Those Infernal Lemon Drops
Premise (One Shot): Set during fifth year, Harry's figured out where Dumbledore gets his supply of lemon drops from and when they're usually delivered. He conspires with the aid of the Weasley Twins to create "additives" to the original recipe in retaliation for the Headmaster's insistence of ignoring the messy haired boy during the most difficult time of his young life between a sadistic and incompetent DADA teacher (Umbridge), the upcoming OWL tests, his frequent visions of what Voldemort is up to, etc.
AU. No pairings. Fifth year at Hogwarts.
"Hey, Gred? Forge? You got a minute?"
The Weasley Twins looked up and spotted Harry leaning up against the door to their dorm room.
"Sure, Harry. What's up?"
Harry sniffed and let an evil looking smirk grow on his face while a mischievous twinkle appeared in his eyes, "I had an idea for a prank against the Holy Grail of targets, Dumbledore himself."
That got the twins' attention, to date no one had been able to successfully prank the headmaster. Waving Harry further into their room, George pulled out a chair.
"What sort of nefarious plot do you have rattling around in that mind of yours, Harrykins?"
"You know those lemon drops he's so fond of? What if you were to find out when and where they were delivered from? Then once you found out such information, alter the recipe of said drops?"
Equal mischievous twin grins grew on Fred and George's faces.
"Oh? Pray tell, young Harry?"
Harry leaned back smugly in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, "I found out that he gets them from a muggle candy company based in London. Should be a doddle to get down there and tamper with them before they're shipped up to him. I was thinking that we could add some potions to make him experience…alternate realities to the usual tart treats." Harry then reached into his pocket and pulled out a list of ideas and handed it over, "Everyone here knows that you two are the most talented potioneers outside of Snape so these shouldn't be a problem. Everything marked with an "M" are muggle products that could be picked up from any muggle pharmacy."
Looking over the list, the twins' eyes widen then turned back to the smirking raven-haired teen.
"Why do you want to do this, Harry? Something troubling you about our 'illustrious' leader of the light?"
Harry snorted, "Where do I begin? First, he's left me at my aunt and uncle's place all summer and all the years before that when he knew what they're like. Then, he's been ignoring me all year as opposed to the first five years here. Plus, we got Umbridge and I'm pretty sure that Dumbledore could easily step in and curtail some of her more sadistic tendencies yet chooses not to."
The twins glanced at each other and communicated briefly in their patented 'Twin-speak' before turning back and promising Harry to leave to them and they'd handle everything.
Over the next several months…
Albus Dumbledore had been having a rather difficult year. First were the complaints from the students and staff regarding the arrival of Delores Umbridge and her rather draconian methodology of punishments plus her incompetence of teaching. Yes, usage of a Blood Quill was severe and illegal to use outside of special contracts within Gringott's but it did have the unintended benefit of identifying those students whom might present a problem later in life if they went against his plans for the Greater Good.
Then after he received his latest shipment of lemon drops, things and events took a turn for the…unusual. For the first part, the last shipment of his favorite treats came in a bit later than normal. That first week he experienced the rather embarrassing repeating episode of explosive and rather… messy flatulence at inopportune times.
The next week he started experiencing hallucinations of a rather disturbing vision. He kept seeing glimpses of Tom Riddle aka Voldemort amongst the students and staff. Yet, when he went to investigate closer, the wraith disappeared into the crowd. Another hallucination was that of his long-dead sister who would appear in his office or his apartment and accuse him of being her murderer.
Then there was the occurrence where his hair and beard started falling out in clumps. At first, he attributed that to the amount of stress from not only running the school but also coordinating the fight against Voldemort and the Ministry. It had gotten to the point where his glorious beard was just stubble on his chin and even then what did grow was dirty, stringy and straggly. Then mysteriously it cleared up a week later.
The most recent problem arose when he arrived at dinner and couldn't for the life of him explain why every question posed to him, he felt compelled to answer completely and truthfully. The questions grew more and more revealing as those around him started probing deeper into areas best left alone.
'Maybe I ought to seek out Poppy for assistance? Now if only I could remember where the Infirmary was…ooh, look! Shiny!'
In Hogwarts' Infirmary…
"Well, Poppy? Any reason why he decided to stop in and get checked out without the need for someone to drag his carcass in chains?" Amelia Bones, Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement asked the Medi-Witch, "And also why it was necessary for me to get called in?"
The worried look on Poppy's face promised an interesting response, "He'd been potioned with a variety of draughts, concoctions and other manner of reaction inducing ingredients, some of which I'd never seen before."
Amelia's eyebrow quirked up, "What sort of reactions?"
Poppy handed over a list of things she'd discovered:
1) A strong laxative.
2) Veritiserum
3) LSD
4) Befuddlement Draught
5) Calming Draught
6) Confusing Concoction
7) Cannabis
8) Nicotine extract
9) Amortentia
10) A strong Loyalty draught
11) A strong Numbing concoction
12) Unknown substance
"It's that last one that concerns me the most. I've never seen such a confusing blend of ingredients. I think it may be an original creation," Poppy mentioned.
"What does it do?"
"Well…I can't really pin it down. It seems to morph and change the longer it's in his system. It reacts almost like its alive."
Amelia was internally impressed. Whoever did this definitely had some grudge against the headmaster. The list of persons who would have such a grudge was very long; Albus did not endear himself to many people who didn't buy into his vision for the magical world.
The next morning…
Albus woke up surprisingly refreshed and alert. He sat up in bed and looked around, confused as to why he was in the Infirmary. He spotted his glasses and wand laying on the night table along with a folded note. Curious, he put on his glasses and opened the note to read:
Dear Headmaster,
Everything that you've experienced for the past few months is the direct result for your interference in my life and those of my family and friends. I hope you'll take the time to reflect on what has happened and learn from the experience. In the beginning, it was merely a prank but after your refusal to deal with Umbridge, the punishments began. They will restart unless you get rid of the Ministry Toad. I'm tired of being ostracized and vilified by the general population.
Remember, I can get to you when and where you least expect it.
A Hogwarts' student.
A chill settled into his bones and very soul…