Chapter Ten – The Truth

Still Monday, 11am

Dear Diary,

After that I still struggled to escape, but more and more half-heartedly, because I really did want to know the truth, the truth behind Norman's strange behaviour. Norman started pulling me towards the direction of his house up on the hill. "Where are you taking me?" I asked frantically.

"You'll see," Norman said. When we finally got to the door after a long flight of stairs, he opened it and pulled me inside the house. It was a large house, no doubt about that, but as I said it was the perfect place for a murder. I got more and more scared as he pulled me up more stairs, to the upstairs floor, but I would have followed anyway. I really did have to know the truth, however frightening it might be. He led me through a door and into the room. The very room that I had seen the dark figure at the window from downstairs.

There was indeed someone sitting at the window, but perfectly still, on a chair turned to face outside. "This is what I was hiding from you, what I did not want to tell you," Norman said and quickly went up to the chair. I waited because my feet seemed glued to the spot. I couldn't move. For one thing I was too scared to move. I had no idea what would happen now.

When Norman turned the chair around I got the biggest shock of my entire life. Instead of a face, I saw a mouldering skeleton sitting on the chair!

As soon as I saw this, I screamed as loud as I could and started to run away. I ran back down the flights of stairs, tripping up on the way, and got to the door. I heard Norman chasing after me. What would he do if he caught me, I thought, my mind racing. Would he kill me? I could barely believe what I had just seen and I was half expecting myself to wake up sometime soon and find that this had all been just a bad dream. That's what I was hoping at least. My heart was pounding as I ran out of the house. I had never been more scared in my whole life.

As soon as I ran out of the door I felt an arm grab me from round my waist and I screamed again and struggled to break free. But Norman held on to me tightly. "Don't scream," he told me urgently. "Please don't scream. I can explain."

"Let me go!" I shouted again. "Get away from me, you psycho!"

He tried to restrain me again and finally I just gave up, waiting for whatever he would do to me. "Listen! Would you just listen to me!" he shouted. I stood perfectly still in his grip, breathing hard. "OK," he said. "I will let you go now, please do not run away. You wanted me to explain, and I will. I promise you that I will not do anything bad to you. Will you promise me that you won't run away?"

I stayed silent, not being able to talk since I was so scared. "Do you promise me?" he repeated a bit louder. I nodded vigorously. "Yes, I promise," I whispered in fear. I was too scared to do anything else anyway.

"OK," Norman started off, and slowly let go of my arms. I was glued to the spot again. "Yes, it is true," he continued. "I was the one who killed my mother because she was driving me so crazy. She was so strict with me and I thought that she did not even love me. I poisoned her tea and killed her one time. It was, as you said yourself, a sudden act of craziness. But the only thing was that I stayed like that. After I had killed her, my mind just got so twisted and I stayed like that. You must have realised, all those things I was talking to you about, I was talking about myself, not my mother." He stopped there, while I still didn't speak, just looked at him in horror.

Then he carried on, more gently than before. "And now, the only time I ever truly started to feel better - the only time I ever started to really feel well, in fact, when I started to finally see sense again – was when I met you. You were so kind and so beautiful and you ended up being the only person that I ever truly cared about. You showed me what it feels like to truly love someone, and you are the only one who has ever been able to do that. And before you say anything else, yes, I am in love with you, I always have been, and I do desperately want you to stay with me. But as I realised what I had done I was just…more and more afraid to tell you my secret."

He stopped there and sighed deeply. He waited for what I would say. For a few moments I didn't say anything. I was much too shocked to speak. As I slowly realised what had happened, tears were silently spilling down my cheeks. In a way, I was still terrified. But in another way, finally finding out Norman's secret was like a huge weight was lifted off my back. I had finally found out why he was acting strange all this time. I kind of knew that it would be something like this, something that would shock me. He was, after all, full of surprises! But I still couldn't believe it.

"Forgive me," he told me when I didn't say anything. "Forgive me for not telling you earlier, but obviously I didn't want to scare you because I love you so much. I was trying to tell you about it without actually showing you, but I thought that maybe that would be even worse. I could just never find the right words. I know it may seem shocking, but I really did kill my mother. But I would never dream of doing anything bad to you."

With that he took me in his arms and held me tightly. But I still couldn't speak. I simply stared at him because I was still very scared. I couldn't believe what had just happened here, what he had just explained to me. I was shaking in his arms, and now I realised that that feeling of protectiveness and security that I had felt when we had lain together before, had gone. In fact now I had a completely opposite feeling, a feeling of fright and anxiousness. However much I still loved him, because I must admit that I still loved him, now I felt frightened. But I was in complete shock.

When Norman realised that I still wasn't saying anything, he looked at me right in the eyes, and I looked back at him with a completely blank expression on my face. The shock of what I had seen inside Norman's house was starting to come over me. I hadn't noticed it before, but now all sorts of muddled thoughts that didn't make any sense to me were going in and out of my head.

"Marion?" Norman asked me worriedly. "Can you hear me?"

I very gently moved my head. I think he took that as a yes, because he looked relieved. "Are you all right?" he continued gently. "Did you understand what I told you?"

Again I gave a tiny nod, but I still didn't speak. Norman still looked worried. "Do you want to go back down to the office?" he asked me anxiously. I didn't answer this time; I just moved my eyes around. So with little other choice he slowly led me back down the pathway, his arms holding me protectively round my shoulders close to him. I was still shaking all over, this time simply because I was scared. I couldn't believe what he had shown me; what I had seen in his house had made nearly all those feelings of safety go away.

"I really am so sorry Marion," Norman whispered to me softly. "I'm sorry for scaring you so much. Don't forget that I love you. You'll be all right, don't worry."

When we got back down to Norman's office he slowly sat me down on the sofa and held me tightly. He gently kissed my hair. That feeling of his lips was the only thing I could feel right then, even though some of those thoughts in my mind were starting to make sense. The picture of the corpse I had seen in Norman's house kept coming back to my head.

"You're still shaking, are you cold?" Norman asked me.

After a few minutes I finally managed to speak again. "A…a little," I stuttered.

"I'll bring you a blanket," Norman said and got up and walked out of the room. Meanwhile my mind was slowly coming back to me, and I remembered what had happened. But then I suddenly felt anxious. What was I doing, just sitting here when I knew that Norman could kill me at any time? But still, deep down I knew that however scared I felt, I could never make myself fall out of love with Norman. I would always love him, I would always feel safe around him, even if I knew that he was a killer. I had realised that by now. After a few minutes Norman came back with a blanket and a mug of coffee and smiled at me. I gave a tiny smile back and he came back to the sofa and wrapped the blanket round me and handed me the mug. "Are you warm enough?" he asked.

"Yes, I think I'm OK now. …Thank you," I said slowly.

We sat silently for a few minutes, I suppose because neither of us really had anything much to say. I had understood everything that Norman had told me up on the hill. He had reassured me that he loved me and that he would never harm me in any way. But still, I couldn't help having doubts somewhere in my mind. I fidgeted on my seat as Norman sat with an arm round me. I had managed to stop shaking now, but I still looked anxiously at Norman.

"Marion, please say something," Norman said quietly.

I slightly shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I don't really have much to say," I said. "Of course I understand what you told me up there but…I still can't believe it of you, Norman. I mean, I…I trusted you, I trusted you more than I've ever trusted anyone before and now this…" my voice trailed off and I took a sip from the coffee and tried to calm down.

Norman sighed and stayed silent, and then he took his arm off my shoulders and moved away from me.

"No don't take your arm away," I told him suddenly. "Please hold me. I need you."

Norman quickly came back and put his arm round me again. "I know you trusted me, Marion, and I don't want that to go away," he told me. "I really want you to trust me and to love me like you did before because I love you more than anything. Of course…of course I understand if you want to leave now," he continued sadly.

"No," I said quickly. "I would never leave you now. I've always loved you, ever since I saw you that night. It seems like a hundred years ago to me right now you know, that time we started talking. But I still can't believe that you would murder someone, especially your own mother. I mean…you were the last person I thought would ever murder someone."

"You didn't know my mother," Norman said darkly. "You didn't know what she was like. If you did then I'm sure you would have done the same."

He seemed angry to me, so I quickly continued. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please don't be angry with me."

Thankfully his face softened again and he smiled. "I would never be angry with you, silly," he said, playing with a strand of my hair. "You know that."

I smiled and moved even closer to him, and he gently stroked my shoulder. "Can I tell you something?" Norman asked me seriously.

"Yes of course," I said eagerly.

"You know the other night when I asked you not to go back to your room?" he asked me nervously.

"Yes," Actually I kind of knew what he was going to tell me, even before he said it.

"Well…please don't be scared or anything," he continued quietly. "But the reason I asked you to stay was because I was afraid that…well it wasn't really clear to me then, but I was kind of afraid that I would do something bad to you. That's why I didn't want you to be alone. I just…I wanted to protect you. Without you there with me, I just…I just wouldn't be myself. I wouldn't be able to think clearly. With you, I was just…I felt safe, safer than I've ever felt in my life. But don't take this the wrong way," he told me quickly. "As I said I would never hurt you. I wouldn't hurt you for the world. I love you. And I know this might sound strange but…it was because I love you that I might have tried something. It's just complicated. Please don't ask me any more questions about that."

I was actually not very shocked at what he said. I had always suspected that that was the reason he said that my room was not "safe" as he put it. I had known from then on that he had some serious problems.

"But I'm very glad that you stayed with me that night, regardless of why you stayed," he continued gently. "You were such a great comfort to me that night."

I smiled and nodded. "I understand," I said quietly. I don't know why, but for some reason even with all this going on, I still desperately wanted to stay with him. I think it was because I had always been a little crazy myself! As I remembered now, why else would I steal all that money back home and then run away without even knowing what I was going to do with it or where I was going to go? I think it takes a pretty crazy person to do that!

"Do you really want to stay with me now?" Norman asked, as if he could read my mind.

"Of course," I smiled again and nodded vigorously. "I would never leave you, Norman."

Then he smiled and hugged me again. "You won't miss your old home?" he asked me.

"Of course not. Not as long as I'm with you," I said. Then he smiled again, but then a thought suddenly snapped into my head and I continued talking. "But you could have told me about all this earlier. You could have told me before. Why didn't you?"

Then he laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen to me. Anyway like I said, I didn't want to scare you or upset you."

I suddenly realised that I was the one who hadn't let him speak before, who hadn't let him explain. I silently laughed to myself. Who was I to have got so angry with him when he was only trying to explain? I was the one who started everything. "I'm really sorry," I continued. "I should have listened to you, forgive me. I should never have said all those things to you, I really was the one who started all this, the one who seduced you. I was just fed up and hurt for some reason. It doesn't even matter now. It's just the way I am. I really am sorry," I finished off.

"Like you said, let's forget it," he said again.

"But I – I really feel horrible about that…" I insisted, because I really did.

"Hush, don't speak any more," he continued, smiling at me and taking my hand. "It's not even important now. I forgive you, just so you know. The only important thing now is that we sorted all this out."

That was the most important thing, I thought. Nothing else mattered now. At least not to me!