"JJ!" He was gasping at her and she wasn't sure that she'd ever seen him like this, so animated. "Oh, thank God!"

"Hey there," JJ repeated, surprised at how throaty she sounded, "what's happening?" she asked him, even as she worried that he might faint from apparent excitement.

"I should call the doctors in."

"Don't," JJ surprised herself by catching his wrist, "Just stay with me?"

Hotch looked unsure but nodded. She took in his features. His face was gaunter than ever, if such a thing was possible. It made the black of his hair even more noticeable. Despite being in a wheelchair, she could see no outward sign of injury, though his movements were stiff.

"What happened?" She asked him, knowing that he'd give her the whole story straight, something that everyone else might duck and dodge.

"What do you remember?"

"That we're in Nashville. That we found the UNSUB's house. That he had two little boys hostage."

"Andrew Marcello, that's the UNSUB. Five of us went to his house – Reid was confined to the station after he tripped in that ditch yesterday," JJ couldn't suppress a small smile, "Prentiss and Morgan took the back entrance whilst you, I and Dave took the front with one of the locals. You and I took the downstairs."

"He managed to surprise us both?" JJ was confused. She was the best shot on the team and Hotch the most cautious, how had this happened to them?

"Yes." Hotch wasn't making eye contact with her.

"How?"

"I must not have cleared the room properly," he turned her hand over in his large ones and she was struck by the boyishness of his guilt, "I'm sorry, I let you down."

JJ thought for a moment, before responding: "Bullshit." His face was comical – eyebrows jumping to somewhere near his hairline.

"I refuse to believe you did anything less than your best. I know you've always got my back, even if you don't."

"Thank you." Hotch smiled at her, clearly not convinced but almost bashful.

"You have nothing to apologise for. Where is everyone?"

"I think they're asleep in the waiting room."

"Seriously?"

"Of course. Did you think they'd obey my order to go and get some rest? Garcia's here, which should say it all. I should go and get them, I know they want to see you."

"In a minute. Let them get some rest." She held onto him again, and both were forced to acknowledge that neither wanted to share the other with the rest of the team, not just yet.

"What happened to the boys?"

"Apparently they're fine. Marcello's in custody now."

"Good." JJ shifted against the pillows, trying to prop herself up. Her breathing felt a little tight.

"How are you feeling?" Hotch asked her, concern written all over his face.

"As good as can be expected, I suppose. How about you?"

"I'm fine. The bullet just clipped me at the top of the leg, blood loss more than anything."

"Good."

JJ was aware that her throat was beginning to hurt, properly now. She needed more drugs. But she wasn't willing to send Hotch away just yet. She needed to get all of the things she had been keeping to herself off of her chest. The older man beside her was watching her with the upmost care.

"You know I love you guys, right? We don't say these sort of things often enough." Her voice was a little quieter now, even as she tried to inject her usual conviction into her words.

"I know, Jayje."

She hardly hesitated before she plunged on, knowing he'd put up a fight, "I love you, too."

"Don't. Don't," his voice was sharper than she knew he wanted it to be, but she didn't let it get to her, she was seeing things so clearly now, "You're going to be fine."

"I need to say these things, Aaron, even if you can't. Just in case I-" she caught herself, "Just in case." Hotch's shoulders were rigid and his gaze was locked onto the railing of the gurney. But he didn't try to interrupt again, so she took it as a sign to continue.

"If anything happens to me, or should ever happen to me, I need to know that you guys are going to stick together, okay? I want you to make sure that you and Jack and everyone are a part of Henry's life. If I can't be there for him," there was a lump in her throat now that she almost hoped was injury related, "then I want him to know me through you. I want him to think of me like Jack thinks of you." The lump won out and she couldn't suppress the gargled sob. She turned her head to the side, trying to breathe. Aaron was holding her hands in his again and that almost made it worse. Her chest hurt from it all.

"I promise, Jayje," he was wiping away the tears she hadn't even realised were flooding out again, "I promise that I will look after everyone, including Henry. Including you."

JJ managed a watery smile for him, "My hero."

That got a small smile from him and that cheered her up to no end.

"Just settle down now. Everything will be alright."

"You promise?"

"I promise." She nodded before she sinking down again, letting the exhaustion win out. She could still feel his presence beside her, his hand occasionally brushing over her hair and she felt at peace even though that pain in her chest was a little sharper now. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was Hotch or the knowledge that her odd, little rag-tag family were just down the hall, safe and near.

She thought of Henry, safe at his Dad's house and of how much she loved him, how much she missed him, but grateful that he had such a great father – she had done one thing right, at least. She thought of Pen and Emily, who'd filled a hole in her life vacant since her sister's death. And if they were her sisters, then Derek and Spence were undoubtedly her brothers, with their ridiculous antics, showboating and genuine affection. Dave was her friend, the uncle she'd never had, supportive and generous, with that mischievous twinkle that could never be dampened. And Hotch, Hotch was her rock. She and Hotch were a mess of 'what-might-have-beens' but that didn't stop them from loving each other in their own weird way.

Unbidden, a memory of a summer many years ago came to mind. The sun was warm and the grass brittle. She was laughing on the banks of the Allegheny, feeling the sucking of the water over her toes as the water level slowly dropped. Her friends, voices indistinguishable in the afternoon haze and crickets starting their evening song, were lolling besides her. The joyfulness of the scene made JJ think it was after she had heard about her scholarship, had been able to relish those small town days, knowing that they were coming to an end.

She wanted to tell Hotch about the memory, but wasn't sure he'd like the tone, what it seemed to suggest. The only thing that was anchoring her down was his hands. She wished she could show him the scene. Wished he could have seen more of her like that. The image cleared, and instead of the vacuous high school friends who had all drifted away from her with each baby and husband, there was her team, smiling and laughing and drinking beers, as though on one of their rare summer picnics. She saw herself beaming at her son, being swung about by the man who was sitting beside her.

The grip of his hands faded. JJ couldn't hear the shrill ascending beeps.

She felt her life ebbing out like the tide.