A/N: I can't stop! Help me!……also, gunna take some advice here and write
more stories in first person, so look for my next thing to post, may be
andromeda though. Plus I have no idea how long this one is gunna make me
write, its so pushy!
Wesley
Ok so there are voices, that much I know. And due to the lack of neck at this point I would assume that there are also drugs. Always a happy addition to any day. But for some reason there doesn't seem to be higher brain function, could be due to the presence of the drugs, could be due to a lack of head, at this point I'm not really sure.
Either way I'm happy about it, extremely happy, as a matter of fact.
And there are voices, one of which is not quite forming words.
"Yeah, daddy was sooo scared, yes he was, yes he was. He was scared out of his mind, yes he was, he was, he was." And that surprisingly is the coherent one, what kind of world am I waking to?!
Oh look, a hand that moves, so why can't I see it?
"Easy Wes." There's suddenly that voice again, only now more serious and closer. "You hit your head a good one. You're going to have to take it easy for awhile."
Oh, oh, I have eyes, look, look and they work they really work! You are Angel. I know you.
"That's it just lay back." Am I not already lying back, did I miss something here? Evidently I did because now the world is at a different angle then I used to be, which by the way my stomach is not very happy about.
How long has he been here? I seem to remember the voice for a while back, like I've been out for quite some time. I remember humming and talking, if you can call it that, and singing quietly. And of course it was all accompanied by the presence of gooing or squealing or infantile laughter.
Which means Lorne, and Cordelia, and Fred had also been here at some point.
It's the why where they here that my brain seems unable to wrap around. Me being the one who put the child in danger, I did do that didn't I? It's so hard to think right now. Maybe I just need some more sleep. Or a Popsicle, that seems like it would help to. So without talking how does a drugged, barely conscious, Englishman ask for a Popsicle. This will require some thought wont it, darn.
~~~~1~~~~1~~~~1~~~~1~~~~
Angel
Could a baby be any cuter, I think not. I wish Cordy had left me the bottle though when she left to sleep some. I think he may still be hungry. Father's intuition.
I can't stop smiling; I'm still Mr. Dad. He's here, and I'm having trouble picturing him gone. Like my brain doesn't want to except that it was anything other then a very bad dream that I eventually woke from, and there he was. It's a logic I can't seem to fight right now.
Those feelings I was having, they are all wrong now. I was feeling pain at the mention of my sons name and rage at the mention of Wesley's. Now I can't imagine those feelings associated with the two persons before me. Conner's name, spoken or thought, brings nothing but the deepest joy to my heart, a joy that any other time would scare me and have me begging to be chained, and a love of the deepest roots. And Wesley's name arrives with an overwhelming gratitude and love.
These have become the pillars in my life.
It seems so uselessly nieve and trite that two weeks ago I was wallowing in pain at the thought that Cordelia had found someone else. I thought I was so alone, seeing Gunn and Fred together only served to deepen that feeling. Because of that I was clinging to Conner with all my inhuman might.
But now I see I wasn't the one alone. Some of us were so intent on the help of others, so focused on sparing the pain they were already feeling that no one noticed how alone they were.
Well Wes will not be alone any more.
I think as long as there is Conner or I, he will always have a place somewhere, I will see to it. I think that way, in a way, I wont have to be alone again either. I defiantly don't want to feel that terror ever again.
"Yeah, daddy was sooo scared, yes he was, yes he was. He was scared out of his mind, yes he was, he was, he was." Oh look I got a bubble out of that, well then it was well worth it.
I think Wes's arm just moved, did I see it or did I just want to see it?
Nope he's awake, and sitting up like a zombie on a coroners table. It's almost creepy. Ok it is creepy. Especially with his eyes opening so slowly like that.
"Easy Wes. You hit your head a good one. You're going to have to take it easy for awhile." I'm just going to apply a little pressure to his chest right here, and try to ignore the eerily blank expression in his eyes.
Ok there doesn't seem to be any resistance to this, "That's it just lay back." gunna step back now, seen Conner get that look moments before I get a second look at what he ate for the day.
He looks to have it back under control though. Except, ok, what does that hand motion mean, do I even want to know?
Wesley
Ok so there are voices, that much I know. And due to the lack of neck at this point I would assume that there are also drugs. Always a happy addition to any day. But for some reason there doesn't seem to be higher brain function, could be due to the presence of the drugs, could be due to a lack of head, at this point I'm not really sure.
Either way I'm happy about it, extremely happy, as a matter of fact.
And there are voices, one of which is not quite forming words.
"Yeah, daddy was sooo scared, yes he was, yes he was. He was scared out of his mind, yes he was, he was, he was." And that surprisingly is the coherent one, what kind of world am I waking to?!
Oh look, a hand that moves, so why can't I see it?
"Easy Wes." There's suddenly that voice again, only now more serious and closer. "You hit your head a good one. You're going to have to take it easy for awhile."
Oh, oh, I have eyes, look, look and they work they really work! You are Angel. I know you.
"That's it just lay back." Am I not already lying back, did I miss something here? Evidently I did because now the world is at a different angle then I used to be, which by the way my stomach is not very happy about.
How long has he been here? I seem to remember the voice for a while back, like I've been out for quite some time. I remember humming and talking, if you can call it that, and singing quietly. And of course it was all accompanied by the presence of gooing or squealing or infantile laughter.
Which means Lorne, and Cordelia, and Fred had also been here at some point.
It's the why where they here that my brain seems unable to wrap around. Me being the one who put the child in danger, I did do that didn't I? It's so hard to think right now. Maybe I just need some more sleep. Or a Popsicle, that seems like it would help to. So without talking how does a drugged, barely conscious, Englishman ask for a Popsicle. This will require some thought wont it, darn.
~~~~1~~~~1~~~~1~~~~1~~~~
Angel
Could a baby be any cuter, I think not. I wish Cordy had left me the bottle though when she left to sleep some. I think he may still be hungry. Father's intuition.
I can't stop smiling; I'm still Mr. Dad. He's here, and I'm having trouble picturing him gone. Like my brain doesn't want to except that it was anything other then a very bad dream that I eventually woke from, and there he was. It's a logic I can't seem to fight right now.
Those feelings I was having, they are all wrong now. I was feeling pain at the mention of my sons name and rage at the mention of Wesley's. Now I can't imagine those feelings associated with the two persons before me. Conner's name, spoken or thought, brings nothing but the deepest joy to my heart, a joy that any other time would scare me and have me begging to be chained, and a love of the deepest roots. And Wesley's name arrives with an overwhelming gratitude and love.
These have become the pillars in my life.
It seems so uselessly nieve and trite that two weeks ago I was wallowing in pain at the thought that Cordelia had found someone else. I thought I was so alone, seeing Gunn and Fred together only served to deepen that feeling. Because of that I was clinging to Conner with all my inhuman might.
But now I see I wasn't the one alone. Some of us were so intent on the help of others, so focused on sparing the pain they were already feeling that no one noticed how alone they were.
Well Wes will not be alone any more.
I think as long as there is Conner or I, he will always have a place somewhere, I will see to it. I think that way, in a way, I wont have to be alone again either. I defiantly don't want to feel that terror ever again.
"Yeah, daddy was sooo scared, yes he was, yes he was. He was scared out of his mind, yes he was, he was, he was." Oh look I got a bubble out of that, well then it was well worth it.
I think Wes's arm just moved, did I see it or did I just want to see it?
Nope he's awake, and sitting up like a zombie on a coroners table. It's almost creepy. Ok it is creepy. Especially with his eyes opening so slowly like that.
"Easy Wes. You hit your head a good one. You're going to have to take it easy for awhile." I'm just going to apply a little pressure to his chest right here, and try to ignore the eerily blank expression in his eyes.
Ok there doesn't seem to be any resistance to this, "That's it just lay back." gunna step back now, seen Conner get that look moments before I get a second look at what he ate for the day.
He looks to have it back under control though. Except, ok, what does that hand motion mean, do I even want to know?