Notes up here to not ruin the feel of the chapter! This is where the M rating is earned so be forewarned. Also, I desire reviews! Further chapters will be postponed until more reviews are given! :-) And finally, the title is from Desire's section of Endless Nights. (If you have not read Sandman you must!)

Chapter 10: Like a Blazing Bonfire

November was waiting when Albus entered 12 Grimmauld Place.
"Headmaster? May I have a word?"

"I have long since been your headmaster, my dear," he replied, smiling gently at her. "But of course you may."

The pair walked quickly up to the library and November, sparing no detail, began to explain what had happened at the ball.

Lupin had known he was in trouble the minute the door closed to the library. He had been behind a stack of books and the longer he waited the more awkward he knew his presence would be. And then there was also the revelation that Lucius had real interest in 'Helena.' Remus' attention was caught and what followed was even more valuable to him.

"Albus, I would like to end this but I do not know how. It seems that everything has come to a central point and that to pull out now would only endanger Severus, whom we need most of all and whom I have no desire to harm. Do you have any advice for me?"

Remus could have sworn Dumbledore looked directly at him but it was to quick to tell.

"I have a question, dear November, that I would like you to consider."

"Yes?"

"Are you sure this has no connection to anything else in your life? I do not argue with any point you have raised and indeed if I believed we could disentangle you from Lucius Malfoy I would do so. However, there may be a path to finding what you actually desire."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't understand you."

"Remus–"

"Made it clear quite some time ago that there was no possibility."

"Surely you do not believe that?"

There was a long silence and Remus began to believe they had left when he finally heard November break the silence.

"But I've ruined it. How could I ask him to take me now?"

Dumbledore rested a hand on her shoulder. "That you must ask him, dear. I'll join you in a moment. Go on and let the others know about Severus' information."

The door to the library closed and Remus waited. When he stood he found himself face to face with Albus.

"I do trust that you will use what you have learned for the best, Professor Lupin?"

"Of course, sir."

Blue eyes twinkled behind half-moon glasses. "I would hope so."

November had finish recounting Severus' information to the Order when Lupin decided it would be a surreptitious time to slip into the room. Sirius waved him over to a spot by him and as he sat Moody was questioning November.

"Now," Alastor's magical eye stood still, focused on her, "if it is as you say, surely Titus would have given you the object before he died. Or mentioned some such thing to you."

November explained that she had tried everything she could think of and no memory came to mind. Titus had only bought a few things of great cost in their time together and charms revealed none of them were spelled.

"Well, damn," the older man thumped his stick against the floor and November could not help but smile.

"No kidding, Alastor. Still, I'll keep working on it. You never know."

The conversation changed over to a situation out in the country. There had been Death Eater activity on one of the heaths outside the city and it was suspected that the Death Eaters were working on recruiting magical creatures. Order members were needed to stake out in a house on the heath for a few days in the coming week.

The meeting adjourned for food and Sirius managed to catch Dumbledore's eye. The two men met in the entryway, with Albus wearing a wry smile.

"And how my I help you, Sirius?"

"You have to assign November and Remus to that house."

Albus gave him a mock-surprised look. "And why them, Mr. Black?"
"They will never deal with what we can all see as long as I'm here or there is somewhere else they can hide."

Dumbledore smiled at the protective tone in Sirius' voice. "Are you asking me to interfere in other's personal affairs?"

"Why would I even dream of asking you to isolate two people who clearly have some issues to sort out and are driving me ABSOLUETLY mad?" Sirius exclaimed sarcastically.

An outright smile broke across Dumbledore's face. Without a word he turned and walked back to the group. Some time after Sirius had snuck back into the room, it was announced that Remus and November would be stationed on the heath. It was the most convenient and it would put space between November and Lucius for the time being.

Molly read the expression on November's face expertly. "November dear, why don't you take this through to the kitchen."

The younger woman quickly took the proffered dish and scooted into the kitchen. Remus watched her for a moment before exiting through the hall.

November was working on a glass of fire whisky when Remus appeared.

"Stiff drink for dinner."

"Trying to get my head to shut up."

He smiled a bit sadly at her. "Does it work?"

"On occasion."

Gently taking the glass from her he downed the rest of it in one draw and smiled at her sheepishly. "Here's to shutting up noisy thoughts."

She grinned at him and he leaned against the counter next to her.

"Does it bother you?" he asked quietly. "The 'stake out?'"

"Did you ask him to do that?"

He met her eyes evenly. "No. You?"

"No."

There was silence between them and November stared off at the dining room door. On the other side, Sirius' barking laugh rang out. In an instant it both occurred to them who was responsible.

"Padfoot," murmured November with a laugh.

"I can talk to him. I can tell him –"

"Don't," she interrupted softly. Her hand rested on his. "I don't mind."

Remus looked into her face with a clear look that gave away no emotion.

"If there's anyone I have to be cooped up with for a week in the middle of nowhere, I'd rather it be you than anyone else." His voice was mellow and joking but the sentence ended with a serious undertone. November looked away, smiling. "We should get back to the others."

She nodded and they left together.

"Oh wow…" November didn't try to hide her surprise at the smallness of the farmhouse they were to stay in. She let go of the Portkey, a beaten umbrella, and hiked her backpack up further on her shoulders.

"Indeed. But it's quaint," joked Remus.

"Not exactly my first choice for the first place to live in after the Black Home. But it is better than the Black Home."

Remus nodded and the two of them closed the distance between them and the house. When they began to explore it they found that the bathroom had no door (though mercifully the loo did), the water came from a well next to the house, there was one bedroom with one bed, and there was no electricity.

"I thought of that," November began, reaching into her bag. She pulled out a bundle of firewood, and Remus knew he shouldn't be surprised even though he was.

They were able to build a fire quickly, which was fortunate as the winter evening was darkening already. Mercifully, there was food in the icebox and pantry for them, as well as a gas stove.

"Here, can you peel potatoes?" November pulled out a sack of golden skinned potatoes and rummaged in a drawer before producing a peeler.

"But of course."

The pair hung up their robes on hooks in the hall, and rolling up their sleeves began to cook together. It was hardly the first time this had happened, but now, alone with their feelings and each other, it took on a different tone altogether. It was more intimate and more personal.

The evening was spent in idle chitchat before Remus inevitably produced a book and November began to work on a charm that would allow her to change hair color much faster and with less concentration.

"What are you reading?" she asked, pointing her wand dramatically at her temple.

"The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Muggle book."

"How does it read?"

"Philosophical but very accessible."

"Read it out loud?"

Her voice was so pleading that it was obvious she had no interest in what she was starting on. He could not help but agree.

Over the pages of his book he could see her hair, flashing red and then slowly growing back to the rich brown. It seemed as if the color was actually leaking out of the ends of her hair and Remus almost expected to see a pool of red around her. It was immensely clear that her heart was not in her magic.

"I quit!" November announced half an hour later. "I hate him and I'm tired of thinking about him!"

Her words were fierce and she threw her wand blindly. Remus was lucky enough to deflect the projectile it without breaking it using his book as a shield. She apologized profusely and gathered her wand back up as she joined him on the couch.

"Here," she held out her hand. "Let me."

"You don't have to. You're–"

She stopped him by giving him a look and he handed her the book. "I just don't want to think right now and this book is interesting. Indulge me."

"If you insist."

A blush spread across her cheeks at the tone of voice included in that comment but it was mostly hidden in the low light. "Here. You're always supporting my dead weight."

She scooted to one end of the couch and leaned his head against her leg. Absently she brushed hair out of his face and his eyes locked with hers. Everything seemed to melt around them. Picking up the book she began to read aloud.

It was some time before she realized that Remus had not stirred in ages. Looking down it was clear why. He was dead asleep. She suppressed a giggle and closed the book. He was so very handsome and the dying fire accented his jaw, his salt and pepper hair, and his scars. November absently traced one with her fingertip but she jumped when his hand closed around hers.

"Sorry."

"Not at all," he mumbled sleepily. "I've always enjoyed your touch."

Her stomach flipped and she gently stood, lowering his head on the couch. With a wave she began to levitate him off of the couch.

"Put me down."

It was a direct command and it was clearer than his first comment had been. She lowered him back on the couch.

"But why? The couch is uncomfortable."

"Which is why you will be in the bed and I will be on the couch."

"But your old bones might not be able to handle it."

"Do not put me in that bed unless you intend on joining me in it." For the first time his eyes opened and they focused clearly on her. It was one-third challenge, one-third request, and one-third declaration.

November's heart was pounding loudly, so loudly she would have sworn Remus could hear it.

"Very well."

Her words were soft but he heard them with perfect clarity. A thrill raced through him; that was not what he had expected. Rising slowly, he followed November at a short distance to the one bed in the house. It was large, gleaming brass with thick blue quilts.

Standing with her back to him, November slowly pulled off her sweater, leaving on her tanktop underneath. Remus followed suit by also shedding a layer, letting his sweater drop to the floor quietly. She then slipped out of her jeans, quietly pulling on pajama pants. Remus checked his conscious by telling it that if she did not want him to see her fine legs she would not show them to him like this; it wasn't as if this were the first time he had ever seen them anyway. November remained facing away from Remus as she pulled her hair up in a loose ponytail but she was very aware of the sound of him undressing and dressing in pajamas as well. The question 'what are you doing?' flashed through her mind but she stuffed it away; she didn't care what she was doing, she just wanted to be doing something.

As they faced each other the heat increased. November could read the desire clearly on his face and she wanted him badly. But she wanted more than sex from him as well and he had always played those cards so close to his chest that she no longer knew how he felt.

"Shall we?"

Remus was following her lead and slipped into the cozy bed after her. He was surprised to feel her pull him close to her, fitting his body against her in the same S-curved shape. Her exposed shoulders and back pressed against his naked torso and she wrapped his arms around her waist.

November could feel his heart pounding as his arms held her tightly to him and a flash of daring ignited her. She turned her face to his.

"A goodnight kiss…"

She pressed her lips to his own dry lips. Remus was momentarily frozen by delight and surprise. However, he quickly unfroze, kissing her back. Their passion flared and only after realizing Remus was effectively on top of her did November's better sense kick in.

She did not want it like this, as if it were some one-night-stand with neither parties sure where the other stood or what would come next. With all of the will power within her, November pulled away.

"Goodnight."

Remus' eyes reflected his confusion as he gently slid back onto his side. He watched as she rolled over, facing away from him and tucking the covers close around her. She did not ask him to leave and he felt no pressure from her to do so, so he quietly settled in for sleep. His mind absently felt around for the cause of her distance.

Clearly they desired each other. Every flaming instinct in his body told him that. But what was she waiting for? After all, he loved her and –

He jolted awake suddenly. He had never told her that. Never once had he ever told her he loved her. He had indicated it in a thousand different ways but he had never, ever told her…He kicked himself inwardly as he thought more about this. If November wanted sex, it was readily available to her in the form of Lucius Malfoy, a much more attractive and wealthy wizard than himself. But that wasn't what she wanted; she wanted Remus and she wanted his love.

And though he was furious at the doubt his own insecurity had planted in her mind, this realization filled him and he drifted off to sleep.

Remus awoke, stiff and feeling older than ever. But a wonderful smell was somewhere nearby and his stomach growled loudly. He opened his golden eyes slowly and found November's face inches from his own.

"Merlin's Beard!" he yelled, jerking away from her wildly, arms flailing.

Her laugh rang out and he could not help but smile. It had been a while since she had laughed like that and he was suddenly glad they were in this tiny cottage.

"You can't do that to me, 'Vember. I'm too old and you'll give me a heart attack."

"On the contrary, I am strengthening your heart." She was grinning at him and then walked from the room to the kitchen. "Just wait there and I'll be back."

He calmed his heartbeat, still smiling when she returned. She brought in two plates of food – bacon, eggs, and toast – and silently levitated his legs. He gave her an impressed look. She had been working on wandless magic ever since the fall and she was much better at it. She sat on the bed, leaning against the wall, and let his legs fall across her lap before handing him his plate.
"Breakfast in bed," she explained, cheerfully. November rested her plate on his legs and happily began to eat. Remus watched her, only half noticing his food. Everything felt in place right now. The two of them curled up together. November smiling and laughing again.

November started when she realized he was staring at her. "Everything okay?"

"Oh! Yes! Sorry. I was…distracted."

"My apologies. I know I'm rather terrifying," she teased. "I'll shower soon enough and then you can get ready as well. We need to walk the perimeter today so I thought we should get going early."

"But of course." Remus smiled and began to eat, trying to focus on the reason they were even here.

After dishes had been done and put away, November hurried off for a shower. They had agreed to try and give as much privacy as possible and so Remus settled into the couch with his book.

"Um, Remus…" November's voice had a nervous tone to it.

Remus looked up from the couch. He could see clearly into the bathroom from where he sat. It had a large clawfoot tub and he noticed instantly what the problem was. The only shower curtain they had was opaque.

November looked at him, then back at the curtain, then back at him. "I suppose you'll just have to look somewhere else. Sorry."

"Not at all."

Blushing, she stepped into the tub, pulling the curtain closed around her. Remus was good at first. He dutifully stared at his book, though the sounds of her undressing were driving him wild. The problem came when he looked up to check the time.

Her figure was blurred but he could still see the lovely shape of her body, more than he had seen the night before. Her dark hair cascading down her back and dripping with water. Her long legs and thin torso. Her breasts… He knew he should look away but it was entrancing to watch her. The shower shut off and he jumped, grabbing his book and holding it in front of his face. After a minute he realized it was upside down and flipped it quickly.

"I'm coming out. I'll just run into the bedroom, okay?"

"Of course."

He heard her pad by on bare feet and he allowed himself to look around. No sight of her. With an inward sigh of disappointment, he moved to the bathroom and began to undress for his own shower.

November had finished drying her hair and pocketed her wand. The house was warmer now that they had kept the fires going consistently. She was busy in her own thoughts when she found herself passing by the bathroom. She had only meant to peek but she was soon staring.

She had always known Remus was thin, but even through the curtain she could see that he was lean and muscular. His shaggy hair was plastered to his head and his back was to her. His thighs were tight and she could make out several scars running across his back. She drank in the blurred sight of his naked skin, rippling and sleek with water.

He began to turn to wash the shampoo out of his hair and she darted away quickly, blushing deeply.

It was night before the smallness of their current living space began to really get to November.

"I'm going to loose my mind," she groaned loudly, falling over dramatically on the floor where she sat. "Is there truly nothing to do in here?"

"Do not tell me you forgot to bring your board games," Lupin drawled. A pen smacked him in the face and he stuck his tongue out at her playfully. "I did notice a large storage space off of the bedroom."

"Perfect! Let's explore!"

Before he knew it Lupin was being dragged through the house and into the walk-in closet.

"Wow…" November breathed, looking at all of the boxes in the space. Half of them were labels Christmas or decorations but one thing in particular quickly caught November's attention.

"Hold me up!"

Obediently, Remus lifted November high enough for her to reach the top shelf. She became suddenly heavier and he put her down quickly. "What on earth–?"

"A Muggle radio!" November quickly heaved the large contraption off into the living room, placing it by the fire. She murmured a charm at it and it snapped to life, playing the station it had been set to last, with the added crackle of static.

Piano greeted them and a wave of impulsivity washed over Lupin. With an exaggerated bow he held his hand out to November.

"Would the lady dance?" November looked hesitant and so he persisted. "You did say you were bored."

"Alright," she whispered, her long hand slipping into his easily.

You've been on my mind

I grow colder every day

Lose myself in time just thinking of your face

God only knows why it's taken me so long

To let my doubts go you're the only one that I want

Remus held her close and November rested her head on his shoulder. The song was slow and they danced slowly through the small living room. She breathed in the scent of books and soap and coffee and he breathed in the clear smell of citrus and soft skin. They knew the feel of each other's bodies well and yet there was so much more to learn.

I don't know why I'm scared

I've been here before

Every feeling every word

I've imagined it all

Dramatically, Remus spun her out and she laughed. She spun back into his arms, playfully swishing her hair around him. Her off-the-shoulder sweater was getting away from her and refusing to cooperate. She glowered at it and Remus took his opportunity. Carefully, his hand slipped under the sweater and he lifted it slowly over her head. With this move the tone of the dance changed dramatically. His lips brushed her shoulders and neck before she pulled off his sweater as well, tossing it aside.

I dare you to let me be your one and only

Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms

So come on and give me a chance

To prove that I'm the one that can

Walk that mile until the air stops

Remus sighed into November's shoulder as she kissed his neck. Her tongue teased playfully at his ear and his spine went ramrod straight, gripping her to him ardently.

Their eyes locked and each seemed to stop breathing. Slowly the song and their dance drew to a close around them. With a flick, Remus silenced the radio before some other song would jar them out of the current mood. November's heart was racing and she knew with certainty that Remus would kiss her now. But even after all of this time she doubted he knew what he wanted.

"Remus–"

The questioning, hesitant tone in her voice frustrated him the perfect amount. He had long needed some outside push into honesty and now he reacted.

"November, I love you!" It had come out louder than he had meant but her face showed she understood the sincerity of his words. "I have always loved you and I have been a terrible coward. But I cannot pretend any longer."

He reached out and took her face in his hands. The air seemed to be charged with electricity.

"And I know you love me too," he whispered.

Their lips met, a long sweet melting kiss. But there was far too much that had been put off for far too long for it to remain simply a kiss. Their lust intensified quickly and the couple grasped at each other, breathing heavily as their tongues tangled sweetly.

Remus held her tightly around the waist and with one hand behind her neck as she twined her fingers through his thick hair. Urgently he pulled her tanktop over her head, throwing it aside as their skin pressed together again.

They moved throughout the cottage, working their way back toward the bed they had shared.

Silence fell around them and they worked to catch their breath. Their eyes met and a glowy smile grew across November's face. Remus knew he looked like a fool but he could not stop the hazy grin he wore.

From the other room, a ticking clock could be heard.

Remus opened his mouth to speak but November covered it with her hand, smiling but indicating no desire to talk. She left the bedroom and moments later he heard the shower running. He followed her and stepped into the huge tub with her. Water had already soaked her hair and she turned her back to him. Understanding the silent request, Remus worked some shampoo through her hair and after the suds were washed out she did the same for him. Silently, she placed charms across his scratched up back, not healing them entirely but lifting the pain; if he had to wear scars let them be left from her in passion.

The pair dried themselves before November took Remus by the hand. Without words, she led him back to their bed and, climbing in after him, curled up to him, bending their bodies in the shape of an S.

With a giddy smile and his arms around the woman he loved, Remus Lupin drifted into sleep.