Yay! Another chapter for you!! Two day's before Christmas! I'll try to get the 11th chapter up on Christmas Day, just for you guys! How about a Christmas present for me? Hmm... I have an idea of what you guys could do... REVIEW!!! Please. PLease. PLEase. PLEAse!!!! PLEASe!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!! I'm begging.
I couldn't help myself, I was so happy now. It was surreal, actually. Maybe I had actually fallen asleep for the first time in over a hundred years. My hand was still in Alice's as we wandered down the streets of the French Quarter in New Orleans, Louisiana. I was in serious pain, but I didn't want Alice roaming around on her own. Every person we passed was making the burn in my throat get hotter, and I had to fight the urge to rip their throats out and drink their warm, sweet blo-
"Jasper, do you need to go back to the hotel?" She asked, jerking me away from a person I was about to attack.
"No. I'm alright for now," I lied. I wanted her to see what she wanted to see.
"If you say so," she said as she walked into a shop to look around.
I held my breath and tried to compose my face. I felt Alice tighten her grip on my hand. She was getting nervous. There was only one human in the store, and the streets weren't crowded at all. I had hunted not too long ago today, but my thirst was once again brought to the surface by the smell of human blood. I couldn't even distract myself by looking at the merchandise of the store because it had human scent on it.
In less than a blink of an eye, I lost it. I couldn't control what I was doing at all. Alice didn't have near enough time to stop me from attacking the woman behind the register. I lunged over the counter and sank my teeth into human flesh for the first time in a month. The sweet, warm blood that I quickly drank was so satisfying. I kept biting deeper, for the blood I needed couldn't come out fast enough. I snapped the woman's neck, knowing I'd let her live too long and that her emotions would haunt me. Damn it. I heard Alice yelling my name, but I was too entranced in the sweet blood to care.
"Jasper! Jasper, stop! Stop!" Alice commanded firmly, pulling on me. I could only snarl and tense over the woman as I finished her off. I jerked away from the woman, her emotions sinking in. the shock, terror, awe, and anger were so familiar. I hated them.
"I'm sorry, Alice. I tried. I tried to control it," I said unable to make myself look at anything but the floor. It felt as if someone had stabbed my dead heart with a hot iron. I felt Alice's disappointment and sadness creep over me, along with my own guilt.
"Jasper, I know. You're alright," I heard her soprano voice say as she put her arms around me.
"No, Alice, I'm not. Sometimes I wonder if you're too good too me. I love you, Alice, but you need someone that's good for you. That someone, unfortunately isn't me," I said as I turned and ran as fast as I could out of the store. I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't disappoint Alice any more than I already had.
I found a tree in an isolated, swampy region with no people. In its branches, I glared down at nothing in particular. I couldn't believe I screwed up again. Self control was the hardest thing I'd ever tried to accomplish. I was used to catching on to things easily, and this never ceased to amaze me. I was angry at myself. I grabbed onto a bough as thick as my arm. I squeezed and felt the branch crumple in my hand, splinters falling into the shallow, muddy water below. An hour later I heard a voice.
"Jasper, talk to me. Please," the voice said softly from the ground.
I couldn't make myself respond, but I let out a pained sigh and closed my eyes. I heard the water splash and felt something land on a low branch of the tree. I knew it was Alice. I felt her climb onto the branch right beside mine.
"Jazz, you've only killed five people in the past six months. That's pretty good. Switching lifestyles is hard. I know you disappoint yourself every time you kill someone, but you're getting better. I know you'll get better, I've seen it. I love you, Jasper. Talk to me," she pleaded, touching my shoulder and letting her unconditional love, compassion, and sadness flow to me.
"Thank you, Alice. I love you, too. My eyes are red again, aren't they?" I asked her, knowing the answer.
"Yes. Why did you stay with me when your throat was burning that badly?" Alice asked.
"Because I didn't want you to be alone," I replied, looking at her for the first time since she had climbed into the tree.
"Jasper, I would've come back to the hotel with you. Promise me that if you feel like you might lose control, you'll tell me from now on. By the time I see that you're going to attack someone, it'll be too late," Alice said, pushing a strand of hair from my face.
"I promise," I said as I pulled her gently onto my lap.
"Thank you, Jazz," she said, looking up into my eyes, which were red. Again. I wished I had learned of this lifestyle earlier. Maybe it would've been easier for me.
"Anything for you, Alice," I replied honestly, trying to soften the look of my eyes, communicating the difficulty of this life to her.
She responded by sympathetically lowering her eyes, then looking back up at me with liquid honey eyes. It was as if she were saying something to the effect of, "I know this is hard for you, but I'll help you through it."
I lifted the corners of my mouth, my eyes transferring gratefulness to her, along with my ability backing it up. My expression clearly said, "Thank you."
She smiled widely now, entertained by this silent conversation. We barely needed words. I couldn't help smiling back at this perfect angel. She apparently picked up on that thought because she lifted an eyebrow.
"I'm far from perfect," she said out loud.
"I know, you can read my mind," I said.
"That's a bad thing?" She asked, giggling.
"Not all the time," I said, smiling, "You seeing the future just ruins surprises, that's all."
"Well, you surprised me earlier, in a bad way. But it happens. And you surprised me when you kissed me," she said, taking my hand as she jumped out of the tree. I laughed when I noticed her shoes were in her free hand.
"So, you have trouble seeing snap decisions?" I asked, smirking.
"Maybe," she replied, dancing near me. She was smirking with me.
When we got back to the hotel, she dug through her purse. She knew that red, or even orange eyes would attract attention. She always kept a few pairs of contacts with her for these situations. I hated being a liability to her, but she wasn't taken aback by it in the least.
"Alice, is the body taken care of?" I asked, looking down at the floor guiltily.
"Don't worry, it's all taken care of, Jazz. There's no evidence," she paused, glanced at me, then giggled as she walked over to me, "Except for the blood on your face."
I got up, walking into the bathroom to wash my face. I intentionally kept my eyes off of the mirror, knowing I wouldn't like the reflection of the monster waiting for me to look up. I sighed as I walked back out into the bedroom, where Alice was sitting on the bed, scanning the future by the look in her eyes.
"See anything interesting?" I asked, sitting in the chair beside the bed, watching her focus on something far away.
"I see you and Emmett play fighting," she said, laughing lightly.
"And?" I asked, eager to hear who wins.
"You win every time. Emmett's stronger, but you have the speed and experience. You and Edward could fight for years without a winner," she added, smirking. Pride radiated from her.
Damn impulses. I couldn't help myself. I closed the space between us and kissed her, taking her off guard again. She caught on quickly, and within one hundredth of a second she was kissing me back. I kept it chaste, not wanting to move too fast. When I pulled away, she giggled.
"That was really random," she said.
"I know. Sorry. Random impulse," I said, looking away as she laughed harder.
"Don't be. It's one of the few times you're ever going to surprise me," she said, smiling, "So, you've actually seen the Volturi?"
"Yes. And, unfortunately, they weren't happy at the time. They only come to clean out the vampires that expose themselves," I replied grimly, grimacing at the memory.
"Oh. That's terrible," Alice said, putting her hand on mine, distracting me from my grisly memories that I didn't ever want to return to.
"Yeah. So, where do you want to see next? I think New Orleans is about ready to kick us out," I laughed dryly, thinking of the store clerk and wincing visibly. I hated that Alice had to see my monstrous side.
"How about Dallas? I want to see where you grew up, though I'm certain that it's changed dramatically," she suggested.
"Sure. I have some things to see there, too," I agreed, "We'll leave tomorrow." "Alright. What do you want to do while we're there?"
"Pay respects to a few friends of mine. I think they're buried there. I want to see my bodiless grave, see what they think happened to me," I said, thinking of my family that I changed. Would they have graves there as well?
"Oh. That's understandable. Hey, Memorial Day is coming up, too. And the fair! We could go and see everything there is to see! And-" she stopped when my eyes widened when she said "fair". She suddenly focused on the future, then grimaced, "Okay, not the fair. Too many people. I'll have trouble with control, too. Don't feel bad, Jazz."
"Thanks. It helps to know that control isn't easy for you, either," I murmured.
"It's not easy for anyone, Jasper. Not even Carlisle. He had to work extremely hard to be able to be a doctor," Alice soothed.
We talked idly through the rest of the night and into the cloudy morning. Then, near noon, we left for Texas, my home state.
Jasper: [steals my guitar and starts playing]
Me: Hey! I know that song!
Jasper: I know you do. That's why I'm playing it.
Me: Savin' Me by Nickelback. I love that song!
Jasper: I know. You steal my ipod on a daily basis! It's bad enough that you changed my ringtone on my phone to Cuppycake!
Me: [Laughs] That was funny. [takes ipod out of Jasper's pocket]
Jasper: I swear you need your own ipod.
Me: I know. Mom might be getting me one for Christmas.
Jasper: Thank you, God! I'm sorry I ever doubted your existence.
Me: Jazz, did you ever confess all that you did?
Jasper: Unofficially. Carlisle was kind of a pastor, I guess.
Me: Good, well I got to go before-
Alice: Chloe! I saw that!
[I scream]