Author's Note
I apologize to all my readers when I say that this isn't a Remus/Tonks chapter. Those expecting a happy date chapter will be disappointed this one time, but I just need to write this out, because if I don't, it will eat away at me and my writing will be further impacted. So I ask you all to please be patient and allow me to tell my story.
I have grown up with Harry Potter. When the first book came out, I was 12 years old. I was an awkward, unpopular boy in a school that, despite its religious overtones, was dominated by cliques that I would never be a part of. I found Harry Potter and I was able to instantly relate, wishing upon all else that I could be whisked to a magical place – that I could be a wizard and go somewhere I would be accepted. However, at that age I knew it was impossible to achieve such a dream, and that I would just have to settle for my imagination, aided by Jo.
So, when I say that I've grown up with Harry, it's not overstating the truth. I waited in long lines at the midnight releases of the books, being a part of the swarming mob as the books were lowered from a palate. I went to every movie to see exactly how the films would differ from the books. Sometimes I would be disappointed, but the dominant feeling was the childlike wonder as the story came to life.
Somewhere along the way, before Deathly Hallows came out, I became a Lupin/Tonks shipper. I associated myself with Lupin in so many ways. I was always the outcast, burned by bad experiences with my peers. I was thoughtful, intelligent, and I definitely had my share of flaws. I sought for someone who could be my Tonks, the vibrant, lively character that could make all negative feelings go away. Eventually I found that person, and I can say that I'm definitely happier than I ever was as a child growing up.
But now that the final movie has been released and Harry's adventures have officially come to a close, and I feel empty for it. I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but it feels like a big chunk of my childhood has been wrenched from me. I feel like the magic has been forcibly taken from my life, and now I need to grow up and stop believing in such things.
So I'm not sure where this belongs, as a rant or a request or a plea. I just ask you all, the Remus/Tonks shippers, the people following my stories, or even just those who have stumbled across this, to please hold onto the magic in your life. I don't fear growing up, but I want to hold onto my inner child so badly, and it feels that it's becoming more and more impossible. All I desire at this moment is a happy story of love and hope – just one happy memory so that maybe I can produce a corporeal Patronus just one last time.
We are the molders of dreams. Please don't let the magic die.