TEN

I was out cold, but only for a short time before Fred shook me awake. Angel, she said, had told her that I had let him out, and then briskly left the hotel claiming he had to go "save the world." She began to find it odd that I hadn't come upstairs with him, so she decided to investigate.

The heroes went out on a search-and-destroy mission to find Angelus, deeming bringing him in alive "not an option." This was alarming to me, but I felt that it was the punishment I'd brought upon myself, the universe's retribution for my bad judgment and selfishness. I had driven wedge after wedge between myself and Angel, I had facilitated the bringing about of Angelus, stolen his soul then covered my tracks, and then advocated for a dark spell that allowed Angelus to fool us, and I let the murderous bastard out of his cage. And now, Angel might be taken from me forever. I guessed that I deserved it, even if Angel himself did not.

Of course, as soon as the cavalry left the building, Angelus doubled back, knowing I'd be too weak to have joined the hunting party. He found me in the lobby with Lilah lamenting my horrid life, wondering...

"What's it all for?" he finished, mockingly. He jumped down from the balcony amid a series of futile gun blasts from Lilah. Who did she think that would kill, anyway?

In my haste, I shot at him shoddily with a crossbow, and he simply plucked it out of the air. In retort, he threw it back at me, and it lodged in my left thigh. "This time," he yelled, "you stay down!"

He made some innuendos directed at Lilah, then gave her a ten-second head start. Once we were alone, that old smirkiness came back as he warned me, "Don't be jealous, kitten. I'm saving the good stuff for you."

I cursed the reaction this elicited. There I was again, head injury not healed, leg bleeding and me helpless on the floor, and once again, I wanted it... wanted him to press me against the cold marble floor and mistreat me all over again. I could have done without the arrow in my thigh, but the fact that it left me vulnerable was just feeding my disgusting desires. I was glad he'd gone, otherwise he would have delighted in it. Like before, he surely would have known what I was thinking.

I stayed put, and in spite of myself, said a little prayer for Lilah as Angelus pursued her. I figured he'd come back for me eventually, but who was I kidding? Was I really going to flee from him? I was back in the black mire of misery I'd been in when I'd made the decision to give myself to Angelus in exchange for intel.

Come get me, Angelus. Let's finish what we started.

Wes, Gunn, Connor and Fred found me in the lobby a short time later. While Fred and Connor tended to my wound, Gunn and Wes gave chase through the hotel, but in vain. When it was all over, Lilah was dead and Angelus was on the loose.

In support of Wesley, who we all knew held some feeling for Lilah, we all went upstairs a bit later to wrap and retrieve the body. It was decided that she be decapitated in order to ensure that she not rise again with a thirst for blood. I thought that was pretty good thinking – Lilah had been an intelligent, conniving human being. Angelus would no doubt have thought she'd be make a fascinating vampire.

But it gave me a new kind of dread. Something, maybe the glowy demon part of me, told me to heed this dread.

Instead, I pushed it down. It had been one of the longest days of our lives. We were all battered and bruised, emotionally and physically. I personally had had my head bashed against some bars and an arrow stuck in my leg, not to mention the "old" bruises on my face and the bite marks on my neck. Now, it was three in the morning, and I needed to rest – we all did. I attempted to put my fears to bed, while I did the same with my body.

Though I fell asleep quickly, it was a fitful sleep. My mind was in turmoil over my feelings, and my body was screaming with pain in several places. I was frightened, hurting, depressed and lustful, all entwined and revolving around Angelus. I woke at 3:21, then at 3:34, then at 3:50, then at 4:07. I could not coax myself into staying asleep. Each time, I woke with a bit of a start, as if something in my unremembered dreams were thrusting me back into consciousness.

Again, at 4:26, I woke. Again, with a start. I cursed my indecisive insomnia and threw myself back down onto my pillow. And then my eyes flew open.

Had I really seen what I saw?

"Yes, my love, I really am here," he said softly, sitting in a chair across the room, as though he had been there for some time.

Oh shit.

I sat up and looked at him. Out of the shadows, Angelus stood and swaggered, as only he can, over to my bed and sat down near my feet. I could see his face clearly now, though it was still dark in my room. His pale skin was lit with blue moonlight, and he looked diabolically beautiful.

He smiled sweetly. "Whatcha been thinkin' about, dumpling?" He knew the answer, of course.

I hesitated a bit before speaking, but finally, without looking at him, I said "Bruises. Teeth marks. Bump on my head. Hole in my thigh." Not exactly a lie. "You?" I asked him.

"Oddly, I too have been thinking about your thigh," he said. The last word came out dripping with malice and sex. He smiled again. "Only not about the hole in your thigh, but the one..."

"Stop right there. What do you want?"

"Came in through the basement, saw the Anne Boleyn commemorative diorama down there, all clean and ready for the pyre. I know I didn't leave her looking like that, so..." His tone shifted a bit. "Gee, you all must have thought I'd have turned her. Good idea, but no. Funny thing: I didn't kill her – she was dead when I found her. Your Beastmaster must have done that. But it sure was entertaining to see the look on Wes' face. Wish I'd had a camera."

"You are filth," I said, taking a pathetic stab at strong.

He smiled again. He reached out slowly and began to stroke my breast through my satin pajama top. I didn't stop him. "Yeah, I guess I am," he murmured. He leaned in close to my ear. Barely whispering, he spoke slowly, each phrase left to hang in the air like a pungent scent. "But you're the one who's dying for it... the filth. You're the one who's all slick and wet for it... wants it inside... filling you up... making you hurt... making you come... making you scream..."

With those final words, he pinched my nipple hard, and I recoiled from him, barely suppressing a shriek. God, he was right. Angelus was the most violent, cruel, calculating vampire in recorded history. He had already beaten and raped me, knocked me unconscious, played with my mind and shot me in the leg. Filth – and I wanted him to pollute my body. Again. Wreak more havoc, push me over the edge, use me for his stupid game...

For once, my mind overruled my naughty hungers. I decided that this must end. Now.

"Will not happen," I insisted with fragile resistance, looking him straight in the eye.

"Like you could stop it," he chuckled.

Foolishly, I bolted for the door. Of course he grabbed me before I could reach the doorknob, and he pushed me against it. "Let me go!" I demanded, trying fruitlessly to wriggle free.

He put his hand firmly over my mouth. Like before, down in the cage, he pressed against me and I could feel that he was smoldering below the waist, just as I was.

"No you see, Cordy," he rasped at me, not whispering, but just above. "I don't think that's an option. For a couple of reasons, one..." he pushed his bulging crotch into mine, bringing forth a moan from me, muffled against his hand. My desire was now pushed up to eleven.

I opened my eyes to find him smirking at me. He pulled his hand away. "There, now, you see? Do you really want me to let you go?" Once again, he lowered his tone, and pushed against me harder. I gasped at the jolt of pleasure that went through me. "In fact, I might just keep you with me for... a lot longer."

I didn't have time to react to this new revelation before he threw me back on the bed. My head injury protested, and the bandage on my leg came a bit loose, but I didn't move as he barred the door with a chair, then approached the bed. He peeled off his leather jacket, throwing it to the floor.

"My little basement discovery left me feeling a bit cold," he said, unbuttoning his shirt. "I used to have a smart, hot, randy little squeeze to keep me warm on those cold winter nights, but now she's dust. Again. And clearly, I missed my chance with Lilah..." he explained, discarding the shirt, starting on the pants.

He suddenly threw himself onto the bed, straddling my legs. I weakly resisted by trying to turn over, but he pushed me down on my back again. He ripped open my pajama top... I wasn't wearing the bottoms. He tore yet another pair of underwear from my body, and then pulled out his cock. If possible, it seemed even harder and bigger than last time. Any resistance I had left now melted away. Having abandoned myself, I moaned in anticipation.

"Just do it," I whispered. "Take me." My voice, like the rest of me, was quivering by now.

He leaned down close again, supporting himself on his elbows, enveloping my head with his arms. Back to the clenched whisper, "Maybe, since your own demon essence isn't enough for you, and you're so dying to be taken, filled up by a different kind of demon..."

I'd known it was coming. Somehow, I had suspected that my worst fear was true: he had come here tonight with the intention of siring me.

"...all you gotta do is ask for it," he sang at me, smiling broadly.