Pain's house isn't a traditional one. It sits in a crevice within the center of the city, with a steep, metal slope leading to the entrance stairs. On the outside, it could have been a warehouse. Tall, steel, and ugly, it shoots from the earth and towers over its neighbors, even those on higher levels. The first few floors have no windows, but at its peak are strips of dark glass in place of metal walls. Below are canals to keep the floor from flooding, and litters of decimated bodies.
I sink low between Ryu and Koto, studying the bloodbath below. Rebels and loyal Rain shinobi alike lay dead among one another. The front doors of Pain's metal mansion lay open. I frown, straining to hear something from the inside. If rebels have gotten in, they'd be causing havoc all throughout the building, but the only sounds of fighting come from far away, from the gate.
I wonder briefly if my mother broke those doors.
"We should make sure she's not among the dead first," Ryu says, deflecting my glare with ease. "You know it's true."
"Stop being so pessimistic," I grumble, and throw myself over the ledge. Away from him and away from his heavy stare.
It doesn't take long. My mother isn't here, but she was. I shudder as I brush my hands over a dead man's skull. The entire back of it is crushed, soft and squishy where there should be unyielding bone. Biting my tongue to calm my gag relax, I stand, scanning the others.
"She isn't here," Tsuna confirms, sighing as she says it. My temple throbs.
"Don't sound too disappointed," I growl, turning before she can gape at me. I stalk toward the front door.
"Madara, don't take your anger out on us," Ryu says calmly, but I ignore him, too. He doesn't want to be here either.
"She has every right to be angry," Koto answers as he moves to join me. Ryu watches him without replying, his eyes steady and dark. Koto stops next to me. "Lead the way."
I almost beam. I almost turn around and stick my tongue out at the two of them. Ryu and my sister. See, I almost say. He trusts me. But I don't. I don't do any of that. Instead, I nod. I turn. I sneak inside.
Not much sneaking is needed, though. I've been in Pain's mansion before, when I was very little, but what I see here is nothing like what I remember. Before, servants were always rushing diligently to and fro, and shinobi stood watch at every doorway. The lobby had been lit by huge glass chandeliers from far off countries, and ornate rugs and paintings gave life to the steel walls and floor. Staircases of stone lined the walls and marble archways framed every entrance and exit.
Now, all its glory is in ruin. Vases smashed, tables upturned, artwork torn, chandeliers crashed to the ground. Even the stairways have been left with gaping holes.
"Well, we know she's been here," I mutter, inching further into the darkness. There's no sign of life anywhere, but I'm hesitant to relax yet. "She must already be below."
"How do we get there?" Tsuna asks, and everyone turns to me. I blink at them. "You do remember, don't you?"
"It's not exactly something one just forgets," I deadpan, and then roll my eyes exasperatedly before she can glower at me again. "Jeez, just don't stare at me like that. Come on."
Their eyes on me like that takes me back. Reminds me too much of everyone's gazes on me when I was a child. Of how the villagers would whisper of my progress in training and how Pain would always watch and how everyone always knew more about my life than I did and how they were always waiting for me to do something brilliant. As I lead our party through the demolished building, I try to clear my head of the memories. Now isn't the time to remember. Now isn't the time to lose it.
But the darkness is there, slowly approaching, held at bay by the fresh drugs in my system. I can feel it, my sanity at the breaking point. There are only so many snaps I can take, only so many recoveries I can make before I lose it. Really lose it. Somewhere, deep down, I know that.
There will be a day when I can't come back.
I don't like thinking about it; I don't see much of a point after all. All it ends up doing is making it too hard to try. Too hard to care. But the last few days have been long and given me much time, and in solitude, it's difficult not to dwell on the awful things I typically ignore.
The basement is hidden in a beautifully decorated office—or an office that used to be beautiful. It, too, is nothing of its former state. In fact, it's almost unrecognizable and I fear my memory has failed me. But I creep inside, and beneath the debris, I find the latch to the secret door. Right where it's always been.
I descend silently, before anyone protests, knowing full well they'll follow without complaint. It's too late to say anything. In this narrow stairwell, even a whisper will carry for miles down.
We keep on, following each other closely. When it gets too dark, I activate my Sharingan so I can make out the steps in front of me. I have a feeling the others may be doing the same. Except Ryu, of course. Ryu doesn't. Can't. Because he's perfection epitomized.
Perfection. I frown. There can't really be such a thing, can there? Perfect implies limitlessness. And doesn't everything have a limit? My sanity. Suke's strength. Ryu's skill. Mother's pain.
I blink. That's it. Pain. He must also have a limit.
The stairs lead us to a sterile white hall, an eerie place reminiscent of my recent time in the hospital. I bite my lip as we pause at the foot of the steps, hesitating. As far as I can tell, this place is untouched. Did Pain come here when he found me missing? Didn't my mother?
"Should we start checking the rooms?" Tsuna wonders out loud, voice low, but not a whisper. The hiss of a whisper is too loud here. I hesitate to move forward, scanning the undisturbed maze that lies unwelcomingly before us. "He could be anywhere, right?"
"No…" I murmur, taking the first step forward. "There's a certain place…"
A place where my nightmares find refuge. A place that sits in the darkest parts of my mind. This place I can't forget, that I never want to see again, that will make me lose it. Lose myself.
"Madara…" Ryu touches my shoulder. I flinch away, not meaning to, and realize I'm shaking.
"It's close."
The white of the halls envelops me, leaves me blinded. I can see Pain before me, just as he was that day, that first crystal clear day. That day when the skies were miraculously clear and my mother smiled like she meant it for the first time in years. I can see his horridly marred face, as it was as he stood at the foot of the stairs and smiled with frigid deadliness, with promises and warnings, with those terrifying eyes. The Rinnengan.
At the time, I thought they were beautiful. Lovely with their soft lavender color, fascinating with the way they ringed from the pupil out. I don't know what my young mind recognized in those eyes, but I was instantly, immediately enraptured by him. Enraptured by Pain.
Somehow, my hand ended up in his, and he just kept smiling, and he led me—and in doing so, my mother—from the foyer through one room, then another, to an elegant, unique sitting room. Here, everything was made of glass. Hand-blown, professionally sculpted, so Pain told us. Told my mother. Making conversation. Like she cared about anything but my hand in his. The walls were still steel, but they were painted in beautiful pastel murals and layered with a sheen of glass. Plants and flowers framed the room and hung from the ceiling. Caged birds of every color chirped brightly in the corners and tiny fountains trickled all around us. There were glass bookshelves, glass lamps, glass doors, glass tables, and even glass furniture. The three of us—Naru, Suke, and I—were delighted. I tore myself from Pain, and chased after my brothers to fling myself onto the long couch. It was covered in soft white cushion, but the back and arms were purely glass. The cages were glass, the fountains were glass, the tea set on the glass table was glass, the pots and vases were glass, the ceiling and floor were glass. Everything. Was. Glass.
He sat us down in his beautiful glass room, where the entire world glinted, shimmered, shone, glowed. He took his place on the couch, too, and pulled the three of us close to him. Me on his lap. Mother sat in a chair nearby. Her face pale. Her eyes lost. Her hands stone. Her smile gone.
"You have such lovely children, Sakura," he purred, his voice low and grumbling, the kind that made his chest tremble against my ear. I could hear his heart thud. Couldn't hear the meaning behind his words. "So lucky for you to be able to raise them in a place where everything is so lovingly provided for them."
The halls are white underground. White like the white of her eyes.
"Yes, Itachi and I are very grateful," she replied. Her voice was small and weak and quiet. I didn't notice. I was too busy listening to his heartbeat.
It's fast and furious in my ears as I take one slow, steady step at a time. I can't hear the others behind me. But I know they're there. Tell myself they're there. Promise myself they're there. They're there. They are. They are. They're there.
"It'd be such a shame if they couldn't be here with us," he murmured, his fingers in my hair. Stroking lightly. Slowly. "Especially Madara. She brings such light to this bleak war."
We're passing doors. One by one, but none of them are right. None of them are it. I would know if they were. I'll know when we pass. I'll know. Know like I know they're still with me. Still behind me. Still following.
"She's a very special girl," my mother agrees. Her voice catches. I look up.
It's there. There. There. That one on the right. At the end. Do you see it? Are you still here? We're almost there. Stay with me just a little longer.
"Special indeed. In fact, I'd love to see what she's truly capable of."
My hand reaches out. My skin touches the metal. My fingers curl around the bar.
"Please…you already have Koto."
I pull.
"She's already mine."
"Madara, no!"
The agony is dull and the world is muted, but the white is bleeding bright, and my eyes are growing foggy. Blind. Someone's screaming, and I think it's me, might be me, should be me, because that would make sense.
Even if.
Nothing ever.
Makes sense.
Shika is here. I know that much. Can feel him. Like I feel the kunai burning through my eye. I assume it's a kunai. I can't see it. I'm scared to touch it. I'm on my hands and knees, want to puke, want to die, want to burn, want to burst, want to erupt.
I do.
It happens quicker this time, and it flows through me like liquid, like blood, like it simply belongs there. I hiss as it floods me, and I hear him, him, him, but he isn't loud enough, no, needs to be loud enough, but he isn't, because he doesn't understand, can't comprehend, he hurt me, he defied me, he pressed too far.
Sound crackles back to life as the armor snaps into place and the inferno spreads its wings from my back with a scalding, sickening pop. I stand, tense, wavering, then dash forward without feeling the floor at my feet.
They were fighting. Battling. Him and her. He who destroyed me, she who let him, and I release my power on the both of them. It bursts from my mouth and swallows them, roaring, and yes, oh, that tastes good.
No!
I snarl.
Yes.
My eye still screams, but so does the rest of me now. Water crashes down on me, an entire ocean of it, but it evaporates before it can touch me or my armor. I snap my fangs, long and sharp and piercing my own mouth. Something steel, sharp, large, ricochets off my side. I don't know what. Can't. Can't see.
All I can do is combust and let my power soar, and I do, and it's glorious, and it's perfect, and I want, need nothing else. Can't stop. Don't stop. Yes.
"No!"
The command brings me to my knees. I hear it everywhere, in my head and out, I breathe and swallow that command. I howl, put my head in my hands, fight it. Fight it. I don't know what I'm fighting, or who, but I fight. And when the flames begin to recede and my armor crumbles to dust, I find myself bawling into my hands. And the tears cannot stop.
"Madara!"
No, no. Don't say my name. Don't look at me. Look at what I've done. I don't deserve any of you. Go away.
"Madara, look at me!"
"I can't!" I scream, and I hate myself. I can feel rain in my hair, on my neck, how dareI pity myself? How can I possibly?
"Damn it, Madara, you look at me and stop crying this second or I will tear you apart!"
I look up.
"Mom?" I gasp, and there she is, grabbing my shoulders, right there, green eyes blazing, what the hell?
"Pull yourself together," she snaps, and I still don't know how she's here, but her chakra is invading my throbbing left eye, and she holds me in place when I whine and pull away. Solid. Real. "Pain ran. We have to catch up."
"No!" Ryu shouts. I almost start crying again, except I haven't stopped yet. "We came for you, not him. The countries are close; they'll take care of him. We need to get out of here. Get Madara out of here."
"She's already injured," Tsuna sighs. She's a ways away. Healing herself. "That probably isn't repairable."
"Maybe not with my ninjutsu," Sakura breaths, releasing her jutsu and reaching around to untie my hitai-ate. "But the Ten-Tails has extraordinary power."
"She still needs to rest." That's Koto. He's quiet. Thank God. "Ame is falling. By tomorrow, it will be in ruin. We need to hide. Protect the Uchiha line."
"I don't give a damn about the Uchiha line!" Sakura yells, so abruptly, I flinch as she tightens the cloth over my damaged eye. It makes it easier to see that way, with my left eye only. I stare at her, watch as she closes her eyes and sighs. Finally, she turns to Koto. "You don't need me for that. Take them. I'll go on my own."
"No, Mom!" I gasp, shaking my head frantically. "We came just for you! Naru and Suke and I…we still need you! Please don't go again!"
Her eyes hold something I've never seen before. But I've felt it. I know that look. It's the thing that keeps me from dying.
"Go to Konoha."
"Oh my god," I breathe, and I don't even hesitate.
I scramble, trip, fall, crawl across the floor to where he lies. He's torn open, bloody, barely alive, and seeing him, him, Shika, makes everything else disappear. I see only him, touch only him, want, need, love only him. He reaches out to meet my hand halfway, and I bite through my bottom lip when broken fingers thread mine.
"You're an awful lot of trouble for a girl," he mutters, and I choke back a laugh and pull him to me gently. With impossible care. "Ah!"
"I know," I whisper, pressing my lips to his forehead. I do know. I know this pain. This is the room. That room. "I know…"
If anything, I'm glad I destroyed it.
"Go to Konoha," he repeats, and looks up at me, determined through this torture. "My dad will help you."
"No," Sakura interrupts, and when I look at her, she's full-out glaring at us. At him. At herself. "I will not seek refuge from those I abandoned."
"You have more pride than any Uchiha," Shika observes with a drawn out sigh.
"It's isn't pride," she answers quietly, her glare fading. "It's respect."
It's raining. My power blew a gaping hole right through the earth, through the building above us. I don't know how the tower is still standing, isn't crumbling down on top of us—the foundation must be ridiculously strong. How any of them are still alive is yet another mystery. I destroyed so much. I cradle Shika in my arms. Scarred, broken, beautiful Shika.
"Who is Sasuke?" I ask.
My mother's jaw pops open, just like that. For a moment, she is speechless.
"What?" she gapes, no breath in her voice. My heart lurches. She does know.
"Sasuke," I say slowly, watching her hard mask fall. "Who is he?"
"Where did you hear that name?" She's. Horrified.
"You have to come with us now," I breathe. "I have to know."
"Madara, who told you that name?" she growls. Now she's furious.
The explosion that answers rocks our feet and rains debris on our heads. I shield Shika instinctively, who groans at the unwelcome movement, but I don't let up when I feel the dust smatter my scalp and neck. At any moment, that dust could be stone or steel, and I can't let Shika be hurt any more than he already has. I will protect him. He's all that matters right now.
"That came from the main gate," Tsuna breathes, as soon as the earth stills again. Her eyes are wide, and on our mother. "Mom, that's where Naru and Suke are. That's where Dad is."
She looks torn, but I bet it's Suke that wins her over. His name is like a bomb in my family. Drop it, and surrender soon follows.
"Fine," she says, getting to her feet and beginning to make her way to the nearest exit. Over her shoulder, she calls, "But we need to hurry. I will not be here when Konoha's forces arrive."
I breathe out slowly, but smile after a moment in triumph.
"You heard her," Ryu says softly, and I start and twist to find him standing right over me. Right over me. Enough so that… He rubs the back of his head tenderly as he observes me—us—coolly and without comment, and then turns to follow my mom. "Better hurry."
Blood trickles along his spine.
With every step, he limps.
Mom won't talk to me.
Ryu won't let me heal him.
Ten-Tails won't respond when I call.
It's harder than I realized to see with just one eye.
Shika keeps falling even though Tsuna and I are holding him up.
My plan would have been so much better.
With one eye, my depth perception is entirely thrown off. I have to adjust my body weight in weird ways when I walk or if I jump more than a few feet. My Sharingan is somehow still activated, I think, so all the chakra there is pulsating powerfully enough to distract me, give me a terrible migraine. It's like it's stuck there and can't get back into the regular flow with the rest of my chakra. I keep reaching in myself for the Ten-Tailed Demon, but he's somewhere far from me. I can just barely feel his presence lurking in my depths.
It's the beads, I know it. When we began to move out, Koto told me to take them off, and when I hesitated, he marched over to do it himself. He was angry. So angry. I think it was mostly at himself, though, and as he snatched up my arm and twisted me toward him, I couldn't help but think he looked so much like dad.
And a little bit like the boy in my dreams.
We quickly discovered, though, that removing the pearls would be no easy task. Where once they had rested, lifeless, coiled snugly around my arm, they are now embedded into my skin, melding with me. My flesh has consumed nearly half of each black pearl, and looking down at it makes me gag. It should hurt. I should be able to feel it. But only when I look down am I reminded that I am slowly being taken over by yet another force. Another predator that hunts down the remaining fragments of my sanity.
I know the kunai wasn't meant for me. Mom and Pain were just getting going when I opened the door. So Shika tells me. Pain had come down, barking commands at him as he unlocked his shackles—chains I remember myself, from those days. Shika had only been partially awake. Drugged, dreary, and barely lucid. Pain was saying something about his father, about bait, about Madara. Before he could make any sense of it all, my mother had arrived, and they conversed only briefly—leaving Shika on the floor, who can't remember a word of what they said—before they went at it. And then he'd heard someone scream my name.
"Only when I saw you…" he forces out. It's hard for him to speak at all as we limp awkwardly along Ame. People who pass us are far and few between, and they ignore us more or less. Most are citizens who flee from us in fear. Some are shinobi, but they have other places to be, or they're on our side. "Only then could I find the strength to move…but then you went berserk again. It took me a second to be able to call out to you. To stop you."
"I thought it was you…" I murmur, to myself, so Ryu or Koto won't hear. Whatever jutsu binds Shika and I…it was him who brought me back. "Do you know? About…this?"
"The jutsu?" he grunts. I frown. Mom should heal him. She's still far ahead, leading the way, getting farther every second. "Only from Pain. I mean, I felt it when we met, but I thought I was just falling for a really strange, really pretty kunoichi from Rain. I had no clue we were programmed to feel this way until Pain started torturing me."
It's on my tongue, but "sorry" won't come out.
"Ryu knew," I say quietly. He passes me a glance, but the pain diverts his attention once more just as quickly.
"Your boyfriend?" he asks, and I flinch. And then I flinch because I flinched.
"He's not…" He gives me a fair minute to continue, but I can't.
"I'm not my father, but I'm not stupid, Madara," he laughs, shaking his head. "Neither of us can deny what's between us, but it isn't…real. It's manufactured. What you have with Ryu? I can't say I understand it, but that's real. You can trust that. Us? I'd like to say our bond is that of…partners. We'll be there for each other, trust each other, care for each other. But never more than that. Just…friends."
If I keep staring at him, I'm bound to trip over something.
"Things aren't supposed to be that simple," I say quietly. He smirks his awkward, one-corner smile.
"Sometimes, they can be."
As a genin, and as someone without much skill, most of my missions have been team efforts, with one or two enemies at best. Occasionally, I end up going head-to-head with an opponent on my own, but I've never been "sent into battle". Koto has. Tsuna has. My father has. But I have never seen war first hand.
Not like this.
If nothing else, it's dizzying. Everyone's moving at top speed, metal is flying, jutsus are being sent in every direction, and everywhere, people are dropping like flies. I've never seen so many people dying and dead, losing their lives in elegant synchronization with foe and friend alike, hearts stopping only a beat or two before or after the other. Sometimes within the very same breath. The rain is as merciless as the shinobi. It's hard to see, hard to walk, hard to fight. And in the distance, I can see another army.
Before I can blink, my mom is suddenly grabbing me, pulling me and Shika behind a wall that's already crumbling from all the hits it's taken. That explosion—whatever it was—blew a hole right through Ame's walls. The high, stone-and-steel defenses that held me captive here for years. The ones I never fathomed escaping. Gone. Just like that.
"Mom, what are you doing?" I huff as she shoves us in a corner, artfully hidden from anyone's eyes.
"You two can't be a part of this," she says, cutting me off as soon as I open my mouth to protest. "No, Madara. You are not fighting here. We'll come get you when we can get you out of here."
"Why does everyone keep making these decisions for me!" I yell after her, but she's already gone. I fume, but I don't follow her. I turn to Shika. He looks miserable. I kneel at his side, where he's leaning against the wall, face scrunched, body coiled. "What hurts the most?"
"Don't," he manages, then nods, with one eye still shut, toward my face. "Work on your eye instead."
"Shika," I say firmly, with the tone I once heard my mom use on Naru when we were kids. "My eye is fine. You are on the brink of death."
"Your eyes are more important than my life," he gasps. I purse my lips.
"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say in my life," I snap. "You tell me right now, Shika."
"Everything, Madara," he groans, giving me that look. "Everything hurts."
"Well fine," I mutter, place my hands on his chest, and close my eyes.
I don't know how I'm going to do this. I still have some chakra, but most of it is still focused on my eye, and it burns when I try to use it. So I reach deep inside me, deeper than I've ever reached, and scream for the Ten-Tails. I scream with all my energy, all my might, everything I'm made of. I will him to hear me, wish for it more than I have ever dared.
And still, he doesn't answer.
But the beads do.
Wrapped around my arm, they shiver where they're embedded in my skin, stir to life and begin to squirm even deeper. A flash of rage blinds me, fills me with hellish heat, and I cry out—this rage…it's not mine. They burn and blister my flesh, each one spiking me with renewed feelings of fury. Fury I've never felt before. Fury I don't want. I groan, cry, try to rip them out, but they're stuck. Firm. Burning. They're taking over.
I don't want to heal Shika. I want to devour him. Take his fragile neck and snap it between my hands. Want his flesh in my teeth, his blood down my throat, his chakra in my belly. I want him.
But I love him, and how could I hurt him? Why? Because I can. Because he'll be delicious and satisfying and because nothing will stop me. Nothing can stop me. Us. But I don't want to. Yes we do.
Yes. We do.
A heat brighter than any demon erupts through me so suddenly, I scream. We scream. They scream. Through me, through my mouth, but it's not me. It's them. The demons inside. Me? I love this heat. It's warm and beautiful and powerful and innocent. It wraps me up and shields me from them. Burns them away. Burns them to nothing. To ash and dust and nothing.
I'm in myself again. Like when I speak to the Ten-Tails. Or when I use the Mangekyo. Or when I dream.
Except this world is made of white. There is nothing but the white; it overtakes everything around me. And it isn't like the white of Pain's halls or the hospital. It's a brand new white, a white that's never been touched, a natural white. It's beautiful and brilliant. I bathe in it. Wide-eyed and frozen as I am, I let it wash over me. Let it cleanse me through.
I don't know if I'm expecting it when he appears. I don't think I am, but his appearance doesn't surprise me. He comes out of the white, as suddenly as if he was always there. A tall, handsome young man with sun-colored hair, gold-touched skin, and sky-blue eyes. He has a strong face, a masculine build, and a sweet, kind smile that makes me want to cry. I've never seen a more beautiful smile.
"You don't have to be afraid," he says, and while he doesn't actually move to touch me, I can feel his embrace in his words. "You have the power to make things better."
"No, I don't," I argue, shifting my weight and crossing my arms. "I don't have any power at all. The Ten-Tails won't even listen to me. It's like he's gone."
"Not that kind of power, Madara," he says softly, and leans forward to poke my chest. "You have strength here."
"How?" I sigh. His eyes are easy to lose my doubts in.
"We all have strength in our hearts," he tells me, and for a moment, he looks sad. "Sometimes, it's just that some hearts are full of darkness, too. And the darkness makes it hard to find the light."
"And the light is our strength?" I sniffle, and he nods, taking back his hand. I tilt my head at him. "You're Naruto, aren't you?"
His smile is full of sorrow.
"Yes, I am," he says, nodding. "So, I can't say I know exactly what you're going through. I grew up with the Kyuubi sealed inside me. I didn't know until I was twelve. I didn't know why everyone hated me until then. But it made me determined to prove everyone wrong."
"Did you?" I ask. He shrugs.
"I don't really know," he admits, but when he stretches and places both hands behind his head, I think he's just being modest. He lifts his eyes above us, and I follow his gaze. I don't know what he sees, but all I see is the white. "I hope so, but I didn't really get a chance to find out. But that's okay. It's nice here, too."
"Here?" I blink, then suck my bottom lip between my teeth. "It doesn't look very nice from my Mangekyo."
"The Sharingan distorts many beautiful things," he sighs, not sounding angry…or bitter…just…
"You're right," I murmur, then look back at him. He's watching me again. "Did you know Sasuke?"
I have never seen a look like the one that comes over his face. It is full of sadness and pain and fear and regret and hope, and above all else, it is brimming with the purest love.
"Yes, I know Sasuke," he says, so very quietly. Like my mom when she talks about Konoha.
"Know?" I repeat. "I thought he might be dead."
"He is," he says, a small smile curling his lips.
"Is he with you? Wherever you go when you die?" I ask, and when he gives a short nod, I feel a rush of happiness. For Naruto, for Sasuke, and for myself. One day, I might meet him. "Who was he?"
Now, he pauses.
"Your mother…" he says slowly. "You should ask her."
"I have!" I say. "She won't answer me! I thought I liked her like this…strong. A kunoichi. But now she just keeps shoving me aside!"
"She's scared," he explains. "Sakura's lost so much in this war. She doesn't want to lose you, too. She's hurting a lot. She has been for years."
"Does she hurt because of you?" I ask.
"Maybe. But I think she hurts for Sasuke more."
"Why?"
"Because she loved him."
I remember seeing the three of them. My mom, young and smiling and pretty. Naruto, grinning, and much smaller than he is now. And Sasuke. The brooding, dark-haired young man with eyes just like Koto's.
Sasuke, will you walk home with me?
Naruto's so annoying, Sasuke! He hates me! And I hate him!
Sasuke…
Sasuke?
Sasuke!
I shake my head. Naruto is staring.
"But…if you…" I gather my thoughts. "Shikamaru, the Hokage…he said you loved my mom. But she loved Sasuke? Did she hate you? Weren't you on a team?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much how it was," he laughs and grins. "But I think I got her to stop hating me."
"Well, who did Sasuke love?" I wonder. He tilts his head.
"I think…" he pauses, then continues on another soft breath, "Sasuke loved his brother. That's why…"
"Tell me!" I cry, but he shakes his head. I huff. "Is he dead, too?"
"No…" Naruto whispers. That look only deepens in his eyes. "No, he isn't."
"Well, who is he?" I growl. Still, he's silent. "I mean, do I know him? Is he important?"
"Be strong, Madara," he says, and it's only now I realize he's fading.
"No!" I cry out, but when I reach out to him, my hands pass right through his body. "Please don't go! I'm not ready for you to leave yet! I don't know what to do!"
"You will," he promises, and rests a hand atop my head. Somehow, I feel it. "You're strong, Madara. You'll know what to do. Follow your heart."
"But what about the darkness?" I whimper. He ruffles my hair gently.
"The trick is choosing to be the light," he whispers. "If you need me, I'm always with you."
Instinctively, I reach up to grasp my pendant, his pendant—our pendant—between my fingers. He nods. I can barely see him now. But he's right. The more he vanishes before me, the more I feel him inside me. It's such a familiar presence, I welcome him gladly back within. I know this feeling. I never knew it was him all along. The thread keeping me from falling. Now, it's even stronger. Hands grabbing mine and lifting me from the brink.
Thank you.
And just like that, I'm back at war.
I don't know how I do it, but I fix Shika. I give all the credit to Naruto's renewed strength in me, as though his chakra has combined with mine. Maybe it's the Ten-Tails, because he's back, too, purring deep and powerfully and filling me with his restorative powers. They pour from him to me to Shika, and I fill him with new life.
He heals my eye, too. A part of me isn't surprised, but I let out a long breath of gratitude when I pull my hitai-ate into the correct position and am able to blink the starry darkness from my sight. I lift my hand to touch it, and while I still feel the dried blood and pus from before, I smile. No gash, no fresh wound, no oozing. That's good.
"Looks good as new," Shika breathes, and I grin at him. I don't know why. I just feel like grinning.
"So do you," I return, and it's true. He does. He smiles awkwardly.
"Nothing like a fully functional body," he agrees, and I can feel his genuine relief beneath his chuckle. He's stretching, testing his strength, and I give him the time he needs until he drops to a squat in front of me. "You ready for this?"
"I'm not afraid," I whisper. He blinks. "Of the Ten-Tails… I feel like… I think I'm okay now."
He nods. He smiles. He stands and extends his hand to me.
"Then let's finally show Pain what you can do."
As I was re-reading this for a last edit and check, I believe I shall claim this to be my favorite chapter thus far. Possibly of anything I've written before. I've hidden a lot of special, secret meanings in a lot of this that some of you may be able to catch and appreciate. I hope so. But really, I'm proud of this. I know some people don't like the writing style I use for this story, but alas. I love it. It's different, and it's always good for a writer to try different things.
I don't know much else of what to say, other than I hoped you enjoyed, and as always, I hope you review.
And here's hoping my writer's block goes away soon. :P
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