Chapter 10: Run, Devil, RUN

We're born to win
Better tell all your friends
'Cause we get it in
You know the girls

-SNSD, The Boys-

Revenge. Bitterness. Coldness. Hatred. Those words tasted so sweet on her tongue weeks ago when she had met him. But now, what were her words? She had gone a long way. Karate kiddo, bent on ruining herself. She had never forgiven herself for letting him down. She had never forgiven herself for letting him love her and not see her as a woman. Unconsciously, she had become someone cold and bad.

Bad for her bad grades.

Bad and her bad temper.

Bad – with all these rumors.

What had they been? "She's asexual." "She's a lesbo." "She hates meeting people." "She's a stuck-up bitch." "She's a bitch."

She remembered her first day, and she had changed.

She had grown her hair and was very determined to find him. She tried everything her first year to find him, even going so far to risk her neck to talk to the beefy gangster upperclassmen. They had had a leader and said they didn't have time to waste on a cute girl like her. Because she was so stubborn that she snubbed everyone just to find him, it backfired. When she was introduced formally to her class, she didn't talk much. She talked only to the teacher, and the others had thought she was a sucky girl who warmed to the teacher only to get good grades. She was always reading, and "busy." Wasted her time alone on books, reading, consultation periods and karate and basketball.

She never found him.

She knew he liked her back.

The girl he likes, she thought bitterly as she fixed her books on her locker, is dead. The lockers were located outside the classrooms, in the long marble hallways. He doesn't know, wherever he is, the girl who wrote him a letter begging him to see her as a grown woman is dead. She killed herself for him. And what did he do to repay her? He threw everything she gave him away. He wasted all her hours cooking him food, he squandered all the study hours she made him do and traded it for the life of a wastrel. He took her down, taking everything that made her her out of her system.

She used to be good.

But she's so bad now.

She used to think what made him so gray was so beautiful. His obstinacy. His rugged determination. The smiles. The friendly grins. Why did she fall for him? He used her. He disrespected her wishes. She remembers wishing him dead.

She recalled turning into gray then black. What had she looked those days? From cute little Aoi, with the short hair and the neat sporty clothes, she had changed. She wore dark blue, navy, purple, dark colors, and ate little, her hair long and down her chest. She wore it loose, waving dramatically, back then. Her sullen and cold smiles, forced on her face muscles.

And she got picked on because of her suddenly antisocial attitude.

She remembered her blood-colored nail polish which she eventually picked off her fingernails. She remembered her bitter voice, the meanness to Hasegawa and he who always apologized to her. She remembered the feel of leather on her skin, trying out a leather coat. She recalled wishing him ill, and even vandalized a locker of a second year, writing out cuss words in it and drawing his face all wrong.

I wish you're dead.

I want you dead.

You scum.

You don't deserve to live.

It had been Kogure who had seen her vandalize the locker of the upperclassman. The upperclassman had always skipped out on classes. He was some gangster, a local leader. He was charismatic, according to some. He also seemed to have no more purpose in life as well.

Just like her.

You devil.

I wish you'll run.

She had written those degrading words on the metal feel of the locker and its door, within its confines.

Damn you.

Dickless.

It had been December, the last day of school that term when she took to doing it: the vandalism. The classes had parties and she had decided to leave her classroom because she felt so suffocated. She had been feeling melancholy, and wanted to kick something. She had kicked the locker, thus opening it. What happened was that she felt possessed to take out all those anger in the world. She cut her skin with a cutter, unafraid, and she had dipped her finger.

She wrote those vandalism in scarlet plasma, dripping.

No one will care. No one.

For a time, it was only her and her anger. Then someone stopped her, grabbed her arms, put them around her. She didn't scream, she had been numb.

She remembered a familiar voice.

"TANAKA-SAN! STOP IT!"

The vice captain.

"AKAGI! KEEP HER HANDS OFF!"

Then someone had held her up.

"Tanaka!"

Someone had bought her to the clinic to recover. Then she had felt dizzy and limp, and slept. When she had woken up, she had seen Kogure, shaking his head.

"TANAKA! What possessed you to do such a thing?"

He had been so worried.

Then everything had dawned on her at once.

Two years, she didn't cry. But she had cried that day, burying her face in Kogure's neck. Then she had begged him not to tell anyone she had cried.

She had cried the hardest.

"Tanaka-san? I want to talk to you. It's about Mitsui."

Ami glanced up.

"What about him?"

There were traces of the old coldness in her.

Why did she feel so cold?

"He seemed so upset lately. When Coach asked him what was his problem, he murmured some things and Akagi had to force it out of him. He's such a tough cookie – but in the end, it was you. He mentioned you. When I talked to him in personal, he burst out everything."

"Everything?"

Ami's belly lurched.

"He said you've been ignoring him ever since you went to watch us play Shoyo. You don't recall his texts and calls with your own. I want to talk to you about that."

Ami frowned.

Jeez.

She had had her own reasons for the separation. She wanted time alone. She had karate, especially, with the upcoming Nationals. She had had reviews on her own.

"I'm busy."

"If you were busy, then why did Misaki tell me you were available?"

Damn.

"I have karate."

"I asked your captain, Ichinose-san. He seems to have a high opinion of you. He said you were the hardest worker on the team. He said that you'd be available, too."

She frowned.

"Tanaka-san, I want you to explain yourself to me. Mitsui's a really sensitive guy. He seems so thoroughly affected by your coldness. You two were a lively pair. One would think you'd be man and wife. It's really strange."

"What if he's so worried about me? At least he's not jealous, is he?"

"Tanaka." Kogure lay a hand on her shoulders. "He's like a child, you know that, out of all the people! You and he spend the days together! He's like a child, to the point he can possibly not differentiate the real difference between romantic and platonic relationship."

Yes, Toothless did.

"He's so worried, and he seems so upset! It'd do him good to be cheered up by you! He's way more enthusiastic when you're around and besides, I want to have this sorted out. Why did you ignore him?"

"I thought I needed some time off." She inhaled. "I wanted to think about things."

"What things?"

"I wanted to think about my past, about everything… About how I've become a monster." She wiped her face sternly. "I also thought about… how hard he is, how he's so damn irrepressible. He's pushing himself, and really trying hard. I've seen how hard his life is, when I watched your game. Did you know what I felt when I saw him collapse? I felt so worried. I care about him, too, you know…" Her lips twitched. "But I should care for myself first."

Kogure nodded.

"And I thought about how he really presses me into feeling more care for myself… Maybe I shouldn't hold back on myself. I've suppressed enough hate in myself. I have too much trauma for a girl my age. I've been angry too long. I ought to take it out somewhere else." She looked at him.

Her eyes shone indigo.

"I've decided my choice. I want to be stronger. For him. I have to help him."

Kogure sighed.

"What I really want to hear from you was your view on his opinion on you. I think you don't realize it."

"Realize what? He sees me as a toy?"

"I think he maybe harboring feelings for you."

After the busy day, she started the training. Aside from the sessions with Misaki, shopping with her for black clothes, she decided to go play basketball again.

Day after day, she didn't tell Toothless. She felt tired at first, but slowly, her muscles started getting used once again to the feel of the poetry of the sport.

Back when she was playing for the girls' team, she had a Small Forward role. She didn't dance, but she was useful on court, because of some abilities. She had had good speed, good stamina, and better yet, she was renowned for her ability to replicate other's movements and reproduce them with better results.

Perfect Copy Tanaka.

Heroine Tanaka.

She smiled as she practiced her forms.

Bring the boys out.

"What song are you going to do?"

Ami sighed.

"I'm going to do something edgy. I thought about it, since the PT is about getting personal, I wanted something that really fits me. I wanted something powerful, strong, edgy."

"When's the next PT?"

Toothless smiled at her with interest.

"Tomorrow."

"Are you scared?" he joked.

"No." Ami shook her head. Her hair was styled better, wavy tendrils. She looked glowing now.

"Why?"

"I have no reason to be."

She smirked cockily.

The day of the PT, on the stage, she was the best. Misaki had passed as one of the best. But it wasn't Misaki he was looking for. It was Tanaka. Tanaka the rabid girl. Tanaka who was mad on everything she did. He had to see her. Her. Her. Her. That stubborn karateka, not Misaki. Eagerly, he saw her walk, smooth and looking hot as the sun. Her hair was loose and there were some light brown highlights that bought out her fair skin. She wore a classy tailored suit the color of her eyes, a black man's tie, a man's collar and black jeggings with boots.

The music began.

I can tell that you're looking at me

Any closer and you can feel the heat.

"Is that Tanaka?"

Kogure.

"Yeah," Mitsui confirmed, his eyes fixed on her as she performed.

"She looks better than ever. Do you know that this song is supposed to be personal and this task is about bringing out a personal as well as an elegant concept in the aspect of performance?"

Mitsui shook his head.

"Nopes."

"Too bad. I chose mine as something suave so I chose BEAST's Fiction. Miss Hyuga seemed to enjoy it."

Kogure looked at Miss Hyuga. Her eyes were fixed on Tanaka, too. Beautiful, tragic, bitchy Miss Hyuga.

Something in her seemed to soften.

In the teacher's own eyes, was a pile of massing tears.

"So what do you think Tanaka is supposed to project?"

Mitsui remembered the pile of roses she had scattered earlier. He remembered the pile of hair at the floor that she threw on entering the room, golden hair.

Rapunzel.

Her shoes were mismatched.

Cinderella.

The way she carried herself. Fierce. Edgy. Feminine. Brave. Beautiful Tanaka.

"Courage."

"Close."

Kogure nodded at Miss Hyuga, who was wiping an eye.

"Then what?"

"A heroine who conquers her struggles, knows she can fly and shine, that she can conquer history little by little. She wants to bring the boys out."

That moment, he realized that unconsciously the rude girl he had known had bloomed into a beautiful woman who would be great.

"Who's your next opponent?"

"Kainan."

Tanaka pouted.

"Kainan's really strong," she offered.

"We can take it."

"Sure, you can. But work harder."

That weekend, he had gone out for snacks at the local snack bar with her, after the weekend's daily routine. Jogging with her. Playing with her. She made him do push-ups. She made him stand all day, till his bones ached. She made him do martial arts stuff that made your body hurt all over black and blue.

But nothing had made him more dismal.

He was glad to see her open up.

"Misaki."

There. Right there, he was. Facing the busty girl in the hallways. The demonic Misaki Tsunemori in her all-out blaze of intelligence, cruelty and vivacity.

"What? You gonna tell me you like me?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I'd like to say thank you. Thank you for helping Tanaka. I'm glad you made her bloom so well."

"Told you so."

The next week, Misaki Tsunemori announced she would be running for Student Council president despite her young age.

The school got busy.

The days were ticking past, and suddenly, the leaves of the trees… They just didn't seem so happy anymore. He spent time with her, and enjoyed her presence, the part she played in the routine of his life. It had been some time like this, before.

He had Aoi, now he had her.

He had a dream, and he was beginning to chase for it.

"Are you voting Misaki?" he asked her one day while eating lunch.

"Why?"

"Curious."

"Ohhhh…"

"Well?"

"Eh.. She's not bad. She's damn good. She's responsible, overachieving… The works. She's a good class rep, and she's really scary, too."

Scary, no doubt at all.

"And compromising," Mitsui added.

"How would someone like you know, Toothless?" she asked, looking up with a frown in her voice. "You're this guy who seems to have no goal in life but play basketball and chase after broken things that you lost."

"I lost everything. I'm not willing to lose them again, Tanaka."

"What did you lost the most?"

"I lost the will to live and smile again. I thought life was not worth living without basketball. I sank into despair and such a sin was almost unforgivable. I lost my dearest friend to the point I forgot my promises to him that I would study and work hard for his sake. I never saw him again."

"So you had someone, too?"

"Of course, I did."

His smile was sober.

"We were childhood friends, we were pretty close and I didn't see him as someone I'd want to leave behind. I wanted to live with him, be a family with him, live in the same neighborhood with him when we would settle once we got older and started getting wives. It takes time to know a man."

"As a man would know a woman."

"I don't know. I've never chased anyone seriously."

"Say, you wanted to chase after someone, someone you wanted to be yours. How would that person fit your idea as someone you want to chase after?"

"Someone cute, not too ugly, not too beautiful. Someone kind to me and will gladly make me my meals. Someone I can trust easily."

He sighed.

"Someone who will listen to me."

"Whoa."

"Hey!"

"I didn't expect that. I thought you wanted some cute nice girl with nice legs like Hyuna. Physically, what's your type?"

"Hmmm… Blue eyes, pretty hair, small waist, long legs. Lean and strong. Not too skinny, not too fat."

"I see. Found anyone you like?"

"Maybe."

Shit. Kogure was right.

The first day after that, Tanaka basically ignored him again. She was strange, moody, suddenly so quiet. Sometimes, she'd speak for a little. When Mitsui tried to bribe her into talking by offering her some burgers he'd gotten from Kogure's table, she didn't say anything.

Day two.

He decided to go ask Suwabe-sensei what was happening with her. Of course, he was no idiot. Mitsui knew the old man well enough.

Not that Suwabe was really old, too. About some years doubled and added, but young and good-looking enough to woo the girls' hearts into fangirling and such. He was a tall man, clean-shaven and formal enough to be mistaken as the heartthrob coach of some big-shot basketball team. He taught exceptionally well, and was a smart guy, although he didn't seem like it from looks and the way he sometimes joked. The man was nice to talk to, relateable.

Kogure had liked him as a teacher, too.

Suwabe taught English, Literature, and as a substitute sometimes for PE if the teacher was absent or just well, missing in action. Many girls liked him. Most boys wanted to be him. He had this array of rugged locks that fell across his smooth alabaster brow like silk in soft tendrils. Out of the classroom, he was known to be really athletic, rugged but polished enough to be acknowledged universally as a force of an intellectual man.

To say that Tanaka had gotten his attention was no joke. For some reason, he had heard, the teacher was impressed with her and often spent time together reading and poring over old books, chatting about karate and sports. They talked like old friends. With Hyuga-sensei, it was another story. She frowned at him coldly, and kept her head high. To say she disliked him was a mere understatement. To say she detested him and loathed him was the truth.

"Anyone she's close to?"

"Hmmm, I'd say Suwabe-sensei."

"Huh?!"

"Yes, that's it. He looks at her as if she's going to win the Pulitzer Prize, I've heard. The man dotes on her."

"How would you know?"

"I know her a lot better. I'm also aware of everything about her activities. I also watch out for her." Kogure tapped the piece of metal that held the two lenses in their place in his glasses.

"Why you? What is she to you, I mean, why –"

"I'm also taking care of her. Misaki wanted me to. She's a good friend to me, and I've been doing what I can to help her. The girl needs friends so I offered my help."

"But Suwabe –"

"Yes, they do. Go ask him. The man doesn't go a whole week without mentioning and talking to her."

When he got Suwabe-sensei, the teacher asked if he was Tanaka's boyfriend, which was awkward. After brushing the comment off, he inquired about her status, at least.

"She said she's busy working on something for me."

"Something for you?"

"Yes."

"What is it, then?"

"It's something she wrote especially."

She wrote… She did…

He had seen her eyes squint, her attention all on a pen and paper, scratching words, making meanings of the empty spaces in her imagination. Her concentration was strong.

He had seen that strength: the physical, the strong power of her will, and the utter despair of her hate. She could be weak – she was ill-tempered, quick to fire, callous, aimless. Fickle.

Hate and depression.

Like Aoi did.

Aoi had always been writing.

"What is it about?"

"Basketball."

"Basketball," Aoi told him with a smile.

Something clicked.

…

Wait.

…

Was she really Aoi?

...

Aoi wouldn't be like that, would she?

Day three. He decided to go get his research done. He went around school asking for old pictures of Tanaka.

By the time the day was over, he had over a dozen pictures.

All were courtesy of Ryota, Ayako, Misaki, Kogure and Rukawa, for some reason.

Days became a week.

A week became two weeks.

Two weeks later, he was done.

And funny enough, she wanted to talk with him the day he realized something.

She was there, her hair brushed and tied nicely. She looked neat and small, looking for a missing labyrinth.

"Oi, Toothless!"

The clutch she held on to her bag tightened.

"Hmmm?"

"Can you go with me? Let's eat ramen out together."

Suddenly, she grabbed on him and dragged him away. Behind him, he could swear someone was watching.

Would it be a date?

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delays! I hope the readers will enjoy this. Hopefully, I think the puzzle is almost getting solved. Thanks for the support.

Edit: I edited a bit, since some parts seem redundant, and I'm planning to update the chapters, hopefully.