's natural for him. "I'm sorry."

Why do I feel disappointed? I should be happy he didn't grab me...and yet a part of me feels rearing to go. I want to him for trying such a thing…

"I like the bread." I munch on it happily, trying to change the subject.

"You made that about five days ago…"

"No wonder it's good."

His half smile warms me, at least he wasn't frowning or looking absolutely rejected. I decide that I like his smile. How odd, I'm so relaxed now and yet I was so afraid of him before...I don't get it.

"Have I...been asleep for five days?" I dip my bread in my soup (?) which makes it taste significantly better. As he watches me eat I find that I'm actually starving. If I've been asleep for five days then I've had minimal to eat. It's no question that I'm hungry.

"You have...hey slow down, you're going to choke if you eat too fast." He quickly takes the bowl from my hands. I don't even have time to flinch, his movements are terrifyingly fast. "Now chew...you're almost like a child now, before you were so independant."

"Was I?" I swallow my mouth full. My stomach aches from the amount of food I've shoved down my throat in such a small time, Van is right, I should slow down.

"Yes, it was infuriating. I wanted to help you and yet you'd always insist on doing it yourself no matter what it is. You could be reaching for something on the very top shelf or trying to carry too much and yet you'd never ask me for help. I would always yell at you for hurting yourself because it could have been avoided if you had only asked me in the beginning…"

"Van…" I frown. "Are you my brother?"

"Am I your...no. I'm far from being your brother in fact."

There's his pained expression again, how many times am I going to make him feel like this? He looks so sad and yet he also seems very angry.

"Cardia I'm your-"

There's a knock on my bedroom door that alerts us. Van glares in annoyance before setting aside my nearly finished soup. "You have the worst timing Victor."

"Sorry, sorry. No one was answering the front door even though I knocked. Good afternoon Cardia, do you recognize me?" A man in a white lab coat slowly walks in. He has a kind face, a warm aura that makes me feel safe just being here.

I shake my head, sadly like with Van, I don't recognize this man.

"Victor is my name. I'm your doctor...and your friend. We've known each other for many years, what do you remember?"

"That I can't touch anyone."

"That was true but now you can. I worked for years with you, you see Cardia, for some reason your body was producing a massive amount of poison. The poison didn't affect you or anyone around you unless you touched them. You poison was so effective that with one touch you could melt all sorts of things."

"A-A-And….you cured me of that?" Why am I so frightened?

"I did, but as you can see...there was an unfortunate and unexpected side effect. You lost your memory...all of it, it seems. Cardia, words cannot express how sorry I am for this, if only I had done more tests-"

"You...you're being ridiculous. You cured something that made living probably very difficult for me right? Memories can be returned...or at least I think they can. Please don't blame yourself, if anything it sounds like I should be thanking you." There's nothing that I understand about Victor and yet I feel the need to comfort him. Is it because he said that we're friends? I had poison in my body...how was I even able to live before?

"I will do everything in my power to help you get your memories back, I promise." Victor heaves a heavy and sad sigh. It's obvious that he's too hard on himself. "Can I talk to you in private Van?"

"Sure, I'll get Cardia some more soup while we talk. We'll be back."

They leave me once again to sit with my thoughts. There's a million and one things racing through my head and yet there's no answers among them.

Over the next few weeks I get a few visitors. Apparently they're people from my past, people that I use to call my dear friends.

The first to come was an engineer by the name of Impey. He literally pulled me into a spinning bone crushing hug without even introducing himself. When I screamed, I immediately heard someone running up the steps

The door had flung open and Van immediately snarled at the rude man threatening to shoot him if he didn't unhand me.

The two of them were tense and I kept my distance from him, even going so far as to hide behind Van who I was almost certain, was going to shoot Impey.

After a brief introduction, Impey was more than happy to make us some of his famous cooking. I still can't remember how to cook (although I try) so we've been eating Van Helsing's infamous cooking.

Impey's was incredible.

Saint-Germain was the next to visit. He sat down with me and shook my hand to confirm that my poison is in fact gone. We talked about my love for knowledge, he was very easy to talk to and yet I found myself uneasy around him.

"No one knows much about him." Van Helsing admits when I had asked him about it later that day.

A man came through my window one day while I was reading. He didn't say anything, just crouched and smirked at me expecting a surprised expression.

He was going to get a surprise alright, if Van heard me scream then this man would be shot.

As if sensing that, the man had put a finger to his lips. "It's been awhile Cardia. You're just as pretty as I remembered."

"If you come any closer I'll yell for Van."

"There's no need for that, I'm sure he's already on his way up here-"

"You bet your ass I am. You could use the front door you know." Van opened my door shortly afterwards. Just like with Impey, he wasn't exactly thrilled to see this man.

"It's more fun this way. Victor told me about what happened Cardia...feast your eyes upon me for you are in the presence of the great and handsome thief, Arsene Lupin! Are you amazed? I can't say I blame you-"

"Get out of my window!"

Lupin, after a rough five minutes of squabbling with Van, sat down with us and told me all about how he had stolen me away from the guards who had come to take me away. It all seemed quite unbelievable, to think that I lived alone in a quiet and dark mansion, alone with my poison.

"You quickly blossomed though, from someone who was scared to speak her mind, to someone who could glare at Van Helsing without ever breaking eye contact. All of us together went on so many adventures, we all did so many things and accomplished so much, and then when the time came we all went our separate ways…"

Except Van Helsing and I, we stayed with each other. Why? I want to ask him...I've been wanting to ask him for awhile but I feel like it's not something I want to just bring up. I'd hate to make him sad again. The thought of him upset again makes my heart ache for him. "Thank you Lupin, I hope you'll tell me all about our adventures together."

"In time I will, there's no need to rush anything."

Although he says this, I want to argue. These past few weeks made me want to remember everything terribly. I have such good friends and yet no memories of them. Who was I before my poison? Why am I living with Van Helsing? I want to know everything so that people can stop looking at me so sadly.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry," As I hold a broken man I too find that tears start to roll down my face. Tears of frustration, tears of not being able to comfort him because I don't know how. I don't know what he needs. "Please just give...give me a moment. I won't stay long."

"You can stay here as long as you need." I'm afraid to touch him, afraid that I might somehow make this worse by trying to comfort him. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize, this isn't your fault. When it comes to dealing with you, I'm not as strong as everyone seems to think that I am. I thought that I could handle this...that for your sake I wouldn't do this but it's too much, I miss you so much. You're here with me but I can't say the things that I want to say, I can't touch you at all...I feel as though I can't do anything for you. I'm supposed to protect you but here I am."

When Van had suddenly burst into my room, I had been surprised but not scared. He looked so afraid and so frantic, when i asked him about it he pulled me into his arms and started to almost silently cry. It's the middle of the night, he probably had a nightmare.

"It's okay, please speak your mind. I may not be the Cardia that you remember but I'm still Cardia." I touch his ears, slowly rubbing them and making my way towards the back of his head. He becomes quiet as I do these things, probably listening to the sound of my heart beat. "Your hair is so soft...I thought it might be rough because of how spiky it is. You take good care of yourself."

"I didn't use to, why would I? I'm a soldier, when I'm on the battlefield I'm lucky if I have any luxuries at all. When I met you all i started to take better care of myself, I still fought but there were utilities like running water and heat."

"Why are you so upset?" I press my right cheek up against his left, it warm and wet.

"I'm not a gentle or charming person Cardia, in fact I'm probably rather unlikable. I'm rough, I enjoy fighting, and I rarely consider other people's feelings. I'd rather be alone, but you wouldn't allow it. You forced your company upon me, you'd follow me everywhere and ignore my threats and insults. I almost broke your arm once and I've even shot at you a few times but you never gave up. If anything it made your resolve stronger. I can't possibly see what you saw in a man like me...but I'm so afraid that you don't see it now."

"You must care a lot about me…" I grab two fistfuls of his pretty blond hair because I'm so naive and stupid. I should have realized a long time ago that this is the case, why else would a man unrelated to me live with me and do so much for me? Why else would I get those feelings that keep coming out of nowhere? "It's not all gone...sometimes when you smile, my heart races and when you're upset it aches. I find myself looking for you when you're not in the same room as me. I look for ways to get your praise and even practice little things like cooking."

"We are married you know? Despite the fact that I couldn't kiss you...or touch you, I still insisted that we got married. You were surprised...shocked even that I could pull something so romantic, you even jokingly placed a gloved hand on my forehead."

"I bet you were thrilled."

"I threatened to throw you in the river…" I can't help but laugh, it;s an odd thing to laugh at but it feels right. "You told me to bring it on and we both ended up in the river, soaked and freezing, regretting our actions."

"Oh...oh...you...you carried me home of your back?" It's the first thing that comes to my mind in that moment. An image of him lifting the both of us out of the cold river, an image of us laughing together only moments before he had done so.

"I did." He pulls back to get a good look at me. We're both a mess, our faces tear stained, and our eyes tired. Despite all of this we're both smiling, a bit relieved that I have finally remembered something. The memory is small, but it's a start for me...a start for us. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize! You're always so strong...but now is not the time to be acting this way, you'll be miserable."

"You're right." There are no right words, there are only our words. Up until now it's just been him supporting me and looking out for my feelings, but that stops now. From now on we'll look out for each other, even if it takes years for me to remember everything.

Ever since that night, Van has taken down every secure little wall he had put up for my sake, We agreed that he should just go about his days like he always had done, before my memories had disappeared.

I had no idea that he's so open about things with me. He compliments me when I deserve it, grabs me whenever I try to get away, and knocks me on the head if I'm stressing over stupid things. When we 'argue' it's like a great battle of wits and strategic glaring. If I cross my arms he'll raise an amused eyebrow or take a daring step forward to challenge me.

Our arguments usually end up with us on the floor in a flurry of limbs and squabbling. He's so much stronger than me that it only fuels my desire to overcome him.

As if he'd let me.

He's like a lion trying to get me to submit to him. Whenever we end up on the floor he pins me until I stop my useless struggles, our difference in strength is infuriating. Afterwards he teases me, usually growling 'Are you quite finished?' into one of my ears. He know that there's no way I could possibly get away from him, and yet he enjoys my futile struggles.

When we're not wrestling we do our usual things. I'll read or sometimes we attempt to cook together. I allow him to chop up ingredients for me, but it's a learning process for the both of us. I enjoy doing everyday things with him, just having him in the same room as me helps me to collect myself.

Before I lost myself, Van Helsing and I would practice hand-to-hand combat a lot. According to him we'd go at it for hours or until I collapsed on some days. It's a stress reliever, plus if he has to leave for awhile he knows that I can take care of myself. The combat isn't easy and Van Helsing's training is brutal, on some days it feels like he's toying with me. During our sessions I am normally left in awe, no one could possibly go up against him and come out unscathed.

The memories come back to me one by one. Usually if I regain one, it has something to do with whatever I'm doing at the moment. I remember simple things like cleaning our house or making our bed. My poison didn't affect much of my everyday life, just my ability to touch things and the people that I love.

Touching, something that I couldn't possibly have a memory of. It makes me upset to think that I was unable to feel someone else's warmth It's such a normal thing to do, to touch someone. This is also new to Van, I can tell because every time he goes to mess up my hair he hesitates. It's not normal to him at all, he's a man who married me knowing very well that we might never kiss each other or feel each others un-gloved touch.

"You're warm…" I remark one day when he's leaning over my shoulder to stick his nose into what I'm doing. I can feel his glasses barely touching my left ear. I'm making a walnut cake, following a recipe that Impey had dropped off for me. Purposefully, I press my cheek up against his own. I enjoy the feeling I get from this, it feeds the butterflies in my stomach.

"What do you expect? Humans are warm, although your touch is rather comforting." Strong arms encircle my waist, he usually isn't this bold, but perhaps because I made the first move? "Would you like any help today?" His breath tickles my neck.

"N-N-No...I've...I've umm got it."

"Pity." He lets me go, slowly to draw on the moment. His fingertips pulls me slightly but not enough to move me, it's almost like an invitation. I'm positive that he can hear my heart, his hearing is too good for him to not. Van leaves me to continue my baking but I'm not sure if I can, my hands have stopped working, instead they're shaking uselessly, my knees are so weak that I allow myself to slide down onto the floor.

Get a hold of yourself! He barely touched you! For a body that use to reject being touched, it's rather weak now that it's allowing such advances. It can't even handle simple shows of affection like that, they feel too real. "I don't think I can handle much more of this…"

"I thought you were stronger than that."

"Van." I had been so caught up in my feelings that I hadn't noticed that he truly didn't leave. Instead he's leaning against the wall by the door, looking all too pleased.

"If I had known that you'd act like this, then I would have done this a long time ago...what's wrong Cardia?"

I absolutely cannot and do not want to tell him, he's already too pleased with himself. He's only teasing me...he wants me to act all flustered, I don't think that I can help it though even if I try. "This feels strange...you said that we're married so you'd think that I'd be use to this feeling, but I'm not. My body can't handle it."

"Oh?" His voice, he'd definitely toying with me. "It only makes sense that your body isn't use to it, but don't worry, together we can help it. All it needs is a little training-"

"Absolutely not!"

I fling myself into action, throwing myself at him to punish him for his words, I don't know why I thought I could possibly overcome him but needless to say 'Let the squabbling begin'.

My memories haven' fully returned but it doesn't matter. I cherish each and every one that I do get back, but regardless I'm making new memories day by day. Together with Van, we're taking back our lives, or rather we're building a new life together.

Even if it get's hard, or frustrating, I'll never lose hope because he'll never allow me to lose hope.

I have two scenes already wrote up and ready to be typed, the problem is that I can never find time to type Dx especially the longer scenes like this one. I appreciate you all telling me which characters you'd like to see more of, I'll try my best :)

Thanks for all of the lovely reviews! I look forward to each and every one of them.

See you whenever I have time~ I hope that you all enjoyed the latest chapter!