Chapter 10 A Thousand Fears

I shake my head,

"I'm done with this conversation Ivashkov."

"But I'm just getting started Sage, maybe I can reason this nonsense out of you." He says.

"You think my beliefs are nonsense?" I say angry and insulted. What else should I expect from a vampire? I ask myself. He seems to realize that he's gone too far because, suddenly contrite he says,

"Sorry, It's just I know that it's not you talking. That's what's nonsense. Although for what it's worth I am not an evil creature of the night; just a slightly crazy party boy who fell in love with Sydney Sage. "

"You did not fall in love me." I say fiercely.

"Don't tell me what I feel." He warns.

"Fine, you can delude yourself all you want. Humans and Moroi are not compatible. There was a reason I wasn't coming back to Palm Springs. Your attitude makes me uncomfortable." I say.

"Well then we're at a stalemate, you know how I feel and vise versa. Nothing is going to change that anytime soon."

"If you already know that then what do you want from me?" I ask extremely frustrated.

"I don't know." He admits.

"We're home." Belikov announces from the driver's seat. Up until now I haven't been paying attention to my surroundings, or I would have noticed the familiar city of Palm Springs, we just pulled into the driveway to Clarence Donahue's house. The dhampirs watch me closely as I get out of the van, but I have lost all will to fight. My shoulders sag in defeat as I enter the house where it all began. Before I get more than a few feet into the house Princess Jillian flings herself onto me, pulling me into a suffocating hug. I freeze but she doesn't seem to notice because when she finally lets me go she rambles on and on, I only really pay attention when she says,

"And I think I figured out the thing with your blood. It has magic in it right?

"What do you mean?" I ask, startled.

"Well, your magic's a little different than ours but the principal is the same I think. The stakes kill Strogoi because it has all four physical elements in it, your blood had all four elements in it too, and that's why the Strogoi couldn't drink it. It would have been like drinking a liquid stake. But the Moroi could drink it because at the time your magic was being drained right? Since that is stopped we wouldn't be able to drink it either because stakes hurt us not as much as Strogoi but it still hurts." Jillian explains. I don't respond for a second as I let what she has just told me sink in. I try not to think about the Moroi drinking part or even the vampiric presence in the room. Logically what Jillian said makes sense. If it's true or not is unverified but it is a sound theory.

"That makes sense." I admit reluctantly. I don't what to think about my ability to do magic, it is wrong, but… If it offers some form of protection it could be useful, even if I don't actually touch the magic.

"Really? It was just an idea I had, I wasn't even sure if it made any sense." She exclaims happily.

"Leave it to Jailbait to bring Sage back, even if it is just for a moment." Ivashkov comments. I shoot him a glare. For some reason this reminds me of the first time I was in this house, Adrian opened the door and messed around with Keith. Despite my own unease at the time it is a found memory, I hate Keith; he is a monster, human but a monster. This makes e angry at myself, why should I be on the vampire's side. No matter what I should side with the human, even if it's Keith. Not having any idea of m thoughts Jillian goes on, informing me that the Alchemists have moved them into Clarence's temporarily until them and the guardians can agree on a safe place for them to go.

"Don't even think about it Sage. You are not going back with them." Ivashkov warns."They got to her." He informs the princess.

"Oh, are you okay?" She asks. Her concern confuses me. Why does she even care? Or maybe she doesn't and is just pretending. I don't know.

I just nod and try to keep my thoughts to myself.

"Well I'm glad your back Sydney." She says. As she does I get just the barest glimpse of fang, monster. Fear fills me once again. I am in a house full of vampires, vampires that have compelled me before and will probably try again. I hate it when they make me forget where I am, who I am with.

"Well can I get you anything to eat? Coffee's a given, It's already ready." She says pleasantly.

"Just coffee please. I was actually hungry but I lost my appetite the moment the vampires walked into the room back at the Re-education center.

"Well come on!" She moves to grab my hand I think but decides against it and brushes by me to the kitchen. I follow and so does the rest of the group.

When we get to the kitchen the coffee is indeed ready, I pour myself a cup and fix it the way I like it, watching as the others do the same. They chatter amongst themselves which is fine by me, I watch Zeklos and Conta with particular interest. There is something about the way they act that is familiar, but I can't quiet pinpoint it. They hold hands and smile as they converse, in their own little world. They are as clearly in love as Rose and Dimitri are, but that's not what I notice there is something more to them. What is it?

Seeing their obvious affection reminds me of Ivashkov claim, he thinks he loves me. That can't be true. He has to just be fooling himself like he did with Rose. I can't let his delusion affect my actions like it did last time. I actually believed I loved him. I don't but that scares me that he could make he think I did. I realize something else, despite being in a full room I a lonely, the vampires have all partnered up, Zeklos and Conta, Hathaway and Belikov, Castile and Dawes, even Ivashkov and Jillian. I am lonely. For some reason this hits me hard. I want company I can talk to, my family, humans, anyone. I rush out of the room blinking back tears. I wander the huge house aimlessly thinking of my family and home. Carly, Zoe, Mom, even Dad would all be welcome right now, just something to tell me I'm not alone.

Miserable and with tears flowing down my cheeks I find a place to hide, an unused room far away from the others. I'm scared, for myself and for my family. Did the Alchemists make Zoe one of them? Am I too late to save her? Are they looking for me? Are they not? All my worries and fears force themselves into my mind, I cry for I don't know how long. I cry until I have no tears left. Just as everything was coming back to under my control It fell apart again. I stay in my hiding place for hours, almost falling asleep before one of them opens the door. It is not who I expected at all. I expected Ivashkov, with his love claim and all. Instead it's the person I know the least, whom I met for the first time in person today, spirit using Moroi Danny Conta.

I hope you liked this chapter. It will be interesting to see what happens next. Oh and if anyone can figure out what is going on between Deka and Danny I'll mention you in the next chapter. I'm not sure when I'll post the next chapter it being the holidays and what not. Plus play practice starts the 27th so I'll be pretty busy. Just in case I don't post before then Merry Christmas! And happy New Years (Just to be safe, I hope to have posted again by then.) As always please review I love hearing what you have to say.

-Runnergirl33