It had all started out innocently enough, Blair had just thought to make polite conversation at the rather staid luncheon. Isabel Coates was from the same village that Serena had grown up in, and was perhaps, the shyest and mousiest girl Blair had ever met. It was as though she wanted to blend into the walls, and her success was alarming. If it was possible, Isabel had made an impression on no one and her first season was turning out to be a disaster. Had Serena not run into the teary-eyed Miss Coates hiding in an alcove at the Samuelson Ball last week, it was more than likely that there would be even fewer people at this luncheon.
The men had all gravitated towards one another, and Chuck had not released Blair's hand that had been resting on his arm the entire afternoon. At first she had found it rather humorous, but she could not quite determine what the cause of his behavior was. But as the minutes ticked by, she began to find it rather irksome, as the harder she attempted to abstract her hand, the firmer the pressure he placed. Blair glanced around the room, and watched as Serena charmed their fellow debutantes, and did her best to draw flattering attention towards Isabel. There was almost a sense of longing that crossed over her, and she really wished Chuck would release his grasp on her so she was free to join the other ladies. If she heard one more veiled comment about seeing the horses at Newmarket, she was going to yank her hand from his, scene or not. She cleared her throat and the half-dozen or so men all turned to her eagerly, as though anticipating her departure from them. As her eyes met Chuck's, she read the warning that he did not wish her to move.
With a sigh, she offered, "Have any of you gentlemen had the opportunity to enjoy Kean's King Lear?"
She felt the subtle grumble of disappointment, and was really beginning to wonder why Chuck was subjecting her to this. But a few of the men, half-heartedly answered in the affirmative. She breathed out in relief as the group picked up her hint, and continued carrying on the merits of Kean's interpretation of the bard's work. More than once she bit her tongue, as they threw out inaccuracies of the storyline and characters. Blair felt indignation brewing, and was trying to maintain her facade of indifference when Lord Fowles said the most ludicrous of things.
"It is the true definition of a tragedy, as poor Lear is felled by the betrayal of his three daughters. Conniving, the lot of them!" Lord Fowles pontificated.
Blair interrupted, "But ultimately, it's Lear's vanity that is his own downfall. The play opens with him asking his daughters to best each other by exclaiming their love for him. It's clear that it is the appearance of devotion, not the action itself, that Lear was basing the division of his country on."
"Now, now, Miss Waldorf, that is a very childlike manner in which to argue your point," Lord Fowles said condescendingly. "Lear wasn't a spoilt child, which is what you insinuate."
"Perhaps, Miss Waldorf is just not familiar with the play, it takes years to develop a true understanding," Baron Cassiday patronized. "Just because you watched Kean's performance, doesn't mean you've read it."
"Let it be so; thy truth, then by thy dower;
For, by the sacred radiance of the sun,
The mysteries of Hectate, and the night;
By all the operation of the orbs
From whom we do exist, and cease to be;
Here I disclaim all my paternal care,
Propinquity and property of blood,
And as a stranger to my heart and me
Hold thee, from this, for ever.
The barbarous Scythian,
Or he that makes his generation messes
To gorge his appetite, shall to my bosom
Be as well neighbour'd, pitied and relieved,
As thou my sometime daughter."
Blair quoted, with the blandest of smiles. "Shall I continue?"
The sputtering that came from the men caused her to bite back a smile. While she yearned to continue quoting the First Act in its entirety, she hoped her point had been illustrated, that she was just as educated as they were, formal schooling or not.
"Bass, surely you cannot support this insolence? To have this girl lecture us?" Baron Cassiday complained.
Lord Fowles clucked in agreement and shook his head. "When will women learn their place in society?"
"Come not between the dragon and his wrath
I loved her most, and thought to set my rest
On her kind nursery. Hence, and avoid my sight!
So be my grave my peace, as here I give
Her father's heart from her!"
Chuck quoted softly. His eyes turned to steel as he coolly addressed the party, "Miss Waldorf's argument has more than merit. I do believe, gentlemen, you owe her an apology."
The awkward pause stretched, as no man offered any atonement for their behavior. With a polite nod of head, Chuck said, "Excuse us, gentlemen, Miss Waldorf and I must attend to Miss van der Woodsen."
"Chuck," Blair whispered once they were a safe distance away. "I didn't mean to speak out of turn, but when they—"
"Stop!" he commanded firmly.
Her eyes were glued towards the ground, she hoped he wasn't too upset with her. She hadn't meant to behave in such an outspoken, unladylike manner, but it had been infuriating to be lectured by men who were obviously less intelligent than she. She shifted uncomfortably while she waited for Chuck to speak.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Blair. They're ignorant. And it is I who should apologize, I didn't want to be left alone with them, and now you've had to deal with their unpleasantness," Chuck said earnestly.
A smile crossed her face as she gazed into his eyes. "So you kept me by your side so you didn't have to converse with them?"
"Three of those men hound me incessantly, always wanting to discuss horses and gambling. I have no interest in speaking with them about such things, but they persist, nonetheless," he revealed.
"But you defended me," Blair said softly. "Said my argument had merit."
"Why wouldn't I?" Chuck asked. "You are one of the most intelligent people I have ever met."
The happiness from his words radiated off of her face. "I may have to reward you for that comment."
As they resumed their walk towards Serena, Chuck lifted Blair's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss. "Your company is reward enough."
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Blair gazed over at Serena and Georgina with a frown on her face. For the past hour, she had carefully bided her time and waited for the pair to stop their incessant whispering and giggling. She was still mad at Serena. It had been almost a month since she had run into Viscount Hadley near dawn, and Serena had avoided her and her inquiries steadily since. The few times Blair had managed to get her alone, her blonde-haired friend would evade her questions and change topics with a level of stealth she never expected. It was unfortunate that Serena thought she was going to be judgmental and chastise her, when all really she wanted was to obtain information.
Regardless of how many books she had read, there were still many aspects of sex Blair had questions about. Even in the most graphic of texts, there seemed to be some pertinent link missing that she couldn't quite grasp. Coupled with the snippets she had overheard over the years, she was confounded. Blair struggled to reconcile the extremes—the aspect of pain and duty versus the temptations of the flesh. If the pleasure she received from Chuck's kisses and caresses were any indicator of what was to come, she couldn't imagine any type of pain that wouldn't be worth it. Even now, she flushed just imagining where his hands and mouth had been, how she wished to provoke the same loss of control from him.
Last week, Chuck had begrudgingly intimated that she did indeed cause similar reactions from him. But in an unexpected move on his part, he started limiting their physical exploration almost immediately after he confessed his partiality towards her. He had just begun to unlace her dress, when she all but offered herself to him, causing him to abruptly pull away. Blair had nearly stamped her foot in frustration and just managed to stop herself from begging him to continue teaching her everything he knew. Despite this reaction, he had not stopped dancing attendance on her or been any less attentive. How was she supposed to find out if she had done anything wrong?
Even thinking about him on a physical level caused her fingers to twitch, absolutely fraught with need to run her fingers over his chest, to tangle her fingers in his thick lock of curls and press kisses on every available surface of his skin. Her fascination with his flesh was embarrassing. Blair could not understand why she constantly needed that skin to skin contact. She felt herself flush, her imagination and tactile senses igniting her need. If she didn't start focusing on her agenda, she was going to end up in the corner, mooning over the idea at the mere thought of touching him. And she would still have no answers.
Blair once again looked over at Serena and Georgina. With renewed conviction, she marched up to her two closest friends and wedged herself between them. Flashing a pointed smile and using an overly saccharine voice she turned to Serena. "I believe your mother has been asking for you, you should go find her."
She tried to shoo her away, gesticulating towards the large room.
Georgina smothered a laugh and wisely chose to say nothing.
Serena stared back at her with a look of confusion. "I don't see my mother anywhere."
"Then go look for her," she suggested snidely. "Besides, Georgie and I have things to discuss."
"Like what?" Serena asked.
"We do?" Georgina echoed.
"Yes," Blair hissed. "Now run along S, you aren't the only person who can answer my questions."
"Questions?" The two women chorused as they exchanged curious glances.
"What could you possibly need to ask G or I?" Serena asked in fascination.
"Please leave, Serena, I need a moment alone with my friend," Blair insisted.
Georgie looked at the two friends in amusement. With a gentle smile, she offered a compromise. "Why don't you just whisper the nature of your question into my ear, and we'll see if it commands a private audience?"
Blair shot a hateful look at Serena before leaning over and whispering into Georgie's ear, "I need you to tell me everything you know about sex."
Georgie's eyes grew to the size of large saucers, causing Blair to blush furiously. Had she miscalculated in thinking that her surrogate sister would be willing to tell her the truth? Before Blair could apologize or even rescind her question, a catlike grin spread across Lady Sparks face.
"My, my, my, is our little Blair being tempted to travel down the path of forbidden pleasures?" Georgie teased, sotto voce.
"No!" Serena gasped loudly.
Several people turned to look at the trio, and if possible, Blair turned an even deeper shade of red. While she buried her face in her hands, both Georgina and Serena burst into unbridled laughter.
Tears of frustration welled in Blair's eyes and she blinked them away as quickly as possible. She had never felt so silly or stupid in her entire life. This was the one time where knowledge was no substitute for experience, and yet the only two women she dared to voice her thoughts to, were poking fun at her. It appeared that she had vastly miscalculated, and short of asking him directly, she would never know what she had done to halt Chuck's advances.
"B," Serena whispered softly, once the laughter had subsided. The humor slowly transformed into worry.
Concern filled Georgie's face, as well. "Blair, don't get upset."
Her chin trembled. "You're making fun of me! You two are the only ones I thought I could ask these questions to, without your judging me. But instead of helping me you're laughing at me."
"You're serious," Serena said in wonder. "Is this what you've been trying to ask me this whole time? About Viscount Hadley?"
Blair nodded. She was afraid if she spoke, the tears would flood and she would make a spectacle of herself.
"Has the Marquess been pressuring you?" Georgina asked. Suddenly, steel laced her voice as she continued to question her. "Has he hurt you or touched you somewhere he shouldn't? Does he persist in his advances when you tell him to stop?"
Georgina's normally warm eyes had turned an icy blue and Blair could feel her rage bubbling beneath the surface. Quickly she reassured her friend by shaking her head in defense. "No! That's not it at all. I promise you, he would never hurt me."
The two older girls stared at her in confusion. With a quick breath of frustration, she said, "I'm making such a mess of this. How shall I put it?"
Blair paused to take a quick glance around the room to confirm that no one was paying their trio any mind. "It's quite the opposite, actually—he's just stopped."
"Stopped?" Georgie repeated.
"Stopped the progression," Blair said uncomfortably. "Now we're in regression. Before, we used to sneak off, there were stolen kisses, touches…but now, he barely kisses me anymore and refuses to find hidden spots for further exploration."
"B, the Marquess absolutely dotes on you! Surely you're not questioning his interest?" Serena demanded.
She shrugged, not wanting to confirm that those were in fact, her very fears.
"I hate to be vulgar, Blair, but you must have felt it, haven't you?" Georgie asked in a hushed tone.
Biting her lip as she faced downwards, her cheeks again flushed red, Blair nodded.
Serena pressed on. "During your encounters?"
Once again, her head shook in the affirmative. She answered truthfully, "I cannot recall a time recently when I haven't felt it."
When she heard the duo of sighs of relief, she looked up to find matching smiles worn on both Serena and Georgina's faces.
"If it's any consolation, I had to practically attack Nate myself, before he gave in," Serena admitted. "But just the other day, Nate told me how fascinated he was by Chuck's behavior towards you. You have to be aware that the Marquess is not known for curbing his impulses, he's a veritable libertine. Combine that with the fact that he never dallies with debutantes—if he's not advancing your physical relationship, it's a sure sign that he's serious about you."
"I think you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I think it's so romantic, how utterly gentlemanly Chuck Bass is behaving. I do think he intends to wed you!" Georgina said happily. A sly smile suddenly appeared on her face as she clucked, "Poor Chuck! My dear, do you have any idea what you're putting him through?"
Blair shook her head.
"I think it's safe to say that you've kept him in a suspended state of arousal for the past month, if not longer," Serena explained. "Come to think of it, no one has mentioned any women gracing the Marquess' bed. Poor Chuck, indeed!"
"Who would have thought that he could be so sweet?" Georgie wondered aloud.
"But why is it sweet of him? And how bad is it if I've unknowingly put him in that state?" Blair interrupted. Although she felt the beginnings of relief take over, it wasn't enough. "What does that even mean? I want to know everything!"
"You are enjoying these interludes, aren't you?" Georgie asked.
"It's heavenly, like nothing I've ever felt before," Blair confessed. "Despite the fact that I feel like a complete wanton, I cannot help but wish it would never end!"
The two older girls exchanged satisfied looks.
"Well, I'll just have to invite you to tea along with Miss van der Woodsen, later this week. In the privacy of my salon, we will answer any and every question we can. And perhaps, we can offer some techniques that may aide in your quest for knowledge," Georgina said with a sly wink.
"I, for one, would be delighted to be able to tutor you in a subject, for a change," Serena concurred warmly.
"You two aren't funning me, are you?" Blair asked nervously.
"Absolutely not," Georgie said firmly.
"I wish to be for you, what I wished I had for me," Serena promised.
With a smile of relief, Blair hugged them gratefully. She was convinced that whatever she learned would be illuminating, and perhaps the most informative lessons she received to date.
.
.
.
One afternoon Chuck had called on her at the van der Woodsen townhouse. They had been sitting amicably on the settee, reading in companionable silence. Blair was so immersed in the latest volume of poetry Chuck had gifted her with, that she hadn't noticed how his hand would play with the ends of her hair, or that he had long given up the pretense of reading and openly stared at her. Without warning Chuck stood up, his book falling to the ground.
The loud thud startled her.
"It's unnatural!" Chuck exclaimed as he paced back and forth across the sitting room.
"What is?" Blair asked as she looked up at him in slight confusion.
"This!" He gesticulated at the empty space separating the two of them.
Blair paused for a moment. With her expression blank—guarded almost, she carefully asked, "I'm not sure I'm following…?"
"This need I'm constantly flooded by," he grated out. "To want to be with you, every hour of every day."
"That's not unnatural," Blair said softly, unable to stop her smile from widening. She waited a beat before she teased him, "Do you like me?"
"Define like," he bit out with resignation.
"Chuck Bass is a romantic, who knew?" She continued playfully.
The tension left him and a lazy smile crossed his face as he looked over at her. Retaking his position next to her on the couch, he reached out and wrapped a single curl around his finger, using it to draw her closer. He whispered in her ear, "Now you do, that's all that matters."
Slowly, he rained the lightest of kisses all across her face in quiet relief that she had neither mocked him nor used his words as a weapon to be wielded later. Her eyes beckoned him closer, but it was her lips and mouth that held him completely captive.
She shifted so that she was almost spread across him, and Chuck could not resist trailing kisses down her throat as his tongue laved the flesh of her modest neckline. Blair's soft moans of pleasure were music to his ears and all he wanted to do was make her sing. His hands began to untie the laces of her dress so he could bare her breasts.
"More," she whispered as he lifted his mouth from her skin. "There's more, and you're not showing me. I want you to teach me everything. I'm yours."
The thrill of hearing those words 'I'm yours,' fall from her lips, stilled all movement. Blair had said those words in the moment, but looking up and seeing the desire in her eyes—he knew she meant both syllables. Despite his utmost desire to pin her against the wall and make her his in every sense of the word—he found himself pulling away. Chuck wanted to savor each moment—wanted all the time in the world when he at last entered her. And, he wanted to make it special for her.
He pressed a light, but lingering kiss on her lips before drawing back and tightening the laces that he had just untied. Chuck ignored the guilt he felt when he saw the flash of hurt in Blair's eyes, but he was only a man. If he were to cave to her demands now—there was no way her virtue would be kept in tact.
With a wry smile, he gently said in explanation, "We've been left alone for over an hour. Perhaps now would not be the most ideal time to start a lesson."
Blair's adorable little pout had him wavering for a moment, before he reminded himself just how much she mattered. She couldn't begin to understand how important she was to him.
"We'll have to reschedule," Blair said unhappily. But then she fluttered her eyes and peered at him through her thick, dark lashes. "Well…only if you want to."
"Nothing could stop me," he confessed.
A siren-like smile appeared on her face and she shifted in his lap again, causing him to stifle a groan from the way her hip brushed against him. Blair wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. They were both breathless when she pulled away.
"I'm going to hold you to that," she murmured throatily, as her lips still hovered above his.
Before he could answer, the front doorbell sounded and Blair hopped off of his lap. By the time the sitting room doors were opened, they were at opposite ends of the room.
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"Am I allowed to ask you a string of rather strange questions?"
"Strange, how?"
"Strange, as in personal in nature, as it pertains to your betrothed," Chuck clarified.
A look of wariness crossed Nate's face.
"No specific details, per se…"
"Just ask it, and I will deem if it is too inappropriate," Nate said brusquely.
With a sigh, Chuck stared straight ahead. He really didn't want to ask Nate for advice, but he recognized there was nowhere else to turn to. "Who initiated the more intimate nature of your relationship?"
Nate reddened but said nothing.
"Was it you who forced the issue? Or did Miss van der Woodsen?"
"That's none of your business!" Nate barked.
"Because I'm having a devil of a time resisting Blair," Chuck said blankly, ignoring his friend's response. "In fact, if she had it her way, I would have bedded her by now."
Nate shot him a look of sympathy.
"So it was Miss van der Woodsen, then?" He pressed, desperate for confirmation that he was not the only one in this predicament. "She's the reason you're sneaking out of their townhouse in the wee hours of the morning? I think Blair would like nothing more than for me to do the same."
"Seriously?"
Chuck nodded.
"It was all Serena," Nate admitted. "She was the one who stole a kiss from me the first time, before she left for Paris. She said she wanted to have something to remember me by. And you know she wasn't a complete innocent—not like your Miss Waldorf. She knew exactly what to do, how to draw me deeper into the kiss, and she pulled away, right when I wanted more."
"So she's a skilled seductress," he observed. Raising his glass in the Viscount's direction, he smiled. "Congratulations."
"I've never told anyone this, but I never knew a kiss could be so intimate," Nate confessed. "Kissing her was almost more exciting than the act of sex itself. That's why I refused to accompany you on your travels, truthfully. No matter what other woman graced my bed, it was Serena I pictured and her I wanted beneath me. It took me less than a month to head over to Paris. I thought I would steal another kiss, tell myself that I had imagined it all. But she was ready for me, and before I knew it, she had captured my heart. It took her two weeks to wear me down, and well…the rest is history."
"I've managed to go this long without giving in, even reining in the need to show her other ways I can provide her pleasure without…" Chuck trailed off.
"And you're turning her down?" Nate asked in confusion. "Isn't that what you're after—to bind her to you, so you won't have to win her hand? It's pretty obvious to everyone who looks at you two, that she's completely taken with you. Although, don't think that you look any less smitten."
Chuck ignored the truth of his friend's words. He knew how precarious the situation was, without including how curious Blair was about sex. He hadn't even begun to encompass all the social cues he was throwing out to the ton—he knew they were waiting to see when he'd tire of her, before resuming life as the passionate corpse. There was a sense of relief that he had an understanding with Eleanor. Even though he knew with absolute certainty that he would never tire of being around Blair, he wasn't ready to come face to face with what the ramifications of that decision meant.
He hesitated, staring at the glass of scotch in his hands that he had yet to take a sip of. There was just a hint of embarrassment at the question he was about to ask Nate. All of this behavior was so unlike him—this uncertainty stemmed from the emotions Blair managed to provoke. "Do you have any suggestions on how I might discourage her?"
Nate snorted before his shoulders shook with laughter. Chuck scowled as his friend was near howling in amusement. "Archibald, this is not even close to being funny."
"You trying to fend off the attentions of Miss Waldorf, someone you're obsessed with—you're right, not funny. It's hysterical!"
A knock on the door, had both gentlemen turning their head. Arthur opened the door, with a letter resting on a silver tray.
Chuck took the parchment and nodded, his butler quietly left the room. His brows furrowed in concentration as he carefully read the note, feeling Nate's curious eyes on him. A flicker of excitement rushed into Chuck's veins, it appeared the business venture he was considering might pan out, after all. This would be just the thing he could use to put a bit of distance between him and Blair.
"Who is it from?"
"An investment opportunity I don't think I can resist," Chuck explained. "It is exactly the kind of innovative thinking that my empire can be built on. It's the perfect thing, I've been waiting for this."
"Your empire, huh?" Nate teased.
Chuck flashed a knowing smile. It was the unspoken words that mattered the most, though, it was at the root of everything that defined him. This was perfect because was he to succeed, he'd be able to escape from his father's shadow. He could thumb his nose at propriety and all the titles that were supposed to be bestowed upon him. It would let him be his own man first—heir to the Rowley Dukedom, second.
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tbc
SORRY! I know I've totally been MIA, but there was a whole other story that was tormenting me that I needed to get out first. And if you didn't know, I did write a rather obnoxiously long historical oneshot, You Amaze Me. I hope this chapter wasn't too lackluster as a comeback. I'm going to try to get back to updating regularly, but it will most likely be a couple of weeks in between updates. This is my baby, and I get a more than a little bit obsessive to get everything just right—much moreso than I do with my other fics.
For all my readers, thank you in advance for continuing to read and follow, you guys are awesome!
A huge thank you to Uncorazonquebrado for beta-ing this chapter, I don't even have words for how much I appreciated it.
This chapter is dedicated to Ilu (as I promised to post this chapter in honor of your return—which has now been well over a week, see how I post things especially just for you?) and Ollie (because sometimes updating a fic is more about you than it is about me) who have been harassing me non-stop to post this chapter.