Daryl Dixon had never been one to interact with kids, but lately they seemed to be pushing themselves on him. He was taking his frustrations out on the walker on the fence, a section that they hadn't built up yet, when Lizzie had appeared with a grim look on her face.
"I need to talk to you." She told him. He plunged a knife into a walker's head and was pleasantly surprised as blood spurted out from the wound before it fell to the ground. He waited for her to cry out, but she stood there. Her frown tightened, but that was her only response. He felt somehow disappointed. He didn't want to talk to her. "Daryl?" She was impatiently waiting for some sort of response.
"I'm busy." He replied shortly. She huffed in an unimpressed way. He looked over at her and she rolled her eyes. Preteen angst was rolling off of her.
"Let me help then asshole." She said and held her hand out patiently. This was a surprise. He handed her a smaller knife that he had on him from this morning and she grasped it firmly. She only shuddered slightly as she plunged it into the nearest walker's head.
"I'll help you kill them and you'll have a conversation with me. Deal?" Her eyes met his steadily and he nodded. It was an interesting proposition and he wanted to see how far she had come.
The slim girl moved to the next walker and dispatched it with only a slight flinch. He turned his attention back to the fence.
"We need to talk about Beth." She said and he grunted. He didn't want to. These little girls were more annoying than he had initially anticipated.
"What about her?"
"What happened the night you stopped sleeping in the room?" Lizzie asked. He hadn't thought about how the little girls would interpret the change. Of course they would be suspicious.
"Nothin'" He growled at her and stabbed violently at the next walker in the line. Lizzie paused on the fence line and turned to him.
"Really? Because the first night she just went to sleep, but the next night we heard her crying as she was rocking Judith to sleep." Her face was firm. She wanted an answer. He felt his heart sink.
"She knows you're just outside you know. She looks over at the door every night as she's putting us in bed." Daryl sighed. He didn't need more reasons to feel bad about that night with Beth. He already had more than enough.
"You and your sister need to stop talking to me about this." He was serious but she laughed humorlessly.
"We just care about Beth. We know you do too. She deserves to be happy in every way possible." Her eyes met his with intensity. She was expecting something from him.
"Then she should look somewhere else." Daryl know his voice was coming out harsh but the girl didn't show any indication that she noticed. She looked at the fence. A walker was pressed up against it, mouth snapping.
"I used to think that the change between being a human and a walker was like the change between being a kid and an adult. I realize now that it isn't." She looked at him expectantly but he had no idea where she was going with the statement so he waited for her to continue.
"I realize now that growing up you change, but those changes are your own choice. You have a choice about what you want to do and how you act. You make those choice off of what you've been through and the people in your life." She looked at the knife in her hand.
"When you die and become one of these things you don't have a choice. You have to do what it tells you to do. If you are alive and you let your past effect what you're doing that's human, but if you let it take away your choices... you're no better than them." She stabbed the walker. This time she didn't falter. It was smooth and careful and the body fell with a moan.
He knew what she was saying but she didn't know what she was asking him to do. He couldn't be the person he wanted to be. If that made him like them then that was what he was.
"She told me." He was startled and he looked at her in question. The girl raised her eyebrows at him. She knew they had kissed. He felt heat on his cheeks.
"Didn't mean anything." He told her swiping the little knife out of her hand.
"Did so. At least to her." she insisted her voice laced with frustration, "God, boys are so stupid." And with that she walked away. He felt slightly upset that she had robbed him of the opportunity to tell her to leave.
He had to put it out of his mind. This whole thing was crazy and strange and completely not him. He didn't do kids, feelings, Beth. He didn't do any of it. And it was for good reason. At least that's what he tried to convince himself, but he couldn't get her words out of his head.
That was the reason he entered the room for the first time in weeks later that night. Everyone was asleep and only the couch was unoccupied but he knew i would feel better than the floor he had been sleeping. He put his stuff down as quietly as he could but he heard Beth shift on her cot. Her blonde hair picked up what little light there was in the room and shimmered as she lifted her head to look at him.
"Daryl?" She was tired. Her voice was rough with tiredness and he had to stop himself from leaving at the sound of it.
"Just coming in. Didn't mean to wake you." He felt embarrassed under her stare. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"Let me move. You can take the bed." As she said it she was already moving to stand. He moved towards her and grabbed her arm, leaning over her as she sat on the edge.
"Beth, go back to sleep." Her breath was soft as it fanned over his face. He would almost call it a sigh. She shook him off of her and let her fingers intertwine with his. He couldn't remember the last time someone had held his hand, if ever. She squeezed his fingers once. He felt something pleasantly unpleasant move in his stomach and something clench in his chest.
"Just this one time." She whispered and he nodded even though he knew she probably couldn't see it. Words disappeared when she touched him this way. She was gone before he noticed her pulling away. He heard her rustle the sheets on the bed and get comfortable once again.
Daryl was grateful that she didn't argue tonight. He was having a hard enough time not doing something they'd both regret. After a little while laying there on the couch, thinking about her, he fell asleep.
The next morning it was a little blonde girl that was shaking him awake. His eyes flew open landed on a smiling and joyful face. Mika looked like she had just won something extraordinarily nice.
"You're here! You came back!" She exclaimed and hopped onto him, she embraced him in a hug that he felt was a little over the top. He looked around the room. He was surprised that he had slept in this late. Beth and Lizzie were nowhere to be found. The girl had not let go and he was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
"Yeah, now get off before I regret it." The frustration in his tone didn't seem to register with her. She only pulled away and flashed a radiant smile at him.
"Lizzie and Beth went to go feed Judith. I stayed behind." She looked at him expectantly and he just grunted in response. What was he suppose to say?
"Beth was so happy this morning. You should have seen her. She was humming. Almost singing. We love when she sings. Don't you?" The girl was basically chirping that's how excited her was.
"It's alright I suppose." He said noncommittally but the girl beamed at him. He stood from the couch and made his way to the door to grab his stuff. She followed close behind him.
"Are you going to eat breakfast with us? Carl does sometimes. Lizzie and Carl like each other I think. I know Lizzie likes him. Do you think Carl likes her? You'll be there right?" The questions irked him even though he knew she was well meaning.
"No," He told her and like that it was like the wind was pulled out of her sails.
"Why not? Aren't you hungry?" The girl was sweet and she looked confused about his rejection.
"Got stuff to do. You better run along." He grabbed his crossbow and draped it over his shoulder.
"I called her mom." Mika said suddenly. She was realizing her time was running short to tell him things. He shrugged and waited for her to say more.
"She didn't get mad or anything. She just looked at me real funny and then offered to brush my hair for me. She did it in these really cool braids too. We had to take them out before bed though." She smiled slightly at the memory and ran a hand through her hair. "You were right.'"
"Course I was." He told her. Something was incredibly endearing about Mika. He cracked a smile too and then opened the door to leave.
She ran after him. She had to hurry to keep up with his pace.
"Beth, Mom, she wanted to talk to you before you left I think. She was shushing us all morning trying to give you more time to sleep." Mika had quite the mouth on her. Seemed she never stopped talking.
"If she wants to talk to me, she'll find me." He told her. "Can't sleep all day."
"It's early still though." Her eyes were wide. "You always wake up before us and we wake up early. Beth, mom, she says it's better to get up early but Lizzie always wants to sleep in. She says that you only get so many mornings."
"It's true," He told her. His voice was soft then because he knew that the girl couldn't possibly understand the full meaning of the words. Even though she had lost most of her family she didn't fully understand what that mean yet. She was too small.
"Daryl!" He looked up and saw Beth with Judith on her hip and Lizzie trailing behind her. He had hoped to avoid this for as long as possible. Lizzie brightened considerably and Mika ran to join her behind Beth.
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to sit down and have breakfast with us now that Judith is all fed." Her eyes held a kind of hope that he had a hard time snuffing out.
"I got a lot of things to do." He said adjusting the crossbow on his back just to do something with his hands. He felt that heat that signified a blush starting to creep up his neck.
"Surely you can sit and have a proper breakfast for one day. The world isn't going to fall apart over you sitting and eating for thirty minutes." She was prodding and he knew it. He wasn't particularly happy about it but looking at her and the blonde children in tow he knew it wouldn't be a good thing to refuse.
"Okay, but it's only for today." He told them looking directly at Mika who looked about ready to jump up and down.
"Of course!" Beth said and she turned to walk back from where she was coming from pushing the children along. They passed Michonne on their way into C block and Mika immediately explained the situation to her in the most exuberant way possible.
"Michonne! Daryl is sitting with us for breakfast! Isn't that great?! Isn't it?" The child called to her and Michonne started to laugh. He was particularly embarrassed when Michonne took the opportunity to wink at him. He was sure that he was pink all over.
"Yeah, Dixon never sits with anyone. You must be something special."
Beth hushed Mika and pushed her forward, encouraging her to continue into the area and take a seat. This was probably the most domestic this he had ever done in his entire life. Lizzie and Mika took a seat next to each other and Beth went to go get them something to eat, she passed him Judith on her way and the baby giggled happily. This was all something at was totally out of character for him and he started to feel more and more uncomfortable when eyes started to rest on him.
Maggie passed with a wide smile on her face as she waved to the children. Glenn followed her and patted his back. He didn't feel comfortable with this kind of attention. It seemed he was getting too much praise these days. He didn't need anyone thinking he was a family man. He wasn't.
Beth returned with a couple of bowls filled to the brim with fruits and vegetables from the garden. The girl's took theirs and started in on them. Beth smiled and sat down next to him. The proximity made him even more nervous. He was wishing he could just bolt.
Beth looked at him kindly and removed Judith from his arms to sit the girl in her lap and passed him a bowl she had prepared for him. He took it, grateful for the distraction from the situation at hand. He watched from underneath his hair as Carl came up to the table and took a seat next to Lizzie whose blush put his to shame. Carl whispered something in her ear and she nodded. A smile was wide on her face and the boy laughed at her. His eyes flickered over to Beth who was doing her best to advert her attention from that side of the table but there was a smirk on her face. This was good.
This whole moment was good, happy, and perfect. It was everything they were fighting to keep and he was happy to see it even if he felt slightly removed from it. He fished around in his bowl picking around some things in favor of others just to make the food last longer.
He hadn't realize Beth moved at all until her little hand was wrapping itself around his underneath the table and giving him a squeeze. He tried to remain unaffected and continue eating but his heart felt all stuck in his chest in a not entirely unpleasant way again.
He wasn't about to pull away. Maybe he should, but he couldn't.
He didn't want to...
"Momma?" Mika called from where she was sitting and Beth retracted her hand from his in favor of a fork to start eating again. She looked at Mika with a small smile. "Momma, can we color today before story time. Together I mean, you and me?"
"Of course," She told the girl and he thought he could see her trying not to smile too wide. Judith slammed her hands down on the table in front of her and laughed at the slapping sound. He watched as Beth ran her left hand over the baby's head and stroked her hair. She was good at mothering even being so young herself. He wondered if it was just something some people are born with.
"Hey Daryl?" Carl called. His voice was steady and sure. The child had long out grown fear. "Could you maybe take me and Lizzie out to do the fences today? If you're doing them that is?" He looked at the both of them considering it. Lizzie straightened under his stare.
"Rick okay with that?" He asked the boy and he shrugged in response.
"Gave me my gun back so..."
"Yeah, you can come if it's alright with Beth." Both the kids looked at her expectantly. She paused, thinking it over.
"Mom, please? I promise to be careful. We'll be back for story time?" Beth laughed then and it was one of those deep heartfelt ones that him smile just by hearing it.
"Yeah you can go."
"Bet I can beat you there Daryl!" Carl called pushing himself and starting out the door. Lizzie followed swiftly only stopping to give Beth a quick hug.
"Be safe" She whispered to him before standing and grabbing her bowl and Lizzie's to put them in the pile to be washed. Mika followed behind her and gave him a excited wave goodbye as she rounded the corner.
Damn, domesticated indeed.