Chapter 10: You Are My Evening Star

Author's note: I made a jump in time, 3 or 4 weeks. Edward and Bella have seen each other every Thursday on their weekly lunch date. They also call and text each other regularly. Bella is still with Jacob (*hides*) and she thinks that they are doing a better job as a couple; but we all know that she is fooling herself, don't we? Or are they back on track?

In case you wondered: Twilight isn't mine, it's Stephenie Meyers. But this plotbunnie is mine and so I like to play with the characters she created.

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Thursday evening, the 18th of December

Bella was finally returning to work!

The doctor had removed her cast a few days ago and the tan-coloured bandage around her right wrist was now the only visual reminder about what she had endured. Excited that she would be back to work in a few days, on Monday to be precise, she had gone to her office at the hospital to clean her desk and to catch up on the progress her patients had made. She had just returned to her apartment with a stack of medical charts tucked in the crook of her arm when her mobile rang.

Placing the charts hastily on the table, she frantically searched in her bedraggled hand-bag and cursed when the melodic sound of her mobile faded away. She was too late as usual and she made a mental note that she needed to clean out her purse soon. Still wondering who had called her, she continued her quest for her mobile.

"There you are," she reprimanded her cell phone and flipped it open to discover the I.D. of the missed phone call. The twinkle in her eyes and the soft oh that escaped her half-open mouth betrayed the identity of the caller. She pressed the redial button and waited for him to pick up his phone after the second ring.

"Hey Bella." His optimistic voice greeted her.

"Hey Edward. You called?"

"Yeah, and you couldn't find your phone right? That purse really needs to get cleaned out, Bella," Edward teased. Soft chuckles were what he got in return, when Bella realized that he was right: her purse really was a miniature garbage can these days. But she couldn't help it; she was a hoarder who never threw anything out.

"Stop giving me a hard time, Edward. Make yourself useful and help me clean it out, okay?" she teased back and was rewarded with a loud throaty laugh that made her head spin. She turned around in the kitchen and noticed the beautiful black-and-white picture of Jacob and her, taken a few weeks before she had met Edward. When she caught a glimpse of the photo, she composed herself, removed the grin from her face and searched for her ability to speak. He is just a friend, she told herself, but her heart rejected those words.

Bella asked, "So why are you calling? Do you already miss me after our lunch date this afternoon?"

Silence filled the other side of the line and it sounded like Edward was carefully weighing his next words. He was struggling with the decision to either be completely honest or mask the truth a bit, but decided that honesty was the best policy.

"You always know I miss you to death, princess. I will not be able to sleep tonight, thinking of you." His last words were meant to be a joke but there was a hint of truth in them as well. When she laughed heartily, he was relieved that she took them in a humorous way.

"Tell me Cullen, do you want me to sing you to sleep tonight over the phone?" Listening to those words leave her mouth, she slapped her head. She couldn't remember the last time she actually sang, but it was a while, of that she was sure.

"Oh, I would love to hear you sing me to sleep, Miss Swan."

Bella winced. "Let's pretend I didn't make that offer, Edward. I'd hate to subject you to my hideous singing voice... that would hardly be a lullaby."

Silently Edward agreed, knowing that hearing her melodious voice singing to him would be so stimulating that he would not be able to sleep for the entire night. However, he did hope that one day he would hear her sing for him.

"Anyway, I called because I needed to ask you something. My brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie are celebrating their second wedding anniversary this weekend and Emmett has made a reservation in a fancy restaurant, to surprise his wife, on Saturday. He asked me to baby-sit for Liam, their baby." And before he could even ask for the favour, Bella's enthusiastic voice filled his ears.

"I would love to join you Edward, if that was your question?"

"You read my mind, Bella. Can I pick you up around 6:30?"

"Perfect. I'm already looking forward to see that little cutie. See you soon."

"Me too Bella. See you Saturday."

Bella murmured her goodbyes before she flipped her phone closed, and couldn't help but smile the entire time she prepared dinner.

~Saturday night~

"Just come up Edward, it's on the second floor, the first door to the left," Bella instructed through the intercom, while she continued to put on a bit of soft pink lip gloss. Leaving the apartment door open a crack, she ran back to the bedroom and searched for the right boots to wear.

"Knock knock. Can I come in?" Edward asked tentatively through the half open door.

"It's open, Edward!" Bella yelled from the deep recesses of her closet while sliding on her brown leather boots.

"Are you sure? No indecencies?"

Her voice sounded less muffled as she emerged from the closet. "If you call putting on leather boots indecent, then it's safer for you to wait outside. Or maybe you have some sort of shoe fetish?"

She heard him chuckle while he closed the door behind him. Popping out of the bedroom, Bella took in the image of him entering her apartment, the image that literally took her breath away. She stared openly at him and she didn't even try one bit to hide her admiration. When he entered her apartment all Bella could think of was that he looked... Stunning. Breath-taking. Gorgeous. Amazing.

Her eyes wandered from his black all-stars peeking out beneath his jean-clad legs, to the white long sleeved t-shirt that hugged his male, muscular shape in all the right places, to his oh-so messy and wilde but inviting bronze hair that was half covered with the dark blue cap of his hoodie. His lips caught her attention when she made her visual journey down his face and her eyes rested there, caught in the pinkness of his lips. The winter cold was probably to blame for that tantalizing pink colour. She saw how his lips moved; they formed words that were addressed to her but she couldn't hear anything. She could only stare at those perfectly formed lips and the scruffy stubble that lined his face. And when he gave her the crooked smile she loved, her heart stopped while her brain went blank for several seconds. This man came straight from professional photo shoot, or so seemed.

She had never seen him looking so casual before. When he was at the academy or when they had lunch together, he was always freshly shaven. But now, probably because it was the weekend, he hadn't shaved, and it suited him perfectly. His stubble made his casual, sporty outfit complete although Bella realised that this man in front of her never looked casual. He would look hot and well-dressed even if only a plastic bag covered his body.

Edward rubbed his cheeks when he realised that she was staring at him and that gesture brought Bella back to earth.

"Don't you recognize me anymore with this stubble, Bella?" The teasing banter was there already, even if they had been in each other's company for less than a minute.

Searching for the right words while she zipped up her boots, she looked away from the beauty that had just entered her apartment. "I wasn't sure if it was you, that's all."

"Oh should I feel offended now Bella? Do I look that ugly on a casual Saturday night?" and he closed the distance between them to kiss her hello.

"No no, you always look hot and…"

Did you just say that like that?! Hot?! That doesn't even cover it properly! Her mind screamed while she nervously bit her lower lip. She looked at him, caught in the moment of her childish honesty. She could slap herself right now for eagerly saying out loud the naughty thoughts that inhabited her brain. Her words were covered with a blanket of sexual attraction and she knew he had tasted her sexual hunger too. Their lusty pools locked and they entered a struggle to see who would speak first. It was Edward who gave in and Bella exhaled the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"You look stunning too Bella, you always take my breath away," Edward confessed when he drank in her appearance. She looked casual but stylish with her dark blue jeans and a simple black long sleeved t-shirt. He could easily see the curves of her breasts through the fabric of her t-shirt and he forced his eyes away of them, realising that it was inappropriate to keep his eyes there.

He turned his head to the left and looked at the large black and white photographs that covered the white wall. Bella was the main subject of the photos and it didn't matter what kind of pose she struck, she looked stunning every time. He couldn't hide his admiration and he overloaded her with compliments to show it.

"Wow Bella, you are a professional model; those pictures are really beautiful."

"Actually, Jacob is the one that deserves the compliments. He always knows how to manipulate the lighting, how to create the perfect background, and when to snap the photo. He is the artist; I just do what he tells me to do. He is really good at what he does, you know."

"He definitely is. How are you two doing by the way?" Edward asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"We are good actually. I think we are back on the right track. And I think that my return to work will do our relationship good." Her answer left a bitter aftertaste, Bella realised. Shouldn't a couple love their free time together? Bella didn't want to think about Jacob right now; she and Edward had a lovely night planned and Bella looked forward to holding baby Liam in her arms.

"Can we go?" Bella asked, her eyes pleading to drop the subject, when she wrapped her elegant fingers around the sleeve of his hoodie. She got a confirmatory nod back and they made their way out of the apartment, to Edward's car.

"Your apartment looked so… clean, Bella." Edward said with a look of surprise on his face when he opened the passenger door of his car for her.

Bella frowned, attempting to appear offended. "Just because my purse is a pigsty doesn't mean that my house is too, Edward!" She playfully slapped his shoulder while ordering him to remove the smug smile off his face.

~*~

"Why do you have your guitar with you?" Bella asked, confused when Edward grabbed the guitar case out of his car before shutting the door. He locked the car and placed his hand on her lower back to guide her to the front door. Through the material of her thick, warm winter jacket she could feel his long fingers on her lower back and she just loved that. She leaned back into his touch and enjoyed his caring gesture like it was her first time experiencing such a touch.

He wasn't the first man to place his hand on the small of her back, but he was the first to do so in such a loving and protective way. There was a certain pressure in his touch, but not insistent. It wasn't like he was pushing her forward; it was more like he wanted to be the guide that let her safely through the dangerous night. Like she was the princess and he the true and loyal knight whose main concern was her safety. Not that there wasn't anything dangerous about the walk to the door, but the night had fallen over Forks and he wanted to avoid another collision if he could.

"Last time Liam was at my apartment, he stayed overnight. But it was after midnight and he couldn't sleep. He cried and cried and I tried everything; but nothing helped. Desperately, I took my guitar out to sing a song for him and miraculously it helped. He stopped crying when my fingers touched the strings and when I sang; he smiled and waved his hands enthusiastically. It was amazing and finally, he fell asleep. So this time, I'm a prepared man."

They were smiling coyly at each other when a tall, muscular and extremely attractive man opened the door. The moment she saw his eyes, his short cropped hair, and his softly tanned skin, Bella knew this was Edward's big brother Emmett.

"You must be Bella," and he stuck out his hand to welcome her. "Since my brother is such a dork, I'll introduce myself: I'm Emmett, the bigger and handsomer brother of Edward. Nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Emmet, Edward's handsomer brother." Emmett liked her immediately, grasping that she was a woman with a good sense of humour. He invited her inside into the warmth of his house.

"We heard a lot about you, and it's nice to finally put a face to the woman my brother is always talking about."

Emmett! Edward wanted to scream, and tell him that he wasn't allowed to say that, but the calamity had happened and there was nothing Edward could do to erase those words. Bella looked over her shoulder to shoot him a mischievous smile, excitement twinkling in her eyes. She was pleased to hear that Edward had talked about her, although she felt a bit awkward too. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to accompany him to his brother's place when she already had a boyfriend, but she could not deny how right it felt to spend a date babysitting with the man who was blushing from his brother's confession.

Licking his lips, Emmett guided Bella towards the living room, where Rosalie was changing Liam's diaper. Rosalie looked gorgeous in her dark blue dress and stiletto heels. She wore a matching blue woollen cardigan and a scarf to keep her warm. She had smoky eyes and shiny earrings; and her ensemble all matched together perfectly. Her long blond hair was pulled up with some pins and several loose, curly strands cascaded down her shoulders. Edward had told her some things about Rosalie, but he'd never told her she came right from a Vogue or Elle magazine too. Bella felt plain and somehow out place in this house where she was surrounded by beautiful people... But she snapped back out of her revelry when Emmett introduced them to each other.

"This is my wife Rose. Rose, this is Bella." The two women smiled at each other and when Rose had finished redressing Liam, she walked over to Bella to give her a kiss.

"Nice to finally meet you Bella."

"Nice to meet you too, Rose. You look stunning, and this little baby boy looks so cute too." Bella lightly brushed her slender fingers across the baby's cheek, caressing his cherubic face. She received a bright smile from Liam in return, and she was surprised to find Emmett pouting at her when she looked up at him.

"I thought you were talking about me, when you mentioned the cute boy. What does my son have that I don't have?" he joked while he shrugged on his black jacket.

"I already told you that you looked good, remember?" Bella reminded him with a wink. She was referring to their meeting at the door, charming him by repeating his own words that he was handsomer than his baby brother. He looked amazing, that was a fact. The baggy jeans combined with the long sleeved black t-shirt and designer jacket suited him perfectly.

"Don't pay attention to him Bella. Since we had our baby, he can't handle the fact that Liam gets more attention from women than he does." And with that comment, Rose handed the baby over to Bella. Rose went over to Edward, kissed his cheek and told them both what they needed to know about Liam and his daily routines.

"She's a paediatrician Rose; she knows what to do when he has a problem. Come on, let's go, our dinner is waiting for us." He rolled his eyes at the pointy glare his wife gave him. God, she even looked beautiful when she glared at him. Sexy as hell, my stunning wife, he thought.

Realising that her husband was right; Liam was in good hands, they exchanged their goodbyes and Rose kissed her son tenderly before they left.

~*~

"You're good with kids Bella, really. You're a natural," Edward offered while Bella fed Liam his last bottle of milk before his bedtime. The bottle was almost empty and Liam was sliding into dreamland, although his lips still sucked on the bottle hungrily. Tiny fingers of one hand grasped the warm bottle, like he was trying to feed himself.

Bella holding a little baby, feeding him; it looked so natural and easy to Edward. It felt like watching her feed their own children and he closed his eyes when that thought crossed his mind, a deep sigh escaping his lips. He wanted her; he craved her. Every fibre of his body longed for her. He wanted to touch her all over her body. He wanted to hold her every day for the rest of his life and make love to her until the sun came up again. His desires concerning Bella Swan were multi-dimensional but spending nights in bed together and making music for her were definitely part of them.

A bit frustrated by what he longed for but couldn't have, he stood up and walked to the French window to stare out at the traffic lights and the stars. Observing him gaze into the distance, Bella watched the frown on his forehead and wondered what was wrong. She walked over to him, resting Liam against her shoulder, gently patting his back to burp him before she took him to bed.

She leaned into his back, Liam between their bodies, while she asked him in a low voice what was on his mind. "What's wrong Edward?"

He took his time to answer and with a deep sigh, he turned around and hugged both of them, carefully, so he wouldn't wake up Liam. He stroked her back up and down with both his hands. "I like babysitting my nephew, but it makes me wish I had kids of my own," he admitted, adding silently in his mind, with you. He had said the truth, although not completely. But sometimes knowing the truth is easier than saying it out loud.

A single tear was visible in his left eye when he told himself he needed to stop loving her like that. She was nothing more than a friend, a friend who already had a boyfriend. He needed to stop longing for someone he could never have. Bella's words about how she and Jacob had worked things out ran through his head and it stung. Not a little, but very much.

Bella saw how the watery droplet made its way to the side of his nose, down to his lips. She moved her free hand up to his cheek and with her thumb she wiped away the tear. Her hand remained on his cheek and he leant into her touch, while he closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her proximity.

"You know you can tell me everything, anything that's on your mind, right Edward?"

He nodded his head in return, although he knew he couldn't tell her this. He feared that if he told her what was on his mind, it would ruin what they had, and he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't pour his heart out, telling her he yearned for her so much that it physically hurt. That he couldn't eat properly anymore because the butterflies in his stomach flip-flopped all the time. He couldn't tell her his true feelings because he didn't want to force her into an ultimatum. It would hurt her and he couldn't do that to her, not after what she had been through. He didn't want her to force her to choose between him and Jacob; he just wanted her, completely. And he wanted her to come to him out of her free will.

Bella's hand guided his head closer so their foreheads touched and her worried voice made him open his eyes again.

"Edward, look at me. You do know you can tell me everything, right? I'm your friend; at least, I hope I am." Her chocolate orbs filled with concern when they locked with his warm green pools.

His breath tickled her lips - the smell of him tantalizing her senses to extreme - and his words sounded almost musical. "You are a very good friend Bells, one I'd like to keep close. You live in my heart. And I know that I can tell you everything," he responded honestly. As honest as possible.

Their heads moved a bit closer, - automatically, naturally - causing their lips almost to connect. Bella wanted it and Edward wanted it too. He had longed to feel her lips on his for a long time now, and Bella desired the same thing. His hand moved to her hip and pulled her closer so their lower bodies connected in unison; while Bella's hand moved from his cheek to his scalp, entangling her fingers finally in his messy hair, to guide his head closer to hers. Their lips were only inches apart from each other and they could feel the other's rapid breathing, tingling and teasing the other's lips. They closed their eyes while a warm heat had nestled itself in their hearts and lower bodies.

Edward's quivering lips connected with Bella's, but the moment lasted only a thousandth of a second because the loud burp of Liam brought them both back to the reality of the present. Flustered cheeks and avoiding gazes filled the next few moments; both Edward and Bella didn't know what to do or say. A painfully awkward situation and their pounding hearts didn't make the situation any easier.

Bella handed Liam over to Edward and when their hands touched, firework filled the room. Edward jumped a bit but made sure that he held Liam carefully in his arms as he made his way to the stairs, to put the cutie to sleep.

She looked around the room, panting, trying to busy herself after that almost-steamy kiss had totally disoriented her. "Is it okay if I put the pizzas Rose left for us in the oven, Edward?" Bella's voice was unsteady and she felt wobbly standing in the middle of the living room, glancing about to find anything to avoid the painful and awkward tension that was hanging between them so suddenly.

"Sounds good to me Bells, be right back." And he walked up the stairs with Liam cuddling in his warm embrace.

"Oops, I doubt he will be right back," Bella said to herself when she heard the loud and insistent screams and cries of baby Liam. Rosalie had told them that he had often gotten cramps after his bottle of milk and that he wasn't fond of going to bed either.

Just like his father, he won't go to bed at a decent hour, Rosalie's words echoed through Bella's head.

Bella smiled as her gaze fell upon the guitar case that Edward had brought with him, and she decided to take it up to him. Hopefully singing a song for Liam would calm him down so they could have some time together. Less awkward than their previous moment.

She walked upstairs to find Edward in the main bedroom where he was caressing Liam's tummy, like Rosalie had instructed them to do when he cried.

"Here Edward, maybe this will help." And she unclasped the case then handed him the wooden, light brown acoustic guitar.

"Thanks" and he placed the leather strap around his neck and shoulder, while Bella took over the soft caressing of Liam's belly. She made soft circles through the material of his flannel pyjamas and his loud cries turned into soft sobs. But they stopped abruptly when Edward started to sing. She had never heard him sing and it was even better than she had imagined. His velvet voice made her head clouded and her heart started to race again.

Sometimes I try to count the ways and reasons that I love you
But I can't ever seem to count that far
I love you in a million ways and for a million reasons
More than this I love you as you are
More than this I love you as you are

Bella stopped her sweet ministrations and turned her head slightly to look at him while his ebony voice filled her heart with tenderness. She swallowed hard when she drank in the view of his long fingers caressing and wandering over the strings. She was certain that those fingers could do some magic to her too.

When his sang his next words, he turned his head softly to her and their eyes locked the moment he poured his heart out to her.


You are my inspiration, you are the song I sing
You are what makes me happy, you are my everything
You are my daily sunshine, you are my evening star
Everything I'll ever need or want, that's what you are
Everything I'll ever need or want is what you are

Bella realised that he was referring to her and a sad but warm glow washed over her. This was wrong in so many ways. Wrong because Jacob was still in the picture, wrong because she knew her unavailability hurt the man sitting in front of her. She was no good. She was damaged and imperfect and he deserved so much better than her.

She avoided his penetrating gaze by looking at Liam who was already fast asleep, struggling with the dark mood that had fallen down on her again. She kissed Liam's head and wished him sweet dreams while Edward played the last notes on his guitar. Bella forced away the tears that had appeared in her eyes and tried to keep them from falling. For once, she succeeded and she was grateful for that.

"The pizza is almost ready Edward; do you want to come downstairs?" Bella whispered into the darkness and when she saw him nod his head in return, she tiptoed out of the darkened room.

~*~

Bella had divided the pizza slices onto two plates and brought them into the living room. Edward was opening a bottle of red wine, and he proceeded to fill the large crystal glasses before he plopped on the sofa next to her.

"Here you go, the pepperoni pizza like you asked." And Bella handed him the dark grey plate.

"Thanks."

"Mmm yummie," Bella said after she bit a large piece of her pizza. "Spinach with mozzarella is my all time favourite!" and she flashed a brilliant smile at him, feeling happy again.

He rewarded her with one of his breath taking crooked smiles and they ate in silence, sipped from their wine from time to time and when they'd both finished eating, Edward cleared his throat and voiced something that had been on his mind for weeks now.

"Bella," he began, taking her hands in his and enveloping them in his warm palms, "I need to tell you something. Something that has been on my mind for quite a long time now, something that keeps me awake at night. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing sharing this with you, but my mother always told me that honesty is the best policy, so I'm doing it anyway. Know I don't say it because I want to mess up the relationship you have with Jacob, especially since it has going better with him lately. But I need to say it, because it doesn't feel right not telling you."

He looked into her questioning eyes before he told her what had been on his mind and in his heart…

TBC... during the weekend.

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*lyrics: Dolly Parton: You Are

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