As always, I would like to thank all of my readers! Also, a heads up that I'm going to be doing nanowrimo this November, which means I probably won't have too much time to update any of my stories on here, but I will certainly try!

Finally, the time for the long-awaited Yule Ball arrived. Pansy let it be known that Draco had asked her and I couldn't help but feel a small twinge of jealousy. My plan to forget about him wasn't working and I began to feel like I was going mad. It was as if all the hurt between us made me think of him more instead of less.

Lavender was more excited than anyone else I knew. She had picked out her dress as soon as her Hogwarts letter had arrived that summer, opting for a soft pink ballgown. She looked beyond beautiful, as she modeled it for me the night before the dance. She twirled around the room, fantasizing about dancing, when suddenly, she came to a halt. "I don't have a date," she announced, as if she'd forgotten that one, important detail. "You have a date!"

I shrugged. "Only because I have a boyfriend."

Lavender turned to me, her eyes intense and pleading at the same time. "Clara, you HAVE to help me!"

"How am I going to help you find a date?"

She blushed. I should have known. Ron and I had just made up and he had grudgingly accepted that Seamus and I were dating. Now Lavender wanted me to find out if he had a date for the ball.

"I suppose you want me to convince my cousin to ask you?"

"Oh please, Clara, would you?" her eyes were pleading, as she stared straight into mine.

I sighed, seeing no way out. "Far be it for me to not give true love a helping hand," I grinned teasingly as Lavender blushed furiously.

Despite my teasing, I wasn't thrilled about the assignment. I was certain there was a spark between Ron and Hermione and I couldn't help but worry that Lavender would end up with a broken heart. With heavy steps, I made my way down to the common room, hoping that I wouldn't find Ron there. Of course, as was my luck, he was sitting by the fire with Harry. With a deep breath, I made my way over and plopped down in between them.

Harry looked up from his book with a smile. "Hi, Clara."

"Hi, Harry," I smiled back, falling silent in procrastination. Ron looked over at me curiously, waiting for me to speak. Knowing I couldn't sit in silence forever, I gave in. "Harry? Could Ron and I have a moment?"

The two boys looked at each other. Finally, Harry shrugged and left the two of us by ourselves. I could feel Ron's enquiring eyes even without looking at him. There was no turning back now.

"You don't have a date to the ball tomorrow, do you?"

Ron groaned with a pained expression. "Has everyone heard?"

"I think you should ask Lavender."

Ron stared at me for a moment. "Your best mate Lavender?"

I nodded. "The one and only."

Ron thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Why not, haven't got anyone else to go with, have I."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure she'd be thrilled to hear you put it like that."

The day of the ball went by in a blur. All the girls were going crazy, obsessing over the coming night, talking of nothing but their dresses and dates. The only good thing was that Pansy was leaving me alone for once. She was too busy thinking about her appearance to pay me much mind.

When the evening finally came, I made sure to arrive in the entrance hall before Pansy was ready to leave the dormitory. I told myself it wasn't because of Clara, but knew it was a lie. In truth, I was aching to see her. The scene I had caused in potions was still burned into my mind, along with the hurt and anger on her face. Was it guilt or regret I was feeling? Why did I feel bad at all, Clara was the one who had hurt me first. Despite everything, I had been unable to get her out of my head.

Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I hid in the back of the crowd. The sight of Finnigan standing around with Potter and Weasley, waiting for Clara was enough to throw me into a jealous rage. Images of him putting his arms around her, as they twirled around the dancefloor began to plague me.

Taking a few deep breaths, I attempted to calm myself. It was bad enough that I had already had one outburst earlier in the year, I didn't need another. Merlin forbid it lead to more rumors about me and a Gryffindor girl, father would never forgive me.

Finnigan let out an audible gasp, his eyes fixed on something at the top of the stairs. My gaze followed his and had I not been in control of myself, I would have gasped too. Clara stood at the top of the staircase, her best friend by her side, looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her. Her long brown hair, which I had never seen not pulled up, was now cascading down her left shoulder in soft waves. Clad in a beautiful, lavender dress, her green eyes seemed to sparkle, as she began making her way down the staircase. Our eyes met, the smile never leaving her face, and for a brief moment, I could imagine she was my date.

My mind dared to fantasize of how she would walk past the crowd and I would take her hand, much to everyone's shock and dismay. She would smile that radiant smile, as I led her onto the dancefloor and I would wrap my arms tightly around her.

My fantasy shattered in an instant, along with part of my heart, when Clara reached Seamus Finnigan and smiled at him. They exchanged soft words, before she took his arm and let him lead her into the Great Hall. Pain and longing, mixed with anger and jealousy, as I tried to come to grips with reality.

Looking up for a moment, I saw Pansy walking towards me. She was a pretty girl and had outdone herself tonight. The only problem was that she wasn't Clara. I was filled with disappointment, when she took my arm and batted her eyelashes at me. "Come on, Draco, let's make the whole school green with envy."

Both of us bursting with nerves and excitement, Lavender and I made our way down the grand staircase hand in hand. Ron and Seamus were waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs, their jaws ready to drop in awe. I could feel Lavender tensing up with nerves and squeezed her hand to reassure her. Maybe Lavender would be for Ron what Seamus was for me. A healthy way to forget about the people we couldn't be with.

There was a flicker of movement in the corner of my eye. Draco was standing alone in the back of the crowd, staring at me. Conflicting emotions arose in my chest. I wished desperately that I could just walk up to him, have him take my hand and escort me into the Yule Ball. But I knew Seamus was better for me; he was a good person with a kind heart, and with him I always knew what I was getting. With Draco, I didn't even know who he really was. The hurt from his outburst in potions still fresh in my mind, I forced myself to look away.

We reached the bottom of the stairs and my heart made a small leap at the sight of Seamus. He looked handsome in his dress robes, as he looked at me like I was the only girl in the world. I felt the heat of a blush on my cheeks and in that moment, I was sure I had made the right decision in choosing him.

"You're beautiful," he smiled coyly.

"You cleaned up rather nicely, yourself."

With a soft chuckle, Seamus offered me his arm and we stepped through the doors into the Great Hall. In an instant, I was in awe of how the hall had transformed. It was like walking into a magical winter wonderland, which I suspect was the goal. I couldn't deny how romantic the atmosphere was. Seamus and I took our places in the crowd, waiting for the champions to enter and lead everyone in the first dance.

When it was finally time, Seamus took my hand and led me to the floor. His hand coyly on my waist, we began dancing with the other couples. As we twirled around the dancefloor, I kept catching glimpses of Draco standing on the sidelines, Pansy Parkinson on his arm. His eyes were glued to me and Seamus, venom practically spewing out of them. I wondered how long he would be angry with me, how long he would hold on to this toxic attraction between us. There had to come a point when he would make an honest effort- like I was- to escape its clutches.

Eventually, Pansy managed to drag a reluctant Draco to the floor. A pang of jealousy rocked me, as I watched him place his hand on her waist and lead her in a graceful dance. Determined to break the unhealthy cycle, I buried my face in Seamus's shoulder. A small smile forced its way to my lips. Somehow Seamus always managed to smell like freshly cut grass and fireworks. I could feel his grip on my waist tightening and I knew his feelings for me were stronger than mine were.

"Would ye like a drink?" he asked quietly, breaking the spell of the moment.

Reluctantly, I lifted my face once more. "Sure, lead the way."

We wove our way through the crowd, towards the refreshments. I looked at Seamus as he was pouring our drinks. He was exactly the guy I needed to be with. Maybe, eventually, the butterflies would come as intensely as they had with Draco and I would fall head over heels in love with him. That was the moment that I decided not to let Draco Malfoy ruin my magical night. For the first time in a long time, I was able to put him completely out of my head and focus on what was in front of me. Maybe it was the romantic atmosphere of the ball, maybe I was caught up in the moment, but I managed to forget all about how suffocating Seamus had been since we started dating.

The rest of the night went by in a blur of laughter and dancing. Ron and Lavender seemed to be getting along beautifully and I had begun feeling better about having made the match. The feeling in the air was almost intoxicating, all the happiness coupled with the music and decorations. Of course, not everyone was pleased. My heart went out to Harry, sitting on the sidelines, watching Cho Chang who had come with Cedric. Harry's own date had left him hours ago to dance with a dateless Durmstrang boy, not that he had noticed. I nudged Ron gently, hating to interrupt his fun with Lavender. At his inquisitive look, I jerked my head towards Harry. Despite being thick sometimes, Ron understood immediately and whispered something in Lavender's ear, before making his way through the crowd to his best friend. Grabbing Lavender's hand, I pulled her towards us, not wanting her to dance alone. We danced in a threesome, letting ourselves get lost in the fun.

Unfortunately, we couldn't keep dancing all night. My feet grew tired all too soon and all I wanted was to sit down. Seeing no free tables, Seamus and I decided to step outside for a moment. It was a beautiful night. Snow glistened on the ground and the sky was free of all clouds. I looked up at the stars, a peaceful feeling settling in my heart. Something about the fresh air and the smell of whatever season it was could always make me forget about everything. As a small child, dad had called me a nature child and been certain I would excel in herbology. Of course, he had been wrong about that part. Despite my love for nature, I hated working with plants.

I felt Seamus's hand wrap around mine gently, pulling me out of my reverie.

"I had fun tonight," I spoke sheepishly, feeling suddenly nervous.

"It was perfect." His smile and the quiet, gentle tone of his voice caused my stomach to flutter.

In a sudden, bold move, Seamus pulled me closer to him. I looked down at my feet nervously, unsure of how to react. I had managed to avoid kissing him since that first time and I wasn't completely sure I was ready yet. Softly, his fingers touched my chin and nudged my head back upwards. He smiled gently and leaned in close, letting his lips brush against mine, causing me to stop breathing. The kiss was tender and loving, everything you could possibly dream of to end such a magical night.

"I've wanted to do that for months now," he whispered as our lips parted.

I smiled coyly, my cheeks blushing furiously. Feeling for the first time like I was genuinely falling for him. The feeling sent my head spinning and confusion clouded my mind. Was it possible to have strong feelings for two people at the same time?

Seamus and I walked back to the common room together, his hand wrapped gently around mine. With a quick peck on the lips, we said goodnight and I watched him walk up the spiral staircase to the dormitory. As soon as he was out of sight, I broke down. My head was spinning, what was I doing? I had no business falling for Seamus when I couldn't get Draco out of my head. Suddenly I felt an urgent need for air, despite having just been outside. Knowing the ball was still going on and that most students were still downstairs, I made my way to the one, familiar spot where I could most always be alone.

Just as I had expected, the astronomy tower was deserted. Below me in the courtyard, couples who had snuck away from the festivities were huddled together in intimate twosomes. If I were normal, I could have been down there right now too. Instead, I was up here by myself, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. A million thoughts spun around in my head; was I a bad person? Was I being selfish by agreeing to be with Seamus when I clearly had complicated feelings for someone else?

Footsteps echoed behind me. I didn't have to turn to know exactly who it was. I drew a deep breath. It would seem the universe was determined to have me and Draco always wind up alone together. I stared up at the stars, a part of me hoping that he would turn around and walk away if I ignored his presence. A long moment passed in silence, neither one of us budging.

Finally, I gave in and turned to look at him. His face lit up only by the light of the moon, he looked handsome standing there in his dress robes. For a moment, the sight was enchanting, pulling me in and making me want to forget about everything he had done, everything he was.

Draco looked at me with such longing that it almost broke my heart. For the first time in the four years that I'd known him, he seemed utterly vulnerable and open.

"You look beautiful tonight," he finally said, quietly.

A blush spread across my cheeks. He took it as an invitation and stepped closer, his hand brushing against mine just like that first day we passed each other on the train. The sensation brought back the memory of that moment, and the feeling and innocence of first love.

So much had changed since that day. We had learned things about each other, things that made us different, things that should have made us dislike each other. Yet, it was as if our feelings were something we couldn't control, something that had already been decided long before we even met.

Draco looked down into my eyes and I could feel my body begin to tremble from the closeness. "Dance with me?" His request caught me off guard, it didn't exactly seem like the kind of thing Draco Malfoy would want to do. Then again, a lot of things he had done lately struck me as out of character for him.

"We can't go in there and dance in front of everyone."

He shook his head. "Not in there, stupid, right here."

A small wave of irritation rose up at his words. "Don't call me stupid."

A grin tugged at his lips, as he grabbed my hand. "You know you want to."

I hated his cocky attitude and that he was right, but something about that night made me powerless to refuse. When I didn't protest, Draco placed his hand confidently on my waist, my entire body responding to his touch. He waved his wand and music started playing out of thin air. My heart beat uncontrollably, as Draco pulled me close and began to sway with me to the music.

We danced for what seemed like forever, lost in our own little world, forgetting about everything and everyone else. Finally, the cold seeped in and I began to shiver. Draco pulled off his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders. For a moment in time, he wasn't Draco Malfoy and I wasn't Clara Weasley, we were just a girl and a boy realizing they were falling in love.

He stared deep into my eyes and I found myself lost in his icy blue stare. "Clara," my name was suddenly beautiful on his lips.

But I couldn't do this, could I. Just an hour ago, I had kissed Seamus and the truth remained the same at the end of the day; he was Draco Malfoy and I was Clara Weasley and no matter how hard we tried, we could never escape that.

Reluctantly, I pulled myself away from his arms and stared at my feet. I didn't need to look at his face to know that he was irritated with me for pulling away. "I should get back to the common room before someone comes looking for me."

"Fine," he said curtly.

My eyes planted firmly on the ground in front of me, I stepped past him. Out of the blue, his arm shot towards me and grabbed a firm hold of my arm. Before I could react, Draco had pulled me to him, his lips crashing down onto mine. An uncontrollable fire spread through my veins, making my legs feel weak under the weight of my body. Unlike the kiss Seamus and I had shared, Draco's was demanding and greedy, without an ounce of gentleness. Yet something inside of me responded in kind, shoving aside all reason, all other thoughts, as I kissed him back. Heat rose all around us, the world slowly melting away once more.

In a brief moment of sanity, I managed to reluctantly pull myself away. We stared at each other in silence, breathing hard, still reeling from the intensity of the moment we had just shared. When neither one of us spoke, I tore my eyes away from his and rushed down the stairs as quickly as I could, suddenly feeling like I needed to get as far away from his as possible. Whatever this thing with Draco was, it was like an addiction and I was almost completely powerless to stop it. If I hadn't already been confused before, I certainly was now.

I entered the dormitory as quietly as I could, hoping everyone else was asleep or still at the dance. My hopes were dashed when Lavender grinned at me. She was sitting cross legged on her bed, already in her pajamas with her hair in a neat braid, obviously waiting for me to return so that she could tell me all about her night with Ron. Suddenly, her eyes widened, as she looked me up and down.

"You're wearing a boy's coat," she observed, her tone accusing. I hadn't even realized I was still wearing the coat Draco had lent me. "It's not Seamus's, is it?"

I shook my head, feeling guilty.

She frowned, disapprovingly. "I could guess when Ron and I saw Seamus downstairs, looking love-struck by himself."

"You and Ron got on then?" I hoped talking about my cousin would be enough to change the subject. Alas, Lavender wasn't so easily distracted as she had once been.

"We can talk about that later, right now I want you to tell me whose coat that is."

I sighed as I let myself flop down onto the bed next to her. I knew she had her suspicions, she was my best friend after all. "I'm in trouble, Lav. I really think I'm falling for Seamus but I can't stop thinking about Malfoy."

Lavender turned towards me with a sympathizing look. "You need to try. I understand the attraction, it's that whole bad boy thing or whatever but you two can never have a future. Seamus is gorgeous and sweet and he adores you."

"Look at you, when did you get to be so wise?" I flashed her a playful smile and she returned it with a light smack on my arm.

"You know I'm right, Malfoy is nothing but trouble."

Of course, I knew she was right, but knowing something is right and following that knowledge are two different things. It was as if my head and heart were in a tug-o-war with each other. Tired of thinking about it, I got up and went to find my pajamas.

Lucky for me, Lavender knew me well enough to not press me further. She allowed me to change the subject with ease, telling me all about how she was sure Ron would ask her to be his girlfriend after the wonderful night they'd had. While I was happy for her, I also envied how easily she knew Ron was the one she wanted and how no one would disapprove of their relationship.

When Lavender had finally tired of talking, I crawled into my own bed, glancing at the coat folded neatly on a chair a few feet away. Tears stung my eyes, as guilt and shame washed over me. I slept uneasy that night, dreaming of icy blue eyes and the smell of freshly cut grass and fireworks.