I Don't Wanna Be Anyone Other Than Me
A Girl Meets World AU Fan Fiction Series
Chapter 9: Secrets

A/N: Okay, so I move in on Wednesday meaning these next four days are going to be mega hectic with seeing everybody I need to see one more time and running last minute errands and the whole moving in process. But, then I have a few days before everybody else arrives on campus and classes start, where all I have is job training so my updates will probably continue to be scattered until after Wednesday but then you'll have some pretty decent updates before classes start and I have to figure out a schedule for updates. Love you all and thanks so much for the patience!

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

"What was Isa-bora Smackle trying to talk to you about?" Missy made a face as Josh approached the quartet of girls at Maya's locker that morning.

"Is that who that was? That weird girl you used to hang out with in middle school? She was dating Farkle or something, wasn't she?" Josh wondered, wrapping his arms around Maya's waist from behind, resting his head on her shoulder as she worked on emptying her bag and loading up the books she'd need for her first few classes of the day.

"Yeah," Maya rolled her eyes. "But, she's not dating Farkle anymore and from the looks of it, she's not that weird anymore," she muttered.

"Are you jealous? Of that nerd?" Josh laughed, his breath hot as it landed directly in Maya's ear, sending a shiver down her spine at the contact.

"She's jealous, all right-but not of Smackle," Darby snickered from her own locker, on the opposite side of Maya from where Missy was positioned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Josh asked, and Maya could feel him tense up, which meant that he had a pretty good idea what Darby was going on about, and that just further frustrated Maya.

What bothered her even more was the fact that Riley was still there and was going to hear all about Maya's relationship problems. And Riley probably knew all about Josh's sex life from their freshman year, because she was, after all, his sister and had a habit of eavesdropping. And with everything Riley probably already knew about Maya's relationship with Josh, she didn't need to know this additional issue.

Riley didn't need any sort of blackmail that she could use to hold over Maya. As soon as Lucas's plan was over, Maya was done with this game. She had learned her lesson that morning in the elevator with Farkle.

Things were never going to be the same for the former Six Clique. Their friendship was over and they were better off apart. So, they were apart and they were living their own separate lives now. It was better that way. It had to be that way, because they had their own lives now and it had been far too long.

Besides, Maya couldn't go on getting her hopes up that she and Riley could rekindle their friendship. It was never going to happen and Maya needed to make sure that no tighter ties were made between the two girls.

"She knows about Jenkins, asshole," Missy snapped, slamming her locker shut and whirling around to glare at her best friend's boyfriend, arms crossed over her chest as she leaned up against the metal door.

"What?" Josh's arms dropped from around her and she could feel the distance grow between them as he took a step back. "What are you talking about? Maya, what's going on?"

Maya slammed her locker shut, swinging her back up onto her shoulder as she whirled around on her keel, fury flooding her blue eyes. She hadn't wanted to do it this way, but if it was going to happen publically, she was going to put on a show. After all, an audience was already starting to slowly form, all acting as though they didn't care about what was happening, but trying to watch and listen all the same.

If her subjects wanted a show, well she was going to give them the best damn show she could muster up. She would make a scene, all right.

Only, she wouldn't.

She couldn't because that wasn't what perfect girls like this new version of Maya did.

Instead, she would be polite and sweet. She would be honest and pure. She'd be quiet and tame and she would act like her heart wasn't breaking. She would act like she wasn't ready to tear Josh's heart out of his chest and stomp on it the way that he had done with her own, by lying to her and acting as though her first time would be his first time, making their relationship all the more special and strengthening their bond.

Missy was aloud to give her snarky comments and encourage Maya to be feisty, but she wasn't one to make a public scene either. Darby was the vocalized one. She was the one who threw a bitch fit and drew attention to everything, but not when it came to her friend's personal lives.

Riley, however, didn't know the rules. She didn't know that she was supposed to sit there quietly.

She actually ended up losing her cool and acting as though she and Maya still had the friendship that they had had back in middle school. The friendship that had always seemed to unbreakable and that everybody had always been jealous of.

No, Riley didn't sit there quietly like the rest of Maya's friends. Instead, she absolutely lost her cool and blew her top.

"You didn't tell her? You never told her that you hooked up with Jenkins right before you and her got together? How could you not tell her that? You promised me that you would tell her everything. What? Did you just let her believe that you were a virgin or something?"

Her voice rose in volume as she stormed towards him, pointing a finger in her twin brother's face and backing him up into the wall between the two rows of lockers, almost threatening to push him from the large window in the little alcove their lockers were located in. Her eyes were narrowed and her mouth was a straight, emotionless line.

"Why do you even care? It's not like you guys are friends," Josh rolled his eyes. "She just pities you. She feels bad that you're so pathetic," Josh snorted.

"It doesn't matter. She was my best friend when you slept with Jenkins and when you decided that Maya was more than just your little sister's best friend, you promised me that you would tell her. You swore," Riley glared.

"So what? She was stupid enough to believe that I was a virgin," Josh said, flashing that cool guy grin that normally impressed everybody.

This time, though, it sparked rage in the four girls who were standing in the hallway, watching the brunette pair of twins in their fight.

"Oh no he didn't," Missy gasped, shaking her head as a slightly amused but mostly shocked smile formed on her face, with hatred filling her eyes. "He did not just call my best friend stupid."

"Oh, I know that he didn't call my girl stupid. My straight-A, Honor Society, captain of the cheerleading team, ivy-league bound best friend. How dare he call her stupid," Darby chuckled, shaking her head as she slowly started to walk towards him, arms crossed over her chest as she walked.

"Stop," Maya said, throwing her hand out and cutting off Darby's path to Josh. "Both of you," she grabbed Missy's shoulder with her other hand, pulling her back.

"Let me at him!" Darby whined.

"No," Maya shook her head. "Let her handle it. I want to see where this goes."

"Maya isn't stupid. She's never been stupid. How could you say that about her? I know that you love her, Josh. I know that you care about her. So, why are you acting like this? Why are you acting like she doesn't mean anything to you?" Riley frowned, staring at her brother as if it were the first time she was truly seeing him.

"He's trying to maintain his image, Riles," Maya said softly. "It doesn't matter what he's feeling. He'd rather be the most popular guy in school and cast me aside like I was garbage then admit that he was wrong. That he isn't Mr. Perfect. And, you know what? If he'd rather lie to everybody, including himself, than have me….maybe he's not the guy I've been obsessed with all these years," Maya admitted.

"Maya, what are you saying?"

Josh's entire expression changed as he pushed past Riley, making his way towards Maya with hurt written all over his face. He looked like his entire world was crashing down around him, and it was the response that Maya had hoped she would get from him, but had never thought he would actually give her.

"I'm saying that if you'd rather put on this act, then you and I can't be together, because I'm not going to be in a relationship that's more about image than anything else," Maya said, trying her best to remain confident.

She was hoping that this continued to go according to her plan, but she knew better than to believe that it actually would, because her life didn't typically work out the way that she wanted it to work. That was a rarity for her. Besides, it didn't seem likely that she could keep both Matthews' siblings in her life, and after Riley racing to her defense and hearing what had sparked the brunette's anger, it seemed impossible to cast her aside again.

"Maya," Josh sighed, running a hand through his dark locks. "I want to be with you. I don't know when you stopped being Riley's best friend, but you did and that was the best realization I ever made. I love you, Maya, and I can't lose you. All of this? It means nothing to me if I don't have you," he explained, taking a few cautious steps towards her.

"Why didn't you tell me about Jenkins?" Maya accused, arms crossed over her chest.

"Because it didn't mean anything. If I could go back in time and change it, I would. I just…I didn't want to tell you and have you think that it meant something when it didn't. But I was wrong and I know that now," he assured her.

"No more secrets?" Maya cocked an eyebrow.

"If you'll forgive me, I swear that I'll be honest with you about everything in my life until the day that I die," he promised.

"Well, girls? What do we think?" Maya wondered, looking between her friends with a half-smile on her face.

"I say he's gotta earn your forgiveness. Maybe….a smoothie run for lunch?" Missy said thoughtfully, a smug smile on her face.

"Oh, and Insomnia cookies tonight!" Darby said excitedly. "If you don't mind us sleeping over tonight, because I know that means we're crashing at your place all week, since we always have Thursday and Friday sleepovers," she winced.

Maya shook her head, laughing off Darby's answer before turning to Riley and raising her slender eyebrows at the brunette.

"Well? What do you think? Should I forgive him, or send him packing?"

"You're asking me?" Riley gasped, showing her shock to everybody around them.

"After what you just did? Riles, it doesn't matter how this mess started. You're a part of the group now," Missy stated.

"We can't cast you aside when you just defended Maya like that. It wouldn't be right. You've officially earned your place," Darby shrugged.

"So? What do you think I should do?" Maya smiled.

"I think….I think that he needs to do something big to prove to you that he's still worth it. And cookies and smoothies aren't going to be enough," Riley shrugged her shoulders, shooting her brother a smug smile.

"You owe me cookies," Darby whined.

"And what do you suppose I do in the meantime?" Maya wondered.

"You're taking a break," Riley stated.

"You're seriously letting her decide?" Josh gasped.

"Josh," Maya said through clenched teeth, turning her attention back towards him. "I'm not breaking up with you. We're not on a break. But, we are strained right now. You are on probation. If you want to go back to how we were before, I need something to big to prove to me you're worth it. If not….well, then we'll have to revisit this topic," Maya shrugged her shoulders innocently before looping her arms through Missy's and Darby's.

Darby looped her arm through Riley's and together the four girls made their way down the hallway, heading towards their first classes, leaving a dumbfounded Josh to stand there, alone in the hallway, surrounded by the rest of their confused and shocked classmates, all wondering the same thing:

What had just happened?

And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises...

When Lucas heard about what had happened that morning, he was pissed.

Not because his plan was now impossible to complete, since Riley's heart had to remain intact now that she was Maya's best friend again.

Instead, he was pissed off because Joshua Matthews had dared to call Maya Hart stupid. He had insulted her and he had insulted her in a public manner. He had threatened to ruin the reputation that Maya had fought so hard to earn.

And that wasn't okay. Not with Lucas, who only ever wanted the absolute happiness for his girl. And no matter what anybody else thought, Maya Hart was his girl. Josh was not deserving of Maya and Lucas's new plan was to make sure that Maya realized that for herself. He just needed to figure out a new plan.

In order to come up with a new plan, though, he needed the master of plan-making. He needed the playmaker. He needed his own best friend, because Zay always knew what to do. Even when things started to stray from his original plan, he was able to piece everything back together and make things fall back into place. He was never a step ahead. Instead, he was always two or three steps ahead of everybody else.

But, before he could even think about coming up with a new plan, he had to deal with something else. He had to go and deal with his anger, before it got completely out of hand. Because, he was so angry that it was impossible for him to even try to think straight. And, there was only one way for him to clear his head when he was like this. He had to give into the anger and get it out of his system.

Which was why, as he passed by Josh in the crowded hallways on his way to third period, he reached out and grabbed his fellow football player, throwing him up against the lockers besides them and holding him there, helplessly, with his hands firmly grasping Josh's wrists, so that he was incapable of doing anything to help himself.

"What the hell, Friar? My day's been shitty enough already. I don't need you're tempter tantrums on top of it all," Josh snapped, rolling his dark eyes at Lucas, once he was able to take in the features of his Texan peer.

"You called her stupid. You insulted her. Nobody does that to Maya," Lucas growled, his voice coming from the back of his throat.

"Is this about Maya? What, this is about your stupid crush on her?"

"Shut up and listen to me," Lucas said, ignoring Josh's taunts.

"Oh, this'll be good," Josh rolled his eyes. "She's never going to pick you. She's never going to love you," Josh informed him.

"Shut up," Lucas said. "You insulted my girl and for some odd reason she thinks you're worth a second chance. So, you know what? You're gonna prove that you're worth it. And, if you don't, this is going to be just a taste of what's to come," he smirked.

"What are you on about?" Josh asked. "I'm not afraid of you, okay? I've never been afraid of you and I'll never be afraid of you. You won't do shit to me, because if she found out that you hurt me, she'd never consider giving you a chance. I'm untouchable, Lucas, because she actually loves me," Josh said, smirking right back.

Lucas knew that he was right. He knew that hurting Josh was going to anger Maya, but he didn't care. He didn't care if it meant losing her for good, because he barely had a chance with her as it was. So, he released one of Josh's wrists and pulled back his fist, bringing it forward to collide with Josh's perfectly shaped jawline, smirking as his lip split open, the blood starting to gush.

And with that, knowing that he had shocked Josh and made sure that Josh really did start to fear him, he released his grip on Josh and smirked, tipping an imaginary cowboy hat at him smugly before he walked away, leaning Josh to stand there with his bloody lip that was sure to swell, trying to figure out how he could have been so wrong about Lucas. But, Lucas didn't care, because he was done with Josh.

At least, he was done with him for the time being. Eventually, he would get back at Josh for lying to Maya about his relationship with Jenkins, but this wasn't the right time and violence wasn't the right way. Instead, he was going to handle that situation a little bit differently. That revenge would have to wait until he had Maya for himself.

Besides, he had done enough damage for one day. Doing anything more would guarantee that Maya would never give him a fair chance. What he had done so far was just enough. He could still talk his way out of that one.

After all, Maya was a sucker for a hero. If she thought that somebody was rushing to her defense, she wouldn't be able to stay mad.

She had never been able to stay mad at Lucas at all, actually. And he loved that fact.

It was that fact that gave him hope.

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kind of boring

"What happened to you?"

Farkle slid into his usual seat in his AP Chemistry class, right besides Smackle at the lab table positioned in the front row on the side of the room farthest from the door. It was the best seat for anybody who actually wanted to learn, because it provided the best view of the board and put them close to the teacher's desk.

The words came out sounding a little bit harsher than he had meant them and he winced at the judgment tainting his tone. He didn't like the way that he sounded and he hated the accusation that came from the tone that he was using. It wasn't right nor was it fair of him to do to her. After all, he wasn't even sure if she was speaking to him, and he was already insulting her.

And there was no reason to be insulting her, because she looked great. She might not be dressed the way that she always dressed, in simple and casual ensembles, but she looked gorgeous all the same. Besides, this outfit showed off her curves and her amazing figure. He wanted her more than he ever had, all because of that stupid outfit.

That was what sparked his anger. The fact that she was dressed like that and he couldn't do anything about all of the other guys at school who were no doubt drooling over her.

He hadn't believed the rumors he had heard earlier that day, about how she had tried to speak to Joshua Matthews and had even dared to attempt flirting with him. He had never imagined that Smackle could be that stupid and he had never thought that she was ever going to run around dressed like that, wanting to talk to a guy like Joshua Matthews. She had never once shown an interest in him before.

Seeing her like this, though, it was obvious that the stories weren't completely false. It was clear that she was doing this for a reason. He wasn't sure what the reason could be, but he believed that it was because she wanted to piss him off over what had happened at the mall the night before.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Smackle glared at him.

"You've been hanging around with Zay and Lucas all day. You're dressing like you belong in Maya's clique. And I've been hearing rumors about you flirting with Josh this morning. What's going on with you?' he asked, softening his tone as he looked at her with concern written all over his face.

"Zay and I hung out last night and we did some talking and I realized that I'm not very happy with the person I've been lately. So, I thought I'd try to be somebody else," She shrugged her shoulders, flipping her glossy black locks over her shoulder.

"You can't just change who you are," Farkle smiled.

"Why not? All of you changed. Why is it wrong for me?" Smackle glared at him.

"I didn't change," Farkle argued.

"Oh yeah? Farkle-time, Donnie Barnes, Regular Guy-any of those guys ring a bell, cause they sure as hell aren't the guy sitting in front of me right now," she rolled her eyes.

"Smackle, I was a kid!"

"Yeah? We'll I'm barely seventeen. I have time to do a little more growing and a hell of a lot more maturing. I'm just trying to find myself, Farkle," Smackle sighed.

"Are you doing this because of what happened at the mall the other night? Because I really am sorry about that. It wasn't because I still have feelings for them. I just…I miss my friendship with them," he ran a hand through his hair.

"I know you do," Smackle sighed. "I'm not mad at you for obsessing over them."

"Then what's all this about?" Farkle wondered, furrowing his eyebrows together with a concerned dip right where they creased together, above the bridge of his nose.

"I want to tell you, Farkle…but I can't," she frowned, lowering her head as she slowly shook it back and forth.

"Why? What could possibly be going on that you can't tell me? I thought we told each other everything?" Farkle reached out, taking her hand in his own.

"Farkle, just understand that everything that I'm doing right now is for you, okay? I'm just trying to help you," She pleaded, flashing him a small smile.

"Okay, okay-just one question?" He raised his eyebrows.

"What?" She sighed.

"Can we go back to that whole making out thing?" he asked, flashing her that sheepish half-grin that he knew never failed to win her over.

She grinned, biting down on her bottom lip as the sparkle returned to her eyes. She leaned in close to him, pressing her lips up against his in a soft, quick little peck before she leaned away, turning forwards in her seat and folding her hands on the desk in front of her, waiting for class to start like the dutiful student that she was.

'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear

Riley couldn't believe the way that her life had seemed to completely change after just one day. It wasn't even a full day. It had all started to change after the morning events involving Maya's clique and Joshua Matthews.

People were noticing her. They were staring at her and they were gossiping about her. She could hear the whispers everywhere she went and, since her schedule didn't line up perfectly with Missy, Darby or Maya's schedule, she couldn't be guaranteed to have company anywhere that she went at school.

The breathing room had been nice, despite the whispers, but it had come with a price. And part of that price had been when Charlie and Sarah had cornered her at her locker after seventh period, before their journalist class together. With their arms crossed and matching, disapproving expressions, it was clear to Riley that they not only agreed on something for the first time ever, but they were both pissed off.

"What's going on with you?" Sarah asked, studying her from head to toe with a disgusted look on her face.

"You've got a makeover and you're yelling at your brother to defend Maya?" Charlie gasped, shaking his head to show just how much he disapproved. "Are you actually doing all of this just to try to win over Lucas?"

"You're better than this. You're not the type of girl to change for a guy," Sarah sighed, running a hand through her hair with concern written all over her face, showing that, no matter what, her friendship with Riley had been real.

It was nice to know that somebody had cared for her, when she was apart from Maya, but it didn't give her the same happiness that having Maya's friendship gave her. She felt guilty for that, but nothing was ever going to compare to Maya's friendship. She needed Maya, because Maya was her missing piece. They completed one another. And if Riley had a chance to have Maya back in her life, she was going to fight for it.

She didn't care what the costs were. Maya was worth it. The people who got hurt in the process were collateral damage and while Riley would always feel bad for having hurt them, she was never going to be able to stop them from getting hurt. If she stopped them from getting hurt, it would mean that she wouldn't get Maya back. And getting Maya back was her priority.

But, how could she ever try to explain to anybody how important her relationship with Maya was? They would laugh at her, pointing out how she had lasted so long without the blonde in her life. How she had deserved Maya's absence after the things she had said to her all those years ago.

"She's Maya," Riley sighed, holding her hands out helplessly. "She's Maya, and she's my best friend. She's always been my best friend. And she's always going to be my best friend. I need her, and this is my chance to get her back. I'm sorry if it hurts you guys, but I can't give this opportunity up. I need my best friend back," she explained.

"Maya's been a bitch to you since freshman year. She's practically ignored your existence. And she flipped out on you at her house two nights ago!" Charlie protested.

"Riley…you know that she has an ulterior motive in this. She doesn't really want to be your friend again. There's more to it than you think," Sarah explained gently. "Don't you get it? This is going to blow up in your face, and when it does, you're going to need us," Sarah reminded her.

"She's not going to hurt me," Riley shook her head.

"Riley, you're not stupid. Why are you acting so stupid?" Charlie snapped.

"You think I'm acting stupid?" Riley frowned.

"You're trusting some girl who treated you like you didn't exist for two years. What do you expect me to think?" Charlie challenged.

"That's enough."

Suddenly, Missy was at Riley's side, swinging her arm around the brunette's shoulders and glaring at the former friend's of the invisible girl. She looked at Riley with a reassuring smile before flashing her a quick wink. Then, she turned her attention back to the other two individuals in the hallway and her fiery rage took over once again, signaling that she was about to begin an ultimate bitch fit.

"I don't care how miserable you guys are. You're not going to try to tear Riley down just because she's found some new friends. None of us want to hurt her. We don't want her heartbroken and we aren't going to cast her aside. We felt bad for being bitches at the party and we wanted to make it up to her. And then she defended one of us like she truly cared about us, and now she's officially a member of our group. Nobody's saying she can't have other friends. You're the ones making her choose," Missy pointed out, crossing her arms over her full chest.

"You're making her change who she is!" Charlie protested.

"Nobody made her do anything. She picked out her own clothes at the mall last night. She picked out her make-up and she picked out a hairstyle. All we did was give her some feedback and advice," Missy rolled her eyes.

"You have every reason in the world to hate Riley after what she posted about you," Sarah pointed out. "So why are you defending her right now?"

"Because I know who gave her all those false leads and I know who encouraged her to write that article," Missy said with a sinister grin on her face, taking a step towards Sarah so that they were face to face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sarah said, head held high.

"Riley told us everything last night. She told us all about how Marley gave her the false leads but you encouraged her to write the articles without fact-checking, because it would be her big break. And you let her take the fall for it. But, that makes sense, because I know a dirty little secret about you that you'd die if Riley found out," Missy said, her voice in a low whisper.

"What's she talking about?" Riley asked, staring between her old friend and her new friend in confusion.

"She's just babbling. She's lying," Sarah insisted.

"Really? So, you're not besties with Marley and you weren't trying to help her ruin Riley's journalist career before it got a chance to start?" Missy asked innocently, taking a step away from the Maya-look-alike.

"She's lying. She's wrong. Sarah, tell me that she's wrong," Riley pleaded, eyes locked on the girl she had trusted with so much for so many years.

"I…Riley, it's not what it-"

"Missy? Can we just head to class now?" Riley asked, turning her back on Sarah and focusing in on Missy.

"Of course," Missy smirked, hooking her arm through Riley's and leading her down the hallway, heading towards the journalist class.

And Riley walked off, into her new life, side by side with her new friend, as she left her old friends behind. As she walked away from the life that she had come to know. Because, that girl was dead and gone. Now, a newer version of Riley was developing and this version wasn't like the middle school Riley who was full of sunshine and sparkles. And she wasn't the invisible girl.

She wasn't sure who she was going to be. All she knew was that she was going to be a better version of herself than either of the former two. It was time for her to truly find herself.