Big Island in the Sky
Chapter Ten
CharliesHoodie
A/N: I hope you guys appreciate me, because I had to go through the script of Catch-22 (the episode, not the book. A book does not have a script) to find the lyrics to the song Desmond sings when he's drunk. And while doing that, I had to look through all the quotes of Charlie freaking out about Desmond's visions and Desmond not telling him about his visions and stuff. (That was the episode where Charlie got an "arrow in the neck…of his guitar!" as Creepy Podcast Guy put it.) So yes, it was very painful to get those twenty-four words. Enjoy!
P.S. Charlie's not dead. He just enjoys very long swims. Like a whale. And Michael's coming back to the show…blech. They get rid of a good character and bring back one who's in the MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN. Smart.
And I've come to a new point in the getting-over-Charlie thing that's never ever gonna happen. I've decided if the writers felt bad and magically gave Charlie gills (this would be ANOTHER Island mystery) and he survived, I wouldn't complain. I would be gracious. So I'm willing for Lost to become crazy alien-gills show in order to save Charlie. But soon the gills would have to go away, because that's just not attractive. And then people would forget, and it'd be another unsolved Lost mystery.
I still feel like suing, though. I want the last three years of my life back, pronto! Sadly, I still have an emotional attachment to Lost and continue writing and writing and writing. It's going to be weird to start watching it again, though. All my hostility towards those writers will resurface. Unlike Charlie. Charlie won't resurface. (Unless he has gills!)
So Cuse, Lindelof…if you're reading this…GIVE CHARLIE MAGICAL ALIEN GILLS.
Anyway…as I was saying…enjoy the story!
On the Island…
"Well it's a grand old team to play for! And it's a grand old team to see! And if you know your history, it's – hey! You you you!"
Mikhail looked up, sipping his wine. Desmond was tumbling towards him, half of his drink falling out of the bottle. Mikhail wasn't the least bit drunk, but Desmond definitely was.
"Yes?" Mikhail asked.
"Y-you…you need to get your act together!"
Mikhail raised an eyebrow.
Desmond shrugged. "Dr. Phil says that a lot…"
Mikhail sipped his wine slowly as Desmond took another gulp from his bottle. Desmond stared at Mikhail for a moment, making him nervous.
"You haven't had much to drink, have you, brother?"
Mikhail sighed. "Well, no. I'm not drunk."
Desmond frowned and put down his bottle. "Why aren't you drinking with me, mate?"
"Because, well, I…uh…need to be the…designated driver," Mikhail muttered under his breath.
Desmond didn't hear him. "I wonder who killed Charlie…"
Mikhail shifted nervously. Desmond turned and got really close to his face, peering at him "Are you sure it wasn't you?"
Mikhail grabbed his own bottle of wine and handed Desmond his.
"Instead of thinking about who killed Charlie, lets drink!"
Meanwhile, on the Big Island in the Sky…
Shannon lowered her voice and began singing the bridge of 'Good Vibrations' in a slight whisper.
"Gotta keep these lovin' good vibrations a happenin' with her…GOOOTTTTTTA keep these lovin' good vibrations a happenin' with her…"
Charlie cringed. Everyone else was staring at her blankly, hardly even trying to guess the song.
"Gotta keep these lovin' good vibrations a happenin' with her…"
Charlie frowned. "Shannon, no one-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Good, good, GOOOOOD, good vibrations!" Shannon pointed at Charlie.
Charlie sighed. "Oom bop bop…"
Shannon finished the song, pointing at Charlie each time she needed the backup, which he supplied in a monotone. Shannon then started the very long ending.
"Na na na na NAAAA na na na! Na na na na NAAA na na na!"
"SHANNON," Charlie exploded. "Stop singing!"
Shannon shrugged. "Fine. I don't like that part anyway." She threw her hands up in the air. "So, who knows the song?"
"The title is only repeated about two hundred times…" Charlie muttered under his breath.
"You aren't allowed to guess," Shannon reminded him.
Charlie stared at his friends hopelessly. "Come on, you guys…"
"I can sing it again!" Shannon offered.
Charlie stared at her coldly. She shrugged.
"It was Good Vibrations."
Everyone turned to look at the doorway that lead into the basement. Everyone stared. The man waved slightly.
"STEVE!" Charlie exclaimed.
"SCOTT!" Shannon squealed.
"JOHNNY!" Eko bellowed.
Everyone paused for a moment and looked around nervously.
"Wait," Charlie said. "Are you Scott or Steve?" He paused. "Or Johnny?"
"He's Johnny," Eko muttered.
"I'm…uh…Scott," Scott said. "The dead one. You don't remember me?"
There was a lengthy, awkward pause.
"Of COURSE we remember you!" Libby exclaimed, hugging him.
Scott looked around nervously. "I don't remember you…" he said to Libby.
Libby realized she didn't remember – or know – Scott either. "Oh, shit. Never mind."
"…Of COURSE we remember you!" Charlie exclaimed, opening his arms and embracing Scott. "What've you been doing?"
"Oh, you know, this…" he gestured around the living room and shrugged.
"Living in my basement?" Shannon asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, no! Of course not. I wouldn't even imagi – yes." He blushed.
"Steve has a crush…" Libby sang in a high-pitched wail.
Scott glared at her slightly. Charlie glanced at Libby nervously.
"Scott."
"Steve, Scott, Sebastian, whatever," Libby muttered.
"I prefer Scott…" Scott said.
Shannon scrunched up her nose. "Well, I think you should stop living in my basement and find your own house."
"Real estate is brutal around here…" Scott said.
"I mean, how do you NOT notice a five-foot-twelve guy living in your basement?" Charlie asked Shannon. "Didn't you ever do, like, laundry?"
"You only notice him because you're five-foot-seven and everyone looms above you…" Shannon informed him. Charlie glared. "And I have a maid that did my laundry. I haven't been down in the basement all year."
"So that's why the maid quit…" Boone observed.
"She's not a very accepting person!" Scott exclaimed.
Shannon rolled her eyes. "She was kinda fat anyway. Not good for my image."
Everyone else got the mental image of a short, overweight maid trying to tie her apron on and gasping for breath, but Boone gasped at Shannon's comment.
"What?!" Shannon exclaimed. "She weighed one-hundred and sixty pounds!"
"She was six feet tall!"
"One-hundred and sixty is a lot of weight," Shannon barked.
"Yeah, if you're not a giant!" Boone said, astounded.
"Yeah, Shannon, how tall are you?" Charlie prodded.
"Five-foot-nine."
"That's pretty tall…" Charlie observed. "What do you weigh? 140? 145?"
Shannon's eyes widened in horror. "135!"
Nikki shrugged. "At least she's not like Barbie. They say Barbie is 5'9", and with her body, she'd be about 110 pounds."
Paulo cocked his head curiously. "Now much do you weigh?" he asked Nikki.
"95."
Tears of frustration formed in Shannon's eyes. Everyone noticed.
"Hey, Shannon…" Charlie soothed. "It's only because she's about four feet tall…"
Nikki glared at the back of his head. "And how much do you weigh, Mr. Five-foot-seven?"
Charlie blushed. "It doesn't really matter…"
"Well, now that we're on the topic…" Nikki insisted.
"130," Charlie muttered.
Shannon ran away wailing.
Nikki rolled her eyes. "What a drama queen."
Scott was standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. "So, I guess I should go…"
"No! You should stay!" Libby offered. "We could use some more company."
"…No we couldn't," Boone said. "Do you know how many people are dead?"
"I've lost count," Libby admitted.
"Exactly."
Libby shrugged. "But Steve should stay. He seems kind of fun. You're fun, right Steve?"
"Scott."
"Scott," Libby corrected herself. "Scott, Scott, Scott."
Scott turned to Charlie. "So, I've been keeping up with the show. Is Mikhail dead? Is he here?"
"Well, he was here for awhile…now he's not," Charlie answered.
"Gottcha," Scott nodded. "That must have been nice and awkward."
"Not really," Charlie said. "We were actually kind of friends." He looked down at his wrist. "Although he did steal one of my bracelets while I was asleep."
"That's kind of funny…because I'm friends with the guy who killed me, too."
Charlie's eyes widened. "You mean…Ethan?"
"Yeah, he's actually pretty cool when he can't murder or abduct anyone."
"You mean…THE Ethan?"
"The Ethan that hung you and killed me, yes, THAT Ethan."
"…The Ethan or That Ethan?"
"Charlie, I'm pretty sure we're talking about the same person…"
"I hate that bastard," Charlie muttered. "Where is he?"
"He's been living in Shannon's basement too…I just didn't want to tell her that." Scott stuck his head in the doorway to the basement. "Ethan!"
A very alive looking Ethan came up the steps. He seemed friendly enough – he smiled at everyone. Everyone smiled back and waved nervously. But when his eyes fell on Charlie he glared at him steadily.
"You."
Charlie pretended not to notice or hear him. He was looking off to the side, playing with his ear lobe and humming.
"…You," Ethan tried again, but it didn't have the same effect as the first time.
Charlie jerked his head to look at Ethan and then grinned nervously. "Oh, hey! I was wondering when you would show up."
"And what are YOU doing here? You obviously have some immortality in that twelve-year-old body of yours, so how the hell are you dead?"
Charlie took a moment to absorb the insult, but still had a clearly confused expression on his face. "Um…Mikhail killed me."
"Psht," Ethan spat. "If you can survive getting hung, you can survive whatever that amateur did to you."
"He, uh, drowned me…"
"Swim, then!"
"…in a closed water tight room where the only escape was a hole about the size of my head."
Ethan frowned. "How did HE kill you and I didn't?!"
"Christ, Ethan, just use water the next time you want to kill someone just use water and stop bitching about it! And your method of-" Charlie said this in a very high pitched voice to mock Ethan "'-I'll kill everyone one by one!' didn't work!"
Scott glared at Charlie.
"Is Canada nice?" Boone asked Ethan out of nowhere.
"…He wasn't really from Canada, Boone," Charlie explained.
"But he said he was!"
"You see, sometimes people lie," Charlie explained. "And Ethan, is, in fact, a liar."
Charlie glared at Ethan and left the room.
Ethan looked at Boone. "Well, I've been to Canada." There was a pause. "It's all right."
On the Island…
"You know what we should do, brother?" Desmond asked. "Swim."
Mikhail was now completely drunk. He grinned and took another swing and tossed the empty bottle in the sand. He jumped up to his feet, staggering slightly.
Desmond stood up clumsily as he stripped down. It was completely dark now, and the stars were out. "You go on in. I'm gonna be right behind you!"
Mikhail immediately ran in the water, singing at the top of his lungs. "THE PHAAAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA IS THERE…INSIDE MY MIIIIIND."
Mikhail swum deeper in the water and floated as he looked back at the beach, waiting for Desmond. Since it was dark, he couldn't exactly see him.
"SING ONCE AGAIN WITH ME OUR STRANGE DUET," Mikhail screamed at the shore in Desmond's direction. "MY POWER OVER YOU GROWS STRONGER YET."
There was no answer. Mikhail frowned and bobbed there in the water for a while.
On the beach, Desmond was lying in the sand on his back, looking up at the stars and singing 'Catch A Falling Star' to himself and leaving out a word here and there. He then rolled over on his stomach and lied face down in the sand before passing out like that.
The next morning…
"Desmond…dude…"
Desmond felt a sharp poke in his ribs and he rolled back over on his back. Hurley was standing above him, a stick in his hand and staring down at his friend.
"Hello…" Desmond muttered, standing up and staring out at the ocean as he rubbed his head. "Oh, no! MIKHAIL!" he yelled out at the waves.
Hurley stared at him. "Mikhail as in crazy German dude with one eye?"
"Russian," Desmond corrected snappishly. "MIKHAIL!"
"Hey, where's Charlie?" Hurley asked.
"Charlie drow-" Desmond's eyes widened. "Oh no…"
"What?!" Hurley exclaimed, confused. "What happened to Charlie?"
Desmond stepped back away from Hurley. "Stay away from me, Hugo!"
"Why?!"
"Because everyone that comes near me drowns! Charlie…and Claire almost drowned! And now Mikhail!"
Hurley looked around nervously. "Desmond, dude, this is all in your head. Charlie's a great swimmer…probably. I'm sure he made it out of the water. You know, he, uh, caught a fish once! Yeah. He's a good swimmer. And Mikhail…I mean…I dunno about him. African-Americans supposedly aren't good swimmers…"
"Charlie was stuck in a room and Mikhail is RUSSIAN, Hugo, RUSSIAN."
Hurley took a step towards Desmond. "Dude, just chill…I'm sure they're fine…"
"You're gonna drown, Hugo! RUN."
Hurley closed his eyes briefly to collect himself. "Des, are you drunk? I'm sure you're all totally imagining this."
Desmond backed up in the water and started splashing Hurley. "Go! Run!"
Water went in Hurley's nose and mouth and he started sneezing and coughing.
Desmond's eyes widened crazily. "You're drowning!"
Hurley shook his head and sneezed again. "I'm going back to the camp, dude. I'm sure Charlie is there by now and Mikhail is off doing…crazy things. Bye, Des."
On The Big Island in the Sky…
"Don't. Say. Anything."
Mikhail glared at the group of Losties steadily. A smile twitched on Charlie's lips. Mikhail stared at him and Charlie frowned thoughtfully again.
"So, let me get this straight…" he snickered slightly. "You got drunk with Desmond, swam out into the ocean while intoxicated, passed out, and drowned?"
"While singing 'Phantom of the Opera'?" Boone asked.
"Yes. For the sixth time, yes, that is what happened! I drowned, ok!"
"Join the club," Charlie grinned. "Isn't it great? That feeling of water filling up your lungs…"
"Shut up."
"It's definitely one of my favorite past times."
Mikhail glared at Ethan. "Why are we dead because of him? Why?"
"Actually, this time it was your own fault," Charlie corrected Mikhail.
"Well, THIS time it was your boyfriend's fault so I'm blaming it on you, too!" Mikhail exclaimed.
"Desmond is NOT my boyfriend! Those stories lie."
Scott was sitting in a corner, looking bored and picking at his fingers. Eko approached him.
"Hello Johnny," Eko greeted him, sitting down with him.
Scott yawned. "Hello Nigerian man. Can I call you 'Nigel' for short?"
"Yes. You can."
They watched absently as Charlie danced around the room, singing 'Karma Police' and making sure to get right in Mikhail's face.
"Well, Johnny, welcome to the Big Island in the Sky," Eko said dramatically.
They sat in complete silence for a while until Scott turned back to Eko.
"…I've been here longer than you, Nigel."
-LOST-
A/N: So, sorry this took about, hm, ten years to publish. I've been dealing with stuff. Like hanging out with friends, jogging, working out, and having a very "Claire" situation. There's this guy that's like pretty cool. He's taller than me (impossible to find. I'm five-foot-nine – Shannon's height! Or, Maggie Grace's, rather.) Anyway, he's six-foot. Longish hair. And we totally have the same interests. But he's kinda a druggie. So I feel like Claire. Except much taller with no baby or Australian accent. And I think getting him off drugs won't be so romantic, because there's no bald guy to steal them from him. Sigh. (And we're not on an island! Wtf??) Anyway, I don't date druggies. Unfortunately, a baggie of cocaine comes with every musician. It's like a combo – boy, guitar, cocaine.
Anyway! I had the trippiest Lost dream EVER that I thought I'd share with you. Here goes.
So, I'm watching ABC. And there're commercials, and they announce that they're doing a Lost re-cap. Like, you know…when they have those episodes with the narrator with a weird accent and he's like "These people, all strangers, all with dark pasts and with strikingly good looks for average everyday people…all try to survive together! But they're NOT everyday people. They are…Lost." Du du du duuu. And maybe they'll add in that weird thing where they're all dancing around the beach (the UK promo) and they're like "One of us is a fugitive. A conman. A junkie." And then poor Jack is like "A DOCTOR" but they make it all dramatic. It's like…aren't you ALL murderers by now? There is not a single person on that show who hasn't killed someone. Geez Kate, shouldn't you be busy curling your hair with that magic Island curling iron of yours and painting on your freckles? And where is Shannon? Putting on her face?
Anyway…the recap wasn't like that at all! (So yes…the above paragraph was totally pointless.)
It shows someone on the set, and they show that the set of Lost is on a stage….? It's so weird. And they show these, like, cheetahs or something running around the hills and rocks on the Island, and they have snow machines going off…so the Cheetahs, on the LOST ISLAND are running in SNOW. And then they let loose a boar or a gazelle or…something and the Cheetahs attack and kill it. This is all filming for Lost…in the snow…on a tropical island…(Let me just say this again: the Lost crew was filming a scene of a cheetah in the snow killing an animal.)
Then it cuts to Carlton Cuse, who is facing the camera. He's talking about how amazing watching the cheetahs kill that…thing is. And then he starts thinking about how the boar or gazelle or antelope died and Cuse starts SOBBING at the camera, saying something sappy like "It's just so hard to think about, you know?"
I'm just like…DUDE. That's the lamest recap EVER! So, what, we can expect snow and cheetahs for season four and Carlton Cuse sobbing about the death of an antelope? Please. Where are the characters? What're they doing? Did you give Charlie gills? Thanks for the recap. I'm intrigued.
IMPORTANTE, CHICAS Y CHICOS: That means "Important, girls and boys" for those of you who aren't aware that the Spanish language is taking over the United States. Anyway, I'm going to be taking a break from this story, as school is starting soon. The break will NOT be long. I just need time to settle back in to the school schedule and enjoy my final weeks of freedom before Junior year starts. Anyhow, no worries. I definitely wanted to get in Ethan and Scott for you guys…especially Ethan. So many people wanted him to show up, and thus he did! I'll talk to you guys soon!
Jemmz: Well, my arm is better. Since I'm a vegetarian and I have limited sources of protein, my body doesn't exactly heal right. And theme parks aren't bad! Go to them! Go to Kings Island!! Just don't have to get your arm amputated…
xox-emily-xox: See, Evangeline is my favorite actress. I love her. However, she has my Dominic. And, well, I just love him more than she does. Seriously. I probably do. Does she have an entire wall dedicated to him? I didn't think so. Does she have his action figure? No. Does she have his picture in a frame? Maybe…but I do too! Has she had sex with him? Probably! But I haven't. …….Anyway. I've never played real Pictionary. But it sounds dreadful. My friends and I played it with an Ouija Board once…we called it spirit pictionary. And the spirit was pretty smart. It guessed everything without even having to look at the drawing. Creeeepy.
Lost-Inuyasha: Well, Eko's never been drunk on the show…however, he seems like he would be a fun drunk.
Lostrocks11: Oh, another Pictionary hater! Play it with an Ouija Board spirit…it takes a whole new spin to it. Although Ouija boards freak me out now.
Alix Zin: Yaaaaay Oasis fan! Lyla is a great song. I like the music video for it a lot.
Moonhowler15: Well, there you go! We went back to the alive Losties, as boring and stupid as they are. They think that they're so cool that they're alive…psht.
Jater92: I will check out your account eventually! And don't worry; the dead Losties are going to remain very much "alive." It is called Big Island in the Sky, after all. Not Big Island in the Ocean Where All of the Alive People Are. No. This story is about dead people! But I couldn't resist adding in the Hurley and Desmond thing.
4815162342 execute: Once again, every time I type in your penname I always expect a plane to come crashing through my window or something. Paulo and Boone will probably be great buddies!
Imzadi: There's a similar story? I demand a link! I want to read this 'similar story.' And yes, the Air Marshal, Mr. Edward Mars, is quite smart. That's why he DIED early on…to save himself from the other Losties. You know, I think they only made Kate a fugitive so they could have a Marshal on the show for, like, two episodes, have him die, and then have guns! That's the only reason they have Kate. So they can have guns. And maybe Ethan will get in a Tom Cruise fight!
Charlies my Wonderwall: LOVE your penname. And your ideas aren't stupid! A water-free party would be funny! And the Boone idea is great, too. By the way, Wonderwall is MY theme song! Well, it's Charlie's too. I guess it's more his than mine. But it's still my favorite song. Which is why Dominic Monaghan and I belong together.
SassyLostie: Your family sounds so cool! When I recommended playing Lost with my friend Kait, she was just like 'ooook there crazy girl.' I told her we could convince everyone on the beach we were in a plane crash. And that we could steal a baby! And she could be Claire and I could be Charlie and I could run around with our stolen baby yelling things like "I HAVE TO PROTECT HIM" and fun stuff like that. But she wasn't up for it. I'm curious – who were you in your little Lost game?
FebruarySong: The island-disease bruise is gone. Anyway, I was very happy to see Desmond come back at the end of season two, too. I love my Dezzy. Until the whole Charlie-you're-gonna-die-brotha thing. But I still love him to death. He's a sweetie. He and Charlie ARE an awesome team. (Sorry, my denial kicked in.)
Live Fast Die Never: Yeah, Lost is like…drama drama drama tragedy drama drama drama omg sawyer or jack drama hurley said something funny tragedy drama drama drama sawyer or jack! Sigh. Sawyer and Jack need to die! Well, not Sawyer. Or Jack, for that matter. Well, Kate just needs to PICK someone so we can be OVER the Skate and Jate war and go back to what's important…like bringing Charlie back to life!
Falafel-fiction: Ok, so, I LOVE the idea of Charlie haunting the living Losties. That would be brilliant. And Artz! Of course Artz will be coming soon! As will Joanna, so she can join their little drowning club.
LostBluePhantom: Ahhhg there're so many dead people on Lost! You're right…I need Locke's dad and Jack's dad and Yemi and the guy who lived down the street from Michael when he was twelve…too many people! Oh, and I also need both of the Tom's. Tom as in Mr. Friendly and Kate's Tom. Sigh.
Missing Whisper: Oh, the reason why Libs is in the psych ward will never be explained! The writers always say they will. Liars.
Spice Of Life: Every time I hear Good Vibrations I DO cry…inside. And it's such a little happy song, too. But it killed Charlie! Killed him! I was in Coldstone, getting ice cream, and it started playing there. I was like "Oh, damn it! Shut up." My ice cream lady looked really scared. And it also played in Kings Island when I was there…I was singing along with it and my friend is like "Hannah! Move on!"
Angel of Music Lover: I got this review right after I added in the other ones, so you're lucky I love a stranger enough to go out of my way and include you! I like your screen name...that must mean you like Phantom of the Opera. Great musical! And you're not alone...I get sad when I see Charlie's name on stuff too.