Chapter 10
Sharing
I am sitting, watching the sun lighten up the world. It's a very beautiful thing, if you ever have time to just quiet down and watch it. I am glad it's coming up because I am kind of cold. I put my jacket on Ed while he was sleeping. He was shivering, and I didn't know what to do. Both of them are still sleeping now.
I keep reflecting on what it was I said to Ed last night. "It's quite a miserable existence." To be honest, it is. But why would I tell him that? I was trying to set walls. To spy, not to make friends. I have no friends, and no allies. My name is Hate, not Love. Having hate-filled emotions doesn't make people particularly like you. And why do I feel this way? As far as I'm concerned, I have a lot of hatred, but only to one specific man. It's not like I detest everything, right?
Or perhaps I do. I don't know anymore. When did I lose sight of my purpose? Did I ever even have one to begin with?
"Hate?" a voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
It's Ed. He's holding out my jacket.
"Thanks." I put it on.
"The sunrise is nice, huh?" he asks.
"Indeed." I say, "I haven't really watched one before."
"Why not?"
"Living as me is harder than you'd believe."
He laughs, "Yeah, it probably is."
"Do you dream, Ed?" I blurt.
"Dream? Of course, don't you?"
"Usually not. What does it feel like?"
He pauses. "It's hard to explain."
"I think everything about humans is hard to explain."
I have many questions. Like, why am I not human myself? Why must I live this way?