Here We Go Again

Chapter 10

2 1/2 years ago

Catherine spent most of her time with her head in the clouds as she bussed tables and took orders. Her avid dreaming would be her demise and her mother made sure she knew of it.

Sure, not much had happened for her since high school, but there were a lot of reasons for that. Catherine blamed it on not having enough money to pursue an higher education. Sending her to university was something her family just couldn't afford. Of course, there were good enough jobs out there that didn't require a degree. But, she also couldn't fathom the idea of being stuck behind a desk all day, everyday of the week. Her constant need to move was something that had actually caused her to struggle during her high school days.

The plain and simple truth was, she just didn't know what to do with her life.

Maybe, that was why Catherine felt a call to adventure as she stared up at the Army Nurse Corps poster in the small mom and pop diner she worked at. Her serving tray was propped up on her hip with an array of dirty napkins and dishes.

Catherine gazed at the poster with mixed feelings. It had been hanging there for about a week now and the woman dressed in uniform, with a perfect lipstick smile had been taunting her. It was fairly easy to sway Catherine into doing something, it was something her boss took advantage of almost daily.

Knowing that about herself, she really did try to ignore the nagging at the back of her mind to at least go see what it was all about. But, after her mother's consistent nagging that morning and all the chatter about war she heard every shift, something snapped.

She looked the perfectly manicured woman in the eyes and let out a breath she had unknowingly been keeping in.

"You have to do this," she muttered to herself as she turned on her foot and hurried towards back to house. On they way, she placed the tray on a random table and untied her apron. Pushing through the back doors she tossed the darn thing on the ground and said, "I'll be back."

"Where do you think you're going?" the cook said looking up from the stove with a spatula in his hand.

Catherine didn't off an answer, but slipped on her jacket. Her determination wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She at least could find out more information. There was no doubt in her mind, however, that if she signed her mother would surely kill her.

"If you leave, don't think you can just come back."

"Fine by me," she said without any real thought. She pushed through the back door into the ally and the cold air. "You can do this," she muttered to herself and without hesitation made her way down to the recruitment office.

"I thought um- Morita was a field medic. I'm sure he can explain this, even better, than I can."

"He doesn't have the same, touch, as you do." Howard interjected shooting her a prized smile. "Go on."

"Well," she began ringing her hands nervously. "um-"

When Howard came into the hospital earlier that morning, asking Cathy for a favor, she hadn't expected this. Yet, here she was and it wasn't fun. Being inside of Howard's workshop for non-work related reasons? Under the scrutiny of not only the colonel, but Howling Commandos AND 'Captain America'? It made for an uneasy feeling. Last time, she was in this type of situation, it lead to less than ideal consequences.

She sighed.

"Well," she said. She scanned the group of men and purposely avoided Monty's gaze. Acknowledging him would only make her more nervous. "This- device is used to help the average field medic dress a wound more swiftly and accurately."

She picked up the device.

"You, uh, press the button on top. As you would a pen and-" gauze flew out the other end when she did so and limply floated to the ground. Catherine pressed her lips together as she stared down at it in a mixture of disappointment and confusion.

"Thank you, Goldie." Howard quickly said clapping a hand on the back of her shoulder and reaching for the pen. In the middle of the device trading hands, the button flew off and was followed with a spring that both barely missed Catherine's face. She jumped back in astonishment.

"Goodness," she let fall from her lips.

"Okay," Howard said uneasily shoving the remnants in his pocket. "So, it needs work."

Catherine slipped out of the room with not much of a word. It seemed like everyday there was some antic that Howard was trying to rope her into. Just the day before, he had come around near the end of her shift and asked if she would try a new liquor. So, he could know how it affected the female body.

The doors leading out of the SSR building were in sight. Relief washed over her as she relished in the thought of putting some distance between her and the government building. Just as she could practically feel the air an all too familiar voice rang out.

"Catherine?"

Monty had made it a point to keep her company as much as he could in the last week. There hadn't been an official date of any sorts, but she was okay with their walks around the camp and the occasional lunch. As much time as they had spent together, he still made her very nervous. Especially, when she stared into those blue eyes of his. Just like she was doing right now.

"Sorry, I just really have to get back," she explained breaking eye contact and looking down. "I'm not even sure anyone knows I left."

"I should hurry back, as well." he said nodding. "But, um- I wanted to talk to you about something."

Those words struck insecurity and anxiousness into Catherine's heart. "Okay," was all she could say as she looked up and searched his face for some sort of hint of what may be coming her way. Sadly, he didn't offer any.

"I'll stop by the hospital later?"

She simply nodded.

"Okay," he nodded as well and offered a small smile. His sober look slipped away and was replaced with- nervousness? Monty faltered for a moment before placing a hand on her shoulder. She swore he was leaning in and her heart quickened, but instead he gave her weak squeeze. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it again. "Until then," he said awkwardly before hesitating again, but ultimately turning and hurrying away.

She was utterly confused and briefly glanced over at the receptionist, who turned back to her work as soon as they met eyes. What just happened?

Catherine feeling more confused than she had when the conversation started, sighed and quickly exited the building.

"Ow," Catherine remarked quickly dropping the sheet in her hand. She mentally cursed herself and huffed. There were just so many things on her mind and the list kept growing.

She hadn't received a letter from home in some time now and if that didn't worry her, it was the lack of sleep she was currently getting. She would just lay awake at night thinking about war and war, and if the end would ever come. That was a popular topic among the nurses at the moment.

Catherine, honestly, didn't know if she really had a home to go back to. Sure, her family wrote her, but the way she parted ways with her mother was less than ideal and sudden. She hated the idea of fighting in any shape or form. She hated the military because of what it had did to her husband and to her, Catherine being a nurse wasn't any different than being a soldier.

Then, there was Falsworth. She had not even an inkling of what he wanted to talk about. She thought they were getting on just fine. Sure, sometimes the conversation lulled, but the silence was comfortable. She had no qualms about him, so far and she thought he would say the same with her. Catherine could admit she did get shy at times, but it was something she couldn't help.

She glanced over at Mary, who was scrubbing the floor. She probably was never shy around Falsworth. Her intentions with the man were pretty clear. Of course, she didn't seem to be bothered at his lack of attention or at least it didn't show.

Catherine felt a pang of jealousy, but then shook her head at that. Monty wasn't that type of person. At least, she believed he wasn't.

"Penny for you thoughts?" Patty asked from beside her, interrupting the inner monologue.

"Oh nothing," Catherine said as she got back to mending the torn sheet. She thought of Patty as a dear friend. However, she feared the Patty would just confirm the worries. That wasn't what the young woman needed because she also knew, Patty was nothing but bluntly honest.

Right now, she needed hope.

Her mind wouldn't stop and after pricking herself once more, Catherine decided to see if she could help somewhere else. Patty gave the brunette a look as she tossed the sheet down and announced she needed a break, but thankfully didn't press for more answers.

Towards the end of her shift, Monty finally walked in with a deep grimace on his face. Catherine's heart dropped because all that hope was starting to disappear.

"Hey," she said offering a warm smile despite her stomach turning on itself inside. "Let me just finish checking up on a few patients." He nodded silently, but didn't offer much else.

When Catherine was twelve, her father made her promise to never kiss a boy she didn't love. Now, that all seemed kind of silly, but growing up she adhered to the promise like her life depended on it. Especially, after he passed away. But, then Johnny rolled into town with a boyish smile and the right charm to match it.

He had a way with words and Catherine could be very easy to persuade.

Monty wasn't anything like him. He was polite, composed, to himself. Each time he took her hand in his, she wondered if the way her fingertips tingled as his brushed against them meant anything. She also wondered if the way her heart fluttered every time he smiled could reveal some underlying health problems she wasn't aware of. Because she had never felt this way before. Not with Johnny, not with the air force man, not with anyone.

She sat on the tree stump and watched him pace back and forth in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Catherine voiced. Monty opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it shut and shook his head.

The pacing continued.

It was making her nervous. She picked at her thumb and waited for the man to speak, grunt, look at her, do something. Anything that would clue her in to this madness. Finally, Monty crouched down in front of her. He gently grabbed her hand and her nervousness increased.

"C-Catherine," he began. He was making it a point to look her in the eyes, but she wouldn't have it. Catherine instead stared at the ground as she racked her mind with possibilities. What could possibly be happening right now?

"James," she answered back. His first name felt weird in her mouth. She didn't mind it, but it wasn't him. It wasn't her Monty.

"We need to talk."

That was all he needed to say to send her heart racing. She had heard enough stories about other women getting their hearts broken to know nothing good could come from needing to talk. Especially, coming from a soldier. She swallowed thickly and pulled her hand out of his grasp.

"Okay," she said standing up and shuffling out of his gaze. Monty stood as well and trailed behind Catherine who went to go lean against a tree. They hadn't even gone a proper date yet. What could have gone so possibly wrong? How could he just walk into her life and then stroll right back out. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

She could feel the tears forming at the corner of her eyes, but she quickly dried them and turned back to him. He looked slightly startled at her spin of the foot, but didn't relent. He grabbed her hand once more and stopped waking towards her only when their faces were inches apart.

"I've been thinking."

"Okay," she nodded looking down at their shoes.

"And this isn't the proper way to do things."

There it was. Her heart busted into a million shattered pieces.

"And I'm sorry I haven't been able to take you out on a proper date by now."

She looked with creased eyebrows. "I'm sorry?" she said in disbelief.

"I said, I'm sorry that-"

"I don't mind," she said cutting him off. Was that really it. She sighed deeply and offered him a small smile. She really didn't mind. If anything, Catherine would've drowned herself in worry and anxiousness of a 'proper' date .

"Well," She felt butterflies from her nose to her toes and it honestly, wasn't half bad. "I'll be leaving soon- tomorrow actually."

"Oh," she let slip out. Catherine was disappointed, but that didn't mean he should know that. "Oh," she repeated as the weight of that set in.

Of course, the last time he left a good month passed. A month of worrying and waiting. A month full of unknowns and honestly, fear. Now, she felt like the stakes were higher.

"How long?" she asked trying to keep a light tone.

"I don't know," he said running his thumb over her knuckles. "It could be long."

"Oh," she said again. "Well-" she paused because the sadness that she felt threatened to show in tear form. She swallowed the lump in her throat and though of something to say. "Well."

"When I come back," Monty said slowly. He creased his eyebrows together and slipped his free hand into his pant pocket. "I am going to take you on a proper date."

Monty looked up for the first time, since the conversation turned and she regretfully couldn't meet his eyes.

Catherine nodded and offered a wavering smile. "We can go to the pictures," she suggested. "Or dancing."

"Out for dinner," he replied taking a step closer. "Anywhere you'd like."

"Okay," she nodded.

Of course, they dared not to speak the obvious. There was no guarantee that they would have a chance to do any of that.

"Okay." Monty hesitated for a moment before leaning in and placing a peck on her cheek. His mustache tickled a bit and his lips were slightly chapped, but she didn't mind. Who had time to worry about chapped lips? She didn't really know what to do and when he pulled away, she only hoped her face wasn't as red as she felt it was.

She couldn't sleep after their conversation. She laid in bed with just him occupying her thoughts. They hadn't had much time for anything grow. She didn't want to even consider him not coming back. The only thing Catherine had to hold onto was blind faith.

Everything was going to be okay.

She didn't know for sure, but she wasn't going to accept anything else. When the early rays of light finally came, Catherine slipped out of bed and began to get ready. There wasn't an actual plan set out, but she was set on seeing Monty before he left. She hurried out of the barracks and to the other side of camp, where the team was supposed to be.

Peggy was the first person to see Catherine. She was with Steve. The two were off to the side and a good way from the group.

"Nurse Goldie?"

Catherine was very unsure. What exactly had she planned on achieving or even doing?

She looked past Peggy and focused her attention on Falsworth who was helping Dugan load the truck.

"Um- sorry. I didn't want to intrude," she said offering a smile and brushing past the two. "Monty?" she called out as she neared the rest.

The men paused and looked at the nurse in mild shock. It wasn't hard to miss the evident smirk on Denier's face as he elbowed Bucky, who had his own sly grin.

"Cath-"

There really was no thought put into it. She made herself just go for it because otherwise it would be overthought and ultimately wouldn't happen.

She cut the soldier off by storming up, promptly grabbing his collar and pulling him down to her. He took no time to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her into the kiss.

It was nothing like Johnny's or the air force man's. It was better, way better.

"Um- be safe," she said after pulling away. Her face was on fire. "All of you," she added quickly.

Monty took a few to catch his breath and gather his wits. The look on his face made her squirm a bit. It was partly unrecognizable and partly shocked. She placed a kiss on his cheek before turning and hurrying off before she could think even more.

Falsworth really wished he could've slept more. His mind, however, had kept him up for most of the night. Before dawn could even break, Bucky was poking his head in each tent and making sure everyone knew it was time to wake up.

"Falsworth couldn't keep still half the night," Morita grumbled as the crew got together their things. "I'm a light sleeper."

"That's bullshit," Gabe said with a chuckle. "You slept through us nearly getting ambushed that one time."

"Or when Dugan nearly shot his own hat off," Bucky said.

"How about-"

"It's situational," Morita said cutting them off. Everyone responded with a chuckle or smart comment. "Whatever," he said shaking his head.

Falsworth was filled with dread as they started to pack to truck. He was so tired of fighting, just like everyone else. There really was no hope and everything he used to think about to keep him going? It seemed like a distant memory or at most a different world. His normal used to be a manor. Now, it was a thin tent, dirt, blood and helplessness.

"Monty."

It almost sounded like an angel bringing him out of his head. "Looks like you've got a send off," Bucky remarked smartly.

Falsworth briefly threw the sniper a dirty look before turning to see Catherine. He could barely get her name out, before the woman charged at him, with a look of blatant determination in her eyes. He was almost scared when she grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her.

It all happened so quickly and as he watched her hurry away with a scarlet red face, something he hadn't felt in a long time surfaced. He ignored the howling and whistling the other men started as soon as she was out of sight and focused on loading the truck, quickly.

"What's the rush, Falsworth?" Dugan asked with a little too much amusement.

"Guess you should probably kiss Steve goodbye now, Agent Carter." Bucky said as a matter of factly before quickly climbing into the front seat of the truck to escape any scrutiny his comment brought.

"Let's get this over with," Monty said trying to contain his smile. "I have a date."

A/N: Wow! It has been a really long time! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will definitely be updating sooner. Don't forget to leave a review!