Sorry I'm late.

Enjoy.

Angst.

Yes okay, on with it.

Chapter Ten

If you say so

"I check my phone and wait to hear from you…and now I'll never know if everything I've been told is just a lie so cold."

Regina stares at her phone for the nth time the past hour, biting her lip and fidgeting. She awaits the call that never comes, waits for the voice she longs to hear to greet her ears. It's been ages, it seems, since he's last called, seems like it's been so long since he's spoken to her, since she last heard from him. She knows, logically, that she isn't going to be able to talk to him all the time, knows that the process of healing doesn't include talking to each other every day, or facetiming with each other whenever they are free.

She knows that trying to heal isn't going to be together.

But it's been fourteen whole days now since they last had any form of communication and she misses him, misses talking to him. She misses his dimpled smile, the way he bites his lip when he is extremely happy, or teasing, she misses his arms around her and the way he would pull her close just so he could kiss her. She misses the sound of his voice and the feel of his skin against hers.

The conversation they had two weeks ago still echoes in her head. He'd sounded so off, sounded like he'd been so distant and distracted. She'd thought it had been stress at the time, he'd said he was exhausted, but now she wonders if it's anything more, maybe it is more than meets the eye.

"I love you, Robin," she'd told him as they were saying goodbye. She'd heard his breath hitch, and she frowned, but smiled when she heard the next words that left his lips.

"I love you more," he'd said, his voice soft and lulling, exactly as it is when he tells her he loves her.

Her heart fluttered and her lips formed into a wider smile as she closed her eyes, sighing, "If you say so."

That had been it, and she'd heard no more from him since that day. She'd tried calling but he never picks up.

It is almost as if he's trying to forget she ever existed.

…

"He's probably just busy, you know?" Mary Margaret says, watching Regina as she sips her coffee. They are out together, catching up after a long week, and when MM had asked why Regina looks so glum, Regina had not been able to stop from divulging her current condition with Robin.

"I know," Regina says, shrugging slowly and looking down on her cup of coffee. She gnaws at her bottom lip and sighs, forcing the tears not to fall. "It's just I haven't even heard from him, not even a peep. Even his facebook wall has no activity for the past fourteen days. It's just unusual. I'm worried."

It is true, she is worried. If anything happens to him while he's out there and she's here, not entirely sure what is happening to him…she doesn't even know what she'd do. She understands that they cannot always be in touch and that there are days that he won't be able to talk to her, and she's fine with that, she just wishes he'd let her know if he's alright, that is all she's worried about.

And it's ridiculous because they aren't even together anymore, they haven't really resolved what their relationship status is. All she knows is that she loves him and he's asked her to wait for him and that is exactly what she is going to do.

"You'd have heard from him if anything happens," Mary Margaret assures her, ever the optimist. Of course, Mary Margaret would always have hope—she's a fricking Disney princess come to life. Sometimes, Regina lets her imagination run away from her and she envisions Mary Margaret talking to birds. Other days, when Mary Margaret gets into her bad side, or is too cheerful for her tastes, she imagines slipping her a poisoned apple.

"I just want to be sure," Regina sighs. She looks up at Mary Margaret and tries to smile, which probably comes out as a grimace. "I'm sure he's fine. I mean, he has to be."

"You know, maybe you should surprise him," Mary Margaret says, her eyes twinkling the way it does when she has an idea which is surely about her meddling into other people's lives.

"Mary Margaret…" Regina trails off with a warning, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes on the younger brunette.

They have come a long way, her and Mary Margaret. There is once upon a time when she'd really have gladly slipped her those poisoned apples at any given time of the day, but now, now, she just thinks of it occasionally.

"Maybe you should fly to London and just surprise him," Mary Margaret continues as if she hadn't heard anything. "I bet he'd like that."

It isn't a bad idea, not at all, and Regina finds herself considering it.

"Maybe," she agrees with a nod, looking down on her cup once more, mulling it over. It would cost her a lot, but it would be worth it to see his face and his smile and finally just press her lips against his. It would be worth it.

…

Regina sits in front of her computer, browsing online for tickets to London. She bites her lip, the amount making her wince every now and again, but she thinks that if it would help, then why not? She does miss him, after all. And the money she can pay off, but every minute that she isn't with him is killing her.

Besides, it's been too long.

It sounds ridiculous, really, because just a few weeks ago, she'd been the one adamant to put an end to this relationship. Only now, now that he's trying to change for her, she knows she has to give a little. He wants this to work, and because she still loves him, she wants that too, and she is willing to go through any lengths to make that happen. If he could pack up and leave everything behind to try and heal himself so they could begin again, then she could do this…she could wait for him and do her part to make this work.

Doubts flood her mind as she casts her eyes on her phone. He still hasn't called. Maybe he's changed his mind? Maybe he doesn't want this to work anymore? Maybe he's moved on? She doesn't know, and she reckons she never will unless he calls her and tells her what is going on. She wants to think that it's all spelled out for her and that this is the end, but Mary Margaret's optimism seems to have rubbed off on her, and now she wills herself to hold on to hope—like what Robin always tells her before he lost his.

"You fate could go many ways," he'd always tell her before he wraps his arms around her and kisses her temple, making her feel safe and secured, making her feel like maybe, yes, things would work out. "There is a bright future waiting for you at every turn, even if you miss one."

She'd always sigh and cuddle further into his embrace, dreaming of a future and holding on to the hope.

She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose with a sigh and reaches for her phone. Slowly, she dials the number she's already memorized by heart. She bites down on her bottom lip, heart beating erratically in her chest. It rings and rings, but no one picks up, and in the end she is sent to voicemail.

She tries not to be disappointed, but it is there, gnawing at her chest, and she fights the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. Her breath hitches when she hears the beep.

"Hi," she says softly as she removed her glasses from her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, "it's me again, Regina. I…I don't know why you suddenly just stopped talking to me all together. I don't even know anymore how we got to this point, where we went wrong. Perhaps it was when you lost hope, perhaps when I stopped believing we can make it right. Maybe you've found someone else. Maybe you're just busy and I'm just getting ahead of myself. Maybe I'm not, and you've finally just found your happiness without me. I don't really know anymore." She pauses as her breath hitches, her voice cracking as tears pour from her eyes. "But I do know that whatever happened between us, I could never regret it. Not any of it, and I would never trade all those years for anything. There might be a time that I wished I hadn't pushed you away, but maybe it was for the best, if it means that you're getting better, then I…I could never regret that." She doesn't know how long she has until she has to finish, so she swallows and closes her eyes. "I just want you to know that you are and you always will be the best thing that has ever happened to me. The pat six years will always be the best years of my life…and I…I love you, Robin. I always will."

She pauses as the tone beeps, signaling the end of the voice mail and she breathes in deeply, before she crumples into a heap on the ground, heart breaking and tears flooding her eyes.

A/N: I did say more angst, didn't I? :) For those who aren't following me on twitter (why?), i announced that this will be 15 chapters long and I have written almost all of it. So a few more to go! Thank you for coming along with me on this journey :)

Let me know what you think.